mlee727@aol.com
07-20-2001, 06:35 AM
FADE IN:
INT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- MORNING
Blair Warner, 35, walks into her living room. Everything about her looks perfect. She is wearing a very stylish, expensive looking dress. Not a hair out of place, her make up looks great. But something about her looks less than perfect. Her eyes look worn, like they have seen more than their fair share of tears. No amount of make up could cover it up. She walks over to the couch and sits down. She picks up a magazine and skims through it. Three young children run into the room. Two girls and a little boy. The first girl, Catherine 12 is the spinning of her mother as a brunette. The boy, Michael, 8 has shaggy brown hair and big brown eyes and the youngest, Lindsey, 6 has blonde hair and big crystal blue eyes. She looks like she belongs to someone else. All three kids look almost model-esque. The kids race up to their mom. They are all carrying gifts. Lindsey jumps into her mom's lap. Blair makes a soft reflex grunting noise as her daughter pounces on her. Blair grabs her and hugs her. The other to sit on either side of her.
BLAIR
Hey, there Lindsey. What to you got there?
LINDSEY
Present. Happy birthday, mommy. I made you a present.
Lindsey shows Blair the painting.
BLAIR
(genuine)
That's gorgeous. Is that you?
LINDSEY
That's me and you and Michael and Catherine. I didn't put daddy in it cause you don't like him.
BLAIR
I like him. He gave me you. Each one of your dads gave me a great present.
CATHERINE
Yeah, a divorce.
Blair looks at Catherine.
BLAIR
No.
CATHERINE
Hey, Linds, why is mom green?
LINDSEY
(matter-of-fact)
Cause I couldn't find the orange.
BLAIR
I think it looks beautiful. I've always thought I looked good in green. Next gift.
MICHAEL
Mine, mine.
Michael hands her a gift. Blair opens it. It's a necklace and bracelet made out of paper clips and ribbon.
CATHERINE
What did you do? Make that in math.
BLAIR
(genuine)
I love it. I saw this in Tiffanys.
Blair puts it on.
BLAIR
Cath, you're next.
CATHERINE
Aunt Jo helped.
Catherine gives it to her. Blair looks at her and opens it. It's a picture frame, inside is a picture of Blair, Tootie, Natalie and Jo from a long time ago. They are standing in their uniforms and smiling. Blair is speechless. She smiles.
BLAIR
Wow.
LINDSEY
Who's that mommy?
BLAIR
This was taken in 1980. I'm old. That's me and aunt Jo-
LINDSEY
Why is Aunt Jo's tie coming off?
BLAIR
She didn't know how to dress herself back then. Back then, she had two outfits that she wore over and over again. This uniform and some army get up.
LINDSEY
Who are those?
BLAIR
Who are they? This is Natalie.
MICHAEL
She has no eyeballs.
LINDSEY
(incredulous)
She has no eyeballs.
MICHAEL
Stop repeating.
LINDSEY
Mommy.
BLAIR
She has eyeballs.
CATHERINE
Where?
BLAIR
Oh, my I never noticed that. They're in there.
(excited)
There, there, I see it. A pupil. Okay, and that is Tootie.
MICHAEL
Tootie? That's a stupid name.
CATHERINE
I know, she must've gotten teased. Tootie, Rootie, Fruity, Snooty. Fresh and Fruity.
BLAIR
Hey. Her real name was Dorothy. She chose that name.
CATHERINE
How do you get Tootie from Dorothy?
BLAIR
It's so obvious. Two O's.
(wondering)
How did she get Tootie?
(then)
Well, those two I haven't talked to in ages.
CATHERINE
Well, isn't she in the movies?
BLAIR
Tootie? Yeah. She has one coming out. I'm her biggest fan. I think I've seen every movie.
There's a knock on the door.
BLAIR
I think that's Aunt Jo. Hey, kids, speaking of this picture. I think I know when this was taken. When you open the door. Ask Jo how she feels about men named, Eddie? I'm gonna hide behind the staircase.
They all get up off the couch and walk to the door.
CATHERINE
Who is it?
JO
It's Jo.
Catherine opens the door.
LINDSEY
How do like men named, Eddie?
JO
Okay, so, you don't want a birthday gift?
BLAIR
Get in.
JO
Hey.
LINDSEY
Do you like Eddie? I think you should marry Eddie.
Blair tries to hold in her laughter. Jo shoots her a look of death.
JO
Oh, honey, I really don't think that's gonna happen.
BLAIR
Did once.
JO
Okay, bye.
BLAIR
No, no. Jo. Oh come on.
CATHERINE
Did you bring Gail over?
JO
Yeah. She wanted to get some stuff out of the car.
Gail, 10, runs up to her mom. Gail has brownish-blonde hair and giant blue eyes. She is wearing torn jeans and a flannel t-shirt.
GAIL
Hey, Cath.
CATHERINE
What are you wearing?
GAIL
I'm sorry I didn't feel the need to wear a ball gown to go next door.
CATHERINE
Well, really, are you stealing jeans from homeless people?
GAIL
No, actually, weren't they yours?
Catherine and Gail walk off.
CATHERINE
I would never wear something that hideous.
GAIL
Have you looked in the mirror lately?
They continue fighting as they walk off.
BLAIR
Remind you of anyone?
JO
A bit.
The two women hug.
JO
Happy birthday.
BLAIR
Thanks. How's Rick?
JO
He's great. He has a concert next week. You wanna come?
BLAIR
I'd love too. Lindsey, Michael why don't you two go upstairs and play.
LINDSEY
Bye Aunt Jo.
MICHAEL
Bye.
JO
Bye.
Michael and Lindsey race upstairs.
JO
Guess where he's playing?
BLAIR
Someone's garage.
JO
No. I think even you would admit that this is good. Even Ms. Warner herself would admit that I have made it into the elite.
BLAIR
What? You're playing Carnegie Hall?
Jo looks at her and smiles. Blair is stunned.
BLAIR
No. You are not.
JO
Yes. Well, Rick is.
BLAIR
He is playing Carnegie Hall.
JO
Uh-huh.
BLAIR
Like professionally, not like a janitor or anything?
JO
Yes, Blair I'm inviting you to see how he holds a mop.
BLAIR
That's amazing.
JO
I know.
BLAIR
Oh and thank you for helping with Catherine's gift. This is something-I'm gonna keep this by my bed.
JO
I thought you'd like it.
BLAIR
Speaking of Tootie and Nat, the Saturday after the Carnegie Hall thing, Tootie's new movie, Night of the Journey opens. And-
Blair walks over to the bookcase and takes out a portfolio. She walks back to the couch and opens it.
JO
I love that necklace. Is that the new style?
BLAIR
My son gave it to me. It's amazing. Anyway, I clipped this out this morning. Natalie's article in today's New York Times.
JO
Pretty good.
BLAIR
I know. And I put the reviews of Tootie's last movie, Vampire Legends into Tootie's scrapbook yesterday. You know, they say she maybe nominated for an Oscar for that.
JO
What is this? Her fourth one.
BLAIR
She's been nominated five times, won once. So are we going in two weeks to see Tootie's movie?
JO
You may. Remember? Rick, Gail and I are going to Los Angeles. Rick's playing the Hollywood Bowl.
BLAIR
Oh. I thought you weren't going?
JO
Wasn't but then I figured I needed a break. School's almost done for Gail and I'm just emotionally worn out from the shelter. Why don't you and the kids come with us? If anyone deserves a break more-
BLAIR
No, I can't.
JO
Come on, the headmistress of Eastland can take a break especially when her third divorce is gonna be final in two weeks.
BLAIR
Third divorce. How sad is that? Three times. I'm turning into my mother.
JO
You're not.
BLAIR
Yes. Three times, three kids. Not the fairy tale I had in mind.
JO
You'll meet him. I still say it's Steve.
BLAIR
Steve? Steve Nelson, Steve? Steve I've known for 13 years and is like my brother I never wanted, Steve.
JO
Yes, that's the one.
BLAIR
No.
JO
Come on, you're perfect for each other. And he loves your kids.
BLAIR
No. He's not-not-
JO
Not up to the Warner standards?
BLAIR
No.
JO
He's not Warner wealthy?
Blair looks at Jo. She won't admit it, but Jo is right.
JO
You won't date him cause he's not wealthy?
BLAIR
Monetarily speaking, I am worth-
JO
Less?
BLAIR
No, no, I'm talking about me. Not you.
JO
I was talking about you too.
BLAIR
Why am I your friend?
JO
Cause no one else will take the job.
BLAIR
Yeah, let's count all the friends you have. Shall we? Okay, there's me and....oh, my that's all.
JO
Come with us to Los Angeles. Unless you wanna stay while Adam comes and takes the rest of his stuff out of here.
BLAIR
I thought he was the one. Every year I was married longer than the last. Jack and I were married 1 year, Tom and I, 3 years and Adam and I, 5 years. I thought 5....longest I've ever been married. Why don't I seem to keep it. I never wanna get married again.
JO
You're 35-
BLAIR
3 marriages before 35. G-d, I'm a lo-lo-loser.
JO
I've never heard that come out of your mouth.
BLAIR
What would you call it?
JO
Bad choices.
BLAIR
And poor Catherine. She's going through what I went through. Three fathers before she even becomes a teenager. It's worse than what I went through. I mean, the one thing I wanted in life was to never let my children go through what I went through with a different dad every couple of years. And I failed.
JO
No, you didn't.
There's a knock at the door. Blair gets up and answers the door. It's Steve. Steve tall and very handsome. He and Blair have a very joke-y relationship where they are constantly teasing, but underneath it all, they have a deep love for each other.
STEVE
Hey, my favorite divorcee.
BLAIR
My favorite geek.
STEVE
So, what? Tenth time?
BLAIR
No, I plan on reaching that by the time I turn 40.
STEVE
Good luck.
BLAIR
Thanks.
JO
Hey, Steve.
STEVE
Joseph!
JO
Stephanie!
STEVE
Happy Birthday, Blair.
JO
You know, I was thinking Steve, you and Blair might make a cute couple.
BLAIR
But he's funny looking, Jo.
STEVE
Yeah, you're attractive. Nice roots.
BLAIR
It's natural.
STEVE
Maybe the bottle.
Steve puts his arm around Blair and walks with her back to the couch. They almost look like twins separated at birth.
JO
Hey, Rick's playing Carnegie Hall Saturday night. You wanna come?
STEVE
Is she fixing us up?
BLAIR
It appears.
STEVE
What's he playing in Carnegie Hall?
BLAIR
That's like the worst joke ever.
STEVE
Hey, those who know Ventriloquism should never speak.
BLAIR
It's an art.
STEVE
It's stupid.
BLAIR
You're jealous.
STEVE
No, I just really don't care if your lips don't move.
JO
Actually, I'd like it if they didn't.
STEVE
I'll get the duct tape.
JO
I'll get the rope.
BLAIR
You do, and I'll hurt you both.
The three continue to talk and laugh as Blair opens her gifts.
INT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- EVENING
Blair walks downstairs. She looks beautiful. Behind her is a fifteen year old girl, Lizzie. Lizzie is babysitting.
BLAIR
Lizzie, here are the emergency numbers and the number of Carnegie hall and-
There's a knock at the door. Blair walks over to it.
LIZZIE
Ms. Warner-
BLAIR
Lizzie, when you're at Eastland, Ms. Warner. When you're babysitting my children-
LIZZIE
Sorry, Blair. I've done this a lot. 28 times and counting.
Blair opens the door. It's Steve. He is in a tux. He looks very sexy. Blair is stunned.
BLAIR
Wow, you clean up nicely.
STEVE
So do you.
Lizzie smiles.
LIZZIE
Hi Mr. Nelson.
STEVE
Liz. How are you?
LIZZIE
Good. Grade the Bio tests yet?
STEVE
Yes.
LIZZIE
And?
Steve shakes his head. Lizzie's face falls.
BLAIR
I'm sorry, Lizzie.
LIZZIE
That's alright. Have fun.
BLAIR
Okay.
Blair and Steve walk out of the house. Lizzie closes the door behind them.
EXT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- CONTINUOUS
Blair and Steve walk towards Steve's car.
BLAIR
What did she get?
Steve looks at her and smiles.
STEVE
A hundred and two. She got the bonus question.
BLAIR
You are such a bastard. We have to tell her-
STEVE
No. No. I want to see the look on her face Monday morning.
BLAIR
Yeah, she will kill you. Or worse. I don't want any deaths at Eastland.
STEVE
It'll be fun.
BLAIR
Where you ever in school? I remember my friend; Natalie got a B on an English paper. She went nuts. More than usual.
They get into the car.
INT. STEVE'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
Steve drives off.
STEVE
Is that one with no eyes?
BLAIR
She had eyes. And could you drive a little slower.
STEVE
Are you okay?
BLAIR
Yeah. It's just I've many bad experiences in cars. Cars and trees.
STEVE
I know. That's why I'm not teasing you about that.
BLAIR
Thanks. It happened right there.
STEVE
What did?
BLAIR
I fell asleep. It was late. 11:30. I had a test the next day. I drove Casey home and then drove back and I opened the windows. I was tired and turned the radio on. New Kids on the Block. I liked them. It was 1988. I was 22. I wasn't supposed to admit that in public. I did. So I pumped them up. And sang. Loud. Top of my lungs. But I couldn't do it and my eyes became heavy and then it stopped. And I woke up for two seconds and I was upside down but curved and then I woke up in a hospital bed.
STEVE
I wish I had been there.
BLAIR
No. I was hideous.
STEVE
I couldn't see you being hideous. Gross, maybe. Never hideous.
Blair smiles and stares out the window. Steve puts his hand on her hand and pats it. Blair stares at it. He puts his hand back on the wheel and Blair looks back out the window. The car drives off.
EXT. CARNEGIE HALL -- EVENING
Blair and Steve walk up to the front where Jo is waiting for them. She looks pretty.
JO
Hey. I was waiting for you. You guys okay?
BLAIR
Yeah. You think I would've gotten over my fear of being in cars by now, but-
JO
Blair, when you almost die in one, it's okay to be afraid.
BLAIR
Thanks for that reminder. Can we not go there?
STEVE
Are you okay?
BLAIR
Yes, I am. Let's go.
Steve puts his arm around her. The three of them walk into the hall.
INT. RESTAURANT -- LATER
Blair, Steve, Rick and Jo are all sitting together eating and talking.
RICK
So, was I okay? Cause I really felt like I sucked.
JO
Honey, they asked you back.
RICK
They didn't mean it.
JO
It was a joke?
STEVE
People at Carnegie Hall never joke.
BLAIR
I know. I have heard that.
RICK
But I played a flat instead of a sharp on that Mozart piece.
STEVE
Do you think anyone noticed?
BLAIR
I did.
STEVE
Except her, cause she's stupid.
BLAIR
Hey, I learn from the best.
RICK
Aren't they cute together?
JO
I think so.
STEVE
Joseph, I'm shocked.
