Sean Snow
11-22-2001, 08:08 PM
"One Garrett to Hope For"
A Late Sixth Season Fan Fiction (Wayyy Into the Sixth Season, Right After Andy Is Introduced In It)
INT.-Edna's Edibles-Store Room (The One Where the Clear Door Says 'Edna's Edibles')
[Edna is Humming as She Cleans Off the Counter]
Edna: [Stops Humming and Quietly Sings] You take the good....you take the....sad? No...No..No! You take the bad!
[Jo Enters]
Jo: Mrs.G, what are you singing?
Edna: Oh, I'm making up a song!
Jo: About what?
Edna: I don't know...I guess about the facts of life!
[Andy Enters Through Door]
Andy: Hey Mrs.G! Jo! What are you two doing?
Jo: Mrs.G's singing an X Rated Song!
Edna: Jo! I stopped doing that a long time ago. After Mr.Garrett lost his first $2,000 from the bookie! [Laughs]
[A Woman (Played By Ann Meara Enters)]
Edna: May I help you?
Woman: Edna?
Edna: Yes, this is Edna.
Woman: It's me, Ann!
Edna: Ann who?
Ann: Ann Garrett!
Edna: That sounds familiar....what are you here for?
Ann: I'm your grandmother's sister's son's daughter! So I'm your distant cousin!
Edna: That's right! You called Raymond when you couldn't find my number!
Ann: Well....it's so nice to meet you! [Shakes Edna's Hand, then Notices Jo and Andy] Who are these two?
Edna: Oh! This is Jo Polinchez and Andy Moffet!
Jo: It's nice to meet ya.
Andy: Yeah, it's nice to meet you.
Ann: Are these your children?
Edna: No. Andy drops by everyone once in a while to help around the shop, and Jo boards here. She attends Langley.
Ann: Oh! Are these all the people who drop by here regularly?
Edna: No! I have three more girls, Tootie Ramsey-
Ann: Tootie?
[Tootie Comes In From Outside]
Tootie: Hey everyone!
Ann: Is this Tootie?
Tootie: That's me! But you can call me Dorothy!
Ann: Why do they call you Tootie?
Tootie: Because that's the way I am! I have to go do homework! [Tootie Starts Walking While Singing] Tata, Tootie, don't cry.......
Ann: Who are the other two?
Edna: Blair Warner and Natalie Green.
Ann: And where are they?
Edna: In the living room, watching TV. Why don't you go in there and meet them while I close the shop?
Ann: I'll do that.
INT.-Edna's Edibles-Living Room
[Natalie and Blair are Watching TV, which is tuned to 'Main Hospital']
[Screen Closes Up On Screen]
Nurse: Dr.Briker, should I send him to the ER?
Dr.Briker: No, Nurse Boggs, Dr.Clooney is busy with his pathient George Witney out there.
Nurse: Then what will we do? Ryan's in a coma, William had a heart attack, and Jamie's bicycling through the Everglades while eating a hotdog!
[Screen Goes Off TV, To The Girls. Ann Enters]
Blair: Oh, hello!
Ann: You must be Blair and Natalie!
Blair: The one and only!
Ann: Only what?
Blair: Blair!
Ann: I'm a relative of your Ms. Garrett.
Blair: Oh, really! [To Nat] Nat, why aren't you saying anything?
[Nat Keeps Stareing at the TV]
Ann: Oh, you're watching 'Main Hospital'...can I change it to 'One World to Hope For'?
Blair: Sure!
[Ann Takes Remote and Turns It]
Nat: [Out of a Daze] Huh?
Blair: Nat, Ms.Garrett's relative is going to watch 'One World to Hope For'!
Nat: But-
Blair: She's our guest!
Ann: Girls, excuse me, I need to go get a glass of water.
[Ann Exits]
Nat: That Garrett is going to pay!
----------------------------------------------------
I'll End It There For Now. I'll Post More Within the Next Three Days
------------------
Shirley: [Swedish Accent] Hello little girl! What a lovely dress you're wearing there!
Laverne: What the heck was that?
Shirley: It's Swedish! That's the way they talk in Swedin!
Laverne: They don't nod their heads up and down like that!
Shirley: Yes, they do, I'm telling ya! I've heard em!
Squigy: I would take my lady to a quiet place and [Bleep] her eyes out. I would take a huge bottle of honey and I'd [Bleep] all over her. Well, I must have gained 3 pounds that night, but it was worth every [Bleep] glob!
Sonny: Is that your TV, or are they bleeping him?
