Who was the town drunk?

Clara Edwards



What did Gomer do for a living?

He gave dance lessons in the lobby of the hotel.



Where did Barney keep his bullet?

In his thongs



What kind of TV program did Aunt Bee host?

soul train


What did Opie want too buy with the $50 he found?

A lifetime supply of girdles for Aunt Bee.

What was Otis' occupation during the week?

Aunt Bea's "Boy toy"

Why did Don Knotts leave the show?

Because he and Opie got into a fight, and Opie blacked his eye.


What State was Mayberry in?

A mental state.

What happened after Aunt Bee wore a wig?

What happened after Aunt Bee wore a wig?

One of the baby birds that Opie raised came back and built a nest in it.

Who threw rocks through windows?

Who threw rocks through windows?

:lol:

Andy. It gave him something to "investigate" and make him look busy doing his job.


What, if anything, was wrong with Aunt Bee's homemade pickles?

Well, lets just say the glass jar was tastier

Why did Gomer join the Marines?

Andy caught him throwing rocks through windows and gave him the choice of being charged with destruction of private property or joining the service [actually the choice of joining to avert a criminal charge was common for young men in the 40's and 50's].

We know Barney went with Thelma Lou, but met Juanita the waitress on the side. Who did Thelma Lou meet "on the side?'

Helen Crump



What kind of pills did Emma Watson need to stay healthy?

Stool softeners.


What happened regarding Opie and a mother bird?

The mother bird wanted to feed opie worms.



how did Opie kill the bird?

He fed the bird one of Aunt Bee's homemade pickles.

Why did Goober think his dog could talk?

Cause Goober only knew how to bark, himself

What brand of automobiles did Mayberry use as squad cars?

The Edsel of course. :lol:

Why didn't Opie want Aunt Bee around at first?

He was hoping his new nannie would be "a real hot babe, paw"

How did Aunt Bea win Opie over?

She sang him a song: Blueberry Hill

Why did Barney leave Mayberry?

He got a new job, doing commercials for ladies underwear.



Who was Warren's hero?

Otis, like everyone ELSE in town

Did Floyd the Barber EVER take a day off?

Only on the days when Warren used the shop to do his dog grooming.




What happened to Warren?

He was eaten by Fido, the town shark

Did anyone miss him?

Oh Yes, several people did, no one could groom an old goat like Warren.




What was the old goats name?

Fred Sanford


Who was Barneys girlfriend?

He had a very strange relationship with that bullet he always kept in his pocket

What happened to Andy's first wife?

Barney shot and killed her



What did Aunt Bee's pickles taste like?

sardines, they looked like them too



What were Andy, Barney & Aunt Bea looking for at the city dump one night?

Warren's body

Who was the justice of the Peace in Mayberry?

Otis Campbell, he'd marry em', liquor em' up & then bury em'



Why did Floyd pretend that Andy & Opie were his sons on an episode?

He was drunk at the time.



Why did Andy call Barney, Barn.?

Because he knew a barn was where Barney had his first experience.

And speaking of that, why didn't Ramona Wiley admit she remembered Barney at the class reunion?

She had a few too many before leaving the house.

Why was Barney not wanted in the choir?

He had bad breathe.



Why was the goat, called, "the loaded goat"?

because it got into Otis's moonshine


How does Andy get Miss Crump's class interested in History?

He brings in the oldest man in town, Ben Weaver, to give them a first hand account of the civil war.



What else was Ben Weaver known for?

He had Ben a Weaver of baskets; a trade he learned at the Mayberry Funny Farm.

But who was the valedictorian of that basket-weaving class?

Ben's brother Charlie Weaver, who later moved to Hollywood Squares



Why was Big Jeff going around town lifting up women?

Because there wasn't any men around.


Who did he fall in love with?

Andy's squad car

What did Howard wear each and every single day?

Thongs


Why did Floyd want to go to Nashville for?

He wanted to be Elvis Presley's band manager

Who has Thelma Lou wrapped around his little finger?

The Jolly Green Giant. If you remember back to the 60's when CBS was showing TAGS every weekday, he seemed to be the main advertiser.

