To see the schedule for tomorrow, here's the link:

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=208332.

(AmericanLife TV):

TV-G

All times are Eastern.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden. Art Carney as Ed Norton. Shelia MacRae as Alice Kramden. Jean Kean as Trixie Norton.

All episodes are one hour.

Sat. Sep. 22, 2007 #11 - "King of the Castle": Back from Europe, Ralph advises Ed to stand up to Trixie -- and suddenly, Alice moves in with Trixie and Ed is living with Ralph. (VCR Plus Code: 5193.)

Sun. Sep. 23, 2007 7p #12 – “Movies Are Better Than Ever”: Ralph treats himself, Alice and the Nortons to the movies for Ed's birthday. Ed's ticket wins the door prize -- a color TV. Ralph declares war on Ed because he paid for the tickets and wants the TV. Eventually they take their case to court but reconcile after hearing Alice's testimony. (VCR Plus Code: 9743.)

Sat. Sep. 29, 2007 7p #13 – “Without Reservations”: Ralph's brother-in-law Stanley persuades Ralph and Ed into buying a strategically located hotel along the route of a proposed highway. The highway ends up bypassing the hotel, putting Ralph and Ed out of business but money in Stanley's pocket since he's a construction worker on the new highway.

Sun. Sep. 30, 2007 7p #14 – “Life Upon The Wicked Stage”: Ralph pairs up with Ed and Alice pairs up with Trixie to enter a talent contest. Alice and Trixie win first place and Alice uses her winnings to buy Ralph the expensive fishing gear he's had his eyes on.

(Also, AmericanLife has launched on OnDemand Service. The Color Honeymooners MAY be one of the shows that you can watch.)

"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):

Ed: "Suppose they don't give me the promotion?"

Ralph: "Then you scare them. Tell them that after 17 years in the sewer, you are finally washing your hands of the whole thing."

"Champagne and Caviar":

(Mr. Marshall, Ralph's boss, visits Ralph. Ed talks to him while Ralph looks on hoping that Ed won't embarrass him.)

Mr. Marshall: "What work do you do Mr. Norton?"

Ralph: "He works for the city."

Mr. Marshall: "How did you get your job in the sewer?"

Ed: "Just lucky, I guess."

"Finders Keepers":

(Ralph wants to give Mr. Bartfeld a deposit. It's part of Ralph & Ed's plan to buy the candy store from Mr. Bartfeld. Mr. Bartfeld planned on selling the store to a different group of people called the Chock Full of Orange People.)

Ralph: "Norton, lend him $80."

Ed: "Now wait a minute. I thought that we were partners."

Ralph: "You'll get it back."

Ed: "I understand that partners should split everything 50/50."

Ralph: "Norton, would you mind lending me $40?"

Ed: "Sure."

(Ed lends Ralph the $40.)

(Ralph hands the money to Mr. Bartfeld.)

Ralph: "Now, there's my half. Now would you mind lending him your half?"

Ed: "Sure."

(Ed lends Mr. Bartfeld $40.)

Ed: "Now, you are acting like a partner."

"Opportunity Knocks, But":

Ralph: "This is my boss Mr. Marshall. Mr. Marshall this is my friend Ed Norton."

Ed: "How are you doing Mr. Marshall? I have heard your name in the Kramden household many times. As a mater of fact, when Ralph was laid off last year, he talked about you constantly."

"Flushing Ho":

(Ralph looks out the window of a new apartment that him & Ed are looking to rent.)

Ralph: "Hey Norton, this proves that this new apartment has class. Know the view that we got from our place?"

Ed: "Yeah, the back of a Chinese restaurant."

Ralph: "Look out this window."

(Ed does that.)

Ed: "Hey, it's the front of a Chinese restaurant."

"Flushing Ho":

(Ralph slips on the soap that Ed dropped in the bathroom and comes out to the kitchen with the bar of soap.)

Ed: "I see you found the soap."

Ralph: "Don't get excited Norton. I am not going to get mad. I am not going to lose my cool. I am not even going to yell. No sir."

(Ralph takes the bar of soap and puts in between two slices of bread to make a soap sandwich and shows Ed the soap sandwich.)

Ralph: "Eat it."

"Young Man With A Horn":

(Ralph plays the horn very badly. Previously, he tried to blow into it but there was a sock in it.)

Alice: "I liked it better with the sock in it."

Ralph: "I like you better with a sock in you."

"Rafitti, Brooklyn Style":

Ralph: "For once you are right. Alice should have married Johnny Farell. He's a much smarter guy than I am."

Alice's Mom: "So you admit it."

Ralph: "Sure. He took one look at you and refused to marry her."

"Boys & Girls Together":

(Ralph & Alice are eating dinner.)

Ralph (pointing at his food): "What is that?"

Alice: "That is the appetizer."

Ralph: "What?"

Alice: "The appetizer."

Ralph: "I had my appetizer. I drove a bus for eight hours."

Credit goes to Yahoo! Groups You're A Riot, sitcomsonline.com, tvguide.com and honeymooners.net.