tv star collector
12-12-2007, 07:37 PM
I just realized that this is my 1,947th post ... the significance being that 1947
is the year in which I was born!
Considering that I only joined this forum about two years ago, that tells me one thing: I really need to get a life! :lol:
As some of you already know, I'm going to have leave this forum soon for a while. There's an old show business adage that says, "Always leave 'em laughing." So, with that in mind, here's a few of "the funnies" ...
TEACHER: Did you scold your little boy for mimicking me?
MOTHER: Yes, I told him not to act like a fool!
FATHER: Now, Junior, be good while I'm away.
JUNIOR: Okay, Pop. I'll be good for a quarter.
FATHER: Why, son, when I was your age I was good for nothing.
From a Newport, Washington newspaper:
Mrs. Park and Mrs. Stone were in Seattle last Monday shoplifting for
Christmas.
From a Gettysburg, Pennsylvania paper:
Blend sugar, flour and salt. Add egg and milk, cook until creamy in double
boiler. Stir frequently. Add rest of ingredients. Mix well, serve chilled.
Funeral services will be held Thursday afternoon at 2 o'clock.
From the Rochester Times Union, an ad for a radio program:
Hear Mr. Blank. The complete dope on the weather.
From the New England Press come these little gems:
Weight Watchers will meet Tuesday at 7 p.m. in the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
The sewer expansion project is nearing completion, but officials are holding
their breath until it is officially finished.
The ladies of the county medical society auxiliary plan to publish a cookbook.
Part of the money will go to the Samaritan Hospital to purchase a stomach
pump.
The ball struck him in the right temple and knocked him cold. He was taken to
Sacred Heart Hospital where X-rays of his head showed nothing.
The bride was wearing an old lace gown that fell to the floor as she came down the aisle.
Celebrities aren't immune to saying stupid things. To wit:
"If Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave." -- Gerald Ford
"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." -- Gerald Ford again
"Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore. It's too crowded." -- Yogi Berra
And, last but not least, here's another one of the stupidest things ever said:
"Your medical assistance is cancelled beginning 9/24/84 because of your
death." -- Iowa Department of Human Services letter
is the year in which I was born!
Considering that I only joined this forum about two years ago, that tells me one thing: I really need to get a life! :lol:
As some of you already know, I'm going to have leave this forum soon for a while. There's an old show business adage that says, "Always leave 'em laughing." So, with that in mind, here's a few of "the funnies" ...
TEACHER: Did you scold your little boy for mimicking me?
MOTHER: Yes, I told him not to act like a fool!
FATHER: Now, Junior, be good while I'm away.
JUNIOR: Okay, Pop. I'll be good for a quarter.
FATHER: Why, son, when I was your age I was good for nothing.
From a Newport, Washington newspaper:
Mrs. Park and Mrs. Stone were in Seattle last Monday shoplifting for
Christmas.
From a Gettysburg, Pennsylvania paper:
Blend sugar, flour and salt. Add egg and milk, cook until creamy in double
boiler. Stir frequently. Add rest of ingredients. Mix well, serve chilled.
Funeral services will be held Thursday afternoon at 2 o'clock.
From the Rochester Times Union, an ad for a radio program:
Hear Mr. Blank. The complete dope on the weather.
From the New England Press come these little gems:
Weight Watchers will meet Tuesday at 7 p.m. in the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
The sewer expansion project is nearing completion, but officials are holding
their breath until it is officially finished.
The ladies of the county medical society auxiliary plan to publish a cookbook.
Part of the money will go to the Samaritan Hospital to purchase a stomach
pump.
The ball struck him in the right temple and knocked him cold. He was taken to
Sacred Heart Hospital where X-rays of his head showed nothing.
The bride was wearing an old lace gown that fell to the floor as she came down the aisle.
Celebrities aren't immune to saying stupid things. To wit:
"If Lincoln were alive today, he'd roll over in his grave." -- Gerald Ford
"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." -- Gerald Ford again
"Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore. It's too crowded." -- Yogi Berra
And, last but not least, here's another one of the stupidest things ever said:
"Your medical assistance is cancelled beginning 9/24/84 because of your
death." -- Iowa Department of Human Services letter