What did Thelma Lou do for a living (this one shouldn't be hard)?

She was a hostess at the Honky Tonk Club in Mt. Pilot during the week and occassionally worked at The Zephyr Room in Raleigh on weekends.

Is Aunt Bee a good cook?

yes, but only when she's loaded.


How did Andy plan to make enough money for Opie's education?

He talked Otis into going in together on a moonshine still, big money in that!



How did he keep Otis from drinking up the profits though?

He stored most of the moonshine in "the loaded goat"

What schoolteacher is Andy sweet on?

Miss Landers. Yes, Miss Landers!


Normally you don't see any dogs in Mayberry. Where did all those dogs come from, that Opie leads into the courthouse ?

The dog catcher from Mount Pilot let them out at the Mayberry city limits since he was tired of listening to all that barking.



Who does Barney go get in the middle of a thunderstorm?

The dog catcher from Mount Pilot let them out at the Mayberry city limits since he was tired of listening to all that barking.



Who does Barney go get in the middle of a thunderstorm?
Nobody! He's afraid of thunderstorms, so he hid under the coffee table.

Where did Barney keep the keys to the cells?

Around the necks of giraffes; they're so selfish they wouldn't let anybody have them.

And why do giraffes have such a liking for getting hit by lightning?

it tans their skin so well LOL!

Who does Barney have wrapped around his little finger?

Thelma Lou - she'll even go to the duck pond with him, when you can't see the ducks.


At the beginning of the series, it was revealed that Barney was what kind of relation to Andy ?

twin brother




What manly sport does that lady beat Andy at doing?

Arm wrestling. Andy was so embarrassed, he stopped going by Floyd's.



Aunt Bee's cooking was normally good. What did she try to make, that failed miserably ?

Pineapple Upside Down Cake, she misread the ingredients since she was too vain to wear her eyeglasses.




What ingredient did she accidently use instead of Pineapples?

Pineapple Upside Down Cake, she misread the ingredients since she was too vain to wear her eyeglasses.




What ingredient did she accidently use instead of Pineapples?

Pinesol

What did Aunt Bee's pickels taste like?

the pineapple upside down cake. Boy she really got things messed up!

Who never carries a bullet in his gun?

Ernest T. Bass - he just wants to scare Barney with the gun.



How does Andy treat the new lady pharmicist in town ?

He arrests her for selling sugar pills.



What medicine did Emma Watson insist that Elly sell her?

Methamphetamines.



Why does Barney invide a load of ladies to Andy's house ?

For spring cleaning

Why does Barney always get involved in Andy's personal life?

Because his own life is so dull he needs an escape with that swinging sheriff's life.



Who went around town lifting women off their feet?

Reverand Tucker and Howard Sprague

Considering that we see the same few people in charge of the Town Council, the church (as if the only one there), the lodge, the garden club... who or what really runs Mayberry?

The Mob.

How did Andy and Barney convince Otis that he shouldn't drive a car?

They tied him to the car hood & let that loaded goat drive him around.



What Royal spirit was Barney trying to get in touch with?

King Rootin Tootin.



What usually happens, when Barney is put in charge of guarding prisoners by himself ?

He usually takes them to a movie & sometimes dancing if they behave well.



Why did the court house lights keeping blinking off & on?

Barney tried to signal Andy that Thelma Lou was attacking him.


Who was the "Fun Girls"?

Aunt Bee and Clara

What did Big Maude and the other female escaped convicts force Barney and Floyd to do for their entertainment?

Drink jello shots with Otis. Then Otis, Andy,and Barney all locked themselves up for the night.


Why did the fun girls have such raspy voices ?

From overindulging in raspberries, LOL

Who ends up selling Barney a "lemon"?

Eddie Haskell, he was the used car salesman in Mayberry




Who else got one of Eddie's lemmons?

Otis Campbell. Thank God, he didn't need to be behind the wheels anyway.

What did Opie and Arnold do with the baby they found at the front door of the Court House?

They dressed him up as a pink elephant to play a practical joke on Otis.

Who is Andy sweet on, and eventually marries?

Emma Watson. He liked older chicks.


