View Full Version : Episode Reviews: “Ralph’s Big Mouth” (aka “M.Y.O.B.”) & “Alice & The Blonde”:


Frank Gannucci
02-08-2008, 08:41 AM
Episode #126
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Better Living Through TV."
DVD: Attached to episodes #32 - #39 of the classic 39 along with bonus features like the original opening and closing and an edited Honeymooners Special that aired in 1990 that was hosted by Audrey Meadows. This special originally had Lost Episode clips and since Paramount didn’t have the rights to air them, they edited them out.

This is the second of two episodes that for some reason were re-titled: "Ralph's Big Mouth." Why two different episodes share the same title is beyond me.

One night, Ralph & Ed are playing Gin Rummy. After Ed outsmarts Ralph and gets Gin, he says he now has 250,000 points. Ed: "That wasn't a blitz. That was a bloutz. You owe me 17 cents." Ralph wants to play one more game. Ed isn't in the mood. He is worried about not getting a promotion & raise down the sewer. He is afraid that they will give it to Cassidy who for the last few months or so, has been working under the sewer right underneath city hall. Ralph says that he could get the job if he wanted it. All he has to do is go to his boss and ask for the raise and promotion. If they don't give it to him, then he has to scare him. Ralph: "Tell them after 17 years in the sewer, you are washing your hands of the whole thing." Ralph wants to play one more game that will decide who really wins for tonight. Ed doesn't want to. Ed: "When you win, you yell and scream in anger." Blooper alert! Art should have said: "When I win..." Ralph promises that he won't yell and scream. Ed gets gin again. Ralph motions for him to get out. Ed: "I got to hand it to you Ralph. You didn't yell and scream, because you were very..." Ralph (yells): "OUT!"

The next day, Alice is home. Ed comes down. He has bad news. He tells Alice that after talking to his boss, Jim McKeever, he finds it impossible to work one more day down in that sewer. Alice: "What did he say to you?" Ed: "You're fired!" Ed doesn't know how to break it to Trixie he leaves. Ralph comes home. She said that Ed went to see his boss and asked for the promotion and said that if he didn't get it, he would quit. Alice is telling him how Ed got fired because he demanded a raise and she's outraged because "someone" gave Ed such bad advice. How did Alice know the reason he was fired? Ed didn't offer the information that she told Ralph. Looks like either Art forgot his lines or the moment that Ed told her the information was edited out. Ralph claims he doesn't know. Ed comes by again with flowers for Trixie just to soften the blow of the news before he tells her the news and spills the beans on how Ralph gave him the ill-fated advice about getting the promotion and raise. He goes upstairs. Alice is mad. Ralph: "You know if I told him anything, it was with the best of caring. I'll get that job back for him Alice. There isn't anything in this world that will stop me from going down that sewer tomorrow." Alice: "Oh no? There isn't a manhole in this city that you could fit through." Alice is fuming. Ralph says that we help them out any way they can. Trixie comes down. She is crying because Ed got fired. Alice says that the reason that Ed didn't come home at the usual time is because he was worried about how Trixie would take the news. Ed comes down. Trixie says that she heard the news and he will get a much better job. Ed kisses Trix and goes to buy back the flowers he was going to give to her. Trixie just learned about the flowers when Ed said he will go and buy them back.