BLAIR
How much did Jo pay you to say that?
RICK
More than what I made tonight.
BLAIR
So, Jo how's Eddie?
JO
I don't know. Maybe he's with Chad.
BLAIR
They would've made a cute couple. The officer and the beast. Oh Jo did you read Nat's article the other day, speaking of Chad?
JO
I was wondering when the perfect time to tease you would be.
STEVE
What? What?
RICK
I want to hear this.
JO
He's in prison. And my dad is convinced, he's married by now.
BLAIR
I know. To a man named, Bubba.
Blair and Jo are cracking up.
BLAIR
What was I thinking?
JO
He brainwashed you. And really, that's not all that hard.
BLAIR
(mock sadness)
Oh, Jo. You've used that joke already.
JO
Well, how long have we been friends? 20 years? I bound to recycle a few.
BLAIR
And Eddie was just-
RICK
Icky.
BLAIR
Couldn't have put it better. I mean, please.
JO
You dated a military man.
BLAIR
Yeah. What was his name? He was a friend of yours? He was-Alfred. No.
JO
Oh my G-d.
BLAIR
What?
JO
I don't remember either.
BLAIR
Billy. Sam. Joe. John. Willis.
JO
I don't remember my old friend's name. Oh, I'm losing my mind. Shut up, Blair.
BLAIR
Too easy. George.
JO
No. Although, remember that guy who helped us with the construction for Over our Heads?
BLAIR
That was George. Gorgeous George.
JO
I thought I saw him on TV the other day. In a show about a hospital?
BLAIR
You think he became an actor?
JO
Well, he had the looks.
BLAIR
You admit it? She never admitted that he was gorgeous.
JO
I did. He was just there to do a job.
BLAIR
(smiling)
I had a job he could'a done. Involving his hands.
JO
(mock shock)
That's disgusting.
Blair gives Jo a look.
BLAIR
Not in my head it wasn't.
RICK
Do we need to be hearing this?
STEVE
No.
BLAIR
Tough.
JO
I know, now, okay what was George doing with his hands.
BLAIR
Everything. Makes Sex in the City look like The Sound of Music. He, he.
Blair and Jo are laughing.
JO
Oh, Blair.
BLAIR
Don't go all innocent on me, missy.
JO
Believe me, I'm not. Mr. Big.
BLAIR
I hope so.
They are cracking up. Rick and Steve are desperate to change the subject. Blair and Jo slowly begin to compose themselves.
RICK
Hey, Steve are you two coming with us to Los Angeles. Jo was telling me-
BLAIR
My divorce is gonna be final-
JO
Blair. We're going to Disneyland. You can be a Musketeer.
STEVE
I have finals coming up. But I can take a break.
BLAIR
I'm not gonna be much fun in the happiest place on Earth.
RICK
Oh, come on Blair. We'll let you wear a hat with your name on it?
BLAIR
I have one already.
JO
And I'm sure Catherine, Michael and Lindsey would be in heaven.
BLAIR
Guys, I'm sorry.
JO
We can visit Tootie?
STEVE
Come on, boss what do you say? Can I have a week off?
BLAIR
Hmm, okay, okay. Well, we need to get tickets. I'll call my dad and see if we can the private jet. You three wanna go on that?
JO
Can't. We already paid for our tickets.
RICK
Non-refundable.
JO
We can't afford to lose money.
BLAIR
Alright. We'll meet you in Los Angeles not this a week from Tuesday. Steve, you have a final to give on Monday.
JO
Tuesday night is the Hollywood Bowl. We'll get you seats.
The foursome continue to talk.
INT. JFK AIRPORT -- MORNING
Blair, Jo, Rick, Steve, Gail, Catherine, Lindsey and Michael are standing together.
JO
So, meet us at this hotel tomorrow tonight and we'll go to dinner.
BLAIR
I'm really looking forward to this.
JO
Yeah, I can tell.
They hug.
BLAIR
Goodbye, Jo.
JO
Bye, Blair. See you soon.
LINDSEY
Mommy, are we going to Disneyland?
BLAIR
Yeah.
LINDSEY
Can I see Mickey?
BLAIR
Yes.
MICHAEL
I like Tigger.
BLAIR
Me too.
RICK
Okay, honey, it's time too go.
JO
Bye.
Jo, Rick and Gail walk off. Steve, Blair, Catherine, Michael and Lindsey wave goodbye.
INT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- NIGHT
Lizzie is watching TV. Blair and Steve walk in.
BLAIR
That movie was amazing. Isn't Tootie great?
STEVE
She is.
BLAIR
Thanks for coming with me. Hey Liz.
Lizzie is mesmerized by the television.
BLAIR
Liz?
They look to see what she is watching. It's a news report of a plane crash.
BLAIR
Oh, my.
STEVE
That's bad.
BLAIR
Jo.
STEVE
That's not Jo.
BLAIR
Oh my G-d, Steve, it's Jo.
STEVE
How do you know?
BLAIR
I don't know. I have a feeling.
NEWSREPORTER
And here is what we are learning about the deadly plane crash of JFAX 300. It headed out of JFK airport this at 9:30 this morning and was headed to LAX. There have been no signs of any survivors.
BLAIR
Oh.
Blair grabs a hold of the back of the couch. She can barely hold herself up.
INT. NEWSROOM -- MORNING
Natalie is hard at work when Stacie walks over to her.
STACIE
Natalie?
NATALIE
Hey, Stacie.
STACIE
I contacted the airlines, here's a fax of the names of the bodies that have been identified.
The phone rings.
NATALIE
Thanks.
(Stacie walks out)
Natalie Green, speaking. Uh-huh. I got it.
Natalie reads and as she reads, her mouth drops. Her face begins to lose color.
NATALIE
No. Wait? Can I call you back? Thanks.
Natalie hangs up. She picks up the phone and dials.
INT. TRAILER -- MOMENTS LATER
Tootie is memorizing lines in her trailer when the phone rings. She picks up.
TOOTIE
Hello?
INT. TRAILER/NEWSROOM -- MORNING
Tootie and Natalie are shown in split screen.
NATALIE
Tootie?
TOOTIE
This is she.
NATALIE
It's Natalie.
TOOTIE
Hey, Nat.
NATALIE
Tootie, have you heard anything about that plan crash?
TOOTIE
Yeah. It's been all over the news.
NATALIE
Someone we know was in that plane.
TOOTIE
What?
NATALIE
I just got a faxed list of the names of the bodies that have been identified.
TOOTIE
And?
NATALIE
Joanna Polnachek Bonner.
TOOTIE
What about her?
NATALIE
Tootie.
TOOTIE
No, she wasn't. We're going to lunch. She can't because we're going to lunch.
NATALIE
Has she called you to let you know she's in?
TOOTIE
And Blair too. Blair and Jo and me.
NATALIE
Blair's not on the list.
TOOTIE
See, then it can't be Jo.
NATALIE
Tootie.
TOOTIE
I gotta go.
NATALIE
Tootie.
TOOTIE
I have to go. I'm eating lunch with Jo and Blair.
Tootie hangs up. We stay on the trailer, the newsroom disappears. Tootie takes a deep breath and picks up the phone. She grabs her address book and takes a yellow post-it off. She dials the number on the post-it.
TOOTIE
Hi, can I have the room for Jo, Rick and Gail Bonner please? What do mean they haven't checked in yet? Yes they have, we have to have lunch today. How about Blair Warner and Steve Nelson? No? They have to check in. We're eating lunch today. They have to be in.
Tootie starts to sob. She hangs up.
TOOTIE
We have to eat lunch today.
INT. NATALIE'S OFFICE -- MOMENTS LATER
Natalie is still staring at the list when there is a knock on her office door. It's Stacie.
STACIE
Natalie.
NATALIE
Yeah?
STACIE
There's a woman out here that says she knows you? Blair Warner? We keep telling her to leave and that you're not here.
NATALIE
Oh, G-d. Send her in.
Stacie walks out. A few seconds later, Blair appears in the doorway. Natalie looks at her. She gets up and walks over to her. Blair is very somber throughout the scene. She barely shows any emotions at all. She is very calm, eerily calm.
BLAIR
I was supposed to take a plane. Another one because I had to work. But I-I didn't.
Natalie picks the list up off her desk. She hands it to her.
NATALIE
Here's a list of some of the victims.
Blair looks at it.
BLAIR
Yeah. She's on it.
Natalie hugs her. Blair makes a face. Although Natalie means well, but that hug is the most painful thing in the world to her right now. Blair shakes herself loose.
BLAIR
I don't want to hug right now.
NATALIE
I'm sorry. Tootie is expecting you for lunch.
BLAIR
She is. I already ate.
NATALIE
Maybe you should call and cancel?
BLAIR
I should. But um, I have to work. I knew you might have the list and I wanted to come and say hello.
NATALIE
Listen, you want to come over tonight. We could talk? I've been through this.
BLAIR
No, I don't.
NATALIE
Maybe when you're ready?
BLAIR
Maybe. But I'm gonna plan a memorial service.
NATALIE
Why? Why you?
BLAIR
Because I have to.
NATALIE
Let me help.
BLAIR
No. I have to go to work.
Blair walks off. Natalie is stunned. She picks up the phone.
INT. TRAILER -- CONTINUOUS
The phone rings. Tootie tries to regain composure as she picks up the phone.
TOOTIE
Hello?
NATALIE
Tootie, it's Natalie.
Tootie is starting to get worried. Throughout the scene, she slowly becomes hysterical.
TOOTIE
You found Warner? Nat, they haven't checked in. Why haven't they checked in? We have reservations in a half hour. They have to be here because we have reservations. They wouldn't cancel on me.
NATALIE
Blair was just here.
TOOTIE
Oh, good, good. So Jo's still alive and they're just late. Really late. I mean, okay, I don't think they'll make it from New York to Los Angeles in a half hour. But alright. I'll change it to dinner.
NATALIE
No, Tootie.
TOOTIE
I'll change it to dinner, Natalie. That will give them enough time. It will. It's only 12:30 here. Or breakfast tomorrow.
NATALIE
Tootie, Blair is here. Jo is-
TOOTIE
Screw you.
NATALIE
Excuse me.
TOOTIE
Screw you. Okay, they will be here. They never cancel without calling. They wouldn't flake on me and Rick has to play at the Hollywood Bowl. He wouldn't miss that. Come on.
NATALIE
Fine, call the Hollywood Bowl and see if he played last night or if he's gonna play tonight.
TOOTIE
I don't have too. Cause I know he did. I have to go.
Tootie hangs up. She tries to regain composure and picks up the phone and dials.
TOOTIE
A listing for the Hollywood Bowl please? Thank you.
INT. BLAIR'S OFFICE -- AFTERNOON
Blair is working when Steve walks in. Blair looks up and then back at her work. She barely looks at Steve.
BLAIR
Knock, please.
STEVE
Sorry. It's 4 o'clock. Time to go home now.
BLAIR
I have work to do Steve. I have to plan this memorial service and I can't believe Tootie isn't listed. Why wouldn't she be listed? Come on. She's not that big.
STEVE
Most actors that make 1.5 million per movie aren't listed.
BLAIR
Well, I think that's really dumb. What if someone wants to get into touch with them.
STEVE
That's probably why they're not listed.
BLAIR
(bitchy)
Gee, aren't you humorous?
STEVE
Do you want help?
BLAIR
No.
STEVE
Come on, let's go out for dinner.
BLAIR
I don't want to. I want to be left alone. Why is that so hard for you to understand? Leave me alone.
STEVE
Fine.
BLAIR
Steve-
STEVE
What?
BLAIR
(feels bad)
Sorry for yelling, I just need to get this done.
STEVE
I understand.
Steve walks out. Blair takes a deep breath and continues to work.
INT. TOOTIE AND JEFF'S BEDROOM -- MORNING
Tootie is pacing. Jeff walks up to her.
JEFF
Honey, I have to go to work.
TOOTIE
Understand. I just I don't-
The phone rings. Jeff picks it up.
JEFF
Hello? Yeah, she's here. Tootie, it's Blair.
Tootie smiles. She grabs the phone and collapses on to the bed.
TOOTIE
Hello?
BLAIR
Hi. I got your number from Natalie. I need to-
TOOTIE
So you're coming.
BLAIR
What?
TOOTIE
To Los Angeles. You and Jo?
BLAIR
Are you really that stupid?
TOOTIE
What?
BLAIR
Jo's dead. The bitch decided not to get off the plane. You got it.
TOOTIE
But-
BLAIR
I need your address.
TOOTIE
Why?
BLAIR
Because I'm sending you fan mail. What do you think I need it for?
TOOTIE
Listen, Blair don't get bitchy on me.
BLAIR
I'll try not to if you give me your address so I can plan this memorial service.
TOOTIE
Do you need me to help you?
BLAIR
No, damn it, Tootie! I don't need your help.
TOOTIE
Well, I don't want you doing it alone.
BLAIR
That's the only way to get it done right. Give me your address and tell me when you're planning on coming into New York so I can make your hotel reservations.
TOOTIE
I can do that myself.
BLAIR
No, you can't.
TOOTIE
I'm not useless.
BLAIR
Look, I want this done to perfection. Meaning everything goes my way, got it. Tell me, what is your address?
Tootie takes a deep breath and slowly begins to tell her.
INT. JFK AIRPORT -- DAY
Blair is pacing back and forth. Natalie is sitting.
NATALIE
Blair can you sit?
BLAIR
No.
NATALIE
Blair.
BLAIR
What? I don't want to sit down. Where are they?
NATALIE
You know, Blair you can't control flight times.
BLAIR
You want to pick a fight with me now?
NATALIE
Look, I know you're angry-
BLAIR
I am not angry.
NATALIE
I know what you're going through.
BLAIR
No, you don't.
NATALIE
I don't?
BLAIR
That's what you went through. You don't know what Blair Warner is feeling right now so don't pretend like you know.
Mrs. Garrett walks up behind Blair.
MRS. GARRETT
Am I interrupting?
NATALIE
Mrs. Garrett.
MRS. GARRETT
Hi, girls. How are you two holding up?
NATALIE
I feel horrible.
MRS. GARRETT
Blair?
BLAIR
How do you think? Where's Tootie's flight?
MRS. GARRETT
Blair?
BLAIR
What? It can't show up on time. Is that too much to ask?
MRS. GARRETT
No, it's not.
Mrs. Garrett puts her hand on Blair's shoulder. Blair shrugs it off.
BLAIR
I'm gonna check on that flight.
Blair walks off.
NATALIE
I'm going to kill her.
MRS. GARRETT
Be patient. That's what you wanted when your dad died.
NATALIE
Well, I wasn't so mean to people.
MRS. GARRETT
Yeah, you were. Maybe not like Blair. But you didn't have a ton of patience for people.
NATALIE
I feel bad. At least Blair got to say goodbye to Jo. I didn't get that. I hadn't seen or spoken to her in three years. Tootie hadn't spoken to her in over five. Funny, we always said we'd never lose touch. We'd been through too much. Well, we were wrong.
