(Irene, I'm stealing your idea..hope you don't mind props:) I've been playing this on the I Love Lucy board and it's fun so maybe this will help liven up this board...which has been dead lately.
So, you know how it goes -someone asks a question, you make up an answer and then ask a question of your own-

--------------
Why did Norton and Ralph want to buy a summer cottage?

Cause it was much nicer than either of their apartments

Why did Alice agree to live in such a run-down home?

Why did Alice agree to live in such a run-down home?

Because Ralph swore up and down that Carey Grant lived in the building when he needed a break from being a "star."

Why did Alice not want Ralph to go bowling?

She needed his bowling ball to plug the hole in the ceiling

Why did Ed love his job in the sewers, so much?

He enjoyed the buzz he got from the fumes.

Why did Norton leave Trixie?

He met this really sexy rat, down in the sewers and well, one thing led to another........

Why couldnt Ralph ever get ahead in his job?

Because his secret dream of becoming a Burlesque dancer kept him from giving his all.

When Ralph did the commercial for Chewsy Chew candy what was it that caused him a great deal of pain?

The cheque they paid him with, bounced

Why did Alice have to go up to Trixies place to answer the phone?

Because she wanted to keep running up and down the stairs so she could firm up her lower body.

When Ralph finally won one of those many contests he entered what was it that he won?

A brand new evening dress..........which he wore with pride

What gave Ralph the false impression that he only had 6 months to live?

The expiration date stamped on the bottom of his foot.

When Alice and Trixie dumped out the wine so the boys wouldn't get sick..what did they replace it with?

Sulphuric acid

What did the 2 wives SEE in their loser husbands?

financial freedom

How much did Ralph weigh?

125 pounds.......he was just "big boned" :lol:

What old time comedy team did Jackie Gleason and Art Carney remind people of?

What old time comedy team did Jackie Gleason and Art Carney remind people of?
The Three Stooges :stooges:

How did Ralph & Alice meet?

At the Copacabana.

Why did Ralph think Alice was trying to murder him?

Why did Ralph think Alice was trying to murder him?
So she could get her hands on his fortune - LOL! :rofl:

How did Ralph get his job as a bus driver?

By sleeping with a lot of important people.

Why did Ralph think Alice was having a baby?

So she could get her hands on his fortune - LOL!
:rofl: :rofl:

Why did Ralph think Alice was having a baby?
Cause he kept seeing this HUGE belly in their bedroom...until he realised it was his OWN belly, that he was looking at

Was Ralph sad to learn that Alice WASNT pregnant?

Of course he was. Where do you think the phrase "Baby You're the Greatest came from?

What easy song does Ralph miss on the game show?

Mozart's Serenades and Divertimenti

Who moved in with Ed Norton, when he was having a problem with sleepwalking?

Who moved in with Ed Norton, when he was having a problem with sleepwalking?

Alice. She was glad to as he took up less room in the bed.

What job did Alice take up so she could have a little extra money at Christmas?

Alice. She was glad to as he took up less room in the bed.

What job did Alice take up so she could have a little extra money at Christmas?

Charwoman at the Raccoon Lodge.

Where did Alice send Ralph on Christmas Eve 1953?

Where did Alice send Ralph on Christmas Eve 1953?
To the moon! :D

What is Norton's favorite TV show?

Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom...in particular , the show with Marlin Perkins looking for NY's biggest sewer rat

How was Ralph's safety record as a bus driver?

To the moon! :D

What is Norton's favorite TV show?

Perry Como (LOL)

What did Ralph win at Salvatore's Pizzeria?

hey MR Band...you answered the wrong post :|

How was Ralph's safety record as a bus driver?
Awful! Several crashes, a few hit and runs and had at least 3 unattended buses stolen.

What did Ralph give Alice for Christmas?

Awful! Several crashes, a few hit and runs and had at least 3 unattended buses stolen.

What did Ralph give Alice for Christmas?

A tent with a snake in it.

What job did Ed Norton do before he worked in the sewer?

thats pretty bad, all right :lol:

Two tickets to the fights ( Fortunately, Alice gave Ralph a new dress, so it all worked out )

Which Honeymooners character was "Yogi Bear" partly based on?

What job did Ed Norton do before he worked in the sewer?

He was vice-President........he went into the sewer cause that job had more dignity

Which Honeymooners character was "Yogi Bear" partly based on?

