What was your favorite of Tim's nicknames for Al introducing him to the Tool Time audience? I have two:

"You all know my assistant, Al "what's the point of having a weekend?" Borland!"

and

"You all know my assistant, Al "this land is" Borland!"

:lol: :rofl: :brent

I hated when they dropped that gag after the first few seasons. It wasn't as much fun when Tim stopped dogging Al so much. :(

"You all know my assistant, Rump-Al-stiltskin!"

"And you all know my assistant Homosexu-Al Borland!"

"You all know my ass is tan! ....t, Al Borland!

"You all know my ass bore some land, Al right."

"You all know my assistant, Al **** you borland."

(during cooking week): "and you all know my side dish, Al Borland."

(during salute to toilets): "and you all know my assistant, Al 'it's my potty and I'll cry if I want to' Borland"

(during salute to safety, Al is wearing a helmet) "and you all know my assistant, Al 'Objects keep falling on my head' Borland."

(during Siding week) "and you all know my assitant, Al 'thorn in my siding' borland"

^ :rofl: I'd forgotten those! Great catch.

My 2 favorites were probably Al "this is land is" Borland like you mentioned Monika, and from the series finale, Al "be doing infomercials for a living" Borland :lol:

Al was one of my favorites. I loved him and his flannel fetish. :lol:

Al was one of my favorites. I loved him and his flannel fetish. :lol:

What HI fan didn't love Al? I agree that it was much funnier when Tim was "making fun of" Al. They stopped it too early in the series.

What HI fan didn't love Al? I agree that it was much funnier when Tim was "making fun of" Al. They stopped it too early in the series.
I think one of the dumbest things in HI's run was to break up Al and Ilene. They were perfect for each other. Who didn't love Al's mom - the enormous woman we never saw? :lol:

I think one of the dumbest things in HI's run was to break up Al and Ilene. They were perfect for each other. Who didn't love Al's mom - the enormous woman we never saw? :lol:

Oh, I definitely agree. I liked Ilene, and she was a great match for Al. I think the problem was that they introduced her too early in the show's run. They had them date for a few years, eventually get engaged, but the problem was, they couldn't have Al married in season 6 - the fun was that he was a single guy. Too bad Al couldn't have married Ilene instead of the girl he did marry in the series finale.

Yeah, Al's mom was great. Tim made the greatest cracks at her - that's another thing they quit doing that I always loved.

Remember when Tim held up Al's mom's GIGANTIC bra on a Tool Time episode? I think I actually choked on the pop I was drinking when that was originally on. :rofl: What I liked most (and still do) about HI was that it left so much to the imagination. You never actually saw Al's mom, Doc Johnson or the McGerns. They were so larger than life that they couldn't POSSIBLY be seen. :lol:

Too bad Al couldn't have married Ilene instead of the girl he did marry in the series finale.

Her name was Trudy.

Her name was Trudy.
Yeah, I remember her. Too bad they couldn't have brought back Ilene. :( :mad:

Yeah, I remember her. Too bad they couldn't have brought back Ilene. :( :mad:
Al and Ilene were perfect for each other. He should have married her.

Here's another good one - "You all know my assistant, Al 'I Live For Bingo' Borland!!!!" :lol:

How could have I forgotten: "You all know my assistant, Al 'I Wish I Could Be Tim Taylor' Borland"? :lol: There was also a nice turnabout when Al guest-hosted Irma's cooking show with Tim assisting: "I'm Al 'The Food Man' Borland, and you all know my assistant, Tim 'Doesn't Know Gumbo From Dumbo' Taylor!" :lol:

"Al here comes the groom Borland" in the episode called "Something Old Someone Blue" in season 6

:bump

In the "Longest Day" episode, which was the Randy throat cancer scare one, Tim was obviously in a serious mood, so he just gave the standard "And you all know my assistant Al Borland". Al was caught off guard that he asked Tim why no insult today and went on a long tirade about it, culminating in him saying "Why don't you just come right out and say it, my mother is a big, fat cow." :lol: tim replied: "Goodness, gracious Al." That scene was hilarous, with Al getting upset for no reason.

^ :rofl: That was hilarious. Richard Karn's delivery was priceless.

My 2 favorites were probably Al "this is land is" Borland like you mentioned Monika, and from the series finale, Al "be doing infomercials for a living" Borland :lol:

The sad thing is, Richard Karn really *is* doing infomercials nowadays. Anybody see him hawk "The Pocket Hose" lately? I just cringed. At least he wasn't *playing* with his pocket hose. :lol:

That's a bummer. I do know that he recently guested on Tim's show Last Man Standing. I also liked him as the host of Family Feud - he was a lot better than Louie Anderson!!

In the "Longest Day" episode, which was the Randy throat cancer scare one, Tim was obviously in a serious mood, so he just gave the standard "And you all know my assistant Al Borland". Al was caught off guard that he asked Tim why no insult today and went on a long tirade about it, culminating in him saying "Why don't you just come right out and say it, my mother is a big, fat cow." :lol: tim replied: "Goodness, gracious Al." That scene was hilarous, with Al getting upset for no reason.
Actually, that was from S3, where Randy was resentful of his dad always acting like a goofball on his show (called it "Fool Time") and Tim tried to be serious. The name of the episode is "This Joke's For You" and here's the exchange:

Tim: Thank you, I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor and you all know my assistant, Al... Borland.

Al: What's the matter, no stupid middle name? Is it my birthday?

Tim: We don't always have to joke around, you know, this isn't Fool Time.

[Tim tries to conduct Tool Time without jokes, after Randy calls him a clown]

Al: Oh, I see. That wasn't in the plans either. While this buzzer sends thousands of volts coursing through my body while he stands back and says, "Remember the AL-amo". Then comes the uncalled for slams against my mother. How she shops in the *husky* section. How she cleared out the all-you-can-eat buffet. Just go ahead say it...

[shouting]

Al: ...my mother is a big fat cow.

Tim: [after pause] Goodness gracious, Al.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0603568/quotes

You are correct. I just watched parts of "The Longest Day" again and it wasn't in there. But it did have something similar: Al accusing Tim of putting on a boring show.

And yes, Richard was better than Louie Anderson, who looked totally disinterested in doing that show.

But wait...there's more!!!

I'm Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. And of course, you all know my assistant, "He eats, therefore he is" Al Borland.

Al "I can't find a better job" Borland.

Al "Table For One" Borland.

Al "The Bad Seed" Borland.

Al "Stand By My Toolman" Borland.

Al "The Reason I Got the Blues" Borland.

Al "The Most Sensitive Guy in the World" Borland.

You all know my assistant, Al "Nino" Borland!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Al "Table For One" Borland.

Tim followed that up with "Unless Al's eating with his mother, then it's "Table for Seven" :lol:

Tim followed that up with "Unless Al's eating with his mother, then it's "Table for Seven" :lol:
:rofl: I'd forgotten that part.

Here's one from one of the later seasons - Tool Time is on location from some random bathroom, Tim mentions they'll be redoing a bathtub:

"And speaking of tubs, you all know my assistant, Al Borland"

Forgive me if this line has already been brought up, but one time Tim said, "You all know my assistant, Al "table for one" Borland." :D :D :D

God bless you always!!! :) :) :)

Holly

Here is a sample:
1. Al "light a match" Borland (The First Temptation of Tim)
2. Al "here comes the groom" Borland (Something Old Someone Blue)