Janice Johnson
10-04-2007, 08:05 PM
i just had a major ephiphany about Ryan, the love of my life who later dumped me. He left suddenly, and was gone for over a year. For over a year, I waited for him to come back. I turned down tons of offers from numerous guys, because I was waiting for Ryan to come back. It suddenly occured to me that Ryan never asked me to wait for him. He never said the words, 'Janice, I want you to wait for me."
So, when he came back, he soon dumped me. I was like, 'I waited for him when I could have been happy with some other guy? Then, when he comes back, he treats me like some week-old fish?" I wanted to go striaght Helen from Diary From a Mad Black Woman on him.(what she did to Charles, after he was in a wheelchair)I cringe when I remember all the boys I turned down.:( :eek: Imagine the guy who's possibly the right one for me, asking me if I wanted to get to know him better. (Imagine me in a childish, immature, little girl way saying, 'I have a boyfriend named Ryan." Now imagine me in a grown up, realistic way saying, 'You idiot. You let the possible man of your dreams slip away, because you were waiting for someone who didn't want you to wait).
My sister was more sensible than me,and she's younger than me. She said, "The reason you keep turning guys down is because you're waiting for Ryan to come back. How do you know if he hasn't become gay, become married or engaged or has babies now? Even my mom said basically the same thing. So when I called Ryan,(a few days after learning he came back to Miami) he probably wasn't to happy. he probably was creeped out, not flattered that I was still "waiting" for him. He probably thought, 'She's either needy, desparate, has no life of her own, or is a potential stalker." Then he dumped me the next time I called him.
A while later, some girl told me she was his girlfriend. There's no surprise there. He obviously grew up, and I didn't. I don't want to think this, but maybe the reason he left Miami in the first place was to get away from me. I didn't know WHERE he was for that year..................... I found out that he had moved to Broward. The funny thing is, he dumped me shortly after our 7 year anniversary. That's 7 years I gave my heart to him!:mad: I suddenly begun thinking about the term "The 7 Year-Itch," but didn't know if that applied here.
It's a good thing that ryan dumpoed me now, when I'm 23, instead of doing it when I'm 30.(He probably thought, 'If I had come back in 10 years, would she still have been waiting for me? pretty creepy) At least he dumped me at an age where I could easily find a new man. I'm still young, and still have lots of time to get a new man. The problem is, there aren't too many people hitting oon me anymore.:( The only people who really hit on me was a guy I met on the bus stop, and a guy i met while on the bus.
The guy i met on the bus seemed really good, but there was something fishy about him. he said, 'I make 720.00 a week, but do you have a dollar on you?:lol: (I didn't) And later, he said, "I'm looking for intimacy, romance, and someone to talk to. I said, 'I'm not looking to be intimate. I want to be married before I have sex. Then he said something like, 'I respect your decision, but maybe we weren't meant to be together(The weird thing is, I had given him my cellphone number since we had had a great time talking, but I immeadiately asked for my cellphone number back and put it in my pocket.)
Then there was the guy at the bus stop. We had a great time talking too,(no mention of sex in this conversation) and I gave him my cellphone number, and I think the big doof lost it!:rolleyes: :lol: (he seemed to be pretty forgetful during the conversation, asking me a question I already answered). :lol: If I see him again, I will ask for HIS number.:lol:
But back to Ryan. I soon began thinking about him when the song, "You Keep Me Hangin' On" from Kim Wilde played.:( I had hung on for a while................. But, shortly after Ryan dumped me, I began liking my co-worker.(this was BEFORE the two 'bus" boys came along) I had to hold myself back not to kiss him.:blush: he was a great listerner, and I could talk to him about anything. (I sometimes wanted to kick him in his teeth, though,;), when he would get on my nerves).
I liked someone who I wanted to kick in his teeth! But, he was my co-worker, and he said that he didn't want to get too involved romantically with his co-workers(he of course didn't mean me, because he didn't know I liked him,even though I told him later on), and he and I soon found out that the store was forcing him to transfer(that's right, forcing, he didn't want to go to the other store). The day after he left,(he came back to get his things) I gave him a hug and tried to kiss him on his mouth, but he said, "No," playfully,and backed away. I said, "Why not? You said you don't want to get involved with co-workers. Guess what? You're not my co-worker anymore. You don't work in this store anymore. "
He said, "It wouldn't be fair to you, and it wouldn't be fair to me." But, i managed to write him a note that talked about my feelings for him, and about how much I wanted to kss him(I gave him that note after I tried to kiss him). He didn't want to get involved with me. He gave me this, "You're sweet, but....speech You guys know what I'm talking about, ;) :( ). the weird thing is, if Ryan hadn't dumped me, I probably wouldn't have tried that with my co-worker(or, ex- coworker).
