kfoard
02-27-2001, 03:00 PM
FLOUR BABIES
Season # 4
CAFATERIA TABLES…………
(BLAIR AND JO ARE SITTING DOWN AT A TABLE WITH 2 SACKS OF FLOUR JO'S READING AN AUTO MAGAZINE AND BLAIR IS LOOKING DOWN AT HER FLOUR NATALIE AND TOOTIE ENTER THE ROOM)
Tootie: (LOOKS DOWN TO SEE THE FLOUR) Hi guys what's with the sacks of flour
Blair: (LOOKS UP AT TOOTIE WITH AN ANGY FACE) Tootie please (LOOKS BACK DOWN AT THE FLOUR AND TAKES TO IT LIKE IT'S HER BABY) she didn't mean it honey, there, there
Natalie: (NATALIE AND TOOTIE LOOK AT EACH OTHER WITH A STRANGE LOOK) Ok come on Tootie we'd better get to class (NATALIE AND TOOTIE LEAVE)
Blair: (BLAIR LOOKS UP AND SEE'S THAT THEY HAVE GONE AND TURNS BACK TO THE FLOUR) there now that mean old lady is gone
Jo: Blair don't you think your taking this a bit far it's just a sack of flour
Blair: (GETTING MAD ONCE AGAIN) how dare you call my daughter a sack of flour
Jo: Well she is a sack of flour (GETS UP FROM HER CHAIR AND WALKS ACROSS THE ROOM)
Blair: Oh (GETS UP FROM HER CHAIR AND WALKS BEHIND JO. Jo turns around to face Blair) and I suppose your son is also a sack of flour
Jo: yeah (walks back over to the table to get her reading material)
Blair: (blair walks back to the table and picks up her flour and puts it over her shoulder) Come on Angel I don't want you to listen to that rotten talk (Jo gives her a look like maybe she's right)
Jo: (Jo takes a seat and pretends to tickle the flour Mrs. Garrett enters the room) Hey Mrs. G what's happening
Mrs. Garrett: Hi was the Blair I just saw cuddling a sack of flour
Jo: (smiling) Yeah crazy isn't she. (looks down at her flour and begins to act like Blair eariler) Oops you have a little drool on your face don't you sport (wipes the pretend drool with a cloth)
Mrs. Garrett: (looks at Jo with concern and takes a seat) apparently she's not the only one ah Jo is there something you want to talk
Jo: Oh ha ha (starts to laugh a little bit) this is my son Noah
Mrs. Garrett: (has a puzzled look on her face for a few seconds then a huge smile) Oh for your Living on your own class
Jo: Right will come on time for his feeding (picks up Noah and cuddles him in her arms)
Mrs. garrett: (mrs. garrett stands up and follows Jo) I got hand it to you Jo after I had my sons it took me months to get my figure back ( Jo looks at her and smiles) so tell me do you breast of bottle feed
GIRLS ROOM……..
(Blair's daughter is lying in her basket and Blair is reading her a story)
Blair: once a upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a beatuful queen Blair. (Jo walks in and Blair goes on with the story )Now Blair was the most, wonderful, goregous, (Jo gives her a look like she can't believe this) sensational girl in all the land one day she was walking through the forest and meant up with her princes. The man she was going to marry (Jo quickly walks up to Blair's daughter leans in and says.
Jo: kermit the frog
Blair: (looks up at Jo and gives her look) funny! There, there now you go to sleep honey. (rubs her head until the goes to sleep)
Jo; (Jo smiles at Blair and puts her son down in his basket) Your really taking this project serisouly aren't you
Blair: (gets up from the bed and walks over to Jo) Well of course it gives us a chance to see what it's going to be like when we do become mothers
Jo: Blair a baby cries, sleeps, wets, and poops. A sack of flour (pauses) nothing
Blair: (Blair sighs for a second and then has a puzzled look on her face) Oh what's that honey
Jo: don't tell me you can here Anissa crying
Blair: (looks down at Noah and picks him up) No it's Noah, Jo he wants you to hold him come on Jo he needs his mommy
Jo: Oh please Blair (getting annoyed)
Blair: Jo look at him just look into his eyes
Jo: (smiles just a little bit and looks down at Noah) well they do have a tinkle to them. (Blair hands her Noah and they both sit down on the bed to admire him)
LOUNGE…….