What job did Ed Norton do before he worked in the sewer?

He was vice-President........he went into the sewer cause that job had more dignity

Which Honeymooners character was "Yogi Bear" partly based on?

Bert Wedemeyer


What sound effect does Norton use to break free from his trick handcuffs?

Mmmm boy that's good!

Why were Alice and Trixie mad at the attention their hubby's gave Rita?

They didnt think it was appropriate for "the boys" to be slobbering over a 96 year old woman.

What could be seen when looking directly out of the Kramdem's kitchen window?

A row of apple trees.


Where did Ralph and Ed head to after work on Friday?!

the nudie bar

what did Ralph and Ed wear to their club meetings?

Raccoon hats and speedos!

How did Ralph and Norton finally get the hot dog stand?

By running away with it while the hotdog vendor wasn't looking.

What do Trixie and Alice do when the boys are at work?!

Entertain lonely single men, for green stamps

How did Ralph and Ed become friends?

How did Ralph and Ed become friends?
Ralph got stuck in a manhole and Ed helped push him out.

What is Trixie's maiden name?

Ralph got stuck in a manhole and Ed helped push him out.

What is Trixie's maiden name?

Fensterblau


How did Rallph win a trip to Europe?

He slept with the travel agent. :)

What did Alice say to Norton after his fight with Ralph?!

"Eh, who cares about the stupid fight! Let's go grab some beers!"

Why were Norton and Ralph fighting over the TV won at the movies?

They both wanted to make a dining room table out of it and couldnt decide which apartment should keep it

Was Ralph ever shown actually driving a bus on the show?

Yes. Right into their living room too.


What was Alice's sister's name?!

Well, it was really Carl but one fitted dress, some makeup tips and lessons in walking sexy with high heels..Alice had a sister named Carly.

Where did Norton meet Trixie?

He popped up out of her parents toilet bowl, while working in the sewer

Who was the happier couple, and why?

Trixie and Ed because they both wore three-inch heels on Tuesdays.

How much was the fare on the bus?!

$75.00. Only $5.00 if you gave Ralph a little kiss.

Why did Alice's sister spend her wedding night alone at the Kramden's apartment?

Because she realised that the man she married would NEVER be as wonderful as her sister's husband Ralph, so she left him.

Did ANY of Ralphs "get-rich-quick" schemes ever work out?

Yes. The apartment they "lived" in was just a cover..they wanted relatives and friends to think they were poor so no one would ask for money. In reality they owned a few mansions in NY and a few villas in Italy.

What did Alice dress up as for the halloween party?

A woman in a happy marriage, no one recognised her at ALL

"Baby, you're the __________est!!!!"

Dumbest

When Ralph makes that recording to send to Alice -after a big fight- Norton accidentally grabs and sends the wrong record. What was on this record?

That song "Down by the Bay".


What kind of lunch would Alice prepare for Ralph daily?!

Loin of pork, 16oz steak, mashed potatos, honey glazed ham, fried chicken, cornbread, pizza, sandwhich and a nice cold chocolate milk to wash it all down.

Why didn't Ralph want to adopt the baby girl at first?

Loin of pork, 16oz steak, mashed potatos, honey glazed ham, fried chicken, cornbread, pizza, sandwhich and a nice cold chocolate milk to wash it all down.

Why didn't Ralph want to adopt the baby girl at first?

Because he thought there would be less food for him to eat.

What did Ralph and Norton like to do on their days off from work?

They liked to play "cowboys and Indians"

What cherished possesion did Ralph hock on Xmas eve, in order to buy Alice a present?

His half used jar of hair grease.


What did Ralph call Alice's mother the minute the alarm clock went off?!

My darling sweetheart; I love you almost as much as my own mother.

On what show does Ralph get tongue tied and say "He brives a dus?"

Fear Factor.

Why does Ralph buy a whole bunch of jelly beans to count?

Because he's too cheap to buy a calculator.


What does Alice do to Ralph's pants every other week?!

makes seat covers for Ralph's bus

What kind of salary does Ralph bring home weekly?

$8,000 a week but he blows it all on strippers!!


What do Trixie and Ralph have in common?!

They wear the same size pant.

How does Ralph plan on winning the Halloween party?

They wear the same size pant.

How does Ralph plan on winning the Halloween party?