So, when he came back, he soon dumped me. I was like, 'I waited for him when I could have been happy with some other guy? Then, when he comes back, he treats me like some week-old fish?" I wanted to go striaght Helen from Diary From a Mad Black Woman on him.(what she did to Charles, after he was in a wheelchair)I cringe when I remember all the boys I turned down.:( :eek: Imagine the guy who's possibly the right one for me, asking me if I wanted to get to know him better. (Imagine me in a childish, immature, little girl way saying, 'I have a boyfriend named Ryan." Now imagine me in a grown up, realistic way saying, 'You idiot. You let the possible man of your dreams slip away, because you were waiting for someone who didn't want you to wait).
My sister was more sensible than me,and she's younger than me. She said, "The reason you keep turning guys down is because you're waiting for Ryan to come back. How do you know if he hasn't become gay, become married or engaged or has babies now? Even my mom said basically the same thing. So when I called Ryan,(a few days after learning he came back to Miami) he probably wasn't to happy. he probably was creeped out, not flattered that I was still "waiting" for him. He probably thought, 'She's either needy, desparate, has no life of her own, or is a potential stalker." Then he dumped me the next time I called him.
A while later, some girl told me she was his girlfriend. There's no surprise there. He obviously grew up, and I didn't. I don't want to think this, but maybe the reason he left Miami in the first place was to get away from me. I didn't know WHERE he was for that year..................... I found out that he had moved to Broward. The funny thing is, he dumped me shortly after our 7 year anniversary. That's 7 years I gave my heart to him!:mad: I suddenly begun thinking about the term "The 7 Year-Itch," but didn't know if that applied here.
It's a good thing that ryan dumpoed me now, when I'm 23, instead of doing it when I'm 30.(He probably thought, 'If I had come back in 10 years, would she still have been waiting for me? pretty creepy) At least he dumped me at an age where I could easily find a new man. I'm still young, and still have lots of time to get a new man. The problem is, there aren't too many people hitting oon me anymore.:( The only people who really hit on me was a guy I met on the bus stop, and a guy i met while on the bus.
The guy i met on the bus seemed really good, but there was something fishy about him. he said, 'I make 720.00 a week, but do you have a dollar on you?:lol: (I didn't) And later, he said, "I'm looking for intimacy, romance, and someone to talk to. I said, 'I'm not looking to be intimate. I want to be married before I have sex. Then he said something like, 'I respect your decision, but maybe we weren't meant to be together(The weird thing is, I had given him my cellphone number since we had had a great time talking, but I immeadiately asked for my cellphone number back and put it in my pocket.)
Then there was the guy at the bus stop. We had a great time talking too,(no mention of sex in this conversation) and I gave him my cellphone number, and I think the big doof lost it!:rolleyes: :lol: (he seemed to be pretty forgetful during the conversation, asking me a question I already answered). :lol: If I see him again, I will ask for HIS number.:lol:
But back to Ryan. I soon began thinking about him when the song, "You Keep Me Hangin' On" from Kim Wilde played.:( I had hung on for a while................. But, shortly after Ryan dumped me, I began liking my co-worker.(this was BEFORE the two 'bus" boys came along) I had to hold myself back not to kiss him.:blush: he was a great listerner, and I could talk to him about anything. (I sometimes wanted to kick him in his teeth, though,;), when he would get on my nerves).
I liked someone who I wanted to kick in his teeth! But, he was my co-worker, and he said that he didn't want to get too involved romantically with his co-workers(he of course didn't mean me, because he didn't know I liked him,even though I told him later on), and he and I soon found out that the store was forcing him to transfer(that's right, forcing, he didn't want to go to the other store). The day after he left,(he came back to get his things) I gave him a hug and tried to kiss him on his mouth, but he said, "No," playfully,and backed away. I said, "Why not? You said you don't want to get involved with co-workers. Guess what? You're not my co-worker anymore. You don't work in this store anymore. "
He said, "It wouldn't be fair to you, and it wouldn't be fair to me." But, i managed to write him a note that talked about my feelings for him, and about how much I wanted to kss him(I gave him that note after I tried to kiss him). He didn't want to get involved with me. He gave me this, "You're sweet, but....speech You guys know what I'm talking about, ;) :( ). the weird thing is, if Ryan hadn't dumped me, I probably wouldn't have tried that with my co-worker(or, ex- coworker).