"Pal O' Mine":

(Ed is giving a ring to Jim McKeever as a presnet for being named foreman.)

Alice: "Why don't you get the store to gift wrap this ring for you?"

Ed: "They got a silly rule down there. 'No gift-wrapping for any purchase under $3.'"

"The Sleepwalker":

Ralph: "Don't you care if I waste away?"

Alice: "Sure I do Ralph. But you wouldn't waste away if you stayed awake for 9 years."

"$99,000 Answer":

Alice's Mom: "I hope you get to the $99,000 answer."

Ralph: "Well, I have to admit it Alice. Every now and then, your mother has common sense."

Alice's Mom: "I would like to see the expression on your face when you miss it."

"The Next Champ":

(Ed accidentally causes Ralph to miss his shot at pool. Ralph comes over and hits Ed's foto with a pool cue.)

Ed: "Ow!"

(Ed hits Ralph's foot with a pool cue.)

Ralph (yells): "OWW!"

"The Next Champ":

Mr. Armstrong: "I got six guys in my stable. I can make room for a heavyweight."

Ed: "He must have a biger kitchen than you Ralph."

"Love Letter":

(Ralph found out that Trixie is giving him a belt.)

Ralph: "A belt. Pretty small gift."

Alice: "Not with what you have to wrap it around."

"Flushing Ho":

Ralph: "'Ralph, I want the ice box painted.' 'I want a curtain for the bedroom window.' Why do we need a curtain for the bedroom window? All you see is a brick wall. You are not married to Nelson Rockefeller."

Alice: "I got news for you Ralph. You are not married to Happy either."

"Flushing Ho":

(The Kramdens & Nortons are in their new apartment.)

Ralph: "We are used to much better."

Ed: "We lost a lot of money in the Mentilated Dental Floss Crash."

"Sees All, Knows All":

Ralph: "I'm a murderer."

Ed: "Look at the bright side. If you do commit a murder, the worst thing you will get is life in prison."