By paying the judges to vote for him

Why did Ralph choose to be a bus driver?

He was too big to be a taxi driver !!

WHere did Ralph and Alice go on their honeymoon

To the biggest indoor flea market in town!

How come Alice didn't like the wallpaper Ralph picked out for the apartment?

She just wasnt "into" fluffy pink bunnies and lacey hearts , the way that Ralph was!

Where did Ralph find that tacky walpaper?

Find it! He MADE it! Months and months of collecting pieces of scrap paper and hours of pasting them all together.


What did Trixie give Norton for his birthday?

A DVD set of the first season of Flipper. (She got zapped into a time warp by Aunt Clara and wanted to bring her luvy dovie something back from the trip that she'd though he'd enjoy)

Who's going to take a trip to the moon?

Neil Armstrong....He was always pissing Ralph off!

Did Ed ever threaten Trixie in the same way?

Oh yeah! That's why Trixie was always so cranky.

What did Norton suggest doing in order to relieve Ralphs tooth ache?

Eating a nice hard chewy piece of taffy

What song does Ralph miss on the music quiz show?

Trace Adkins "Hot Mama"

What does Ralph get stuck in his new bowling ball?

His pinky ring.

What does Ralph call his mother-in-law after she spoils the ending of a story?

A stupid @ss.


How is Norton able to afford all those appliances he has?

I think you meant to say a BLABBER MOUTH! he he

Norton is able to afford all of his appliances because he gets everything on time...He was lucky to get the water softener!

I didn't read all of the questions, so I hope I don'r repeat one:

How many different uses/attachments does the Handy House Wife Helper have? Or at leat name five of them...

I think you meant to say a BLABBER MOUTH! he he

Norton is able to afford all of his appliances because he gets everything on time...He was lucky to get the water softener!


powbangzooom read my first post. This is the WRONG answer game lol. Answers are suppose to be made up aka wrong. :)

How many different uses/attachments does the Handy House Wife Helper have? Or at leat name five of them...
There was only one; laser beam. It could open anything.

Why did Ralph complain about playing pool with Norton?

Cause Ralph couldnt swim!

What did Alice and Trxie do for fun?

btw Powbangzoom, it doesnt matter if you ask the same Q twice cause, theres a ton of wrong answers to every Q ;)

Drag racing.


Who was the love note -that Alice found- really for?

Sam the Butcher

Where does Ralph find a suitcase loaded with counterfeit money?

Under his printing press where he left it the night before

What did Ralph buy with his "funny money"?

A pin ball machine, two parrots and a coke.


Why does Ralph think he's going crazy?

Because his appetitie is shrinking.

What is Ralph's rapport with his mother-in-law?

She only wishes she had made as great a marriage, as her daughter did

What did Alice's Mom call her son-in-law?

Angel cake!


Why did Ralph and Norton dislike Carlos?

because he was Alice's high school sweetheart

What did Ralph do with Fortune? (the bird)

Alice served him up as "the Worlds smallest roast chicken"

What headgear did Ralph and Ed wear to their lodge meetings?

Fuzzy pink bunny ears.

How did Ralph break his leg?

He tried to stop his Bus the way his distant ancestor ( Fred Flintstone ) stopped his car!

What DID the Honeymooners and Flintstones shows actually have in common?

They both had pet dinosaurs.

Why did Ralph try to have Alice hypnotized?

So that he could find out if Ed Norton and her were having an affair.

Why did Ralph give his boss dog food to eat?

So that he could find out if Ed Norton and her were having an affair.
:rofl: Good one!

Why did Ralph give his boss dog food to eat?

Because he was to cheap to buy him a real lunch.


What cleaning product was Alice going to model for?

Ajax

Why was Norton always eating food from Ralph's ice box?

He was trying diet and he knew Ralph always stocked up on diet foods..so he ate there.


Whatever happened to the hotel Ralph and Norton bought?

They sold it to Carlos so that he could have a place to teach the Mambo.

What did Norton hardly take off his hat?


P.S. AndAwayWeGo, thanks for the great chat today. I had fun and I greatly appreciate it. It's time for me to make my dinner. Chat with you later. Take care! :)

What did Norton hardly take off his hat?

He colored his hair blue and people just weren't ready for it.

