Pippa McKenna
11-04-2001, 06:33 PM
PLEASE NOTE: This will not exactly parody Rocky Horror, some music #'s will be cut.
CAST
Jo-Jo Weiss
Rick-Rick Majors
Blair-Dr.Blair M Warner
Natalie-Maroon
George-Random Job
Tootie-Paraguay
Mrs.Garrett-The House Motheroligist
Casey Clark-Casey Horror
Eddie-Andy
Boots St.Clair-Dr.Clair Scott
(To Sci FI/Double Feature, only 1 verse)
THE LIPS:Only 3 girls made it to season 2, and then there was a new cast. And new writers came up with absurd like plots,like sneaking into a bar. Then the ratings went up and the cast got lots of ridiculous sums of money. But in Season 8 the ratings draped, and this is what the critics said " This, Comedy-Single Feature, is going underneath. Let's replace it, with the Cosbys. The family, will increase our ra-a-tings.
(Jo's friend Jessie has gotten married)
J:It's great Jess finally got married. All her other boyfriends were scared by her.
R:Oh look Jo, she's throwing the bouquet!
J:Rick I'm not gonna-(cut off by running at the crowd) I GET IT OR YOUR FACES GET RIPPED!
R:Wow! (pause) Jo
J:Yeah Rick?
R:I thought it was skillful how you threaten to kill the women to get the bouquet.
(Dammit Janet)
R:The snow was deep but I plowed it
Phantoms:OH JO
R:Time's not my master let's blow it
P:Oh Jo
R:Don't tell me to shut my hole
P:Oh Jo
R:I've got one thing to say and that's Damn it Jo I'm in love w/ you! Here's my ring to prove I'm not a lier. There's one way love can grow for us. That's in be-e-tween us, Oh J-O-A-N-N-A I lo-o-ve you.
J:(not singing) It's better than Jess had, Rick, yada yada yada, let's go see the woman who got us together.
Housemother:When Jo and Rick went to a Dr.Clair Scott, little did they know they would be caught in a strange adventure.
R:Jo what did that sign say?
J:Beats me. Did you check everything in the car?
R:Yeah, except(POP) the tires.
J:Rick you-(goes out) It's flat!
R:Let's go up to that house!
THE MANSION
Random:My name is Random Job, please come in.
(Music is playing in the background)
J:Is there a kegger here?
RJ:It's the anniversary of one of my master's affairs.
J:Which one?
R:(hitting Jo in the ribs) JO! Sorry, my name is Rick Majors, this is my fiancee Jo Weiss. Your master must be very lucky.
Maroon:SHE'S LUCKY, HE'S LUCKY, I'M LUCKY WE'RE ALL LUCKY, SO LET'S TALK(laughing) (clock bongs)
THE FACE LIFT
Maroon:It's astounding time is flying, age is taking it's toll. LISTEN CLOSELY
RJ:NOT FOR MUCH LONGER
Maroon: I've gotta keep control. I REMEMBER GETTING A FACELIFT, SLEEPING THOSE MOMENTS WHEN, THE BLACKNESS WOULD GET ME
M and RJ: AND THE DOCS WOULD BE STICHING
RICH FOLKS: LET'S ALL GET FACELIFTS AGAIN! LET'S ALL GET FACELIFTS AGAIN!
Housemother:It's just a shot to the leg
Rich:and then some doc pulls your fa-a-a-ce
Housemother:You look in the mirror
Rich:and we rejoice forever!
But if they do it wrong, it'll drive us insane! (CHORUS)
(SINCE GEORGE IS A MAN, VERSE IS CUT)
Paraguay:Well I was in the megaplex next to my boyfriend when I said do you think I look attractive. He thought about it and he looked around then said "Get a facelift or you'll never see me again!" With rage I walked out and began to sigh, age would take its toll on me, and I'd die!
(chorus with instructions, then tap dance, then chorus, and rich people drop to ground)
R:Say(all rise) can any of you spare a 50?
J:Rick can we get out of here?
R:I can't leave till we get a phone!
J:LOOK! IM NORMALLY TOUGH, BUT NOW IM SCARED!(ELEVATOR DINGS) R AND J TURN AROUND AND JO FAINTS
Rich Little Snob
(Blair is dressed in a black cape, and her face and hair are like the episode 7 little indians)
B:How'd you do I see you met my handyman
He's a smidge brought down because when u rang he thought you were the jeweler man. DONT GET STRUNG OUT BY THE WAY I LOOK! DONT JUDGE A DIAMOND BY ITS CARETS! By the light of day I'm not much of a woman,but by night I'm one hell of a shopper! I'm just rich little snob from out of nowhere Peekskill NY!