After the big Baseball Game, Why was everyone mad at Andy?

They found out that Andy was placing large bets against his own team. The baseball commissioner stopped by, embarassing the whole town.



When Andy needed Barney, to hurry over to a justice of the peace office with $25, Barney assumed Andy was getting married. Why did Andy really need $25 at the justice of the peace ?

To pay for all those red light running fines he racked up.




Why does Aunt Bea end up with a redecorated bedroom?

Because she signed a contract with The Medicine Man, who was really a sly home contractor in disguise.

What song does Aunt Bee sing when she's drunk in one episode?

Flying High Again By Ozzie Osbourne


What did Gomer make a citizens arrest on Barney for?

for littering when he left the sidecar of his motorcycle in the street



Who was in the sidecar when it came unhitched?

Opie's Lionel train set

What happens to "The Spoiled Kid" at the end of the ep?

He and opie teamed up together and beat up the father.

What was Andy doing when he got the black eye?

playing catch with Ernest T Bass, that was a big mistake



What did Ernest T like to throw?

Wild parties for the whole town.




When Otis rode around on the cow, what did he think it was ?

Barneys Motorcycle.

What was Andy, Barney and Gomer searching for in the old haunted house?

Thelma Lou



Why was Thelma Lou hiding in the haunted house?

So that when Barney and Andy came by, she could yell 'Thelma-BOO!!'



What was the difference between Goober and Gomer ?

One was a girl & one was a guy.



Why did Barney want Gomer to be a temporary deputy?

So that he could do work on the police car, at less cost than he would charge as a mechanic.




Why is Andy mad, when he finds a burnt candle in Opie's things ?

Because he hates the smell of wax.

After Barney finds the attache case full of money, why does his scheme to pretend to be finder/keeper/big spender not work?

Because the suitcase was full of Monopoly money, but Barney was such a boob he didn't realize it!

Why does Andy arrest Aunt Bea and her women friends?

Because they were all smoking pot with Ernest in Floyd's barber shop.




Why did Aunt Bee say that she was going out with the Butter & Egg man ?

She wanted to make Clara jealous of all the freebies she was supposedly getting.



What did Gomer drop off the roof of the jail that stopped the escapees in their tracks?

his sneakers (which were kind of funky)

Why does Helen Crump storm into Sheriff Taylor's office?

She wanted to Congratulate him on his new love interest.

What was the old goat full of?

Tin cans, that Barney threw out his apartment window from his cooking.....



Why did Barney's landlady forbid him from cooking in his apartment ?

Because his camp fire kept burning a hole in the floor.



What exactly was the Mayberry High Cutlass?

An Oldsmobile that Goober kept up on jacks. (You really got me there - never heard of that one!)



How does the Darling family indicate that they are out of something at the dinner table ?

^ (It was their high school yearbook)

They shake their pet rattlesnake


Who kept climbing in & out of the hotel window one night?

Andy.

And just what was the attraction in that hotel room for which he clumb in and out?

Those little mini bars of soap, they needed them for the weekly bath they gave Otis.



Why did the lady prisoner accuse Andy of having a speed trap?

Because she was nabbed as soon as she entered Mayberry to buy her speed.




Why did Opie give up his grocery delivery job to another boy ?

because he got a better job running numbers for the Mt. Pilot Lotto Club

What happens to "The Spoiled Kid's" bicycle?

Andy kept in that courthouse shed so Opie could have a source for extra parts for his bicycle, which he often seemed to have need of.

What business did that "spoiled kid" get into when he grew up?

A child psychologist, since he understood temper tantrums so well.



What conclusion did Andy jump to, when he saw Opie's busted piggy bank ?

That Opie had a mad craving for bacon (or was that ham??????)

What does Helen Crump do for a living?

Long term caregiver for Otis.



Why do Opie and Barney hope that no one will come to claim the lost wallet ?

Because they wanted to keep all those pictures of Raquel Welch & Marilyn Monroe that they found inside it.



Why was Mr. Darling dipping his hat in the water?

because it was dehydrated and thirsty LOL

Who sells Barney a "lemon"?

