"Love Letter":

Ralph: "What was she (Trixie) holding behind her back?"

Alice: "Ralph, really it was nothing."

Ralph: "Alice, you don't hold nothing behind your back. You show it out in front so everybody can see it. Now, what was she holding behind her back."

Alice: "All right. She was hiding your birthday present."

Ralph: "Why did you tell me for? You know I like surprises."


"Man In The Blue Suit":

Ed: "Who are they going to give your suit to?"

Ralph: "Some poor unfortunate person who is broken-down."

Ed: "That is right. Someone who can't afford to dress as well as we do."

"In Twenty-Five Words Or Less":

Ralph: "Why your sister married that loud blowhard, I will never know."

Alice: "She did so because you were already married."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

Ralph: "This furniture is good for me."

Alice: "Sure. But just because you are a Raccoon doesn't mean that I have to live in a hole in the ground."

"Lawsuit" (Color):

Ralph: "I am trying to put some weight on my broken leg."

Ed: "You are just the boy that could do it."

"The Deciding Vote":

Ed: "I wish Trixie could make icing that tastes as good as this."

Alice: "Icing? Ed, that is starch."

Ed: "It is?"

(Ed tastes it again.)

Ed: "I still wish that Trixie would make icing that tastes as good as this."

"Ralph Kramden Inc.":

Ed: "It's not like I don't want you to lend me the money. It is what you don't do with it."

Ralph: "What?"

Ed: "You don't pay me back."

"The Bensonhurst Bomber":

Ralph: "Why did he say: 'Hey get a load of fatso there'?"

Ed: "I don't know. Maybe the phrase just fits."

"Cottage For Sale Part 2":

Trixie: "Every mistake Ed has made, Ralph has talked him into."

Ralph: "I didn't talk him into marrying you, did I?"