Mrs. Garrett comforts her. Tootie walks over to them.
TOOTIE
Hey.
They look at her.
TOOTIE
Mrs. Garrett.
Tootie and Mrs. Garrett hug. Then Tootie turns and hugs Natalie. Blair walks over to them.
BLAIR
There you are. Let's go.
TOOTIE
It's so hard to believe.
BLAIR
No, it's not. Let's go.
Blair walks off. Tootie looks at Mrs. Garrett for help.
MRS. GARRETT
Let's go. She's angry. We have to be patient.
TOOTIE
I don't think I'll make it.
Blair walks back.
BLAIR
We don't have time to socialize.
MRS. GARRETT
Blair, do you-
BLAIR
No. I need you all to listen to me.
Blair walks off.
TOOTIE
I'm not gonna make it.
Mrs. Garrett smiles and puts her arm around Tootie. The three of them walk off.
INT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- DAY
Blair walks into the house. Natalie, Mrs. Garrett and Tootie follow. Steve is sitting on the couch with Lindsey, Catherine and Michael. They are watching TV.
BLAIR
What are you doing?
STEVE
Watching TV.
BLAIR
I know that. But why?
STEVE
Because we wanted to.
BLAIR
You know I hate that. I don't allow them to watch TV during the day. It's a beautiful day out and you're letting them rot their brains.
LINDSEY
Mommy, it's a cartoon.
BLAIR
Lindsey, I don't care. No television when they could be outside enjoying what is left of the day.
STEVE
You don't think you're overreacting?
BLAIR
No, I don't.
MRS. GARRETT
Hi, I'm Edna.
STEVE
Steve. Friend of Blair's.
BLAIR
Yeah, sure.
STEVE
What is that supposed to mean?
BLAIR
Catherine, go take your brother and sister and play in the backyard.
CATHERINE
What a familiar sight? My mother having a fight with a guy. He could be my next father.
Natalie and Tootie exchange a look. Blair glares at her daughter and starts to make her way over to her. Mrs. Garrett gets herself in between of them.
MRS. GARRETT
Wait, wait Blair. No. Kids go outside.
Catherine, Michael and Lindsey race outside. Mrs. Garrett holds Blair.
MRS. GARRETT
Blair, calm down. Breathe. You can talk to her later.
STEVE
Blair-
BLAIR
Shut up, Steve.
STEVE
Fine. What are you gonna do? Push everyone out of your life?
BLAIR
I just want to be left alone.
STEVE
Well, you're doing a great job at making that happen.
Blair looks at him. Steve storms out.
BLAIR
Steve.
Blair loosens herself from Mrs. Garrett's grip. She races outside.
EXT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- CONTINUOUS
Blair races out. She sees Steve get into his car. She races up to it and gets into the car.
INT. STEVE'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
Blair buckles up as Steve watches her.
STEVE
Get out of my car.
BLAIR
No.
STEVE
Fine.
Steve tears out of the driveway.
BLAIR
Slow down.
STEVE
No.
BLAIR
You are such a bastard.
STEVE
I'm a bastard. Who's the one screaming and treating everyone like they're beneath her?
BLAIR
You have no clue.
STEVE
Jo meant as much to me as she did to you.
BLAIR
No, she didn't. Slow down.
STEVE
You afraid.
BLAIR
Yes. Steve.
STEVE
You are spoiled and selfish and it's no surprise to me that you've gone through three marriages.
BLAIR
Oh yeah, you're the one who marries psychos! You're an immature, selfish wimp!
STEVE
Always agreed with Jo, we would've made a nice couple. You and me. We always made a nice team. But no-
BLAIR
Steve, the road. Please and we wouldn't have made a good couple. You're too immature-
STEVE
And poor.
BLAIR
I never said that.
STEVE
Yes, you did.
BLAIR
When? And can you watch it?
STEVE
Hey, you got into the car. I think you're manipulative.
BLAIR
You just said you thought we'd make a good team.
STEVE
I lied.
BLAIR
You're an ass.
STEVE
Learned from the best.
BLAIR
Watch out.
Steve overshoots the turn and heads right into a tree. Blair's eyes widen. She has a look of sheer terror on her face. Steve presses the brake--hard. The stop, missing the tree by a quarter of an inch. Both Blair and Steve fly forward. Steve looks at Blair. Blair stares straight ahead. She gets out of the car. Steve gets out of the car.
EXT. STREET -- CONTINUOUS
Blair is trying very hard to regain her composure. Steve walks up to her and puts his hand on her shoulder.
STEVE
I am so sorry.
Blair looks at him.
BLAIR
I hate you. I hate you.
STEVE
I-
BLAIR
My G-d. Why did you-what the hell-I hate you-
He tries to hold her. She hits him. He tries to restrain her, but she keeps hitting him. She starts to break down.
BLAIR
You're a maniac. You're nuts. I hate you. You are never there and you just-you don't drive when you're angry and I-I-it's your fault. I never wanted to go to Disneyland. I never wanted-and now she's gone. It's your fault. She left and you-you-
She can't speak anymore because she is crying to hard. Steve holds her. She tries to recompose herself and pushes him away.
BLAIR
No. And don't say you understand. You don't.
Another car drives up to Steve's car. Tootie and Natalie get out.
TOOTIE
We followed you.
NATALIE
Mrs. Garrett is babysitting.
BLAIR
None of you understand. You never cared about Jo. I did. I was there. I said goodbye. I was her friend. You two left. She was my best friend. Not yours. You never got it. It was you two and then my counterpart was Jo and Jo left. She can't leave. I need my better half.
TOOTIE
Blair.
BLAIR
Shut up, Tootie.
NATALIE
You still have us.
BLAIR
I lost you two a long time ago.
Blair walks off. Tootie, Natalie and Steve exchange looks.
INT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- LATER
Mrs. Garrett is sitting on the couch. Catherine, Lindsey and Michael are resting around her.
CATHERINE
I didn't mean what I said, Mrs. Garrett.
MRS. GARRETT
I know.
CATHERINE
It's just my mom-she's beautiful and she should have a husband.
MRS. GARRETT
Catherine, when your mom was in high school the one thing she wanted was one husband and children. I think she still does.
CATHERINE
You know that guy that was here? Steve?
MRS. GARRETT
Yeah.
CATHERINE
He's great.
LINDSEY
We want them to get married.
MICHAEL
They won't.
CATHERINE
Do you know understand what makes my mother tick? I mean, here's someone that's so great and he's always here.
LINDSEY
And he's really nice.
MICHAEL
And funny. Taught me baseball.
CATHERINE
But instead of saying okay, she marries these guys that are icky.
LINDSEY
My daddy slept over at someone's house and it wasn't mommy. But he lives there now.
MRS. GARRETT
I'm so sorry.
MICHAEL
So did my daddy.
CATHERINE
And Steve has never slept over at anyone's house. And my dad...well, mom won't talk about him.
Mrs. Garrett let's this sink in. Blair opens the door and walks in. She looks just emotionally worn over, like she's been over by a truck several thousand times.
BLAIR
(weakly)
Hi.
LINDSEY
Mommy.
MRS. GARRETT
Hi, Blair.
Lindsey races up to Blair. Blair picks her up and holds her. She kisses the top of her head. Blair tries her best to be cheery. Mrs. Garrett smiles.
BLAIR
Come on, kids. Time to go to sleep.
MICHAEL
Is Steve never gonna come over again?
BLAIR
I don't know, Michael. I don't know.
MICHAEL
I liked him.
BLAIR
I know.
LINDSEY
Me too.
Blair puts Lindsey down.
BLAIR
Kids, go upstairs and get ready for bed. I'll be up in a minute to tuck you in.
Lindsey, Michael and Catherine walk to the stairs.
CATHERINE
Mom, can we talk?
BLAIR
Later.
CATHERINE
I'm sorry.
BLAIR
I know.
The three kids walk up the stairs. Blair walks over to the couch.
BLAIR
Thank you, Mrs. Garrett.
MRS. GARRETT
My pleasure.
BLAIR
How much do I owe you?
MRS. GARRETT
Nothing. How are you doing?
Blair collapses on the couch.
BLAIR
Why do people keep asking me that?
(sarcastic)
I'm doing just fabulous. I've been a jerk to my friends, my kids, the one guy in my life that means more to me than anything and I lost my best friend. And I just feeling like running barefoot through a field of daises.
MRS. GARRETT
No need for sarcasm.
BLAIR
I'm sorry. I don't want to talk about this now.
MRS. GARRETT
You did good. With these kids. They got a great mom.
Blair smiles. She sits up.
BLAIR
Really.
MRS. GARRETT
I was proud.
BLAIR
Oh, that makes my day Mrs. Garrett. You don't understand.
MRS. GARRETT
I have an idea.
BLAIR
Catherine's got a mouth.
MRS. GARRETT
Like mother, like daughter.
BLAIR
I was never-yeah, maybe I was.
Blair smiles.
MRS. GARRETT
A smile. Wow, Blair. She just wants you to be happy.
BLAIR
Me too.
MRS. GARRETT
What about Steve?
BLAIR
Don't start.
MRS. GARRETT
What? Your kids love him and I know you do.
BLAIR
He's my best friend. I couldn't see my life without him. I already lost one best friend, I can't lose two.
MRS. GARRETT
Who says you'd lose him?
BLAIR
It seems to be a pattern.
MRS. GARRETT
You have your kids.
BLAIR
(sarcasm)
And my health.
MRS. GARRETT
Are you mocking me?
BLAIR
(smiling)
Just a little.
MRS. GARRETT
I thought I gave you amazing advice.
BLAIR
You did. It sounded like it came off a pillow.
MRS. GARRETT
Alright, alright. I'll give you grown up advice now. What are you now, 35?
BLAIR
(distasteful)
Yeah.
MRS. GARRETT
Let's see, advice for a 35 year old woman?
(she thinks)
Grow up.
BLAIR
What?
MRS. GARRETT
Look, this is hard. I know what Jo meant to you. I know...maybe don't know exactly what she meant to you. I'm not you. But eventually you're gonna wanna tell people. So don't push them away. I mean, if you do end up alone, it'll be because of you. No one else.
Blair lets this sink in.
BLAIR
I liked the advice off the pillows better.
They laugh.
BLAIR
Alright, I'll be right back. I have three children to tuck in.
Blair gets up and walks upstairs.
INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM -- MOMENTS LATER
Michael is in bed. Blair walks in and tucks him in.
BLAIR
Good night.
MICHAEL
I want Steve as a daddy.
BLAIR
You do?
MICHAEL
Yeah. He taught me how to throw a curveball.
BLAIR
Good night, Mike.
MICHAEL
Also, I think we need another man in the house.
BLAIR
I agree.
Blair smiles. She kisses him on the top of the head.
MICHAEL
I don't wanna grow up with just girls. Cause Lindsey and Catherine are gross.
BLAIR
Do you think I'm gross?
MICHAEL
No. But you're not a girl.
BLAIR
Good night.
Blair walks out.
INT. LINDSEY'S BEDROOM -- MOMENTS LATER
Blair walks into Lindsey's room.
BLAIR
Sweetie, it's time to go to bed.
LINDSEY
Why did Jo leave?
BLAIR
I don't know. I guess it was time.
LINDSEY
How old was she?
BLAIR
34.
LINDSEY
That's old.
BLAIR
I'm 35.
LINDSEY
Oh. But Gail wasn't old?
BLAIR
No, she wasn't.
Catherine walks into the bedroom, Michael is behind her.
BLAIR
Catherine. Michael.
CATHERINE
Why did they leave?
BLAIR
Sit.
Catherine and Michael sit on either side of their mom.
BLAIR
I don't know why they left. I wish I did. Because I would do anything for answer.
CATHERINE
Someone said that they're angels in heaven now. But I don't want angels.
BLAIR
Me neither.
CATHERINE
I don't want them to be in heaven. Gail is supposed to be my best friend, Jo is supposed to be yours and how dare they leave. They had no right.
MICHAEL
Well, I don't think they chose it.
CATHERINE
So?
BLAIR
They didn't. But-
CATHERINE
What was Jo like when she was our age?
BLAIR
I met her when we were 15. She was tough and didn't take anything from people, especially me. But inside, she was amazing. She would rip into me like no one I've ever met but then if someone else made fun of me and she caught them. She would get them. I was the maid of honor at her wedding. She had a strength to her. And I hope the three of you become that strong.
LINDSEY
Was she an angel?
Blair laughs at the thought.
BLAIR
You kidding? You wanna know we became roommates in the first place?
CATHERINE
Yes.
BLAIR
We got into trouble. We hotwired the school van and used fake ID's to get into a 21 and over club.
LINDSEY
What's hotwiring?
BLAIR
Stole. And if you three ever do that, I will come after you. Believe me, Jo was no angel. But she was pretty cool.
MICHAEL
Where is she? If she's not an angel.
BLAIR
Well, she's-
CATHERINE
She's 6 feet under.
BLAIR
Catherine.
CATHERINE
Well, she is.
LINDSEY
(worried)
Mommy.
CATHERINE
Look, I don't want them looking over us. I want them here. And it's hard for me to believe that.
BLAIR
I know. It's hard for me too. So here's the thing, the four us need to help each other. We need to just be there.
CATHERINE
And Steve.
BLAIR
I don't know.
CATHERINE
Mom, Steve likes you. I've seen it. He's more like a dad than mine who you never talk about.
BLAIR
Cath, I know. And I am so sorry for what I did to you. I only wanted one husband.
CATHERINE
I know. And I'm sorry for everything.
LINDSEY
But if you hadn't had the other two husbands, you wouldn't have had Michael and I.
BLAIR
I wish you all had the same dad.
CATHERINE
We all like Steve.
BLAIR
I will talk to him.
LINDSEY
Do you love him?
BLAIR
Yeah, I do. Well, I like him. I'm not gonna lose him without a fight. Your mother is incredibly stubborn. And that I learned from a friend. Okay, time to go to sleep.
Blair gets up. She tucks Lindsey in. Michael, Catherine and Blair walk into the hallway.
INT. HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS
MICHAEL
Good night.
BLAIR
Good night.
Michael walks off.
CATHERINE
Mom, are you mad at me?
BLAIR
Yes and no. I think we need to hold onto each other. I help you through the loss of Gail and you help me with the loss of Jo.
CATHERINE
Deal.
BLAIR
(stern, she enunciates every word)
But if you ever yell at me or say that kind of thing to me again, you don't even want to know what'll happen to you. Do I make myself clear?
CATHERINE
Yes.
They hug.
BLAIR
Go to sleep. Punk.
Catherine smiles and walks off. Blair walks off in the other direction.
INT. WARNER LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS
Mrs. Garrett is sitting with Natalie and Tootie when Blair walks downstairs. Natalie and Tootie are looking through two giant photo albums.
BLAIR
Hey. I didn't even hear the doorbell.