Several days later, Trixie is with Alice in the Kramden's kitchen. She is worried that they have now eaten with them for several nights in a row now. Alice said that they shouldn't worry about imposing on them and if they can't pay their rent, they can move in with them. Trixie says this about Ed: "You can take the man out of the sewer but you can't take the sewer out of the man." Ed has just gotten a job as a steam iron salesman. Ed comes by. He claims that he had a big first day on the job. Alice leaves. Ed says that his first day on the job was a dark, dark day. Ed sold only one iron today and that was his last stop. Trixie: "That's very encouraging. Maybe after you talked with all those people, you finally got the right approach. Do you remember what you said?" Ed: "Sure I do. I said: 'Mama, you just got to buy this iron.'" That was to his mom. Tomorrow, it's Trixie's mom. The Nortons are starting to feel bad. They think they are imposing on the Kramdens. So, they think of an idea. Ed will say that his first day on the job will be dandy and the future will be bright for him. Ralph comes home. Ed tells him the news. Ed says that he made $40 today and had a really good day. Ralph is amazed. Ralph: "$40 a day!" The Nortons now say that the Kramdens won't have to worry about them anymore. Ralph says if the Spiffy Iron Company (the company that Ed works for is looking for anybody and if they are, could Ed recommend him.) Ed politely says that he can't because it's his first day on the job and politely says that some guys have it while others don't and he (Ed) has it. The Nortons leave. Ralph mikes out Nortons bill and tells Alice (who just came home after The Nortons left) what happened to Ed today and what he just told him. Ralph: "He was ungrateful to me after what I did for him. I got him fired from his sewer job." Alice tries to speak some sense to Ralph. Alice: "You are no salesman." Ralph: "When I was a kid, I sold more lemonade on the block than anyone else." Alice: "Okay, the next hot day we have, I will make you a picture of lemonade and you can go outside and sell it." Alice says that today Ed may have made $40 but tomorrow Ed may make less and with Ralph's job, he knows what he will get paid every week and he is due for a raise and promotion. Ralph says that tomorrow, he will go down to the Spiffy-Iron Company, fill out an application, go to the bus company to report for work and tell his boss, Mr. Marshall, that he just got an offer for a better job and that he will have to leave the company. With that, Mr. Marshall will give him the raise and promotion, since he can't afford to have Ralph quit. Ralph: "It's called the ol' squeeze play. I am going to squeeze Mr. Marshall. He's in now position to squeeze me." Alice: "Of course not. He can't even get his arms around you."

The next day, Ralph comes home with an iron and application from the Spiffy-Iron Company. He pulled the squeeze play, but Mr. Marshall says that a raise and promotion are out of the question and Ralph said that he wouldn't dream of leaving the company and is staying. Ed comes in. He just got his sewer job back and quit his salesman job. He said that he didn't do well as an iron salesman and explained that because he and Trixie felt bad because they thought that they were imposing on them and made up the story on how Ed was doing so well. Ed thanks them for all their help and starts to cry. He leaves. Ralph demonstrates the new iron that he got and how it will make Alice's job easier. He plugs it in. Ralph: "You will be amazed at the simplicity of its operation." The iron explodes. Ha! With that, the episode ends.

Episode #127
TV: Half-hour.
VCR: Attached to "Hello Mom."
DVD: Attached to episodes #32 - #39 of the classic 39 along
with bonus features like the original opening and closing and an edited Honeymooners Special that aired in 1990 that was hosted by Audrey Meadows. This special originally had Lost Episode clips and since Paramount didn’t have the rights to air them, they edited them out.

Ralph & Ed come home very late from a Raccoon Lodge meeting and they are afraid of the fact that their wives would be angry with them that they stayed out late. Ed wants to go home by way of the fire escape. The window is closed and since they think the wives are asleep, they try to be as quiet as possible. Even when Ralph's finger gets hurt by opening the window, he mouths the pain and tries not to scream. Finally the window is open and Ed leaves but not before he warns Ralph of rain. Ralph turns off the light and quietly marches to the bedroom. Alice stops him in his tracks. D'oh! Alice turns the lights on. Alice: "Ralph, do you know what time it is?" Ralph: "Yeah, it's a little after 11." Alice: "About 3 hours after 11." Alice is steamed because she thinks that Ralph has been having fun with the fellows all night long. Ralph: "That shows you how much you know. It just so happens that the Raccoon Lodge is in a financial crisis and I'm the treasurer Alice. I'm responsible. Do you know what happens if the Lodge doesn't get any money, The Bensonhurst chapter of the Raccoon Lodge may no longer exist. Do you know what that means?" Alice: "Yeah, real estate in Bensonhurst will go up 100%." Alice is also furious because Ralph doesn't spend any nights alone with her. She goes back into the bedroom. Ed comes down. He tried to get into his window but when he saw Trixie with a frying pan, ready to hit Ed for being out so late, he came back here. Ralph mentions the argument that he and Alice just had and is saying no matter what, he is meeting Burt Wedemeyer (a traffic manager at the bus depot) to discuss him being promoted to traffic manager. He then thinks of an idea. He & Ed will bring the wives over to Burt's house tomorrow. Trixie comes in and then Ralph brings Alice out. Ed says that he & Ralph were wrong coming home late all of these days. Ralph apologizes too and says: "We are all taking you out to Burt Wedemower's house tomorrow night." Alice: "Who's Burt Wedemeyer?" That's right, Jackie said: "Wedemower's" rather then "Wedemeyer" and Audrey caught it in her reply. The boys say they are going to bed. Ralph goes into the bedroom and Ed goes upstairs. The girls sit down and immediately they know what the boys are up too so tomorrow night, they will dress as sexy as possible to attract the boys. Ed comes down with some news. The door is locked so he asks Trixie to follow him up the fire escape. They leave.

