"To Whom It May Concern":

(Ralph is getting Ed to write the nasty remarks that he wants in his letter to the boss.)

Ralph: "I don't know what else to say."

Ed: "Maybe it's a good time for you to say that you want your job back."

"Sees All, Knows All":

Ed: "I know a man that had his palm read. The fortune teller said that he would die in six months."

Ralph: "What happened?"

Ed: "He died in four months."

"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

(Ralph and Ed try to lift the dresser.)

Ralph: "I'll count to three and on three we lift and then we heave ho. One..two...three."

(Ralph lifts the dresser but he can't lift his side of the dresser.)

Ralph (yells): "ARRRRRRGGGGH!" (normal voice): "Why didn't you lift?"

Ed: "We didn't heave ho."

"The Sleepwalker":

Ralph: "I am now going to put the key under my pillow. Now, you will have to lift me up bodily in order for you to get the key."

Ed: "I got to hand it to you Ralph. You came up with something even Dick Tracy couldn't handle."

"The Sleepwalker":

(The doctor gives Ed a shot.)

Doctor: "I want you to count backwards from 100."

Ed: "100...99...98...97...3."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

(The G.F. is going to hypnotize Alice so she can let Ralph find out where she hid the money.)

Ralph (to the G.F.): "You might think that this is a little underhanded. But, all's fair in love and war."

Alice: "In this family, it's a little bit of both."

"Principle of The Thing":

Ed: "Don't you think that I should be climbing on that ladder?"

Ralph: "So, you are saying that I'm too fat to climb this ladder. Why don't you just say it?"

Ed: "I don't have too. You just did."

Ralph: "My wife may not be alone on the moon."

(Ralph goes into the bedroom with the ladder. He climbs up it.)

Ralph (falling, yells): "DUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Move Uptown":

(Everyone is outside helping the Kramdens move.)

Ralph: "Where is Norton? We got to load the trailor?"

Trixie: "I don't know."

(Crash! Clatter! Bing! Bang! Boom!)

(Ed comes down with pots and pans tied on him.)

Ralph: "Why are you making so much noise for?"

Ed: "Shh."

Ralph: "Don't 'shh' me."

Trixie: "Did you get hurt?"

Ed: "No, luckily the pots and pans broke my fall."

"Move Uptown":

Ralph: "That peephole is there just in case if someone is knocking on the door and you don't want to let them in, like a delivery boy."

Ed: "The only thing that you can deliver through there is a salami."