MRS. GARRETT
I saw them in the window.
BLAIR
What are you two doing?
NATALIE
You clipped all my articles?
TOOTIE
And all my reviews and interviews?
BLAIR
Yeah.
NATALIE
Why?
BLAIR
Why not?
NATALIE
This is amazing.
MRS. GARRETT
Very sweet of you.
Blair sits down.
BLAIR
Well, I'm just a sweet person. Hey, I'm sorry for the way I've been acting.
NATALIE
That's okay. We'll forgive you.
BLAIR
But I don't want you too. I acted like a jerk. I want you to yell and say, Blair you're an ass.
TOOTIE
Blair, you're an ass.
NATALIE
Giant jackass.
TOOTIE
We hate you.
NATALIE
Go away.
TOOTIE
You're just icky.
BLAIR
And I don't want people to assume I'll go back to being this model of perfection. It was like when Nat's dad died and everyone expected you to cheer them and expected you to be the same ole Nat. Funny, energized, sweet and always ready for fun. But you weren't-
NATALIE
I'm still not.
BLAIR
A piece of me died on that plane too.
The group gets silent. They all get uncomfortable.
NATALIE
Tell me about Steve.
BLAIR
No.
NATALIE
Come on.
Tootie and Natalie pester her. Blair shakes her head.
BLAIR
He works at Eastland. Science teacher. And he's my best friend. And I know we would be great together. Jo used to say that. But I know that if we got married, we'd divorce. It's like what Natalie said.
NATALIE
What did I say?
BLAIR
Remember when we caught your dad kissing that woman? And you asked me how many marriages I would destroy? 3 so far.
NATALIE
I said that to you?
MRS. GARRETT
I remember that.
BLAIR
Yeah.
NATALIE
And you didn't deck me?
BLAIR
I wanted to.
NATALIE
Wait, but the next day, you helped me? Why?
BLAIR
Because I knew you weren't really yelling at me. I was just in the line of fire and I kept telling myself. You were yelling at me cause the person you wanted to yell at wasn't there.
NATALIE
Sorta like now.
BLAIR
Exactly.
NATALIE
Oh, Blair, I-well-I apologize.
TOOTIE
You should.
BLAIR
That's alright.
TOOTIE
How are you so sure you're gonna divorce if you don't give it a chance?
BLAIR
I don't know. I want him and I know it's always been him. But if he left me...
NATALIE
Maybe you need to take that chance. That what stuff like Jo dying or my dad's death teaches you. Take advantage of things because you don't know when it'll leave. Steve's been there for you for how long?
BLAIR
13 years. We spend every Valentine's Day together. Even when I was married. I spent Valentine's Day with him.
TOOTIE
Oh my, you are married.
BLAIR
We are. Just haven't made it legal yet.
NATALIE
Do it. You don't know what'll happen tomorrow.
The group gets quiet again. This hits Blair. They all try to think of something to talk about.
MRS. GARRETT
Hey, can I borrow your kitchen?
BLAIR
Of course, Mrs. Garrett.
MRS. GARRETT
And if I wanted to make cookies-
BLAIR
I have three children under the age of 13. Of course I have stuff to make cookies.
MRS. GARRETT
Would you girls like to join me?
BLAIR
It wouldn't be the same.
NATALIE
Yeah, you'd be helping.
Blair looks at her as they get up.
NATALIE
Hey, you wanted us to treat you like we always did.
TOOTIE
That's true. Princess Blair, I advise you not to wear your tiara in the kitchen.
Blair laughs.
BLAIR
It's in the shop. And I prefer queen Blair.
They laugh as they walk to the kitchen. There's a knock at the door.
NATALIE
She did that on purpose.
TOOTIE
It was one of her brilliant ideas.
BLAIR
You don't even say it right.
(silly)
Retreat to the kitchen, my dears, your royal highness must attend to her fans.
Mrs. Garrett, Tootie and Natalie walk into the kitchen. Blair opens the door. It's Steve, carrying roses.
STEVE
Am so, so, so sorry for today. I wasn't thinking. I know you're scared and I-
BLAIR
It's okay, Steve.
STEVE
Look, at it this way. I was helping you face your fears.
BLAIR
Didn't help. Come in.
Tootie walks back.
TOOTIE
Hey, Blair where's the-
(she stops)
Ooo, someone's in trouble.
Blair laughs.
BLAIR
I'll be there in a minute.
Tootie walks out.
STEVE
Here.
He hands her the roses.
BLAIR
Thanks.
STEVE
And about the stuff I said-
BLAIR
Know. I'm just-
STEVE
Angry?
BLAIR
Yeah. And I am so, so sorry too....Steve, I can't lose you....I just...I can't.
STEVE
You won't. I'll be here if you need to vent.
BLAIR
I know. And I will vent. I know that I do want you and I just don't want to lose you.
STEVE
You won't. Blair, I'm not leaving. I will never intentionally leave or hurt you. You know that, don't you?
BLAIR
Yeah.
STEVE
And if I wanted to leave you, I would've done it long ago. I'm in this for the long run.
BLAIR
Really?
STEVE
Yeah...you're a tough person to love Warner, but I wouldn't want it any other way.
BLAIR
You love me?
STEVE
Ehhh.
Blair smiles.
BLAIR
Well, I think I kinda like you too.
STEVE
Good.
BLAIR
I'll call you.
STEVE
Okay. Can I call tomorrow-
BLAIR
No. I will call you.
STEVE
Okay.
BLAIR
And Steve-
Blair walks over to him and kisses his cheek.
BLAIR
We do make a good team.
Steve touches her arm and kisses her forehead.
BLAIR
And when I'm ready-
STEVE
I know.
They exchange a look. He walks out. Blair smells the roses and smiles. She walks into the kitchen.
INT. FUNERAL HOME -- MORNING
The room is completely packed. Blair is sitting with Catherine on one side of her and empty chair on the other. Tootie, Jeff, Natalie and Snake are sitting in the row in front. Mrs. Garrett is sitting next to Catherine.
BLAIR
How are you doing, Mrs. G?
Mrs. Garrett smiles as Blair pats her hand.
MRS. GARRETT
You four girls. I watched you grow up. I watched Tootie roller skate everywhere, Natalie become a journalist, Blair, you become a beautiful young woman and Jo.
BLAIR
Cath, let's switch seats real quick.
Catherine and Blair switch. Blair puts her arm around Mrs. Garrett.
MRS. GARRETT
You four were like daughters and a mother is never supposed to outlive her child.
Tootie and Natalie turn around.
TOOTIE
It doesn't seem real.
NATALIE
Feel like she's gonna walk in here any minute-
BLAIR
With her motorcycle.
TOOTIE
That thing was surgically attached to her.
BLAIR
She gave it away.
NATALIE
When?
BLAIR
When you and Tootie moved into the attic adjoining our room. She didn't have enough money to pay for her share so she sold it.
NATALIE
We didn't know that.
TOOTIE
That's why she got the bed by the window instead of you?
BLAIR
That was my idea.
NATALIE
I remember your arguments.
BLAIR
Me too. But we always ended up all right. Remember when we got handcuffed together? That was great.
Blair laughs.
TOOTIE
Not really.
NATALIE
Oh, we still need to get back at you for that.
TOOTIE
Although, seeing Blair with her hair dyed green did it for me.
BLAIR
That's why I did it.
CATHERINE
Mom, why did you dye her hair green?
NATALIE
She was lonely.
BLAIR
Go away.
Steve walks over to them.
STEVE
Is this seat taken?
BLAIR
Steve?
STEVE
I thought I should come.
BLAIR
Yeah. Thanks.
CATHERINE
Should I switch seats again?
Blair looks at Catherine.
STEVE
Where are Michael and Lindsey?
BLAIR
Home with Lizzie. They're too young.
STEVE
And you?
CATHERINE
I wanted to say good bye. Gail's here.
BLAIR
Honey, no, no. Not a good thing to say to your mother.
The priest stands up. Everyone turns to face the front.
PRIEST
May I have your attention?
CATHERINE
Are you ready, mom?
BLAIR
No.
Blair puts her arm around her daughter and holds her, tightly.
PRIEST
We are here today to remember a remarkable young woman taken from us too soon. But instead of me saying words, Blair Warner who was in charge of putting this together decided to make a forum where people can share their memories. Blair?
Blair gets up and walks over to the front. She looks at everyone.
BLAIR
Fights. Yelling. Screaming. Blondie. Barbarian. Anyone who lived with us or knew us knows that this is all too true. She was stubborn, so was I. She was my best friend. I can't say it enough. Tootie, Natalie, Blair and Jo. Four Musketeers now down to three. We each had our place in the group. Tootie was the baby. Our resident gossip, but she knew when to keep her mouth shut. Natalie, kept us laughing. Me, the perfect one. Although, I think the three of you other had other ideas.
We fade into a montage of clips from the eight years they had together. We show clips of them talking, fighting, laughing, making up, comforting each other. Just being friends. We hear Green Day's "Time of Your Life" song in the background. We fade back to Blair, finishing her speech.
BLAIR
And in memory of my friend, my best friend, Jo. Wherever you are, I miss you. Thank you.
Blair walks towards her seat as people start to applaud. She sits back down.
CATHERINE
Mom, that was great.
MRS. GARRETT
I was proud.
TOOTIE
Me too.
BLAIR
Funny. First time in my life I didn't want to be the center of attention.
Mrs. Garrett grabs Blair's hand.
BLAIR
Hey, Nat.
NATALIE
Yeah?
BLAIR
Thank you for helping with the speech.
NATALIE
No problem. You were perfect.
BLAIR
Naturally.
Natalie smiles and turns back.
EXT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- DAY
There are people everywhere, eating, drinking and socializing. Natalie, Blair and Tootie are standing together near the pool.
TOOTIE
You're kids are so gorgeous. Lindsey is so cute and precious and Catherine is you.
NATALIE
And Michael, I just want to hug and kiss him all over the place.
BLAIR
Oh, he still thinks girls are gross. Although, between us. I caught him taking a second glance at Sandra Bullock on TV the other day.
The three laugh.
BLAIR
Hey, Nat can I ask you, everytime I've laughed in the past few days, I feel horrible. I can't laugh. I have no right to have fun when Jo's dead.
NATALIE
It'll go away. It's the healing process. You will be able to laugh without dying inside...soon.
BLAIR
Do you have a set date?
NATALIE
No.
BLAIR
Also, can I ask you three a huge favor?
TOOTIE
Of course.
BLAIR
Well, can we keep in touch? Please? I know we promised before and then the group split in half. Which was fine until I got screwed over and my half left and now I really don't have any friends. I have Steve and my kids. But I don't have any adult female friends.
TOOTIE
Blair, do you even have to ask?
NATALIE
Of course, we'll be your friends.
BLAIR
Thanks.
NATALIE
We've always been. We just need to try a lot harder now.
The girls look at each other and continue to talk.
INT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- EVENING
Blair, Mrs. Garrett, Tootie and Natalie are standing by the door.
TOOTIE
What a day.
BLAIR
You're telling me.
NATALIE
So we meet for breakfast tomorrow?
BLAIR
I'm there. And then we'll drop Tootie and Mrs. Garrett to the airport.
MRS. GARRETT
It's a plan.
TOOTIE
I'm going back to the hotel. I am so tired.
Tootie hugs Mrs. Garrett and Natalie and then looks at Blair.
BLAIR
You can hug me. I don't want to be left out.
Tootie smiles and hugs her.
BLAIR
Good night.
NATALIE
Hey, Tootie I'll walk you to your car. I'm gonna head home too. Good night.
Natalie hugs Mrs. Garrett and Blair.
NATALIE
How are you doing?
BLAIR
Not well. But I'm glad you're here.
Natalie and Tootie leave.
MRS. GARRETT
I'm gonna leave too. But, I want to you know I am so proud of you.
BLAIR
Oh come on, I acted like a jerk and I feel bad and I-
MRS. GARRETT
Yeah, but you cared. You were there. Blair, you've really done well and I'm proud. I mean, so you're angry. You've got every right to be.
BLAIR
I don't need anyone validating it.
MRS. GARRETT
I know. Just when you're ready, we'll help.
BLAIR
I know you will. Tootie will, Natalie, Steve. I'm just not ready yet. I don't want it yet. Because I then just act like a jerk and I feel ten times worse already and then people say but I understand. But I just acted badly. There shouldn't be an excuse. I mean, have I ever not asked for help when I needed it?
MRS. GARRETT
No.
BLAIR
And I do need it and I will. But not right now. And I don't want anyone saying, "I understand". Because I hate that.
Mrs. Garrett smiles.
MRS. GARRETT
Deal.
BLAIR
Oh, and thanks for calling my children amazing. It's amazing. Three people more perfect than I am.
Mrs. Garrett laughs.
MRS. GARRETT
Good night.
BLAIR
Good night.
Blair and Mrs. Garrett hug. Mrs. Garrett leaves. Blair closes the door and leans up against it. She slides down to the floor. Steve walks down the stairs. He looks at her.
STEVE
(joking)
You look bad. Certainly less than perfect.
BLAIR
(relieved)
Thanks.
STEVE
What?
BLAIR
I know you were just making fun. But finally the truth. All day, oh Blair you look beautiful. Exquisite. No, I don’t. I haven’t slept in weeks, my eyes are puffy and swollen, my hair looks awful. In what country does this look good? I do not look good. Stop lying. I feel like crap enough with out people lying to me.
STEVE
I know, they should just tell you you’re ugly.
Blair laughs.
BLAIR
When will this stop? And you know what else I hate? When people say I'm sorry. Why? That's not gonna fix anything. Did they do something? I'm sorry. You say sorry when you bump into someone. You know what someone said to me today, "it's okay Blair, you'll make other friends. It's not like losing a family member."
STEVE
Someone said that?
BLAIR
Yeah, well don't worry about that person. I think they're still at the bottom of my pool.
Steve collapses onto the couch.
STEVE
I wouldn't be surprised.
BLAIR
Another mess I'll have to clean up. Like I'll make other friends and suddenly Jo will be gone. I don't want-20 years of my life, I'm not gonna forget her. Ever. Nor do I want to.
STEVE
Nor should you.
BLAIR
Someone should write a book called, What Not to Say to People in Mourning. I'm sure it'd be a best seller.
STEVE
I put Lindsey and Michael to bed and helped Cath with her homework. She didn't want to do it, but I thought it would help take her mind off things. Seemed to work.
BLAIR
Thanks.
STEVE
Now, I can help put you to bed?
BLAIR
Ha. Ha.
Blair gets up and walks over to the couch. Steve lies down and Blair lies down next to him. He holds her.
BLAIR
Thanks.
STEVE
What I'm here for.
BLAIR
I don't want you to leave.
STEVE
I won't.
BLAIR
I want everyone to leave me alone. Except you.
STEVE
I'm not going to.
BLAIR
Good. We make a great team.
STEVE
We do.
The two of them fall asleep.
