George to Carmen, who is in trouble: "You're so grounded, coffee would look at you and say, DAMN!!" :rofl:

Benny (really drunk): "I don't deserve to be conscious right now." (passes out)

Max to the sex offender: "What happens down the block, stays down the block."

George once referred to Randy dating Benny as "robbing the casket." :rofl:

George to Carmen, who is in trouble: "You're so grounded, coffee would look at you and say, DAMN!!" :rofl:

Benny (really drunk): "I don't deserve to be conscious right now." (passes out)

Max to the sex offender: "What happens down the block, stays down the block."

George once referred to Randy dating Benny as "robbing the casket." :rofl:



I just heard one funny quote from George the other night when Max had a crush on his cousin.



"Max you are dyslexic and she is your first cousin, if you were to marry her and have kids me and your mom would have to pay $2.00 to see our grandchildren at the carnival"



LOL

So many of them...a few off the top of my head:

Ernie drooling over George's niece (or was it Eva Longoria?), George says, "Beat it, Rosie O'Donnell"

An old man drooling over Angie in the seniors bus, George says "keep it in the pants, Orville Redenbacher."

Benny finds out that George set up her boyfriend when he was kid, and made it look like he was cheating on her. Jerry Springer played the boyfriend. Benny told George that he ruined her chances for a life long love.

George says to Angie that he wanted to console Benny, "I'll tell her that she'll find someone. She's a 50-something, cranky, chain-smoking....I'll just lie to her."

George called his mother an evil penguin, or was it a nasty penguin? Either way, it was very funny.

He offered Richard Lewis, who was playing a psychiatrist, 50 bucks to figure out why Max won't let his green beans touch his mashed potatoes. :lol: That episode was a scream. It was hilarious when George drove Lewis crazy, telling him all his issues with his mother, and how Lewis had his feet on his desk and looked like he was going insane. :crazy:

My favorite is George saying they should drop Benny in Tijuana dressed in a Pikachu costume with a stick, as if she were a pinata LOL!

I know these aren't specific lines, but the things i love most about the lopez show is when he has flash backs and it shows his head on a little kids body. He makes all of those crazy faces acting surprised and licking his lips. I also love the magic worm episodes and that episode where he is alone for christmas and finds himself in the after school special as a puppet.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I know these aren't specific lines, but the things i love most about the lopez show is when he has flash backs and it shows his head on a little kids body. He makes all of those crazy faces acting surprised and licking his lips.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh that's one of my favorite parts too!!! :lol:

I also love when he imitates Vick and his accent!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

This is from the episode when Benny found out she had the clap:

Benny: (to a crying Angie) What's the matter sweethart? You put on half a pound?
Angie: (sniff) Benny, that hurt....but at least it doesn't burn.

That cracked me up!

Benny (to Angie): "...make you drop your panties for a candy cane." George (sarcastic): "Ho, ho, ho."

Vic: (To George) What's with all this smoke in here? That little girl from Kansas dump water on your mother?


That was one of the best lines ever! LOL!

Here is one of mine


George: "Max I don't want you going out with that girl man she's nasty"

Max: "I like Nasty"



LOL-LOL

Not a quote, but it's a riot the way George acts as if he's going to vomit, usually concerning something about Benny.

Not a quote, but it's a riot the way George acts as if he's going to vomit, usually concerning something about Benny.


Yeah and the one time he did is she said

"Life would be so easier if I had something dingling between my legs"


lol

From the scene when Veronica hustles George, Ernie, Benny and Vic in poker.

Veronica: You can learn to poker Uncle George. Just go to the website and click on "be-gi-nner"

Veronica goes upstairs.

George: You need to go to the website and click on "smart a** niece who is homeless."

From the scene when Veronica hustles George, Ernie, Benny and Vic in poker.

Veronica: You can learn to poker Uncle George. Just go to the website and click on "be-gi-nner"

Veronica goes upstairs.

George: You need to go to the website and click on "smart a** niece who is homeless."



I saw that ep for the first time last night-lol

I saw it for the second time last night when you did. LOL. "Veto!" LOL.

Another...

Benny: You can't make me quit (smoking). I know my rights.
George: I know. You've had them read to you every new years since I was seven!

George to Benny: "Hallmark just doesn't make cards for our family."

Benny: George, are you crying?
George: Are you shrinking?

Angie and George discuss how they will tell Max that his dog is dying.

Angie: We have to find a way to tell Max.
George: I'll just use the speech that I was gonna use for my mother's funeral. (smiling happily) "Folks, the reason why I'm drinking champagne is..."

Benny: Smoke or talk to Angie? Let's see both will shorten my life...(looking at cigarettes) These help pay the tax for school...I'll go with these.