"You see, to be a straight man you have to have a talent, you have to develop this talent, then you gotta marry her like I did."
-- George Burns, The George Burns & Gracie Allen Show

"You ate my homework? I didn't know dogs really did that."
-- Bart Simpson (to Santa's Little Helper), The Simpsons

"Kelsey Grammer sets the tone of kindness, but there are times we all know
that the dog is the real star."
-- Frasier's Peri Gilpin

"Even if I did get past all my problems, I'm just gonna get out and get new ones."
-- Ally McBeal, Ally McBeal

"What's the point of having a democracy if everybody's going to vote wrong?"
-- Dick Solomon, 3rd Rock from the Sun

"I haven't changed. I still have my assistant put my pants on one leg at a
time like everybody else."
-- The King of Queens' Kevin James

"I think I'm getting better. At least I haven't been getting any more letters
telling me to get off my own program."
-- Ed Sullivan

"When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it."
-- Jack Benny

"I don't have anything against education--as long as it doesn't interfere with
your thinking!"
-- Ben Cartwright, Bonanza

"If this series goes five years, I will be 33 and rich. Then I can stop and do
something I'd enjoy more. I want to be a schoolteacher."
-- I Spy's Bill Cosby

"There are no holidays in the fight against evil."
-- Maxwell Smart, Get Smart

"The way some of the younger generation carries on, some people wish that
they'd develop a birth control pill that was retroactive."
-- Milton Berle, Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In

"In the education of the American people, I am Recess."
-- Laverne & Shirley producer Garry Marshall

"I just thank God I'm an atheist."
-- Mike Stivic, All in the Family

"Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
-- David Banner, The Incredible Hulk

"I would say the biggest change for Columbo between now and the '70s is
that it's tougher for him to find an ashtray."
-- Peter Falk (1990)

Angel: "The Gateway for Lost Souls...is under the post office?"
Allen Francis Doyle: "It makes sense, if you think about it."
Angel

"You want to know the future, Miss Lane? No one works, no one argues, there
are 9,000 channels and nothing on!"
-- Tempus, Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman

"I just thank God I'm an atheist."
-- Mike Stivic, All in the FamilyMike Stivic is a self-described agnostic. From what episode does the quote come from?

Mike Stivic is a self-described agnostic. From what episode does the quote come from?

Not sure, Zebra 3. It's a quote from the book TV Guide: Celebrating an
Icon (2006, pg. 107).

Mike Stivic is a self-described agnostic. From what episode does the quote come from?

No he's an atheist. In one episode, he said he didn't see any proof of God's exsistense. Not sure which one, but he said it.

Not sure, Zebra 3. It's a quote from the book TV Guide: Celebrating an
Icon (2006, pg. 107).Thanks. It's a great line, but to me it sounds a bit out of character, which is something the All in the Family characters usually never do.

No he's an atheist. In one episode, he said he didn't see any proof of God's exsistense. Not sure which one, but he said it.The line would still be consistent with an agnostic which I know for certain he described himself as, it was Archie who would call him an atheist among other things.