"I pay nearly a million a year in taxes. I've got to keep working--I support the
government."

"I've been asked to run for President of the United States, but my wife doesn't want to move to a smaller house."

"Bing Crosby doesn't pay a regular income tax. He just calls up the Secretary of the Treasury each year and asks: 'How much do you boys need?'"

"Thomas Jefferson said: 'Never spend your money before you have it.' That's
one quote my wife has never heard."

"The U.S.O. has given me things that will stay with me for the rest of my life,
my doctors tell me."

"When word got out that we had 10 girls with us, a squadron of fellas flew out
to meet us--and some of them even had planes."

"I was having dinner in a tent city in Saudi Arabia and I told the boys it wasn't
the first time I'd eaten in hostile places. I ate in Phyllis Diller's kitchen once and saw a roach eating Tums."

"NBC's peacock was hatched from an egg I laid."

"It's amazing how many people see you on TV. I did my first show a month ago and the next day five million TV sets were sold. The people who couldn't
sell theirs threw them away."

"I love Milton Berle. I love to sit home and watch him on TV and see how my
jokes are doing."

"You take other people's money when you're dressed like a bum, it's called
begging. You take people's money when you're well-dressed, it's called
Congress."

"A member of my staff asked me when I was going to retire. I told him when I
can no longer hear the sound of laughter. He said, 'That never stopped you
before.'"

Thanks for the laughs, Bob was cool.

Bob was one of a kind!!! :)

Bob Hope was a great comedian and patriot. I loved his energy and the devotion he had to our troops. He was a wonderful man and talent. And BTW, had one of the longest, if not the longest, marriage in Hollywood to his beloved Dolores.

Thanks for this thread!!!

You're welcome. Bob was, is, and always will be my favorite comedian. He
was one of a kind.

Absolutely, he was a terrific man! Not to mention witty and funny.