THATS WHERE I'LL STOP FOR NOW
------------------
Chris Farley as Bennett Brauer: I guess I'll keep my paycheck signed until John and Jane Q. Viewer find their remote switch to commentators who don't "frighten children" and don't "eat their own dandruff" and don't "pop their whiteheads with a compass they used in high school"
CAST
Jo-Jo Weiss
Rick-Rick Majors
Blair-Dr.Blair M Warner
Natalie-Maroon
George-Random Job
Tootie-Paraguay
Mrs.Garrett-The House Motheroligist
Casey Clark-Casey Horror
Eddie-Andy
Boots St.Clair-Dr.Clair Scott
(To Sci FI/Double Feature, only 1 verse)
THE LIPS:Only 3 girls made it to season 2, and then there was a new cast. And new writers came up with absurd like plots,like sneaking into a bar. Then the ratings went up and the cast got lots of ridiculous sums of money. But in Season 8 the ratings draped, and this is what the critics said " This, Comedy-Single Feature, is going underneath. Let's replace it, with the Cosbys. The family, will increase our ra-a-tings.
(Jo's friend Jessie has gotten married)
J:It's great Jess finally got married. All her other boyfriends were scared by her.
R:Oh look Jo, she's throwing the bouquet!
J:Rick I'm not gonna-(cut off by running at the crowd) I GET IT OR YOUR FACES GET RIPPED!
R:Wow! (pause) Jo
J:Yeah Rick?
R:I thought it was skillful how you threaten to kill the women to get the bouquet.
(Dammit Janet)
R:The snow was deep but I plowed it
Phantoms:OH JO
R:Time's not my master let's blow it
P:Oh Jo
R:Don't tell me to shut my hole
P:Oh Jo
R:I've got one thing to say and that's Damn it Jo I'm in love w/ you! Here's my ring to prove I'm not a lier. There's one way love can grow for us. That's in be-e-tween us, Oh J-O-A-N-N-A I lo-o-ve you.
J:(not singing) It's better than Jess had, Rick, yada yada yada, let's go see the woman who got us together.
Housemother:When Jo and Rick went to a Dr.Clair Scott, little did they know they would be caught in a strange adventure.
R:Jo what did that sign say?
J:Beats me. Did you check everything in the car?
R:Yeah, except(POP) the tires.
J:Rick you-(goes out) It's flat!
R:Let's go up to that house!
THE MANSION
Random:My name is Random Job, please come in.
(Music is playing in the background)
J:Is there a kegger here?
RJ:It's the anniversary of one of my master's affairs.
J:Which one?
R:(hitting Jo in the ribs) JO! Sorry, my name is Rick Majors, this is my fiancee Jo Weiss. Your master must be very lucky.
Maroon:SHE'S LUCKY, HE'S LUCKY, I'M LUCKY WE'RE ALL LUCKY, SO LET'S TALK(laughing) (clock bongs)
THE FACE LIFT
Maroon:It's astounding time is flying, age is taking it's toll. LISTEN CLOSELY
RJ:NOT FOR MUCH LONGER
Maroon: I've gotta keep control. I REMEMBER GETTING A FACELIFT, SLEEPING THOSE MOMENTS WHEN, THE BLACKNESS WOULD GET ME
M and RJ: AND THE DOCS WOULD BE STICHING
RICH FOLKS: LET'S ALL GET FACELIFTS AGAIN! LET'S ALL GET FACELIFTS AGAIN!
Housemother:It's just a shot to the leg
Rich:and then some doc pulls your fa-a-a-ce
Housemother:You look in the mirror
Rich:and we rejoice forever!
But if they do it wrong, it'll drive us insane! (CHORUS)
(SINCE GEORGE IS A MAN, VERSE IS CUT)
Paraguay:Well I was in the megaplex next to my boyfriend when I said do you think I look attractive. He thought about it and he looked around then said "Get a facelift or you'll never see me again!" With rage I walked out and began to sigh, age would take its toll on me, and I'd die!
(chorus with instructions, then tap dance, then chorus, and rich people drop to ground)
R:Say(all rise) can any of you spare a 50?
J:Rick can we get out of here?
R:I can't leave till we get a phone!
J:LOOK! IM NORMALLY TOUGH, BUT NOW IM SCARED!(ELEVATOR DINGS) R AND J TURN AROUND AND JO FAINTS
Rich Little Snob
(Blair is dressed in a black cape, and her face and hair are like the episode 7 little indians)
B:How'd you do I see you met my handyman
He's a smidge brought down because when u rang he thought you were the jeweler man. DONT GET STRUNG OUT BY THE WAY I LOOK! DONT JUDGE A DIAMOND BY ITS CARETS! By the light of day I'm not much of a woman,but by night I'm one hell of a shopper! I'm just rich little snob from out of nowhere Peekskill NY!
THATS WHERE I'LL STOP FOR NOW
------------------
Chris Farley as Bennett Brauer: I guess I'll keep my paycheck signed until John and Jane Q. Viewer find their remote switch to commentators who don't "frighten children" and don't "eat their own dandruff" and don't "pop their whiteheads with a compass they used in high school"