A Comedy: A Very Funny Fan Fiction

*NOTE: Some contents in this fan fiction are EXTREMELY funny, stupid, and well, strange. If you are looking for a serious fan fiction, please hesitate to read this further. Thank you*

(Eastland)
((Midnight))
B: ::Wakes up slowly and quietly creeps down the stairs. She goes into the kitchen and takes out a bowl. She puts it on the counter. She tapes one potato chip and puts it inside it. She then takes one corn flake and puts it inside it. Then she takes one grape and one peanut and puts it inside the bowl.::
::Jo comes downstairs.::
J: Blair? What the heck are you doing so late?
B: ::Whispers:: Making salad.
J: (looks in the bowl.) One peanut…one corn flake..one grape and one potato chip?
B: Oh, don’t worry. It’s not finished. Want to help?
J: ::raises an eyebrow::
B: ::Gets one piece of popcorn and puts it in. She then takes one fruit snack and puts it in the bowl::
J: I don’t have time for this.
B: : http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/tongue.gifuts one piece of bread in the bowl::
J: ::Rolls eyes and goes upstairs::
(The next morning)
B: ::Sitting at the kitchen table with a bowl::
MG: ::comes downstairs singing opera:: Oh, hello Blair! Er…what do you have there?
B: Salad. I Have LOTS OF THINGIES.
T: ::Comes skating down the stairs, screaming:: HEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPP ::Skates into wall::
MG: Oh dear!!!
B: ::Stares at the salad which contains one of everything. Oh no….oh no……..OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
J: ::comes in:: What is it Blair??!?!?
B: I AM MISSING SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
J: Huh?! What calm down!!!!!!!!!!
B: JO WE MUST GO QUICK.
J: WHERE?!?!?!?!?!
B: THE…THE…THE…..PET STORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
J: WHAT THE?!
B; CMON JO!!!! ::RUNS OUT THE DOOR::
J: BLAIRRRRRRR ::FOLLOWS::
((Pet Store))
B: ::Runs to girl at counter:: DO YOU HAVE FLAMINGOS!?!?!
Worker: No, we don’t have flamingos.
B: WHAT?????!!!!!!!!!! BUT…BUT I NEED A FLAMINGO!!!!!!!!!
Worker: For what???
B: TO COMPLETE MY SALAD. I HAVE A POTATO CHIP, A GRAPE, A PIECE OF BREAD, A CORNFLAKE, AND OTHER THINGS!!!!!!!!! I NEED A FLAMINGO TO FINISH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
J: Blair. You are wasting the nice workers time.
B: ::Runs balastically:: FLAMINGO!!!!!!!! FLAMINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FLAMINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!!!!!!!!!!
((Eastland))
N: ::Runs down the stairs:: Tootie are you ok?!
T: ::Gets up:: I CAN SKATE DOWN THE STAIRS!
N: Tootie you’ve cracked. You need rest.
MG: Tootie, how about you decide what to have for lunch.
T: Ok. A HAMPSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MG: WHAT?!!!!!!!!
N: YOU ARENT EATING A HAMPSTER!!!!!!
T: ::CRIES:: OK THEN…I WANT…..A PANSIE.
MG: A pansie?
T: Yes. A Pansie.
((Pet Shop))
B: JO WHERE ARE FLAMINGOS.
J: Australia, I think……why…………………….
B: LETS GO TO AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!! ::runs out::
J: Blair!!!!!!! ::follows::

Part 2 Coming Soon


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--C (Cassie)

*I am self appointed moderator number 2, along with Danielle - whenever there are fights or bad language, I report it to the proper authorites (TJ or Coily). So please, no fighting.*

My email address is BlairWarner2@hotmail.com, so send me a email sometime! :-]

***COMING SOON FROM ME: THE DIVISION WEBPAGE - EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DIVISION!!!***

~I Love *Nsync~

That was just nuts.Very funny though!I like it!

this is fun. something to take my mind of the monotonous stress of everyday life. good job and keep going!!!!