Carmine: They're bleeping him alright! I know what he does with honey!
A Late Sixth Season Fan Fiction (Wayyy Into the Sixth Season, Right After Andy Is Introduced In It)
INT.-Edna's Edibles-Store Room (The One Where the Clear Door Says 'Edna's Edibles')
[Edna is Humming as She Cleans Off the Counter]
Edna: [Stops Humming and Quietly Sings] You take the good....you take the....sad? No...No..No! You take the bad!
[Jo Enters]
Jo: Mrs.G, what are you singing?
Edna: Oh, I'm making up a song!
Jo: About what?
Edna: I don't know...I guess about the facts of life!
[Andy Enters Through Door]
Andy: Hey Mrs.G! Jo! What are you two doing?
Jo: Mrs.G's singing an X Rated Song!
Edna: Jo! I stopped doing that a long time ago. After Mr.Garrett lost his first $2,000 from the bookie! [Laughs]
[A Woman (Played By Ann Meara Enters)]
Edna: May I help you?
Woman: Edna?
Edna: Yes, this is Edna.
Woman: It's me, Ann!
Edna: Ann who?
Ann: Ann Garrett!
Edna: That sounds familiar....what are you here for?
Ann: I'm your grandmother's sister's son's daughter! So I'm your distant cousin!
Edna: That's right! You called Raymond when you couldn't find my number!
Ann: Well....it's so nice to meet you! [Shakes Edna's Hand, then Notices Jo and Andy] Who are these two?
Edna: Oh! This is Jo Polinchez and Andy Moffet!
Jo: It's nice to meet ya.
Andy: Yeah, it's nice to meet you.
Ann: Are these your children?
Edna: No. Andy drops by everyone once in a while to help around the shop, and Jo boards here. She attends Langley.
Ann: Oh! Are these all the people who drop by here regularly?
Edna: No! I have three more girls, Tootie Ramsey-
Ann: Tootie?
[Tootie Comes In From Outside]
Tootie: Hey everyone!
Ann: Is this Tootie?
Tootie: That's me! But you can call me Dorothy!
Ann: Why do they call you Tootie?
Tootie: Because that's the way I am! I have to go do homework! [Tootie Starts Walking While Singing] Tata, Tootie, don't cry.......
Ann: Who are the other two?
Edna: Blair Warner and Natalie Green.
Ann: And where are they?
Edna: In the living room, watching TV. Why don't you go in there and meet them while I close the shop?
Ann: I'll do that.
INT.-Edna's Edibles-Living Room
[Natalie and Blair are Watching TV, which is tuned to 'Main Hospital']
[Screen Closes Up On Screen]
Nurse: Dr.Briker, should I send him to the ER?
Dr.Briker: No, Nurse Boggs, Dr.Clooney is busy with his pathient George Witney out there.
Nurse: Then what will we do? Ryan's in a coma, William had a heart attack, and Jamie's bicycling through the Everglades while eating a hotdog!
[Screen Goes Off TV, To The Girls. Ann Enters]
Blair: Oh, hello!
Ann: You must be Blair and Natalie!
Blair: The one and only!
Ann: Only what?
Blair: Blair!
Ann: I'm a relative of your Ms. Garrett.
Blair: Oh, really! [To Nat] Nat, why aren't you saying anything?
[Nat Keeps Stareing at the TV]
Ann: Oh, you're watching 'Main Hospital'...can I change it to 'One World to Hope For'?
Blair: Sure!
[Ann Takes Remote and Turns It]
Nat: [Out of a Daze] Huh?
Blair: Nat, Ms.Garrett's relative is going to watch 'One World to Hope For'!
Nat: But-
Blair: She's our guest!
Ann: Girls, excuse me, I need to go get a glass of water.
[Ann Exits]
Nat: That Garrett is going to pay!
----------------------------------------------------
I'll End It There For Now. I'll Post More Within the Next Three Days
------------------
Shirley: [Swedish Accent] Hello little girl! What a lovely dress you're wearing there!
Laverne: What the heck was that?
Shirley: It's Swedish! That's the way they talk in Swedin!
Laverne: They don't nod their heads up and down like that!
Shirley: Yes, they do, I'm telling ya! I've heard em!
Squigy: I would take my lady to a quiet place and [Bleep] her eyes out. I would take a huge bottle of honey and I'd [Bleep] all over her. Well, I must have gained 3 pounds that night, but it was worth every [Bleep] glob!
Sonny: Is that your TV, or are they bleeping him?
Carmine: They're bleeping him alright! I know what he does with honey!