Mr. Haney!



Why did Barney ticket the British bicycler ?

Because he only had a British Bike License and not an American one.



What did Malcolm overhear when he went by the window?

That Winston Churchill was a communist.

And what was his reaction to this bit of gossip?

He declared war on Mayberry.



What did Malcolm pour down the kitchen sink?

Mrs. Gooseberry's Tenderly Aged Ginger Oil. It was supposed to be good for the pipes.

What household activity is Aunt Bea particularly skilled at?

Installing large plumbing fixtures.



What impressed Mr. Darling about Aunt Bea, that he wanted to marry her ?

Her drunken piano playing.



Why did Barney say Aunt Bea was gassed?

Because Barney saw her bumbling around the house burping and farting.




How did she get so gassy ?

from eating all those high octane kerosene pickles



Who's picture do they see when they develope the film of Wally's Filling Station burglary?

Aunt Bea from her early days as a burlesque stripper in Mt. Pilot

What type of "medicine" does the Medicine Man sell to Aunt Bea and her friends?

Antacids, to curtail all that pickle-induced gasiness.



Why did Barney set up a microphone in one of the jail cells ?

He wanted to hear Otis's rendition of "How Dry I Am"

When Helen first comes to teach in Mayberry, why does she storm into Andy's office and yell at him?

Because she found a parking ticket on her windshield, that had written: "No fine if Opie gets straight A's"



Why did Andy & Opie intentionally make a big mess in the house, before Aunt Bea returned from her trip ?

Because Otis was spending the night & they wanted him to feel at home.



What war hero was Otis related to?

Colonel Jim Beam and General Jack Daniels.



When Barney tried to help Otis quit drinking, what did he tell Otis to do when he had the urge ?

play aunt bea's piano



Who kept chasing Andy in the courthouse?

Helen Crump - she really was mad about that ticket!




The 2 guys that Barney was supposed to chase away - what were they selling on the side of the road ?

Hollywood Tour maps



Why did Andy go to Hollywood?

To steal John Wayne's footprints from Grauman's (wrong show?).

When he was on the airplane, what did Andy remember that he had overlooked at home that almost made him panic?

Aunt Beas special signature shoo flie and balsamic vinegar cross-hatch pie

What was the secret ingredient in the Medicine Man's elixir that made Aunt Bea and her gal pals so happy and carefree?

cactus juice & cod-liver oil



Who did the man who played Andy in the Hollywood movie resemble?

Elliot Ness

Who, on TAGS, always tried to act more important than he actually is?

Otis! He thought since he drank, he was right up there with Dean Martin.

What Famous Star that come to Town, did Barney date when he was younger?

Olive Goyle, who was the real life model for Olive Oyl.

And just what did Popeye think of this?

He didn't care - Popeye the sailor was more interested in Andy Taylor.


Why was Opie upset when Andy took a woman fishing with them ?

He was afraid she would giggle to much and run the fish off,

What did Opie say he didn't want Aunt Bee to leave when she was first introduced to the show?

Because they needed her fantastic hunting & fishing skills to keep food on the table.



What gets put in the watercooler at the jail?

Andy didn't want the Inspector to see how big a klutz Barney was so he stuffed him in the watercooler.:lol: :crazy:

How Did Andy and Barney convince Otis not to get a car?

Showed him the price of gas!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:




What was the name of Andy's wife?

[QUOTE=dahatman]Showed him the price of gas!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:
:rofl:



What was the name of Andy's wife?[/QUOTE
Emma Watson, he likes older women.:lol:

What did Opie kill in the front yard of his house?

the loaded goat

What was the loaded goat loaded with?

Barneys Bullets.

What did Andy do doing the big Baseball Game that made the Town Folks mad at him?

[QUOTE=dahatman]Showed him the price of gas!!!:lol: :lol: :lol:
QUOTE]
It's cheaper to get gassed up Otis' way !


What did Andy do doing the big Baseball Game that made the Town Folks mad at him?

He got whacked up on moonshine and streaked out on the field during the 7th inning stretch.