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-colleen-
**************
jinny: who in the hell are you?
***************
JO rocks!!!!!!!!
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J: i'm gonna loosen some teeth!
***************
AIM ssgoalie8 or nmkjo

(Streets)
B: FLAMINGOS!!!!!!!!!!!! AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!
J: Retart?! Have you lost your damn mind!???????
B: Jo, Listen. I need to finish my salad. I need a flamingo so the aincent recipe will be completed.
J: ::Raises an eyebrow:: Blair are you ok? Do you need a doctor..
B: JO!?? YOU DONT UNDERSTAND DO YOU?! I NEED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
J: BLAIR FOR GOD SAKES YOU DONT NEED A FLAMINGO! WHAT KIND OF STUPID SALAD DID YOU MAKE ANYWAYS? SALADS HAVE LETTACE, TOMATOS, SHREEDED CARROTS..
B: AND FLAMINGOS!
J: Blair are you drunk?
B: No. I just need to finsih my salad!!! ::Runs off::
J: ARGH! BLAIR!!!!!
((Eastland))
MG: Tootie, isnt a pansie a flower?
T: Yes. I want to eat one.
N: Tootie your nuts!
T: No I am not! I am not nuts! I am perfectly normal! I need a pansie you little turtle!
N: ::Raises an eyebrow:: And what do you excpect us to do about it?
T: Go get one.
N: From where?! We dont got any pansies!
T: The flower shop does.
N: ::Stares::
((Flower Shop))
T: ::Screams:: PANSIES?! WHERE ARE YOU?!!!! ::runs to the counter:: WHERE ARE THE PANSIES? I NEED ONE.
Girl: Um..we're out of pansies.
N: I don't believe I am here.
T: ::Gives a devestated look:: W..w..what? ::Falls on her knees: N..n.n...no pansies??? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THIS ISSUE IS EFFECTING MY LIFE?! NO PANSIES
?!!!!! ::sobs:: YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE!!! I NEED TO DIGEST ONE!
Girl: Um...
N: Bye tootie. ::Leaves:: I am not sitting watching a girl be put in a state of depression because she cant have a pansie. ::Is now gone::
T: : http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/biggrin.gifrops low:: NNNNOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! then...then that means i will STARVE!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU HAVE A...A...TULIP?!!!
Girl: Yes..down that isle...
T: ::RUNS TO IT:: YOU ARE THE SUBSTITUTE FOR MY PANSIE, TULIP. ::grabs one and eats it:: Hmm...yummy. Tulip...hmmm...
Girl: Are you going to pay for that?
T: NO.
Girl: Then I will have to call security.
T: Tulips and Pansies are better than a puny security guard.
Girl: ::Picks up the microphone:: Security, there is a girl eating a tulip please come now.
::Blair is running down the street::
B: FLAMINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::People stare at her::
B: WE HAVE TO GO TO AUSTRALIA JO. LETS GO.
J: WE CANT JUST GO!!! WE ARENT BOOKED AND WE ARENT PACKED AND I DONT WANNA GO!
B: TOUGH CRAP! WE MUST GET A FLAMINGO!!!!!!!
(Eastland)
MG: ::In the kitchen. All of the sudden she knocks Blairs salad over and it scatters. It was an accident:: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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--C (Cassie)

*I am self appointed moderator number 2, along with Danielle - whenever there are fights or bad language, I report it to the proper authorites (TJ or Coily). So please, no fighting.*

My email address is BlairWarner2@hotmail.com, so send me a email sometime! :-]

***COMING SOON FROM ME: THE DIVISION WEBPAGE - EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DIVISION!!!***

~I Love *Nsync~

FLAMINGOS? I NEED FLAMINGOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!!!! lol This is NUTS! Oh, Blair, do ya have those in your salad? Oh, man, it's catching, lol, POST MORE SOON OR I'LL HIDE THE FLAMINGOES!!!!!!!!

very very funny! keep going

OH NO!! Mrs.G. is in TROUBLEEEEEEE!!!This is hilarious!!Post more soon!!

MG: Oh my...I am in troubleeee....: http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/tongue.gificks up the peices:: oh it just wont be the same if I put it back together!!!!
N: Tootie is eating tulips at a flower shop. ::walks in:: ::GASPS:: MRS. GARERTT YOU DESTRUCTED BLAIRS SALAD! OH MY GOODNESS!!
::The doorbell rings::
MG: ::Answers it and sees a man she finds attractive. Mr. Rogers:: Oo..hello.
MR: Hello, neighbor. How are you today?
N: ::Screams::
(A plane)
J: I am not talking to you.
B: I do not care. Flamingos are more important than your words going to my ears.
J: ::Glares::
FlightAttendant: We are landing in Australia in 5,4,3,2,1. Landing....Landed.
(Later)
B: FLAMINGOS!!!!! ::Runs to them in a field::
J: Oh my god...
B: ::Jumps to hug one but they run away::
(Flower shop)
T: SECURITY, YOU WILL NOT DEPART THE TULIPS FROM ME YOU EVIL SPACE OCTOPUS!
::Two security guards grab her and leave::
(Eastland)
MR: ::Putting a puppet show for Mrs. G:: King Friday, what do we do?!?! I don't know Queen Sara Saturday! prince Tuesday, help!
N: Oh-my-gosh. Next will be Barney.
MG: ::chuckles:: oh Fred, your puppet shows are amazing.
MR: So are you, neighbor.
::They smile::