P.S. AndAwayWeGo, thanks for the great chat today. I had fun and I greatly appreciate it. It's time for me to make my dinner. Chat with you later. Take care! :)
Aww, your welcome! It was fun chatting with you as well. Have a good dinner :)


-------------------------------
What did Norton buy Trixie for Christmas?

A monogrammed plunger.

And what did Trixie buy for him?

A huge pack of stick on tattoos!

What did Ralph take from the dentist?

a pair of false teeth for Alice so that she could eat Ralph's no-cal pizza

Why was Alice jealous of Rita (the blonde)

Because her hubby bought her more than one dress!

Why did Alice think Ralph was cheating on her?

because he was finally able to hit the high note

Why did Alice want to get a job?

because he was finally able to hit the high note
:brent:

Why did Alice want to get a job?
She needed to make money for her weekend in Aruba... with Norton!

:brent:


She needed to make money for her weekend in Aruba... with Norton!

Hey AndAwayWeGo! You forgot to add your question.:)

Hey AndAwayWeGo! You forgot to add your question.:)
Ah, sorry!

What made Norton leave Trixie (what did they fight about)?

because she ate a bowl of Kranmar's Delicious Mystery Appetizer and her breath smelled bad which Norton could not tollerate any longer

Why did Ralph and Norton get drunk from drinking grape juice?

They were washing it down with 90 proof whiskey

Why didnt Ralph want to buy new furniture when Alice begged him to?

Because the bottle had been hiding with Norton in the sewer for many years and had fermented.

Who has a big mouth?

They were washing it down with 90 proof whiskey

Why didnt Ralph want to buy new furniture when Alice begged him to?

Because he was saving up his money so that he could go to Las Vegas with Norton and live the high life for a few weeks

Why didn't Alice's mother and Ralph like each other?

Who has a big mouth? Trixie, you just cant get her to shut up
Why didn't Alice's mother and Ralph like each other?Alices Mother thought Ralph was just too THIN for her daughter!

Where did Ed work before he went into the sewers?

Wall Street


Why was Alice unhappy with the vacuum cleaner?

Cause it SUCKED! :rolleyes:

Did the Kramdens have ANY modern appliances?

No, but they did have a top of the line manual can opener.

What is the name of the lodge Ralph and Ed belong to?

The Pink Poddles of Pensicola

What was the Pink Poodles uniform composed of?

Pink pasties, pink thong and work boots.

What did the therapist tell Ralph to do about Norton?

The therapist told Ralph that he should tell Norton about his affair with Trixie.

What was Ralph's pet name for Alice?

Little duckling.


Why couldn't Ralph play pool when Norton was around?

Why was Alice unhappy with the vacuum cleaner?
Cause it SUCKED!
Good one Mikey!:yeahthat
Because Ralph was ashamed to be seen in a bathing suit.

Who brives a dus?

Pink pasties, pink thong and work boots:rofl:

Who brives a dus?
cuuuute RP :p
Trixie drives a bus, she also does road construction and whistles at shop girls passing by.

Did any of Nortons relatives ever visit?

Trixie's Aunt Dolly, who used to be a burlesque showgirl?

For the costume party at the Lodge, what does Norton plan to go as?

The tooth fairy!

What happens when Ralph and Norton try out their hair tonic on Ralph's boss?

His hair turns all colors of the rainbow and transforms into a mohawk cut.

Who, according to Ralph, is a blabbermouth?

Mr Peepers

What spacehero was Ed's idol?

Captain Terrific

What piono song does Norton play that drives Ralph crazy?

Rock n' Roll All Night

Why didn't Ralph want to pay the rent increase?

Because the increase was only a little and Ralph felt the landlord deserved much more money than what he was asking for.

How come Ralph wasn't allowed to take Alice with him to the new "rich" apartment?

Cause his mistress Marilynn Monroe was already living there

how did Ralph MEET the lucious MM?

Marilyn Monroe my idol! Nice mentioning her :D

After a late night at the movie studio she got onto his bus.. they had a conversation and one thing led to another. :lol:


Why did Ralph finally decide to pay the rent after being kicked out of the apartment?

Because if he didn't he'd have to live in a van down by the river.

A Christmas Episode where Alice and Ralph each sacrifice prized items to give the other a fitting gift is modeled after what famous short story?

War And Peace

What did Ralph really want to give Alice for Christmas?

A nice handsome man to date.


What did Alice buy Ralph for Christmas?