THE END
INT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- MORNING
Blair Warner, 35, walks into her living room. Everything about her looks perfect. She is wearing a very stylish, expensive looking dress. Not a hair out of place, her make up looks great. But something about her looks less than perfect. Her eyes look worn, like they have seen more than their fair share of tears. No amount of make up could cover it up. She walks over to the couch and sits down. She picks up a magazine and skims through it. Three young children run into the room. Two girls and a little boy. The first girl, Catherine 12 is the spinning of her mother as a brunette. The boy, Michael, 8 has shaggy brown hair and big brown eyes and the youngest, Lindsey, 6 has blonde hair and big crystal blue eyes. She looks like she belongs to someone else. All three kids look almost model-esque. The kids race up to their mom. They are all carrying gifts. Lindsey jumps into her mom's lap. Blair makes a soft reflex grunting noise as her daughter pounces on her. Blair grabs her and hugs her. The other to sit on either side of her.
BLAIR
Hey, there Lindsey. What to you got there?
LINDSEY
Present. Happy birthday, mommy. I made you a present.
Lindsey shows Blair the painting.
BLAIR
(genuine)
That's gorgeous. Is that you?
LINDSEY
That's me and you and Michael and Catherine. I didn't put daddy in it cause you don't like him.
BLAIR
I like him. He gave me you. Each one of your dads gave me a great present.
CATHERINE
Yeah, a divorce.
Blair looks at Catherine.
BLAIR
No.
CATHERINE
Hey, Linds, why is mom green?
LINDSEY
(matter-of-fact)
Cause I couldn't find the orange.
BLAIR
I think it looks beautiful. I've always thought I looked good in green. Next gift.
MICHAEL
Mine, mine.
Michael hands her a gift. Blair opens it. It's a necklace and bracelet made out of paper clips and ribbon.
CATHERINE
What did you do? Make that in math.
BLAIR
(genuine)
I love it. I saw this in Tiffanys.
Blair puts it on.
BLAIR
Cath, you're next.
CATHERINE
Aunt Jo helped.
Catherine gives it to her. Blair looks at her and opens it. It's a picture frame, inside is a picture of Blair, Tootie, Natalie and Jo from a long time ago. They are standing in their uniforms and smiling. Blair is speechless. She smiles.
BLAIR
Wow.
LINDSEY
Who's that mommy?
BLAIR
This was taken in 1980. I'm old. That's me and aunt Jo-
LINDSEY
Why is Aunt Jo's tie coming off?
BLAIR
She didn't know how to dress herself back then. Back then, she had two outfits that she wore over and over again. This uniform and some army get up.
LINDSEY
Who are those?
BLAIR
Who are they? This is Natalie.
MICHAEL
She has no eyeballs.
LINDSEY
(incredulous)
She has no eyeballs.
MICHAEL
Stop repeating.
LINDSEY
Mommy.
BLAIR
She has eyeballs.
CATHERINE
Where?
BLAIR
Oh, my I never noticed that. They're in there.
(excited)
There, there, I see it. A pupil. Okay, and that is Tootie.
MICHAEL
Tootie? That's a stupid name.
CATHERINE
I know, she must've gotten teased. Tootie, Rootie, Fruity, Snooty. Fresh and Fruity.
BLAIR
Hey. Her real name was Dorothy. She chose that name.
CATHERINE
How do you get Tootie from Dorothy?
BLAIR
It's so obvious. Two O's.
(wondering)
How did she get Tootie?
(then)
Well, those two I haven't talked to in ages.
CATHERINE
Well, isn't she in the movies?
BLAIR
Tootie? Yeah. She has one coming out. I'm her biggest fan. I think I've seen every movie.
There's a knock on the door.
BLAIR
I think that's Aunt Jo. Hey, kids, speaking of this picture. I think I know when this was taken. When you open the door. Ask Jo how she feels about men named, Eddie? I'm gonna hide behind the staircase.
They all get up off the couch and walk to the door.
CATHERINE
Who is it?
JO
It's Jo.
Catherine opens the door.
LINDSEY
How do like men named, Eddie?
JO
Okay, so, you don't want a birthday gift?
BLAIR
Get in.
JO
Hey.
LINDSEY
Do you like Eddie? I think you should marry Eddie.
Blair tries to hold in her laughter. Jo shoots her a look of death.
JO
Oh, honey, I really don't think that's gonna happen.
BLAIR
Did once.
JO
Okay, bye.
BLAIR
No, no. Jo. Oh come on.
CATHERINE
Did you bring Gail over?
JO
Yeah. She wanted to get some stuff out of the car.
Gail, 10, runs up to her mom. Gail has brownish-blonde hair and giant blue eyes. She is wearing torn jeans and a flannel t-shirt.
GAIL
Hey, Cath.
CATHERINE
What are you wearing?
GAIL
I'm sorry I didn't feel the need to wear a ball gown to go next door.
CATHERINE
Well, really, are you stealing jeans from homeless people?
GAIL
No, actually, weren't they yours?
Catherine and Gail walk off.
CATHERINE
I would never wear something that hideous.
GAIL
Have you looked in the mirror lately?
They continue fighting as they walk off.
BLAIR
Remind you of anyone?
JO
A bit.
The two women hug.
JO
Happy birthday.
BLAIR
Thanks. How's Rick?
JO
He's great. He has a concert next week. You wanna come?
BLAIR
I'd love too. Lindsey, Michael why don't you two go upstairs and play.
LINDSEY
Bye Aunt Jo.
MICHAEL
Bye.
JO
Bye.
Michael and Lindsey race upstairs.
JO
Guess where he's playing?
BLAIR
Someone's garage.
JO
No. I think even you would admit that this is good. Even Ms. Warner herself would admit that I have made it into the elite.
BLAIR
What? You're playing Carnegie Hall?
Jo looks at her and smiles. Blair is stunned.
BLAIR
No. You are not.
JO
Yes. Well, Rick is.
BLAIR
He is playing Carnegie Hall.
JO
Uh-huh.
BLAIR
Like professionally, not like a janitor or anything?
JO
Yes, Blair I'm inviting you to see how he holds a mop.
BLAIR
That's amazing.
JO
I know.
BLAIR
Oh and thank you for helping with Catherine's gift. This is something-I'm gonna keep this by my bed.
JO
I thought you'd like it.
BLAIR
Speaking of Tootie and Nat, the Saturday after the Carnegie Hall thing, Tootie's new movie, Night of the Journey opens. And-
Blair walks over to the bookcase and takes out a portfolio. She walks back to the couch and opens it.
JO
I love that necklace. Is that the new style?
BLAIR
My son gave it to me. It's amazing. Anyway, I clipped this out this morning. Natalie's article in today's New York Times.
JO
Pretty good.
BLAIR
I know. And I put the reviews of Tootie's last movie, Vampire Legends into Tootie's scrapbook yesterday. You know, they say she maybe nominated for an Oscar for that.
JO
What is this? Her fourth one.
BLAIR
She's been nominated five times, won once. So are we going in two weeks to see Tootie's movie?
JO
You may. Remember? Rick, Gail and I are going to Los Angeles. Rick's playing the Hollywood Bowl.
BLAIR
Oh. I thought you weren't going?
JO
Wasn't but then I figured I needed a break. School's almost done for Gail and I'm just emotionally worn out from the shelter. Why don't you and the kids come with us? If anyone deserves a break more-
BLAIR
No, I can't.
JO
Come on, the headmistress of Eastland can take a break especially when her third divorce is gonna be final in two weeks.
BLAIR
Third divorce. How sad is that? Three times. I'm turning into my mother.
JO
You're not.
BLAIR
Yes. Three times, three kids. Not the fairy tale I had in mind.
JO
You'll meet him. I still say it's Steve.
BLAIR
Steve? Steve Nelson, Steve? Steve I've known for 13 years and is like my brother I never wanted, Steve.
JO
Yes, that's the one.
BLAIR
No.
JO
Come on, you're perfect for each other. And he loves your kids.
BLAIR
No. He's not-not-
JO
Not up to the Warner standards?
BLAIR
No.
JO
He's not Warner wealthy?
Blair looks at Jo. She won't admit it, but Jo is right.
JO
You won't date him cause he's not wealthy?
BLAIR
Monetarily speaking, I am worth-
JO
Less?
BLAIR
No, no, I'm talking about me. Not you.
JO
I was talking about you too.
BLAIR
Why am I your friend?
JO
Cause no one else will take the job.
BLAIR
Yeah, let's count all the friends you have. Shall we? Okay, there's me and....oh, my that's all.
JO
Come with us to Los Angeles. Unless you wanna stay while Adam comes and takes the rest of his stuff out of here.
BLAIR
I thought he was the one. Every year I was married longer than the last. Jack and I were married 1 year, Tom and I, 3 years and Adam and I, 5 years. I thought 5....longest I've ever been married. Why don't I seem to keep it. I never wanna get married again.
JO
You're 35-
BLAIR
3 marriages before 35. G-d, I'm a lo-lo-loser.
JO
I've never heard that come out of your mouth.
BLAIR
What would you call it?
JO
Bad choices.
BLAIR
And poor Catherine. She's going through what I went through. Three fathers before she even becomes a teenager. It's worse than what I went through. I mean, the one thing I wanted in life was to never let my children go through what I went through with a different dad every couple of years. And I failed.
JO
No, you didn't.
There's a knock at the door. Blair gets up and answers the door. It's Steve. Steve tall and very handsome. He and Blair have a very joke-y relationship where they are constantly teasing, but underneath it all, they have a deep love for each other.
STEVE
Hey, my favorite divorcee.
BLAIR
My favorite geek.
STEVE
So, what? Tenth time?
BLAIR
No, I plan on reaching that by the time I turn 40.
STEVE
Good luck.
BLAIR
Thanks.
JO
Hey, Steve.
STEVE
Joseph!
JO
Stephanie!
STEVE
Happy Birthday, Blair.
JO
You know, I was thinking Steve, you and Blair might make a cute couple.
BLAIR
But he's funny looking, Jo.
STEVE
Yeah, you're attractive. Nice roots.
BLAIR
It's natural.
STEVE
Maybe the bottle.
Steve puts his arm around Blair and walks with her back to the couch. They almost look like twins separated at birth.
JO
Hey, Rick's playing Carnegie Hall Saturday night. You wanna come?
STEVE
Is she fixing us up?
BLAIR
It appears.
STEVE
What's he playing in Carnegie Hall?
BLAIR
That's like the worst joke ever.
STEVE
Hey, those who know Ventriloquism should never speak.
BLAIR
It's an art.
STEVE
It's stupid.
BLAIR
You're jealous.
STEVE
No, I just really don't care if your lips don't move.
JO
Actually, I'd like it if they didn't.
STEVE
I'll get the duct tape.
JO
I'll get the rope.
BLAIR
You do, and I'll hurt you both.
The three continue to talk and laugh as Blair opens her gifts.
INT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- EVENING
Blair walks downstairs. She looks beautiful. Behind her is a fifteen year old girl, Lizzie. Lizzie is babysitting.
BLAIR
Lizzie, here are the emergency numbers and the number of Carnegie hall and-
There's a knock at the door. Blair walks over to it.
LIZZIE
Ms. Warner-
BLAIR
Lizzie, when you're at Eastland, Ms. Warner. When you're babysitting my children-
LIZZIE
Sorry, Blair. I've done this a lot. 28 times and counting.
Blair opens the door. It's Steve. He is in a tux. He looks very sexy. Blair is stunned.
BLAIR
Wow, you clean up nicely.
STEVE
So do you.
Lizzie smiles.
LIZZIE
Hi Mr. Nelson.
STEVE
Liz. How are you?
LIZZIE
Good. Grade the Bio tests yet?
STEVE
Yes.
LIZZIE
And?
Steve shakes his head. Lizzie's face falls.
BLAIR
I'm sorry, Lizzie.
LIZZIE
That's alright. Have fun.
BLAIR
Okay.
Blair and Steve walk out of the house. Lizzie closes the door behind them.
EXT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- CONTINUOUS
Blair and Steve walk towards Steve's car.
BLAIR
What did she get?
Steve looks at her and smiles.
STEVE
A hundred and two. She got the bonus question.
BLAIR
You are such a bastard. We have to tell her-
STEVE
No. No. I want to see the look on her face Monday morning.
BLAIR
Yeah, she will kill you. Or worse. I don't want any deaths at Eastland.
STEVE
It'll be fun.
BLAIR
Where you ever in school? I remember my friend; Natalie got a B on an English paper. She went nuts. More than usual.
They get into the car.
INT. STEVE'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
Steve drives off.
STEVE
Is that one with no eyes?
BLAIR
She had eyes. And could you drive a little slower.
STEVE
Are you okay?
BLAIR
Yeah. It's just I've many bad experiences in cars. Cars and trees.
STEVE
I know. That's why I'm not teasing you about that.
BLAIR
Thanks. It happened right there.
STEVE
What did?
BLAIR
I fell asleep. It was late. 11:30. I had a test the next day. I drove Casey home and then drove back and I opened the windows. I was tired and turned the radio on. New Kids on the Block. I liked them. It was 1988. I was 22. I wasn't supposed to admit that in public. I did. So I pumped them up. And sang. Loud. Top of my lungs. But I couldn't do it and my eyes became heavy and then it stopped. And I woke up for two seconds and I was upside down but curved and then I woke up in a hospital bed.
STEVE
I wish I had been there.
BLAIR
No. I was hideous.
STEVE
I couldn't see you being hideous. Gross, maybe. Never hideous.
Blair smiles and stares out the window. Steve puts his hand on her hand and pats it. Blair stares at it. He puts his hand back on the wheel and Blair looks back out the window. The car drives off.
EXT. CARNEGIE HALL -- EVENING
Blair and Steve walk up to the front where Jo is waiting for them. She looks pretty.
JO
Hey. I was waiting for you. You guys okay?
BLAIR
Yeah. You think I would've gotten over my fear of being in cars by now, but-
JO
Blair, when you almost die in one, it's okay to be afraid.
BLAIR
Thanks for that reminder. Can we not go there?
STEVE
Are you okay?
BLAIR
Yes, I am. Let's go.
Steve puts his arm around her. The three of them walk into the hall.
INT. RESTAURANT -- LATER
Blair, Steve, Rick and Jo are all sitting together eating and talking.
RICK
So, was I okay? Cause I really felt like I sucked.
JO
Honey, they asked you back.
RICK
They didn't mean it.
JO
It was a joke?
STEVE
People at Carnegie Hall never joke.
BLAIR
I know. I have heard that.
RICK
But I played a flat instead of a sharp on that Mozart piece.
STEVE
Do you think anyone noticed?
BLAIR
I did.
STEVE
Except her, cause she's stupid.
BLAIR
Hey, I learn from the best.
RICK
Aren't they cute together?
JO
I think so.
STEVE
Joseph, I'm shocked.
BLAIR
How much did Jo pay you to say that?
RICK
More than what I made tonight.