How does the newspaper executive get back at Andy for giving him a ticket and dragging him back to pay the fine ?

he reveals the secret ingredient in Aunt Bea's wild molasses and bubblegum pie.

Who does Barney have wrapped around his little thumb?

Ernest T Bass, and his bag of rocks



What does the dog "Blue" do when Barney blows his special whistle?

Helps irrigate the growth of plants, if you catch my drift.

What song does the Medicine Man inspire Aunt Bea to sing?

"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"


Why are the Darling boys so quiet ?

Because their sister charlene was so beautiful, it left them speechless.

Why was Andy so worried about Barneys weight and height?

Because Barney was getting so much more rugged and verile than Andy & Andy was afraid Barney was after his job.

Just what kind of medicine, exactly, was The Medicine Man selling?

castor oil


Who invited the medicine man to dinner?

Otis Campbell. He wanted a swig of what he was selling.:lol:

What did Barney do that caused Gomer to say "citizens arrest, citizens arrest"!:lol:

cracking his knuckles on a Sunday, which carried a $5 fine or two days in jail.

Who sells Barney a "lemon"?

Opie, at his Lemonade stand




What happens to the steering wheel of Barney's car?

\Barney turns it into a hula hoop

What is Aunt Bea good at doing?

The Funky Chicken.:lol: :crazy:

How does Barney handle himself when he runs into the town bully?

He ends up trembling so much that he makes the bully dizzy. The bully then faints and Andy tells everyone it was a knockout.

Which teacher of Opie's was initially peeved at Andy?

Mrs. Rayburn, since he arrested her once for bullying poor Barney



Where did Mrs. Rayburn live before coming to Mayberry?

That great cosmopolitan enclave called Mt. Pilot

Who is Helen sweet on?

Opie, after he got her those panty hose.

How did Andy react, when he found out that Opie was giving her panty hose as a gift ?

He was really mad, since that was Andy was planning on getting her too.




What treat did Thelma Lou give Opie when he was feeling down about the little girl Karen?

He was really mad, since that was Andy was planning on getting her too.




What treat did Thelma Lou give Opie when he was feeling down about the little girl Karen?
Upside Down Cake
What did Karen do when she seen Opie walking away with Thelma Lou?

She did a cartwheel to get Opie's attention



Why did Barney get mad when Opie went home with Thelma Lou?

Barney was worried, that when they got home, Opie would explain Barney's duck-pond intentions to Thelma Lou.


How did Andy react to Opie's temper tantrum ?

He laid on the floor with him and threw a fit hisself.:lol: :crazy:

Why did Opie throw a fit to begin with?

Because Aunt Bea wouldn't let him keep that stray skunk he brought home.


Where did Bea, Clara & Mrytle go on vacation?

Club Med!!!

What was the address of Andy Taylor's house??

123 Fake Street.


How did Andy counsel the married couple, that was always fighting ?

Told them to go see Judge Judy who gave them each a Zetz and told them to shape out and ship out because she didn't have STUPID written all over her face!

What happened to the spoiled kid's bike?

Otis took it & tried to drive it home when he was on a bender.



What was Otis usually arrested for?

drinking lemonade in broad daylight on a Sunday (it's against a Mayberry ordinance)


Who is Goober related to?

Jimmy the goat, but they're not blood-relatives. lol!




What did Jimmy the goat get in trouble for doing?

Butting Barney in the you know where. Thelma Lou was furious at the goat because she was getting ready to give Barney a good swift kick there herself.

What animal accidentally eats some dynamite on the show?

That silly skunk, Opie wanted as a pet. Another reason why Aunt Bea wouldn't let Opie keep him.


Why was Barney trying to contact Count Vandelecki?

Barney stood to inherit a fortune from the Romanian relatives on his mom's side of the family?

Why will Andy never eat spaghetti again?

Because Aunt Bea's home-made spagetti sauce tasted like kerosene.



Why did the farmer want to name is newborn baby "Andy"?

Because he was a great big fan of Andy Warhol
[/SIZE]
Why does Andy arrest Aunt Bea and her gal friends?

For loitering in front of Floyd's.


What was Otis hooked on ?

phonic's especially on saturday night



What was found in the 2 little old ladies greenhouse?

