(Ralph is at Burger King. He is waiting for Ed.)

Ralph: "I wonder where he could be."

(Ed walks in with a George W. Bush mask on. The audience laughs and applauds. Ed taps Ralph on the back of his shoulder.)

Ed (imitating George W. Bush): "Pardon me sir, are you familiar wiht Al-Queda?"

(Ralph truns around, sees Ed with the mask on and gets scared. Ed laughs.)

Ralph: "What is the matter with you? What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?"

Ed: "It's President's Day. All of us sewer workers are disguising ourselves as the current and former preisdents."

Ralph: "Norton, you are a mental case."

Ed: "Do you have our lunches ready?"

Ralph: "Yes, I do. I ordered the same for both of us. Four cheeseburgers and fries."

Ed: "Thank you. This lunch will go great with the two sandwiches that I ate over here."

Ralph: "In honor of President's Day, I wonder who's going to win the White House this year. Who will you vote for?"

Ed: "I...haven't given it much thought. I think I will go with Guiliani."

Ralph: "Norton, you dope. Guiliani just dropped out. Anyway, I am going with I think Barack. I don't know the reason yet. I wonder what our very own George Washington and Abe Lincoln will think of this election. This election could be groundbreaking. We can have the first black or the first woman president."

Ed: "I hope the enxt president gets a better approval rating than George."

Ralph: "I am kind of in the middle about George W. Bush. I think he can do a better job running this country. I hope George Washington and Abe think highly of him and his dad."

Ed: "I don't think that they approve of what he tried to do. Tap into people's phone lines."

Ralph: "He was just trying to protect our people. I understand that."

Ed: "People will say: 'Sure you do Ralph. You are too cheap to buy a phone.'"

Ralph: "Ooooh, you are a riot Norton. I think that the next president we get will be more popular and a better president than the one we have and I hope our forefathers like him."

Ed: "Nothing like having your predessors approve of you. That is the sign of respect."

Ralph: "It sure is."

(They sing a song about U.S. Presidents.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Folks, as usual, the Miami Beach audiences are the GREATEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

"Be It Ever So Humble":

Alice: "Ralph, what do you want with your pancakes?"

Ralph (from other room): "What do you have?"

Alice: "Bacon, ham and sausage."

Ralph (from other room): "Okay."

Alice: "What's okay?"

Ralph (from other room): "Bacon, ham and sausage."

"Dial J For Janitor":

(Ed, who has been complaing to Ralph, the janitor about the lack of water in his apartment because of Ralph's neglience as janitor, comes in looking like he's sick.)

Ralph: "Can I get you anything?"

Ed: "Yes. Water! Water! Water! I want water!"

"The Safety Award":

Ralph: "A group of men are picked to do a job. Trained in the same fashion as each other. There's always one man in the group that stands far in front of the others."

Ed: "Yeah, I guess you are right there Ralph. If you stood any more out in front, you wouldn't be able to get behind the wheel of a bus."

"Man In The Blue Suit":

Ralph: "I want you to know Alice that it was pretty lonely around here without you."

Trixie: "Aw Ed, why don't you ever talk to me like that?"

Ed: "I would be very happy too if you only go away once in a while."

"Hero Part 1":

Ed: "When we are playing stickball, why am I always chosen first to be on somebody's team?"

Ralph: "Because you are the only one that will get the ball when it goes down the sewer."

"$99,000 Answer":

Ralph: "$600.00. Peanuts, peanuts, what am I gonna do with peanuts??"

Alice: "Eat'em like an other elephant."

"The Prowler":

Ed: "I came by to tell you to put some stuff up against the door."

Ralph: "Thank you but I have already done that."

"Without Reservations":

(Everyone is in the broken-down hotel.)

Ralph: "We can knock down those cobwebs."

Alice: "I wouldn't do that Ralph. They are holding up the wall."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

Ralph: "Talk is cheap."

Alice: "It must be or you would have never opened your mouth."