BLAIR
So, Jo how's Eddie?
JO
I don't know. Maybe he's with Chad.
BLAIR
They would've made a cute couple. The officer and the beast. Oh Jo did you read Nat's article the other day, speaking of Chad?
JO
I was wondering when the perfect time to tease you would be.
STEVE
What? What?
RICK
I want to hear this.
JO
He's in prison. And my dad is convinced, he's married by now.
BLAIR
I know. To a man named, Bubba.
Blair and Jo are cracking up.
BLAIR
What was I thinking?
JO
He brainwashed you. And really, that's not all that hard.
BLAIR
(mock sadness)
Oh, Jo. You've used that joke already.
JO
Well, how long have we been friends? 20 years? I bound to recycle a few.
BLAIR
And Eddie was just-
RICK
Icky.
BLAIR
Couldn't have put it better. I mean, please.
JO
You dated a military man.
BLAIR
Yeah. What was his name? He was a friend of yours? He was-Alfred. No.
JO
Oh my G-d.
BLAIR
What?
JO
I don't remember either.
BLAIR
Billy. Sam. Joe. John. Willis.
JO
I don't remember my old friend's name. Oh, I'm losing my mind. Shut up, Blair.
BLAIR
Too easy. George.
JO
No. Although, remember that guy who helped us with the construction for Over our Heads?
BLAIR
That was George. Gorgeous George.
JO
I thought I saw him on TV the other day. In a show about a hospital?
BLAIR
You think he became an actor?
JO
Well, he had the looks.
BLAIR
You admit it? She never admitted that he was gorgeous.
JO
I did. He was just there to do a job.
BLAIR
(smiling)
I had a job he could'a done. Involving his hands.
JO
(mock shock)
That's disgusting.
Blair gives Jo a look.
BLAIR
Not in my head it wasn't.
RICK
Do we need to be hearing this?
STEVE
No.
BLAIR
Tough.
JO
I know, now, okay what was George doing with his hands.
BLAIR
Everything. Makes Sex in the City look like The Sound of Music. He, he.
Blair and Jo are laughing.
JO
Oh, Blair.
BLAIR
Don't go all innocent on me, missy.
JO
Believe me, I'm not. Mr. Big.
BLAIR
I hope so.
They are cracking up. Rick and Steve are desperate to change the subject. Blair and Jo slowly begin to compose themselves.
RICK
Hey, Steve are you two coming with us to Los Angeles. Jo was telling me-
BLAIR
My divorce is gonna be final-
JO
Blair. We're going to Disneyland. You can be a Musketeer.
STEVE
I have finals coming up. But I can take a break.
BLAIR
I'm not gonna be much fun in the happiest place on Earth.
RICK
Oh, come on Blair. We'll let you wear a hat with your name on it?
BLAIR
I have one already.
JO
And I'm sure Catherine, Michael and Lindsey would be in heaven.
BLAIR
Guys, I'm sorry.
JO
We can visit Tootie?
STEVE
Come on, boss what do you say? Can I have a week off?
BLAIR
Hmm, okay, okay. Well, we need to get tickets. I'll call my dad and see if we can the private jet. You three wanna go on that?
JO
Can't. We already paid for our tickets.
RICK
Non-refundable.
JO
We can't afford to lose money.
BLAIR
Alright. We'll meet you in Los Angeles not this a week from Tuesday. Steve, you have a final to give on Monday.
JO
Tuesday night is the Hollywood Bowl. We'll get you seats.
The foursome continue to talk.
INT. JFK AIRPORT -- MORNING
Blair, Jo, Rick, Steve, Gail, Catherine, Lindsey and Michael are standing together.
JO
So, meet us at this hotel tomorrow tonight and we'll go to dinner.
BLAIR
I'm really looking forward to this.
JO
Yeah, I can tell.
They hug.
BLAIR
Goodbye, Jo.
JO
Bye, Blair. See you soon.
LINDSEY
Mommy, are we going to Disneyland?
BLAIR
Yeah.
LINDSEY
Can I see Mickey?
BLAIR
Yes.
MICHAEL
I like Tigger.
BLAIR
Me too.
RICK
Okay, honey, it's time too go.
JO
Bye.
Jo, Rick and Gail walk off. Steve, Blair, Catherine, Michael and Lindsey wave goodbye.
INT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- NIGHT
Lizzie is watching TV. Blair and Steve walk in.
BLAIR
That movie was amazing. Isn't Tootie great?
STEVE
She is.
BLAIR
Thanks for coming with me. Hey Liz.
Lizzie is mesmerized by the television.
BLAIR
Liz?
They look to see what she is watching. It's a news report of a plane crash.
BLAIR
Oh, my.
STEVE
That's bad.
BLAIR
Jo.
STEVE
That's not Jo.
BLAIR
Oh my G-d, Steve, it's Jo.
STEVE
How do you know?
BLAIR
I don't know. I have a feeling.
NEWSREPORTER
And here is what we are learning about the deadly plane crash of JFAX 300. It headed out of JFK airport this at 9:30 this morning and was headed to LAX. There have been no signs of any survivors.
BLAIR
Oh.
Blair grabs a hold of the back of the couch. She can barely hold herself up.
INT. NEWSROOM -- MORNING
Natalie is hard at work when Stacie walks over to her.
STACIE
Natalie?
NATALIE
Hey, Stacie.
STACIE
I contacted the airlines, here's a fax of the names of the bodies that have been identified.
The phone rings.
NATALIE
Thanks.
(Stacie walks out)
Natalie Green, speaking. Uh-huh. I got it.
Natalie reads and as she reads, her mouth drops. Her face begins to lose color.
NATALIE
No. Wait? Can I call you back? Thanks.
Natalie hangs up. She picks up the phone and dials.
INT. TRAILER -- MOMENTS LATER
Tootie is memorizing lines in her trailer when the phone rings. She picks up.
TOOTIE
Hello?
INT. TRAILER/NEWSROOM -- MORNING
Tootie and Natalie are shown in split screen.
NATALIE
Tootie?
TOOTIE
This is she.
NATALIE
It's Natalie.
TOOTIE
Hey, Nat.
NATALIE
Tootie, have you heard anything about that plan crash?
TOOTIE
Yeah. It's been all over the news.
NATALIE
Someone we know was in that plane.
TOOTIE
What?
NATALIE
I just got a faxed list of the names of the bodies that have been identified.
TOOTIE
And?
NATALIE
Joanna Polnachek Bonner.
TOOTIE
What about her?
NATALIE
Tootie.
TOOTIE
No, she wasn't. We're going to lunch. She can't because we're going to lunch.
NATALIE
Has she called you to let you know she's in?
TOOTIE
And Blair too. Blair and Jo and me.
NATALIE
Blair's not on the list.
TOOTIE
See, then it can't be Jo.
NATALIE
Tootie.
TOOTIE
I gotta go.
NATALIE
Tootie.
TOOTIE
I have to go. I'm eating lunch with Jo and Blair.
Tootie hangs up. We stay on the trailer, the newsroom disappears. Tootie takes a deep breath and picks up the phone. She grabs her address book and takes a yellow post-it off. She dials the number on the post-it.
TOOTIE
Hi, can I have the room for Jo, Rick and Gail Bonner please? What do mean they haven't checked in yet? Yes they have, we have to have lunch today. How about Blair Warner and Steve Nelson? No? They have to check in. We're eating lunch today. They have to be in.
Tootie starts to sob. She hangs up.
TOOTIE
We have to eat lunch today.
INT. NATALIE'S OFFICE -- MOMENTS LATER
Natalie is still staring at the list when there is a knock on her office door. It's Stacie.
STACIE
Natalie.
NATALIE
Yeah?
STACIE
There's a woman out here that says she knows you? Blair Warner? We keep telling her to leave and that you're not here.
NATALIE
Oh, G-d. Send her in.
Stacie walks out. A few seconds later, Blair appears in the doorway. Natalie looks at her. She gets up and walks over to her. Blair is very somber throughout the scene. She barely shows any emotions at all. She is very calm, eerily calm.
BLAIR
I was supposed to take a plane. Another one because I had to work. But I-I didn't.
Natalie picks the list up off her desk. She hands it to her.
NATALIE
Here's a list of some of the victims.
Blair looks at it.
BLAIR
Yeah. She's on it.
Natalie hugs her. Blair makes a face. Although Natalie means well, but that hug is the most painful thing in the world to her right now. Blair shakes herself loose.
BLAIR
I don't want to hug right now.
NATALIE
I'm sorry. Tootie is expecting you for lunch.
BLAIR
She is. I already ate.
NATALIE
Maybe you should call and cancel?
BLAIR
I should. But um, I have to work. I knew you might have the list and I wanted to come and say hello.
NATALIE
Listen, you want to come over tonight. We could talk? I've been through this.
BLAIR
No, I don't.
NATALIE
Maybe when you're ready?
BLAIR
Maybe. But I'm gonna plan a memorial service.
NATALIE
Why? Why you?
BLAIR
Because I have to.
NATALIE
Let me help.
BLAIR
No. I have to go to work.
Blair walks off. Natalie is stunned. She picks up the phone.
INT. TRAILER -- CONTINUOUS
The phone rings. Tootie tries to regain composure as she picks up the phone.
TOOTIE
Hello?
NATALIE
Tootie, it's Natalie.
Tootie is starting to get worried. Throughout the scene, she slowly becomes hysterical.
TOOTIE
You found Warner? Nat, they haven't checked in. Why haven't they checked in? We have reservations in a half hour. They have to be here because we have reservations. They wouldn't cancel on me.
NATALIE
Blair was just here.
TOOTIE
Oh, good, good. So Jo's still alive and they're just late. Really late. I mean, okay, I don't think they'll make it from New York to Los Angeles in a half hour. But alright. I'll change it to dinner.
NATALIE
No, Tootie.
TOOTIE
I'll change it to dinner, Natalie. That will give them enough time. It will. It's only 12:30 here. Or breakfast tomorrow.
NATALIE
Tootie, Blair is here. Jo is-
TOOTIE
Screw you.
NATALIE
Excuse me.
TOOTIE
Screw you. Okay, they will be here. They never cancel without calling. They wouldn't flake on me and Rick has to play at the Hollywood Bowl. He wouldn't miss that. Come on.
NATALIE
Fine, call the Hollywood Bowl and see if he played last night or if he's gonna play tonight.
TOOTIE
I don't have too. Cause I know he did. I have to go.
Tootie hangs up. She tries to regain composure and picks up the phone and dials.
TOOTIE
A listing for the Hollywood Bowl please? Thank you.
INT. BLAIR'S OFFICE -- AFTERNOON
Blair is working when Steve walks in. Blair looks up and then back at her work. She barely looks at Steve.
BLAIR
Knock, please.
STEVE
Sorry. It's 4 o'clock. Time to go home now.
BLAIR
I have work to do Steve. I have to plan this memorial service and I can't believe Tootie isn't listed. Why wouldn't she be listed? Come on. She's not that big.
STEVE
Most actors that make 1.5 million per movie aren't listed.
BLAIR
Well, I think that's really dumb. What if someone wants to get into touch with them.
STEVE
That's probably why they're not listed.
BLAIR
(bitchy)
Gee, aren't you humorous?
STEVE
Do you want help?
BLAIR
No.
STEVE
Come on, let's go out for dinner.
BLAIR
I don't want to. I want to be left alone. Why is that so hard for you to understand? Leave me alone.
STEVE
Fine.
BLAIR
Steve-
STEVE
What?
BLAIR
(feels bad)
Sorry for yelling, I just need to get this done.
STEVE
I understand.
Steve walks out. Blair takes a deep breath and continues to work.
INT. TOOTIE AND JEFF'S BEDROOM -- MORNING
Tootie is pacing. Jeff walks up to her.
JEFF
Honey, I have to go to work.
TOOTIE
Understand. I just I don't-
The phone rings. Jeff picks it up.
JEFF
Hello? Yeah, she's here. Tootie, it's Blair.
Tootie smiles. She grabs the phone and collapses on to the bed.
TOOTIE
Hello?
BLAIR
Hi. I got your number from Natalie. I need to-
TOOTIE
So you're coming.
BLAIR
What?
TOOTIE
To Los Angeles. You and Jo?
BLAIR
Are you really that stupid?
TOOTIE
What?
BLAIR
Jo's dead. The bitch decided not to get off the plane. You got it.
TOOTIE
But-
BLAIR
I need your address.
TOOTIE
Why?
BLAIR
Because I'm sending you fan mail. What do you think I need it for?
TOOTIE
Listen, Blair don't get bitchy on me.
BLAIR
I'll try not to if you give me your address so I can plan this memorial service.
TOOTIE
Do you need me to help you?
BLAIR
No, damn it, Tootie! I don't need your help.
TOOTIE
Well, I don't want you doing it alone.
BLAIR
That's the only way to get it done right. Give me your address and tell me when you're planning on coming into New York so I can make your hotel reservations.
TOOTIE
I can do that myself.
BLAIR
No, you can't.
TOOTIE
I'm not useless.
BLAIR
Look, I want this done to perfection. Meaning everything goes my way, got it. Tell me, what is your address?
Tootie takes a deep breath and slowly begins to tell her.
INT. JFK AIRPORT -- DAY
Blair is pacing back and forth. Natalie is sitting.
NATALIE
Blair can you sit?
BLAIR
No.
NATALIE
Blair.
BLAIR
What? I don't want to sit down. Where are they?
NATALIE
You know, Blair you can't control flight times.
BLAIR
You want to pick a fight with me now?
NATALIE
Look, I know you're angry-
BLAIR
I am not angry.
NATALIE
I know what you're going through.
BLAIR
No, you don't.
NATALIE
I don't?
BLAIR
That's what you went through. You don't know what Blair Warner is feeling right now so don't pretend like you know.
Mrs. Garrett walks up behind Blair.
MRS. GARRETT
Am I interrupting?
NATALIE
Mrs. Garrett.
MRS. GARRETT
Hi, girls. How are you two holding up?
NATALIE
I feel horrible.
MRS. GARRETT
Blair?
BLAIR
How do you think? Where's Tootie's flight?
MRS. GARRETT
Blair?
BLAIR
What? It can't show up on time. Is that too much to ask?
MRS. GARRETT
No, it's not.
Mrs. Garrett puts her hand on Blair's shoulder. Blair shrugs it off.
BLAIR
I'm gonna check on that flight.
Blair walks off.
NATALIE
I'm going to kill her.
MRS. GARRETT
Be patient. That's what you wanted when your dad died.
NATALIE
Well, I wasn't so mean to people.
MRS. GARRETT
Yeah, you were. Maybe not like Blair. But you didn't have a ton of patience for people.
NATALIE
I feel bad. At least Blair got to say goodbye to Jo. I didn't get that. I hadn't seen or spoken to her in three years. Tootie hadn't spoken to her in over five. Funny, we always said we'd never lose touch. We'd been through too much. Well, we were wrong.