A couple of cannibis plants that had gone to pot.

Does Andy's history lesson convince the boys to study more?

No, it just makes them go out looking for a gun, that shoots so loud, it can be heard around the world.



What happens when Barney becomes interested in astrology ?

He writes the hit song "Aquarius".



Who in Mayberry first sings that hit song?

Otis while drunk on Boone's Farm moonshine.

What is Howard's occupation?

Freelance Photographer - Portraits a Specialty.


Who was Opie's first grilfriend?:cool:

Nellie Oleson

What does a sweet old lady, played bY Ellen Corby, sell Barney?

The Brooklyn Bridge, Central Park, the Staten Island Ferry, and the Statue of Liberty.



When Barney leaves Mayberry for another job, where does he go, and for what job ?

He goes to the Outer Banks for a lighthouse keeper's job, they figured his singing wouldn't bother anyone way out there.



What was Aunt Bea keeping on the shelf of the coat closet?

The Medicine Man's elixir just in case she ever needed a pick me up while stewing the sauce LOL.

While is Helen Crump so grumpy with Andy over Opie's homework?

Because she can tell Barney's been giving him the answers again.



Why was the principal so upset over the class play? (from a later episode)

Because it drew an "R" rating, so ther other kids in the class couldn't see it.


Why was the hotel owner upset about the Darlings staying there ?

Because they took the room he was saving for the Playboy Bunnies.:lol:

Why did Barney get kicked out of his Room?

For letting those bunnies stay over.


Why was Mrs. Mendlebright so strict on her "No Cooking Rule" in the room she rented Barney?

cause straw huts tend to be far from fireproof

Why was Goober CALLED Goober?

It was due to his mechanic position. Mechanics were called grease monkeys; tire changers/fixers were called tubers.
Grease monkey + tuber = Goober.


What was Opie trying to win for his Dad at the carnival ?

A hot new wife/mommy

What did Opie win instead?

3 tutoring lessons given by Barney



Why does Otis call Aunt Bea the warden?

It's from that little "Convict and the Warden's wife" game they play in the bedroom, all the time

Why didnt aunt Bee ever marry?

Because every man in town heard about the pickles.

How did word leak out, about the armoured truck coming through Mayberry ?

It was in the NY Times, and, everyone in Mayberry reads that

Who ran over to Barney screaming "CITIZEN'S ARREST! CITIZEN'S ARREST!" ?

Barney's landlady, when she caught him cooking in the room. The way the chili was smoking, she wanted to have him arrested on a smoking ordinance.


What personal item did Opie want to give his teacher for a gift ?

A Victoria's Secret Garter Belt, he thought it was a cool slingshot.



Where did Barney think Malcolm came from?

The middle !


What kind of TV show did Aunt Bea star in ?

Talk Sex with Aunt Bee.:lol:

What did Barney do when he found out the escaped convict was after him?

He ordered Gomer to go find him and make a citizen's arrest, citizen's arrest.




Who fed Andy & Barney at luchtime ?

Otis, they were on liquid diets



Why was Charlene chasing Andy around the jailhouse?

She wanted to catch him and drag him down to the lab for a paternity test.



How does Barney trick the single girls of Mayberry to go by Andy's to meet him ?

He tells them Jim Lindsey & Elvis are coming over for a jam session with Andy.


After first meeting Helen Crump, why does Barney think she's not the right girl for Andy?

Because he had a secret crush on her and wanted her all to himself.

What was the name of the fish that Howard caught?

It was Barney's cousin, Mr Limpett (That joke makes sense if you know who Mr Limpett is)

Was Opie glad that his Dad was dating his teacher?

^lol!^ I remember that movie!

Not really, he was afraid she'd give his Pa homework assignments too.


What did Malcolm ride into town on?

Barney's back

What lesson does Andy teach the young'uns to get back in good with Helen?

Always leave your guns at the schoolhouse door

Why did Andy so rarely carry a gun?

Because he had sure shot Barney watching his back.

Who was the town drunk?

Mayor Stoner (lol!)


