PZelda
10-23-2007, 03:54 PM
The month of October was hectic enough for me as it was (I returned home the first weekend this month to do some moving into my new place), so I had and still have a lot on my plate right now.
I received word sometime last week (Tuesday-ish) that my 92-year-old paternal grandpa had just suffered a stroke. When that happened, we knew it wouldn't be long, because it sent him downhill. He was disoriented, could no longer speak and didn't recognize his own family.
My grandparents -- well, now it's just my grandma -- still live at home, so when my grandpa had his stroke, my grandma got home care established so that my grandpa would be able to pass on at home, surrounded by family.
I was getting ready to move back to ND (for the last 2 1/2 months, I was living in MN with my sis but decided to move back to my hometown for multiple reasons) and wasn't planning to leave until the end of the month. But when I received word of my grandpa's stroke and failing health, I decided to move up the moving day to an earlier date. I would have left MN last night and I wouldn't have gotten here until about 3 this morning. But on Sunday, my dad called my sis and told her that he wanted us to get on the road to ND as early as possible, which was yesterday morning, because he was pretty positive that my grandpa was not going to make it through last night, and he wanted us to be able to see him one last time. He made it through the night, and passed at 7:30 this morning.
So... that's what happened. We got on the road around 9:30am and finally rolled into town before dinnertime. After stopping at my mom's for an hour, we went to our grandparents' house for dinner and to be at my grandpa's side.
I really don't cry when someone dies... It's part of the life cycle. I didn't cry last night, haven't cried today and don't think I will at the wake and the funeral. But I AM sad. It was just heartbreaking to see my grandpa last night... So thin, fragile and disoriented. In a way, I kind of wish he had passed away sooner. Because honestly... When you're 92 years old and suddenly have a stroke that sends your health downhill, would you really WANT to be in constant pain/rendered a vegetable until you finally pass away? (I'm being realistic here)
But I'm at peace, knowing he passed on at home with family at his side, and that he's not suffering anymore. I have no more grandpas now - my maternal grandpa suffered a severe heart attack when I was 11 and was taken to the hospital, where he was DOA (dead on arrival). That's not how I wanted HIM to die - in an ambulance truck.
I dunno what to think right now, really. My mind is basically a jumble. It's just... a jumble. That's it. It doesn't seem real. You have to admit, though... 92 (he would have turned 93 in December, so his birthday was only like 6 weeks away). I think it's great that human beings can live that long. My grandpa had a chance to live to see his grandchildren and then great-grandchildren (in fact, I just gained a new cousin last Thursday, a new great-grandchild for him. Cool, huh?). He had also led a full and healthy life prior to his passing, and it was only in the last year that his health really started failing. Last week was basically the final nail in the casket, so to speak. I couldn't have asked for more.
I received word sometime last week (Tuesday-ish) that my 92-year-old paternal grandpa had just suffered a stroke. When that happened, we knew it wouldn't be long, because it sent him downhill. He was disoriented, could no longer speak and didn't recognize his own family.
My grandparents -- well, now it's just my grandma -- still live at home, so when my grandpa had his stroke, my grandma got home care established so that my grandpa would be able to pass on at home, surrounded by family.
I was getting ready to move back to ND (for the last 2 1/2 months, I was living in MN with my sis but decided to move back to my hometown for multiple reasons) and wasn't planning to leave until the end of the month. But when I received word of my grandpa's stroke and failing health, I decided to move up the moving day to an earlier date. I would have left MN last night and I wouldn't have gotten here until about 3 this morning. But on Sunday, my dad called my sis and told her that he wanted us to get on the road to ND as early as possible, which was yesterday morning, because he was pretty positive that my grandpa was not going to make it through last night, and he wanted us to be able to see him one last time. He made it through the night, and passed at 7:30 this morning.
So... that's what happened. We got on the road around 9:30am and finally rolled into town before dinnertime. After stopping at my mom's for an hour, we went to our grandparents' house for dinner and to be at my grandpa's side.
I really don't cry when someone dies... It's part of the life cycle. I didn't cry last night, haven't cried today and don't think I will at the wake and the funeral. But I AM sad. It was just heartbreaking to see my grandpa last night... So thin, fragile and disoriented. In a way, I kind of wish he had passed away sooner. Because honestly... When you're 92 years old and suddenly have a stroke that sends your health downhill, would you really WANT to be in constant pain/rendered a vegetable until you finally pass away? (I'm being realistic here)
But I'm at peace, knowing he passed on at home with family at his side, and that he's not suffering anymore. I have no more grandpas now - my maternal grandpa suffered a severe heart attack when I was 11 and was taken to the hospital, where he was DOA (dead on arrival). That's not how I wanted HIM to die - in an ambulance truck.
I dunno what to think right now, really. My mind is basically a jumble. It's just... a jumble. That's it. It doesn't seem real. You have to admit, though... 92 (he would have turned 93 in December, so his birthday was only like 6 weeks away). I think it's great that human beings can live that long. My grandpa had a chance to live to see his grandchildren and then great-grandchildren (in fact, I just gained a new cousin last Thursday, a new great-grandchild for him. Cool, huh?). He had also led a full and healthy life prior to his passing, and it was only in the last year that his health really started failing. Last week was basically the final nail in the casket, so to speak. I couldn't have asked for more.