A Christmas Episode where Alice and Ralph each sacrifice prized items to give the other a fitting gift is modeled after what famous short story?
War And Peace :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

What did Alice buy Ralph for Christmas?
A tiger-striped thong! :eek:

What did Ralph finally end up buying Alice?

What did Alice buy Ralph for Christmas?
A tiger-striped thong! :eek:
Ewww I just got a visual of that :brent!

What did Ralph finally end up buying Alice?

Candy underwear.


Why was Ralph so desperate to get Alice's Aunt married off?

Cause she'd made a vow not to shave her legs until she found a man

What was the Honeymooner's major sponsor, during it's original run?

T-Mobile

What colors did Norton want Ralph to paint his house?

Tiger Lilly Magenta

Why does Ralph say "bang, zoom"?

He was describing his explosive gas , after having beans for dinner

What was Alice's "catchphrase"?

You may send me to the moon, but I'm sending you to Uranus!

How does Alice explain the ruined dinner to Ralph's colleague?

She said it burned cause Ralph took too much time getting back from Uranus :lol:

Joyce Randolph (Trixie) didnt get a lot of "airtime" compared to the rest of the cast, what did she do with all that spare time backstage?

Jello Shots with Rita!


When Norton and Trixie had that huge fight.. he said he had to come through the window because Trixie was standing by the door with "_____" and wouldn't let him out. What was it?

a bottle of Viagra

What was Ed Norton's job in the sewer?

a bottle of Viagra
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

What was Ed Norton's job in the sewer?
Collector of the ping pong balls.



When Ralph thought Alice was expecting what were some of the names he thought of?

Orbot Sepian Kramden the forth or Wiffletoe-Marie Kramden, if it was a girl

Did Alice want a boy, or a girl?

She was so in love with Ralph that she wanted a ton.

When Ralph gets tongue tied and nervous, what does he say?

Ohh baby, do it to me one more time!

Why did Ralph tell his boss that he knew how to play golf?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Thanks!!! :D

Why did Ralph tell his boss that he knew how to play golf?
Cause Ralph thought that ALL games were played exactly like pool (golf ball in the 18th corner pocket!)

Did Ralph ever play hockey as a kid?

No, because he spent all of his time eating at Country Buffet.

What did Norton put in his nose when he was getting ready to go to the costume contest.

Little Debbie cakes.

How did Ralph hurt his back?

How did Ralph hurt his back?
Trying to pick up a spoon Alice dropped on the floor. :lol:

What is Ralph's favorite place to go on vacation?

Aruba! He doesn't mind spending the money to go there for a week or two.

Rita has a nickname for her hubby.. what nickname does Alice give Ralph?

Mr Giggly pants

Did Alice and Norton ever "fool around"?

Oh yes! That's why Norton was always hanging around.

What did Ralph once accidentally give his boss to eat?

a small raccoon,,,he thought it tasted like chicken

Why didnt the Kramdens have a car?

Because Ralph brove a dus

What do the girls put into the wine bottle to make the boys think they are drinking wine?

i dont "get" your answer Rich @_@??????

rancid prunes

Whos face was in that moon on the Honeymooners logo?

Ralph Kramden's sister

Why was Ralph trying to sell on a tv commercial with Ed Norton?

i dont "get" your answer Rich @_@??????

rancid prunes

Whos face was in that moon on the Honeymooners logo?

I was looking at the wrong thread. I thought it was the Q where they asked about vacations

Ralph Kramden's sister

Why was Ralph trying to sell on a tv commercial with Ed Norton?

Salad dressing-since Lucy and Ethel had such a big hit with it.

How does Alice explain the botched dinner to Ralph's co-worker?

she explains the reason for the botched dinner was because she got drunk from drinking all of Ralph's grape juice

Why was Ralph always yelling at Alice?

Cause she couldnt hear him, up there on the moon, where he kept sending her

Why didnt Trixie get more lines on the series?

Why didnt Trixie get more lines on the series?
Because everybody else talked so much, she could never get a word in.

Where did Ralph & Alice go on their honeymoon?

Spain! Ralph wanted to run with the bulls.


Why did Alice put her shoes in the oven?

She ran out of food for Ralph to eat so she decided to make him his favorite:
baked old shoes with some crap on the bottom.

Why did Alice take a job stuffing jelly into doughnuts?

