"The Bensonhurst Bomber":

George: "Gee fellas, we were already to play. Me and Harvey just went to get a cold drink."

Ralph: "Well, I hope it was pretty cold and I hope it was milk."

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

Mr. Mosby: "I am going to do for you what I did for my mom when she wanted a cottage."

Ed: "You are going to buy one for us?"

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

Ed: "The door is busted."

Alice: "Ed, don't be ridiculous. This is a dutch door."

Ed: "Boy those dutch people must be very short."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

(Trixie & Ed enter into the pool room. Ralph & Alice are already in the pool room. Ralph and Ed are in the middle of a fight.)

Ralph: "I didn't know anything escaped from the zoo today."

Ed: "If it was an elephant, I can tell them where to look."

"Without Reservations":

(Ralph and Ed are in the run-down hotel.)

Ralph: "Would you stop with the wisecracks Norton? When the girls get here I wanna make a good impression!"

Ed: "If you wanna make a good impression, keep the door shut!"

"Box Top Kid Part One":

Trixie: "Ed believes that before you go to Europe, you should see a bit of America first. So we made a list. So far this year, we have scratched off Bayoone, Yonkers & Scranton."

Alice: "What are you going to scratch off this year?"

Trixie: "I would like to scratch off Norton."

"The Golfer":

Ralph: "I deserve that promotion, Norton - I worked hard to get it! Just because Mr. Harper doesn't know I'm alive I'm not going to get the promotion, huh? Well, it's the same ol' story: its not what you know, its who you know! If you don't have any connections you're dead. You can be the smartest guy in the world, know everything about everything, know the encyclopedia backwards and forwards. But, If you don't have any connections you get nowhere."

Ed: "Now wait a minute, I don't think that applies to every case. I didn't have any connections when I got my job in the sewer."

"Love Letter":

(Ralph and Mrs. Paterson think that Ed loves Alice but the feeling isn't matual.)

Mrs. Paterson: "Why don't you give your wife the benefit of a doubt?"

Ralph: "All right, maybe they don't love each other but if they do, they are going to have a lot of fun on the moon."

"Operation: Protest":

(Cliff just cost Ralph his job. Ralph confronts Cliff.)

Cliff (showing the peace symbol with his hand): "Peace!"

Ralph (grabbing the other finger): "Alice, grab the other finger and make a wish."