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--C (Cassie)

*I am self appointed moderator number 2, along with Danielle - whenever there are fights or bad language, I report it to the proper authorites (TJ or Coily). So please, no fighting.*

My email address is BlairWarner2@hotmail.com, so send me a email sometime! :-]

***COMING SOON FROM ME: THE DIVISION WEBPAGE - EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DIVISION!!!***

~I Love *Nsync~

this is just......STRANGE!!!but VERY VERY FUNNY!!!

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*Blair:I just had another one of my brilliant ideas!
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my e-mail is charlotte_rae_fan@yahoo.com e-mail me!!
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I think that CHARLOTTE RAE is the BEST ACTRESS that EVER lived!!She is incredible!!SOMEDAY...I *WILL* meet HER!!
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Roll out the red carpet...here comes the princess!
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I hate long quotes so I'll stop after my next one!(my favorite is next!)
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Tootie:WE ARE IN TROUBLLEEEEE!!!!
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Well, it's supposed to be strange. And funny. :-)

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--C (Cassie)

*I am self appointed moderator number 2, along with Danielle - whenever there are fights or bad language, I report it to the proper authorites (TJ or Coily). So please, no fighting.*

My email address is BlairWarner2@hotmail.com, so send me a email sometime! :-]

***COMING SOON FROM ME: THE DIVISION WEBPAGE - EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE DIVISION!!!***

~I Love *Nsync~

So, post more!! What are you waitin for christmas?!?!(that was supposed to be funny not offensive)

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*Blair:I just had another one of my brilliant ideas!
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my e-mail is charlotte_rae_fan@yahoo.com e-mail me!!
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I think that CHARLOTTE RAE is the BEST ACTRESS that EVER lived!!She is incredible!!SOMEDAY...I *WILL* meet HER!!
*************************
Roll out the red carpet...here comes the princess!
*************************
I hate long quotes so I'll stop after my next one!(my favorite is next!)
*************************
Tootie:WE ARE IN TROUBLLEEEEE!!!!
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MR: Oh, Edna, you are pretty neighbor.
N: Oh, Mr. Rogers, go home neighbor. (He doesn’t hear her)
MG: You are handsome too Fred.
N: ::sighs: OK..I am gonna try to get this straight. ::Says to herself:: We have a 70 year old man who is obsessed with perfection flirting with Mrs. Garett, Tootie is eating tulips and was taken by security, and Blair and Jo are looking for flamingos. Something is not adding up. We’ve gone insane!!!!! MY WORLD IS CRASHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
~*~**~*~*~*~*~*EVERYTHING GOES BLACK AND SHE OPENS HER EYES~*~*~**~
N: AHHH!
*Mrs. Garetts making dinner, Blair and Jo are fighting, and Tooties playing cards.*
N: A dream…..-phew- ::Then sees Mr. Rogers on TV:: AHHHHHHHH!

END

Sorry it was rushed, coming soon: *THE COMEDY 2*


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--C (Cassie)

*I am self appointed moderator number 2, along with Danielle - whenever there are fights or bad language, I report it to the proper authorites (TJ or Coily). So please, no fighting.*

~I rebel against people who are mean, think they're too good for other people, and people who need to distrub other people to feel good about themselves - they know who they are!~

My email address is BlairWarner2@hotmail.com, so send me a email sometime! :-]

..You can Instant Message me on AOL at Yankees7124..

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/rotflmao.gif Yeah, C! There better be a Comedy 2! If there isn't I will have the bats and their sidekicks the Polar Bears attack you and make you write more! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Boy, Kanaism's fun!!! :Þ Post the next one soon, puh-leeezzzzee!

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Okay, there are a few things that I'd like to make clear:

1.The Facts of Life, THe Division, and Designing Women rock forever!!!

2. I am a Kana. Do not put down The Facts of Life, The Division, or Designing Women, or I will be forced to summon the evil bats and their sidekicks, the evil polar bears, on you.

I'm glad we had this conversation.

Y'all have a nice day!