Mrs. Garrett comforts her. Tootie walks over to them.
TOOTIE
Hey.
They look at her.
TOOTIE
Mrs. Garrett.
Tootie and Mrs. Garrett hug. Then Tootie turns and hugs Natalie. Blair walks over to them.
BLAIR
There you are. Let's go.
TOOTIE
It's so hard to believe.
BLAIR
No, it's not. Let's go.
Blair walks off. Tootie looks at Mrs. Garrett for help.
MRS. GARRETT
Let's go. She's angry. We have to be patient.
TOOTIE
I don't think I'll make it.
Blair walks back.
BLAIR
We don't have time to socialize.
MRS. GARRETT
Blair, do you-
BLAIR
No. I need you all to listen to me.
Blair walks off.
TOOTIE
I'm not gonna make it.
Mrs. Garrett smiles and puts her arm around Tootie. The three of them walk off.
INT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- DAY
Blair walks into the house. Natalie, Mrs. Garrett and Tootie follow. Steve is sitting on the couch with Lindsey, Catherine and Michael. They are watching TV.
BLAIR
What are you doing?
STEVE
Watching TV.
BLAIR
I know that. But why?
STEVE
Because we wanted to.
BLAIR
You know I hate that. I don't allow them to watch TV during the day. It's a beautiful day out and you're letting them rot their brains.
LINDSEY
Mommy, it's a cartoon.
BLAIR
Lindsey, I don't care. No television when they could be outside enjoying what is left of the day.
STEVE
You don't think you're overreacting?
BLAIR
No, I don't.
MRS. GARRETT
Hi, I'm Edna.
STEVE
Steve. Friend of Blair's.
BLAIR
Yeah, sure.
STEVE
What is that supposed to mean?
BLAIR
Catherine, go take your brother and sister and play in the backyard.
CATHERINE
What a familiar sight? My mother having a fight with a guy. He could be my next father.
Natalie and Tootie exchange a look. Blair glares at her daughter and starts to make her way over to her. Mrs. Garrett gets herself in between of them.
MRS. GARRETT
Wait, wait Blair. No. Kids go outside.
Catherine, Michael and Lindsey race outside. Mrs. Garrett holds Blair.
MRS. GARRETT
Blair, calm down. Breathe. You can talk to her later.
STEVE
Blair-
BLAIR
Shut up, Steve.
STEVE
Fine. What are you gonna do? Push everyone out of your life?
BLAIR
I just want to be left alone.
STEVE
Well, you're doing a great job at making that happen.
Blair looks at him. Steve storms out.
BLAIR
Steve.
Blair loosens herself from Mrs. Garrett's grip. She races outside.
EXT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- CONTINUOUS
Blair races out. She sees Steve get into his car. She races up to it and gets into the car.
INT. STEVE'S CAR -- CONTINUOUS
Blair buckles up as Steve watches her.
STEVE
Get out of my car.
BLAIR
No.
STEVE
Fine.
Steve tears out of the driveway.
BLAIR
Slow down.
STEVE
No.
BLAIR
You are such a bastard.
STEVE
I'm a bastard. Who's the one screaming and treating everyone like they're beneath her?
BLAIR
You have no clue.
STEVE
Jo meant as much to me as she did to you.
BLAIR
No, she didn't. Slow down.
STEVE
You afraid.
BLAIR
Yes. Steve.
STEVE
You are spoiled and selfish and it's no surprise to me that you've gone through three marriages.
BLAIR
Oh yeah, you're the one who marries psychos! You're an immature, selfish wimp!
STEVE
Always agreed with Jo, we would've made a nice couple. You and me. We always made a nice team. But no-
BLAIR
Steve, the road. Please and we wouldn't have made a good couple. You're too immature-
STEVE
And poor.
BLAIR
I never said that.
STEVE
Yes, you did.
BLAIR
When? And can you watch it?
STEVE
Hey, you got into the car. I think you're manipulative.
BLAIR
You just said you thought we'd make a good team.
STEVE
I lied.
BLAIR
You're an ass.
STEVE
Learned from the best.
BLAIR
Watch out.
Steve overshoots the turn and heads right into a tree. Blair's eyes widen. She has a look of sheer terror on her face. Steve presses the brake--hard. The stop, missing the tree by a quarter of an inch. Both Blair and Steve fly forward. Steve looks at Blair. Blair stares straight ahead. She gets out of the car. Steve gets out of the car.
EXT. STREET -- CONTINUOUS
Blair is trying very hard to regain her composure. Steve walks up to her and puts his hand on her shoulder.
STEVE
I am so sorry.
Blair looks at him.
BLAIR
I hate you. I hate you.
STEVE
I-
BLAIR
My G-d. Why did you-what the hell-I hate you-
He tries to hold her. She hits him. He tries to restrain her, but she keeps hitting him. She starts to break down.
BLAIR
You're a maniac. You're nuts. I hate you. You are never there and you just-you don't drive when you're angry and I-I-it's your fault. I never wanted to go to Disneyland. I never wanted-and now she's gone. It's your fault. She left and you-you-
She can't speak anymore because she is crying to hard. Steve holds her. She tries to recompose herself and pushes him away.
BLAIR
No. And don't say you understand. You don't.
Another car drives up to Steve's car. Tootie and Natalie get out.
TOOTIE
We followed you.
NATALIE
Mrs. Garrett is babysitting.
BLAIR
None of you understand. You never cared about Jo. I did. I was there. I said goodbye. I was her friend. You two left. She was my best friend. Not yours. You never got it. It was you two and then my counterpart was Jo and Jo left. She can't leave. I need my better half.
TOOTIE
Blair.
BLAIR
Shut up, Tootie.
NATALIE
You still have us.
BLAIR
I lost you two a long time ago.
Blair walks off. Tootie, Natalie and Steve exchange looks.
INT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- LATER
Mrs. Garrett is sitting on the couch. Catherine, Lindsey and Michael are resting around her.
CATHERINE
I didn't mean what I said, Mrs. Garrett.
MRS. GARRETT
I know.
CATHERINE
It's just my mom-she's beautiful and she should have a husband.
MRS. GARRETT
Catherine, when your mom was in high school the one thing she wanted was one husband and children. I think she still does.
CATHERINE
You know that guy that was here? Steve?
MRS. GARRETT
Yeah.
CATHERINE
He's great.
LINDSEY
We want them to get married.
MICHAEL
They won't.
CATHERINE
Do you know understand what makes my mother tick? I mean, here's someone that's so great and he's always here.
LINDSEY
And he's really nice.
MICHAEL
And funny. Taught me baseball.
CATHERINE
But instead of saying okay, she marries these guys that are icky.
LINDSEY
My daddy slept over at someone's house and it wasn't mommy. But he lives there now.
MRS. GARRETT
I'm so sorry.
MICHAEL
So did my daddy.
CATHERINE
And Steve has never slept over at anyone's house. And my dad...well, mom won't talk about him.
Mrs. Garrett let's this sink in. Blair opens the door and walks in. She looks just emotionally worn over, like she's been over by a truck several thousand times.
BLAIR
(weakly)
Hi.
LINDSEY
Mommy.
MRS. GARRETT
Hi, Blair.
Lindsey races up to Blair. Blair picks her up and holds her. She kisses the top of her head. Blair tries her best to be cheery. Mrs. Garrett smiles.
BLAIR
Come on, kids. Time to go to sleep.
MICHAEL
Is Steve never gonna come over again?
BLAIR
I don't know, Michael. I don't know.
MICHAEL
I liked him.
BLAIR
I know.
LINDSEY
Me too.
Blair puts Lindsey down.
BLAIR
Kids, go upstairs and get ready for bed. I'll be up in a minute to tuck you in.
Lindsey, Michael and Catherine walk to the stairs.
CATHERINE
Mom, can we talk?
BLAIR
Later.
CATHERINE
I'm sorry.
BLAIR
I know.
The three kids walk up the stairs. Blair walks over to the couch.
BLAIR
Thank you, Mrs. Garrett.
MRS. GARRETT
My pleasure.
BLAIR
How much do I owe you?
MRS. GARRETT
Nothing. How are you doing?
Blair collapses on the couch.
BLAIR
Why do people keep asking me that?
(sarcastic)
I'm doing just fabulous. I've been a jerk to my friends, my kids, the one guy in my life that means more to me than anything and I lost my best friend. And I just feeling like running barefoot through a field of daises.
MRS. GARRETT
No need for sarcasm.
BLAIR
I'm sorry. I don't want to talk about this now.
MRS. GARRETT
You did good. With these kids. They got a great mom.
Blair smiles. She sits up.
BLAIR
Really.
MRS. GARRETT
I was proud.
BLAIR
Oh, that makes my day Mrs. Garrett. You don't understand.
MRS. GARRETT
I have an idea.
BLAIR
Catherine's got a mouth.
MRS. GARRETT
Like mother, like daughter.
BLAIR
I was never-yeah, maybe I was.
Blair smiles.
MRS. GARRETT
A smile. Wow, Blair. She just wants you to be happy.
BLAIR
Me too.
MRS. GARRETT
What about Steve?
BLAIR
Don't start.
MRS. GARRETT
What? Your kids love him and I know you do.
BLAIR
He's my best friend. I couldn't see my life without him. I already lost one best friend, I can't lose two.
MRS. GARRETT
Who says you'd lose him?
BLAIR
It seems to be a pattern.
MRS. GARRETT
You have your kids.
BLAIR
(sarcasm)
And my health.
MRS. GARRETT
Are you mocking me?
BLAIR
(smiling)
Just a little.
MRS. GARRETT
I thought I gave you amazing advice.
BLAIR
You did. It sounded like it came off a pillow.
MRS. GARRETT
Alright, alright. I'll give you grown up advice now. What are you now, 35?
BLAIR
(distasteful)
Yeah.
MRS. GARRETT
Let's see, advice for a 35 year old woman?
(she thinks)
Grow up.
BLAIR
What?
MRS. GARRETT
Look, this is hard. I know what Jo meant to you. I know...maybe don't know exactly what she meant to you. I'm not you. But eventually you're gonna wanna tell people. So don't push them away. I mean, if you do end up alone, it'll be because of you. No one else.
Blair lets this sink in.
BLAIR
I liked the advice off the pillows better.
They laugh.
BLAIR
Alright, I'll be right back. I have three children to tuck in.
Blair gets up and walks upstairs.
INT. MICHAEL'S BEDROOM -- MOMENTS LATER
Michael is in bed. Blair walks in and tucks him in.
BLAIR
Good night.
MICHAEL
I want Steve as a daddy.
BLAIR
You do?
MICHAEL
Yeah. He taught me how to throw a curveball.
BLAIR
Good night, Mike.
MICHAEL
Also, I think we need another man in the house.
BLAIR
I agree.
Blair smiles. She kisses him on the top of the head.
MICHAEL
I don't wanna grow up with just girls. Cause Lindsey and Catherine are gross.
BLAIR
Do you think I'm gross?
MICHAEL
No. But you're not a girl.
BLAIR
Good night.
Blair walks out.
INT. LINDSEY'S BEDROOM -- MOMENTS LATER
Blair walks into Lindsey's room.
BLAIR
Sweetie, it's time to go to bed.
LINDSEY
Why did Jo leave?
BLAIR
I don't know. I guess it was time.
LINDSEY
How old was she?
BLAIR
34.
LINDSEY
That's old.
BLAIR
I'm 35.
LINDSEY
Oh. But Gail wasn't old?
BLAIR
No, she wasn't.
Catherine walks into the bedroom, Michael is behind her.
BLAIR
Catherine. Michael.
CATHERINE
Why did they leave?
BLAIR
Sit.
Catherine and Michael sit on either side of their mom.
BLAIR
I don't know why they left. I wish I did. Because I would do anything for answer.
CATHERINE
Someone said that they're angels in heaven now. But I don't want angels.
BLAIR
Me neither.
CATHERINE
I don't want them to be in heaven. Gail is supposed to be my best friend, Jo is supposed to be yours and how dare they leave. They had no right.
MICHAEL
Well, I don't think they chose it.
CATHERINE
So?
BLAIR
They didn't. But-
CATHERINE
What was Jo like when she was our age?
BLAIR
I met her when we were 15. She was tough and didn't take anything from people, especially me. But inside, she was amazing. She would rip into me like no one I've ever met but then if someone else made fun of me and she caught them. She would get them. I was the maid of honor at her wedding. She had a strength to her. And I hope the three of you become that strong.
LINDSEY
Was she an angel?
Blair laughs at the thought.
BLAIR
You kidding? You wanna know we became roommates in the first place?
CATHERINE
Yes.
BLAIR
We got into trouble. We hotwired the school van and used fake ID's to get into a 21 and over club.
LINDSEY
What's hotwiring?
BLAIR
Stole. And if you three ever do that, I will come after you. Believe me, Jo was no angel. But she was pretty cool.
MICHAEL
Where is she? If she's not an angel.
BLAIR
Well, she's-
CATHERINE
She's 6 feet under.
BLAIR
Catherine.
CATHERINE
Well, she is.
LINDSEY
(worried)
Mommy.
CATHERINE
Look, I don't want them looking over us. I want them here. And it's hard for me to believe that.
BLAIR
I know. It's hard for me too. So here's the thing, the four us need to help each other. We need to just be there.
CATHERINE
And Steve.
BLAIR
I don't know.
CATHERINE
Mom, Steve likes you. I've seen it. He's more like a dad than mine who you never talk about.
BLAIR
Cath, I know. And I am so sorry for what I did to you. I only wanted one husband.
CATHERINE
I know. And I'm sorry for everything.
LINDSEY
But if you hadn't had the other two husbands, you wouldn't have had Michael and I.
BLAIR
I wish you all had the same dad.
CATHERINE
We all like Steve.
BLAIR
I will talk to him.
LINDSEY
Do you love him?
BLAIR
Yeah, I do. Well, I like him. I'm not gonna lose him without a fight. Your mother is incredibly stubborn. And that I learned from a friend. Okay, time to go to sleep.
Blair gets up. She tucks Lindsey in. Michael, Catherine and Blair walk into the hallway.
INT. HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS
MICHAEL
Good night.
BLAIR
Good night.
Michael walks off.
CATHERINE
Mom, are you mad at me?
BLAIR
Yes and no. I think we need to hold onto each other. I help you through the loss of Gail and you help me with the loss of Jo.
CATHERINE
Deal.
BLAIR
(stern, she enunciates every word)
But if you ever yell at me or say that kind of thing to me again, you don't even want to know what'll happen to you. Do I make myself clear?
CATHERINE
Yes.
They hug.
BLAIR
Go to sleep. Punk.
Catherine smiles and walks off. Blair walks off in the other direction.
INT. WARNER LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS
Mrs. Garrett is sitting with Natalie and Tootie when Blair walks downstairs. Natalie and Tootie are looking through two giant photo albums.
BLAIR
Hey. I didn't even hear the doorbell.
MRS. GARRETT
I saw them in the window.
