The Fact of Life
Written By: William Jarmon

Starring:
Cloris Leachman: Beverly Ann Stickel
Charlotte Rae: Edna Garrett
Kim Fields: ‘Tootie’ Ramsey
Mindy Cohn: Natalie Green
William Jarmon: Terry Ramsey
Mackenzie Astin: Andy Moffet

Guest Starring:
Nancy McKeon: Jo Polniaczek-Bonner
Alex Rocco: Charlie Polniaczek
Lisa Whelchel-Cauble: Blair Warner
Scott Bryce: Rick Bonner

(Doorbell rings, Andy runs downstairs)

ANDY: Hold on,

(He opens the door)

Andy: Jo and child

Jo: Hi Andy

Andy: Everybody Jo's here

Tootie: Jo, how are ya

Jo: Fine Tootie

Natalie: So how is Rick

Jo: He's doin really good really takin’ off in England

Terry: and how is the baby

Jo: So far, so good

Mrs. G: So how is living In England

Jo: Not as good as living in the here, people over there people over there stink, that's why I’m buying the best smelling everything and if I have to US imported water.

Beverly Ann: So how far along are you

Jo: 9 months

Mrs. G: So your gonna have the baby here

Jo: I want you all to have the first look at Roseanne Marie Bonner

Natalie: Roseanne, Jo cursing this baby already and she's not even born yet

Andy: Hey Terry, were gonna be Uncles

Terry: Yeah, I'm going to have a niece, when will I have A biological niece

(Terry looks at Tootie)

Tootie: If you’re looking for one soon then don't hold your Breath

(Next scene, At the baby store)

Terry: All right, why are we the only two men in this store

Andy: I have no idea but women can be found here

Terry: You know you have a point

(Terry and Andy walk away/Tootie, Nat, and Jo look at clothes)

Tootie: Aw. This is so cute

Jo: No way is my daughter gonna be caught in that

Natalie: No disrespect but most babies are

(Terry and Andy walk over)

Andy: Just be you don't have a son

Terry: Yeah, they have to wear a dress until their 3 years old

Jo: This is cute wouldn't you say

(Terry sees a woman reaching for a stroller)

Terry: Hey Andy, we need help that woman, wouldn't you say

Andy: Of course, she needs help

Jo: Look our little brothers are being Samaritans

Tootie: Or so we think

(Terry and Andy are talking to the woman)

Terry: What's up, my name is

Jennifer: Terry Ramsey

Terry: Yeah

Jennifer: And your Andy Moffet

Andy: Yeah, how do you know us

Terry: Have we had a class together or something

Jennifer: You’re the hottest Sophomore and you are not only the cutest looking

Senior you’re the cutest boy in school

Both: Thanks, we guess

Terry: I noticed that you needed a little help, and that brings the question where's your man

Jennifer: He left me when I told him I was pregnant

Andy: Looks like he couldn't take care of his responsibilities

Terry: Well I saw you try to get this stroller so I'll get that for you

(Jennifer looks at Terry's backside)

Jennifer: Nice butt

Terry: Yours isn't so bad either

Jennifer: Wait till I have this baby, then you should really see it

Terry: Well, to see it and possibly the rest I need your phone number

Jennifer: Already ahead of you, look in your pocket

(Terry looks in his pocket)

Terry: Your quick

Jennifer: Call me even quicker

Terry: Will do

(Tootie, Jo, and Natalie walk over)

Jo: A pregnant woman, Terry

Terry: She's just a friend

Andy: A friend, your funny

Terry: Andy, shut up

Tootie: You're sick

Natalie: Really sick

Terry: She was coming on to me

Tootie: Andy

Andy: What he is saying is the truth. The way she was talking she wouldn't mind having another baby.

Tootie: Terry I'm sorry

Terry: I accept your apology, next time investigate by coming over instead assuming everything

Natalie: Now that we've straightened that out let's get out of here and go home

(Next scene, At the house)

Beverly Ann: I called Blair a week ago to make sure she was here to see the Jo

Mrs.G: Well, Edna she doesn't know how to be on time

Blair: But I got here this time now where are they

Mrs.G: They should be back any minute now

(Doorbell rings)

Blair: Hello Grandfather Charlie and Daddy Rick

Charlie: I hope you mind us being here

Mrs.G: How often is it that everyone gets together like this

Rick: Over the last 2 years not often, but from this moment on that will change I promise you

(All come in)

Jo: Rick, Dad what are you guys doing here

Charlie: Well, I'm trying to see the birth of my first Grandchild

Rick: I just wanna see my first child be born

Blair: Hi Jo


Jo: Blair, how are ya

Blair: I'm actually a little jealous that you're having a baby and I'm not

Beverly Ann: Blair that’s crazy

Natalie: Maybe you and Casey will have kids

Andy: I wanna see that

Jo: Excuse me but I'M IN LABOR

Mrs.G: We've been through this before Blair get the suitcase, Andy you and Terry start the cars, the rest of were in for a long haul

Rick: Oh my God, I'm going to be a father

(Rick faints)

Charlie: You got trouble I'm going to be a Grandfather

(Charlie faints)

Natalie: Do you two plan on fainting also

Andy: We it under control

(Next scene, At the Hospital)

Receptionist: May I help you all

Natalie: We got a pregnant one

Doctor: Well, how far apart are the contractions

Rick: Contractions are 5 minutes apart and she's fully dilated

Doctor: All right let's get you into the delivery room

Charlie: Jo, we’ll stay in the waiting room

(In the delivery room)

Doctor: All right Mrs. Bonner push

(Jo's pushing)

Rick: Now breathe, that's it honey

(Jo's breathing)

Jo: Rick

Rick: Yeah honey

Jo: Shut up

Andy: She's abrasive

Rick: Hey Terry, look at that

Terry: Oh my God, I think I'm gonna hurl

(Terry runs to a bathroom)

Tootie: Let me get him

Doctor: Alright Mrs. Bonner, one more push

Jo: Good, someone get my Dad

(Charlie runs in)

Charlie: I'm here Jo

Jo: That was quick

Rick: Jo push

(Jo pushes)

Doctor: Congratulations it's a girl, do you have a name

Jo: Roseanne Marie Bonner

Doctor: Roseanne

Natalie: That's exactly what I said



Written By: William Jarmon

Producer: Ross Brown

Producer: Rita Dillion



COPYRIGHT 1991

ELP COMMUNICATION

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Copyright 2000 WJ Productions