The next day at Burt's apartment, Mrs. Wedemeyer (whose off-camera) asks Burt to open the door. He does and it's the Kramdens and Nortons. The studio audience gives them an ovation even though they saw them earlier in the episode. Burt takes their coats and Ed's hats. The boys look around the house as the girls stay in the living room and complain that their plan has flopped. The boys haven't noticed how good they look yet, but then they think because they put their coats on so quickly, the boys didn't notice them. The boys go back into the living room (which the front door is located) and compliment Burt on what a great place he has (they mention that there's a room for playing cards). Ed says: "There's one word I can describe for this place and that's 'Suave.'" The girls now have their coats off, revealing their sexy attire, but the boys don't notice. Everyone is introduced to Burt's wife, Rita. She looks great. The boys are mesmerized by her, much to the wives chagrin. Everyone is still calling themselves Mr. or Mrs., so Burt says that we should call each other by their first name. Rita says that that is strange because he and she have pet names for each other. Ralph says that that is great. Rita says that if Alice wants to have a pet name for Ralph, all she has to do is pick out her husband's outstanding feature. Alice agrees and calls Ralph 'Tubby.'" Rita: "'Tubby'? That is such a darling name. I like it." Ed: "The boys down at the pool room will love it." Ralph & Ed then compliment Rita some more, much to the wives chagrin. Burt then hands out snacks to everyone, then a cookie falls off by accident after bumping into the coffee table and to cover up for it, Norton says "Leave it there-the cat will get it!" (Despite the fact that Burt never said he owned a cat). Ralph thought what Ed said was funny. During this scene, Rita reveals what kind of person she is. She lets Burt do all the real work, while she spends time at the beauty parlor. In other words, she is taking advantage of him. Burt & Rita then let Ralph & Ed take a look at the kitchen. Rita: "Your husband Alice certainly is a trea-sure." Rita goes into the kitchen. Alice: "A trea-sure? He keeps this up and he is going to be a BURIED trea-sure." Alice & Trixie can't stand being here any longer, so Alice makes a plan. She will complain that she has a headache and ask that the boys leave with them. The boys come out and Alice complains of a headache and wants to leave. Ralph: "When she gets home Trixie, send her to bed." Alice says that we are all leaving. Burt: "We must do this again sometime." Ralph: "How about tomorrow night?" Alice motions Ralph as if to say "no." They leave as Ralph compliments Burt some more. Ralph so wants to be a traffic manager.

The next day after work, Ralph comes home. Alice comes out acting just like Rita did. Ralph is not amused and demands to know what is going on, but Alice says that nothing is going on and passionately kisses Ralph. She goes back into the bedroom and says: "I won't be gone long 'Killer.' I call you 'Killer' because you slay me!" When CBS FOX video released the Classic 39 on VHS, they wrote a classic line from each episode and put it on the package. Every classic line had either Ralph or Ed saying something, but this is one episode where they had Alice saying: "I call you 'Killer' because you slay me!" Ralph's yells: "AND I'M CALLING BELLVUE BECAUSE YOU'RE NUTS!" Alice comes back out and says that she is trying to be the woman Ralph admires. She saw how he reacted around Rita last night and is upset by it. One of the reasons is because Rita doesn't care for Burt and takes advantage of him. Ralph responds by saying that he doesn't like Rita and the only reason why he reacted the way he did around Rita is so he can get promoted. Alice says that explains it but she doesn't know why Ralph doesn't go nuts over her for all these years. She wants to know why. Ralph says that the reason is that he's a moax. He apologizes and just like that, him and Alice kiss and make up. On an episode of "King of Queens" in 2001, Doug Heffernan (played by Kevin James who in real-life is a Honeymooners fan) goes to sleep and dreams that he is in Ralph's role and his wife, Carrie (played by Leah Remini) is in Alice's role and they almost reenact the final moments of this scene (except the storyline in Doug's dream is that he lied to Carrie and Carrie found out about it and got mad at Doug.)

Credit goes to honeymooners.net & Bill Mooners Archives.