Why did Charlene Darling need to dig a hole in the woods during a full moon?

to hide her dowery which was 832 cases of genuine moonshine.

What was the loaded goat loaded with?

Barney's hair tonic.

Who did Aunt Bea tell Andy and Helen she was "keeping company" with?

Ernest T Bass senior



How did Andy react to that news?

Shotgun wedding.

How many pets did the Taylors have?

27 - The 20 stray dogs, the mother bird & 4 birdlings, the loaded goat, and the cow that gives horse-rides.

Why did Andy & Opie intentionally mess up the house ?

They heard Floyd's new manicurist could clean a house with a blink of her eye, so they just had to put it to the test.



How well did the pretty manicurist do at Floyd's Barber Shop?

Extremely well for Mayberry. Let's see on a good day, she got a large jar of Vitalis from Floyd , a large can of watermelon relish from Aunt Bea, a shoo-flie pie from Helen, and a book of S & H trading stamps from Clara.

What happens to the Spoiled Kid at the end of the ep?

His father buys him another, nicer bike, and promises him a sportscar when he turns 16.

What happens to the fur, that Barney buys for Thelma Lou ?

It grows legs and runs up a tree

Who's the town drunk of Mayberry?

Floyd - that's why everyone makes sure that they get their haircuts early in the day.



Why does Andy have a tough time judging the beauty contest ?

Because all of the contestants are relatives of Gomer & Ernest T Bass.


What happened when Ernest T was a crossing guard in Mayberry?

A 20-car pileup occurred when Ernest started throwing rocks at the windows of the cars passing by.

Why does the Englishman Malcolm do, that causes him to get fined ?

He gets fined for using English money in the parking meter, Barney thinks its counterfit.



How does Malcolm come up with the cash to pay his fine?

He enters a beer drinking contest against Otis - AND WINS $25! The exact amt of his fine

Was the loaded goat really drunk?

No, they meant loaded in another way - the goat was extremely wealthy.


Why can't Opie tell Andy, where the kid is from, who ran away from home ?

Cause he has no idea where "Osaka Japan, doko da" IS

Where did Barney move to, after resigning from the Mayburry PD?

Mayfield, he heard there was a crime ring headed by some kid named Haskell there.


Why didn't Jim Lindsay pay his bills when he came back to Mayberry?

He didn't have any money because the Darling Family's jug & spoon band put his band out of business.

Why does Otis lock himself in jail ?

Because he does not want to pass Go and collect $200!

What kind of car does the little old lady sell to Barney?

one of those cute matchbox cars



What happens when Barney & Andy fall asleep in the back of the car?

Thelma Lou and Helen do lap dances to wake them up.

What song does Aunt Bea sing when she is drunk on "medicine"?

Whiskey, Tramps & Thieves which later became a big hit for Cher when she changed the title up a bit.


What kind of pills did Elly refuse to sell Emma Watson?

The pills that make her larger, and the ones that make her small, and, of course, the ones that don't do anything at all.

At what sport does Thelma Lou's cousin beat Andy ?

Midget tossing

What did Barney always carry in his pocket....just in case?

Rolaids, just in case he is forced to eat another on of Aunt Bee's pickles.


How does the big businessman from Raleigh get even with Andy ?

He sells Helen a used Edsel with no brakes

Why did Gomer leave Mayberry?

To try and make it big in Mt. Pilot as a singer!

What happens to the "Spoiled Kid's" bike at the end of the ep?

Barney makes it an offical vehicle of the Mayberry police department.



What does Opie do to imitate the spoiled rich boy?

He moons all the poor folks as they go by

In the reunion movie, who runs against Andy for Sheriff?

Sarah Palin's ex-brother-in-law, Freddy.


What scandal is revealed in the election between Andy and Freddy ?

That they both dated Juanita at the same time.


Who were considered swingers when they came to Mayberry?

Howard and Barney


What game show did Aunt Bee win all the prizes on?

He thought Barney may have contracted an STD.

What did the "T" stand for in Ernest T. Bass?

Tasmanian


Name one of the younguns Helen teaches?

Arnold Drummond

What was that in Barney's shirt pocket?