Because she got tired of her last job canning fruit.

Who is The Chef of The Future?

Alice's new part-time lover

What was Ralph's reason for wanting to go to Mexico?

Hookers are cheaper there.


What did Trixie plan on buying Norton and all his friends for Christmas?

Monogramed plungers.

What sound does Ralph make when he gets very nervous?

farting sounds

Why didn't Ralph provide Alice with a better place to live?

Hookers are cheaper there.

:rofl: :clap

Because he knew Brooklyn was going to be the wave of the future.

Who teaches Alice to mambo?

That World famous ballet dancer, Spanky McFarland

Did Alice ever eventually visit the moon as Ralph promised her?

Alice was sent to the moon many times and she always brought back some cheese for Ralph to eat.

Why were Ed and Ralph on the wrong train when they were on their trip?

Because they got on the train to LA when what they really wanted was the train to Louisiana.

Who's Twinkles?

Thats the code name Trixie uses for Ralph in her diary

What does Trixie say about "Twinkles" in her diary?

That he was big in more ways than one.

And what did Trixie say in her diary about Norton?

"I love Norton but his hot and heavy affair with Mrs. Manicotti must stop or I'm leaving!"


What did Ralph say on that record he sent Alice's mother?

He finally admits to Alice that he's been having an affair with Norton for the last five years of their marriage.

What was Norton's favorite TV show?

that "indian test pattern" after the stations went off the air (see below )

what did Norton almost always wear, besides that hat?

A charm bracelet with a charm in the shape of a plunger that Trixie gave him.

Who calls Ralph sonny boy?

Trixie

Which one of Ralphs "Get rich quick" schemes almost worked?

When Ralph tried to be the local drug dealer but he decided he didn't like the long hours of standing on the street corner.

what did Ralph refuse to give to the landloard?

His annual birthday kiss.

How much extra rent did the landlord want?

$1 per pound , to pay for the wear and tear Ralph was putting on the floorboards

Who almost had a fight over "wearing the same dress", on the day Ralph was slated to win an award?

Norton had a fight with Alice about wearing the same dress but then he decided he should keep his kinky lifestyle a secret.

Where did Alice want Ralph to take her on a date?

^^^ :lol: ^^^

The same place he took her on their first date, that park bench by the Hudson River, overlooking the garbage scow docks

What else did they do on the date?

Sort through the garbage looking for vintage Campbell Soup cans.

Why does Alice leave Ralph and go home to mother?

She needs a good rest at her mother's because she can no longer keep up with making all of Ralph's meals.

Why did Norton and Ralph take each other to court?

They decided it was time for them to come out of the closet and finally get married.

Why did it bother Ralph that Carlos didn't work during the day?

Cause he didnt work during the evenings either

Who did Ralph have a traffic accident with, on the day he was supposed to win his bus driver safety award?

Officer Toody from Car 54.

What does Ralph really mean when he says "Bang, Zoom!"?

That is what he would say to Alice to let her know that he just cut the cheese.

Why did Ralph and Alice hire a maid?

Because of the extra money Alice made at the doughnut shop.

How does Alice's mother feel about Ralph?

She found him hard to resist and had many good fantasies about him.


Why did Alice take that babysitting job?

She needed the extra money to support her drinking habit.

What did Alice give to Ralph that made his tongue turn blue?

Bluette Clothes Brightener

What song stumps Ralph on the musical quiz show?

The Three Stooges theme song.

Why did Ralph want to learn how to do the Mambo?

Because he had trouble learning the cha cha.

Who on the show loves Liberace?

Ralph. Who does Ralph ask to give him piano lessons???

Alice's mother

Why was Ralph always throwing Norton out of his apartment?

Because he was a good friend of Norton's and he knew Norton was practicing to be shot out of a cannon.

Who leaves Ralph a bird in their will?

Alice's mother gave Ralph "the bird" because she loved him dearly.

Why was Ralph always coming up with money making ideas?

He was saving up to "PIMP HIS BUS"

What kind of bus did Ralph drive?

The Madison Avenue Pimpmobile of 1957

Who is Fortune?

That's the brand of marijuana that Norton bought for Ralph to smoke.

Why didn't Ralph buy Alice better dresses to wear?

Because Kresge's wasn't having a seconds sale at the time.

What does Ralph mean when he says Hardy Har Har?