To see the shows that are being played on ALN this weekend, hers' the link:

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=209273

(AmericanLife TV):

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

All episodes are one hour.

Fri. Oct. 5 10p & Sat. Oct. 6, 2007 12a #15 – “Rafitti, Brooklyn Style”: Ralph tries to score points with his boss by collecting money from the drivers at the depot and buying the boss' daughter an elegant watch as a wedding present. Alice and her mother discover the watch and since it's Alice's birthday, jump to the wrong conclusion. Ralph stages a phony holdup to get the watch back but is thwarted when a real crook overhears his scheme.

Fri. Oct. 12 10p & Sat. Oct. 13, 2007 12a #16 – “Ralph Kramden Presents”: Ralph is asked to invite his celebrity friend that he always brags about, Jackie Gleason, to the annual Raccoons dance. In desperation, Ralph & Ed go over to the hotel that Gleason is staying to try to get him to come. Ralph gets to speak to Carney and Ed gets to speak to Gleason but in the confusion, nobody is invited to the dance. Alice promises Gleason the recipe for her anchovy pizza and he shows up at the dance.

(Also, AmericanLife has launched on OnDemand Service. The Color Honeymooners MAY be one of the shows that you can watch.)

"The Golfer":

Ralph: "I got enough confidence in me for the both of us."

Alice: "You got enough of EVERYTHING in you for the both of us."

"Please Leave The Premises":

Ralph: "Why can't you get behind me?"

Alice: "It's not my fault. There just isn't enough room back there."

"The Babysitter":

Ralph: "The bills will get bigger and bigger and I will get less to eat. I will start losing weight. Then do you know what I will look like?"

Alice: "Yeah, a human being."

"Move Uptown":

Ralph: "Where is Ed? We have to load the trailer."

Alice: "I don't know."

(Crash! Clatter! Bing! Bang! Boom! Ed comes out with pots and pans on him.)

Ralph: "What are you making all that noise for?"

Ed: "Shh."

Ralph: "Don't 'shh' me."

Trixie: "Did you hurt yourself?"

Ed: "No, luckily the pots and pans broke my fall."

"Principle of The Thing":

Ralph (yells): "NOW THERE IS WATER COMING OUT OF THE WALL."

Ed: "What are you yelling at me for? Your troubles are over."

Ralph (yells): "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"

Ed: "Disconnect the sink and attach it in the middle of the wall."

"Ralph's Sweet Tooth":

Dr. Durgom: "I know why you are afraid Mr. Kramden. It is ignorance."

Ed: "That is okay. He is as ignorant as anybody."

"Lawsuit" (Color version):

Ralph: "You know the condition that I am in. You know I can't do anything by myself."

Alice: "How did you walk out here?"

Ralph: "Don't change the subject."

"In Twenty-Five Words Or Less":

(Ralph gets introduced to Happy the puppy dog who is big and around
Ralph, he gets vicious.)

Alice: "That's Happy."

Ralph: "He doesn't look happy to me."

"Be It Ever So Humble":

Ed: "How long is the lease for?"

Ralph: "The usual."

Ed: "What is the usual?"

Ralph: "99 years."

Credit goes to tvguide.com & honeymooners.net.