BLAIR
What are you two doing?
NATALIE
You clipped all my articles?
TOOTIE
And all my reviews and interviews?
BLAIR
Yeah.
NATALIE
Why?
BLAIR
Why not?
NATALIE
This is amazing.
MRS. GARRETT
Very sweet of you.
Blair sits down.
BLAIR
Well, I'm just a sweet person. Hey, I'm sorry for the way I've been acting.
NATALIE
That's okay. We'll forgive you.
BLAIR
But I don't want you too. I acted like a jerk. I want you to yell and say, Blair you're an ass.
TOOTIE
Blair, you're an ass.
NATALIE
Giant jackass.
TOOTIE
We hate you.
NATALIE
Go away.
TOOTIE
You're just icky.
BLAIR
And I don't want people to assume I'll go back to being this model of perfection. It was like when Nat's dad died and everyone expected you to cheer them and expected you to be the same ole Nat. Funny, energized, sweet and always ready for fun. But you weren't-
NATALIE
I'm still not.
BLAIR
A piece of me died on that plane too.
The group gets silent. They all get uncomfortable.
NATALIE
Tell me about Steve.
BLAIR
No.
NATALIE
Come on.
Tootie and Natalie pester her. Blair shakes her head.
BLAIR
He works at Eastland. Science teacher. And he's my best friend. And I know we would be great together. Jo used to say that. But I know that if we got married, we'd divorce. It's like what Natalie said.
NATALIE
What did I say?
BLAIR
Remember when we caught your dad kissing that woman? And you asked me how many marriages I would destroy? 3 so far.
NATALIE
I said that to you?
MRS. GARRETT
I remember that.
BLAIR
Yeah.
NATALIE
And you didn't deck me?
BLAIR
I wanted to.
NATALIE
Wait, but the next day, you helped me? Why?
BLAIR
Because I knew you weren't really yelling at me. I was just in the line of fire and I kept telling myself. You were yelling at me cause the person you wanted to yell at wasn't there.
NATALIE
Sorta like now.
BLAIR
Exactly.
NATALIE
Oh, Blair, I-well-I apologize.
TOOTIE
You should.
BLAIR
That's alright.
TOOTIE
How are you so sure you're gonna divorce if you don't give it a chance?
BLAIR
I don't know. I want him and I know it's always been him. But if he left me...
NATALIE
Maybe you need to take that chance. That what stuff like Jo dying or my dad's death teaches you. Take advantage of things because you don't know when it'll leave. Steve's been there for you for how long?
BLAIR
13 years. We spend every Valentine's Day together. Even when I was married. I spent Valentine's Day with him.
TOOTIE
Oh my, you are married.
BLAIR
We are. Just haven't made it legal yet.
NATALIE
Do it. You don't know what'll happen tomorrow.
The group gets quiet again. This hits Blair. They all try to think of something to talk about.
MRS. GARRETT
Hey, can I borrow your kitchen?
BLAIR
Of course, Mrs. Garrett.
MRS. GARRETT
And if I wanted to make cookies-
BLAIR
I have three children under the age of 13. Of course I have stuff to make cookies.
MRS. GARRETT
Would you girls like to join me?
BLAIR
It wouldn't be the same.
NATALIE
Yeah, you'd be helping.
Blair looks at her as they get up.
NATALIE
Hey, you wanted us to treat you like we always did.
TOOTIE
That's true. Princess Blair, I advise you not to wear your tiara in the kitchen.
Blair laughs.
BLAIR
It's in the shop. And I prefer queen Blair.
They laugh as they walk to the kitchen. There's a knock at the door.
NATALIE
She did that on purpose.
TOOTIE
It was one of her brilliant ideas.
BLAIR
You don't even say it right.
(silly)
Retreat to the kitchen, my dears, your royal highness must attend to her fans.
Mrs. Garrett, Tootie and Natalie walk into the kitchen. Blair opens the door. It's Steve, carrying roses.
STEVE
Am so, so, so sorry for today. I wasn't thinking. I know you're scared and I-
BLAIR
It's okay, Steve.
STEVE
Look, at it this way. I was helping you face your fears.
BLAIR
Didn't help. Come in.
Tootie walks back.
TOOTIE
Hey, Blair where's the-
(she stops)
Ooo, someone's in trouble.
Blair laughs.
BLAIR
I'll be there in a minute.
Tootie walks out.
STEVE
Here.
He hands her the roses.
BLAIR
Thanks.
STEVE
And about the stuff I said-
BLAIR
Know. I'm just-
STEVE
Angry?
BLAIR
Yeah. And I am so, so sorry too....Steve, I can't lose you....I just...I can't.
STEVE
You won't. I'll be here if you need to vent.
BLAIR
I know. And I will vent. I know that I do want you and I just don't want to lose you.
STEVE
You won't. Blair, I'm not leaving. I will never intentionally leave or hurt you. You know that, don't you?
BLAIR
Yeah.
STEVE
And if I wanted to leave you, I would've done it long ago. I'm in this for the long run.
BLAIR
Really?
STEVE
Yeah...you're a tough person to love Warner, but I wouldn't want it any other way.
BLAIR
You love me?
STEVE
Ehhh.
Blair smiles.
BLAIR
Well, I think I kinda like you too.
STEVE
Good.
BLAIR
I'll call you.
STEVE
Okay. Can I call tomorrow-
BLAIR
No. I will call you.
STEVE
Okay.
BLAIR
And Steve-
Blair walks over to him and kisses his cheek.
BLAIR
We do make a good team.
Steve touches her arm and kisses her forehead.
BLAIR
And when I'm ready-
STEVE
I know.
They exchange a look. He walks out. Blair smells the roses and smiles. She walks into the kitchen.
INT. FUNERAL HOME -- MORNING
The room is completely packed. Blair is sitting with Catherine on one side of her and empty chair on the other. Tootie, Jeff, Natalie and Snake are sitting in the row in front. Mrs. Garrett is sitting next to Catherine.
BLAIR
How are you doing, Mrs. G?
Mrs. Garrett smiles as Blair pats her hand.
MRS. GARRETT
You four girls. I watched you grow up. I watched Tootie roller skate everywhere, Natalie become a journalist, Blair, you become a beautiful young woman and Jo.
BLAIR
Cath, let's switch seats real quick.
Catherine and Blair switch. Blair puts her arm around Mrs. Garrett.
MRS. GARRETT
You four were like daughters and a mother is never supposed to outlive her child.
Tootie and Natalie turn around.
TOOTIE
It doesn't seem real.
NATALIE
Feel like she's gonna walk in here any minute-
BLAIR
With her motorcycle.
TOOTIE
That thing was surgically attached to her.
BLAIR
She gave it away.
NATALIE
When?
BLAIR
When you and Tootie moved into the attic adjoining our room. She didn't have enough money to pay for her share so she sold it.
NATALIE
We didn't know that.
TOOTIE
That's why she got the bed by the window instead of you?
BLAIR
That was my idea.
NATALIE
I remember your arguments.
BLAIR
Me too. But we always ended up all right. Remember when we got handcuffed together? That was great.
Blair laughs.
TOOTIE
Not really.
NATALIE
Oh, we still need to get back at you for that.
TOOTIE
Although, seeing Blair with her hair dyed green did it for me.
BLAIR
That's why I did it.
CATHERINE
Mom, why did you dye her hair green?
NATALIE
She was lonely.
BLAIR
Go away.
Steve walks over to them.
STEVE
Is this seat taken?
BLAIR
Steve?
STEVE
I thought I should come.
BLAIR
Yeah. Thanks.
CATHERINE
Should I switch seats again?
Blair looks at Catherine.
STEVE
Where are Michael and Lindsey?
BLAIR
Home with Lizzie. They're too young.
STEVE
And you?
CATHERINE
I wanted to say good bye. Gail's here.
BLAIR
Honey, no, no. Not a good thing to say to your mother.
The priest stands up. Everyone turns to face the front.
PRIEST
May I have your attention?
CATHERINE
Are you ready, mom?
BLAIR
No.
Blair puts her arm around her daughter and holds her, tightly.
PRIEST
We are here today to remember a remarkable young woman taken from us too soon. But instead of me saying words, Blair Warner who was in charge of putting this together decided to make a forum where people can share their memories. Blair?
Blair gets up and walks over to the front. She looks at everyone.
BLAIR
Fights. Yelling. Screaming. Blondie. Barbarian. Anyone who lived with us or knew us knows that this is all too true. She was stubborn, so was I. She was my best friend. I can't say it enough. Tootie, Natalie, Blair and Jo. Four Musketeers now down to three. We each had our place in the group. Tootie was the baby. Our resident gossip, but she knew when to keep her mouth shut. Natalie, kept us laughing. Me, the perfect one. Although, I think the three of you other had other ideas.
We fade into a montage of clips from the eight years they had together. We show clips of them talking, fighting, laughing, making up, comforting each other. Just being friends. We hear Green Day's "Time of Your Life" song in the background. We fade back to Blair, finishing her speech.
BLAIR
And in memory of my friend, my best friend, Jo. Wherever you are, I miss you. Thank you.
Blair walks towards her seat as people start to applaud. She sits back down.
CATHERINE
Mom, that was great.
MRS. GARRETT
I was proud.
TOOTIE
Me too.
BLAIR
Funny. First time in my life I didn't want to be the center of attention.
Mrs. Garrett grabs Blair's hand.
BLAIR
Hey, Nat.
NATALIE
Yeah?
BLAIR
Thank you for helping with the speech.
NATALIE
No problem. You were perfect.
BLAIR
Naturally.
Natalie smiles and turns back.
EXT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- DAY
There are people everywhere, eating, drinking and socializing. Natalie, Blair and Tootie are standing together near the pool.
TOOTIE
You're kids are so gorgeous. Lindsey is so cute and precious and Catherine is you.
NATALIE
And Michael, I just want to hug and kiss him all over the place.
BLAIR
Oh, he still thinks girls are gross. Although, between us. I caught him taking a second glance at Sandra Bullock on TV the other day.
The three laugh.
BLAIR
Hey, Nat can I ask you, everytime I've laughed in the past few days, I feel horrible. I can't laugh. I have no right to have fun when Jo's dead.
NATALIE
It'll go away. It's the healing process. You will be able to laugh without dying inside...soon.
BLAIR
Do you have a set date?
NATALIE
No.
BLAIR
Also, can I ask you three a huge favor?
TOOTIE
Of course.
BLAIR
Well, can we keep in touch? Please? I know we promised before and then the group split in half. Which was fine until I got screwed over and my half left and now I really don't have any friends. I have Steve and my kids. But I don't have any adult female friends.
TOOTIE
Blair, do you even have to ask?
NATALIE
Of course, we'll be your friends.
BLAIR
Thanks.
NATALIE
We've always been. We just need to try a lot harder now.
The girls look at each other and continue to talk.
INT. BLAIR WARNER'S HOME -- EVENING
Blair, Mrs. Garrett, Tootie and Natalie are standing by the door.
TOOTIE
What a day.
BLAIR
You're telling me.
NATALIE
So we meet for breakfast tomorrow?
BLAIR
I'm there. And then we'll drop Tootie and Mrs. Garrett to the airport.
MRS. GARRETT
It's a plan.
TOOTIE
I'm going back to the hotel. I am so tired.
Tootie hugs Mrs. Garrett and Natalie and then looks at Blair.
BLAIR
You can hug me. I don't want to be left out.
Tootie smiles and hugs her.
BLAIR
Good night.
NATALIE
Hey, Tootie I'll walk you to your car. I'm gonna head home too. Good night.
Natalie hugs Mrs. Garrett and Blair.
NATALIE
How are you doing?
BLAIR
Not well. But I'm glad you're here.
Natalie and Tootie leave.
MRS. GARRETT
I'm gonna leave too. But, I want to you know I am so proud of you.
BLAIR
Oh come on, I acted like a jerk and I feel bad and I-
MRS. GARRETT
Yeah, but you cared. You were there. Blair, you've really done well and I'm proud. I mean, so you're angry. You've got every right to be.
BLAIR
I don't need anyone validating it.
MRS. GARRETT
I know. Just when you're ready, we'll help.
BLAIR
I know you will. Tootie will, Natalie, Steve. I'm just not ready yet. I don't want it yet. Because I then just act like a jerk and I feel ten times worse already and then people say but I understand. But I just acted badly. There shouldn't be an excuse. I mean, have I ever not asked for help when I needed it?
MRS. GARRETT
No.
BLAIR
And I do need it and I will. But not right now. And I don't want anyone saying, "I understand". Because I hate that.
Mrs. Garrett smiles.
MRS. GARRETT
Deal.
BLAIR
Oh, and thanks for calling my children amazing. It's amazing. Three people more perfect than I am.
Mrs. Garrett laughs.
MRS. GARRETT
Good night.
BLAIR
Good night.
Blair and Mrs. Garrett hug. Mrs. Garrett leaves. Blair closes the door and leans up against it. She slides down to the floor. Steve walks down the stairs. He looks at her.
STEVE
(joking)
You look bad. Certainly less than perfect.
BLAIR
(relieved)
Thanks.
STEVE
What?
BLAIR
I know you were just making fun. But finally the truth. All day, oh Blair you look beautiful. Exquisite. No, I don’t. I haven’t slept in weeks, my eyes are puffy and swollen, my hair looks awful. In what country does this look good? I do not look good. Stop lying. I feel like crap enough with out people lying to me.
STEVE
I know, they should just tell you you’re ugly.
Blair laughs.
BLAIR
When will this stop? And you know what else I hate? When people say I'm sorry. Why? That's not gonna fix anything. Did they do something? I'm sorry. You say sorry when you bump into someone. You know what someone said to me today, "it's okay Blair, you'll make other friends. It's not like losing a family member."
STEVE
Someone said that?
BLAIR
Yeah, well don't worry about that person. I think they're still at the bottom of my pool.
Steve collapses onto the couch.
STEVE
I wouldn't be surprised.
BLAIR
Another mess I'll have to clean up. Like I'll make other friends and suddenly Jo will be gone. I don't want-20 years of my life, I'm not gonna forget her. Ever. Nor do I want to.
STEVE
Nor should you.
BLAIR
Someone should write a book called, What Not to Say to People in Mourning. I'm sure it'd be a best seller.
STEVE
I put Lindsey and Michael to bed and helped Cath with her homework. She didn't want to do it, but I thought it would help take her mind off things. Seemed to work.
BLAIR
Thanks.
STEVE
Now, I can help put you to bed?
BLAIR
Ha. Ha.
Blair gets up and walks over to the couch. Steve lies down and Blair lies down next to him. He holds her.
BLAIR
Thanks.
STEVE
What I'm here for.
BLAIR
I don't want you to leave.
STEVE
I won't.
BLAIR
I want everyone to leave me alone. Except you.
STEVE
I'm not going to.
BLAIR
Good. We make a great team.
STEVE
We do.
The two of them fall asleep.
THE END