(natalie and tootie enter the lounge from the back door each of them are carrying school books. Tootie takes a seat on the couch and Natalie puts her books down on the table)
Natalie: so tootie how are you going to do it
Tootie: natalie please this is going to take plenty of time and condersation. This is something that can be done in 10 minutes (begins to work on some homework. Natalie takes a seat on the couch next to her)
Natalie: really I wrote your's in 5 minutes
Tootie: (looks up at Natalie) you wrote my elougucy in 5 minutes (pauses for a moment and starts to get angry) so what did I die of
Natalie: (decied to act childish) You'll just have to wait and find out oN Friday
Tootie: (in a rude way) I'm looking forward to it (goes back to her homework)
LATER THAT EVENING IN THE KITCHEN GETTING READY FOR DINNER
(Natalie and Tootie are chopping some veggies. And Blair is working on the salad Jo enters the room)
Jo: Blair the babies are sleeping just fine
Blair: Oh good I was worried about little Anissa
Natalie: (totally surprised and shocked) Babies what babies
Mrs. Garrett: oh you didn't know Blair and Jo became mothers today
Tootie: (just as shocked as Natalie) excuse me
Mrs. Garrett: Right Jo had a baby boy Noah and Blair had a baby girl Anissa
Natalie: (Natalie and Tootie are still confused but then after a few seconds Natalie gets it) Oh those sacks of flour are suppose to be your babies
Jo: (looks at Natalie with angry) Natalie don't refer to our babies are flour
Natalie: (raises her voice) is that any way for a new mother to talk
Jo: (quickly changes her tone) no proberly not sorry
Tootie: (everyone contines to work) wow motherhood's really changed you Jo
Jo: (looks up at Tootie and starts to raise her voice just a little bit) Motherhood has not changed me I'm stil the same old Jo (goes back to working on the garlic bread and starts to sing) hush little baby don't say a word mama's gonnea by your mockingbird
(Everyone looks at each other with strange looks)
Mrs. garrett: (Mrs. garrett enters the room) Natalie tootie would you mind setting the tables
Tootie: (Natalie and Tootie go into the cafateria. The table clothes are folded up on the counter Natalie and Tootie each take some and start putting them down on the table) what a great assignement that must be
Natalie: I know they have the beginning of life we have the end of life (looks up at Tootie and walks over to her) and speaking of that have you given it any more thought on how your going to do my elugey
Tootie: (goes over to counter to get the silveware) natalie please You'll find out on Friday (natalie follows her to get the glasses. Tootie turns to Natalie with a smile on her face) but I do have some pretty good ideas
Natalie: I don't care about the idea's how are you going to kill me off
(mrs. Garrett enters the room and see's the girls just standing around and talking)
Mrs. Garrett: Girls these tables won't set them selves less talk more working
Natalie: (points to Tootie and starts to pout like a baby) but mrs. Garrett Tootie won't say how she's going to kill me
Tootie: Well I'm not asking her how' she's going to do me in
Mrs. Garrett: (has a shocked look on her face) I had no idea you two were fighting, but this is no way to solve your problems
Natalie: Mrs. Garrett what are you talking about were not fighting
Mrs. Garrett: Your not
Tootie/Natalie: No
Tootie: Maybe we'd better explain Natalie and I have to write each other elugies for English
Mrs. Garrett: Oh that's what you meant by killing each other off
Natalie: Right and tootie won't tell me how she's going to do mine (still angry. Natalie and Tootie go back to setting the tables)
Mrs. garrett: (follow Natalie to a table) Well Natalie would you really want to know how your going to die
Natalie: (yells at the top of her voice) YES. (moves her hands as she saying it in different directions) Let's say 50 years from on one summer day I'm crossing the street and get hit by a bus (pauses for a moment) if I no now what's going to happen then I'll just avoid going out side during the summer
Mrs. garrett: (tootie and Mrs. Garrett look at each other. Mrs. garrett has a tiny smile on her face and turns back towards Natalie) but Natalie aren't you always talking about the fates
Tootie: (walks over to Natalie and Mrs. Garrett) She's right Natalie if a bus is meant to hit you it will hit you
Natalie: (takes a seat) That's it I'm never going outside again
Mrs. Garrett: (takes a seat next to her and puts her hand on her shoulder for support) Oh natalie you can't stay inside the rest of your life
Tootie: right and besides (takes a seat) a bus could come crashing through the wall (Mrs. garrett gives her a smuck look and Natalie has a look of panic on her face)
(Jo enters the room with a pan of garlice bread and Blair enters the room with a tray and the salad and pasta)
Jo: Fresh hot garlic bread
Mrs. Garrett: (natalie and tootie finish up the tables and Mrs. Garrett walks over to the Jo and smells the bread) Mmm smells good
Blair: And here is the salad along with the pasta ala Blair
Jo: (looks at Blair) I think I'm gonnea be sick
(Blair and Jo get the food ready and students begin to come in for dinner)
Mrs. Garrett: Will come on girls time to start serving
AFTER DINNER UP IN THE GIRLS ROOM……
(Natalie is working on her homework and Tootie is reading a book)
Blair: (Jo is sitting on the bed chaning Noah's diaper and Blair enters the room) how's Noah doing
Jo: Ah dry as a bone these new pampers really great
Blair: (takes a seat on her bed and picks up Anissa) I know aren't they and I love the baby powered sprinkled into each one makes Anissa smell fresh as a daisy
Natalie: yeah just think Blair the next time you want a dozen roses have Steve give you a dozen diapers
Blair: (looks up at Natalie and gives her a smile. She turns back to Anissa and the smile quickly fades) Oh no Steve (looks back up at her friends) I have a date with him tomorrow night (looks at Jo with a smile) Jo would you mind watching Anissa
Tootie: (puts down her book) I thought you and and Jo were doubling dating with Steve and his roommate
Jo: Oh that's right! No problem will ask Mrs. garrett to babysit for us
Blair: No we can't she has her brige game on Tuesday nights (Jo and Blair look at each other and Natalie and Tootie look at each other)
Tootie: (jumps off her bed) ah Natalie is that the phone I hear ringing
Natalie: I didn't hear the phone ring
Tootie: (leans down to Natalie) You want to baby sit tomorrow night
Natalie: (stands up from her bed) tootie I'm surprised at you. Blair and Jo need our help and I'm willing to set in
Jo: (looks at Natalie with a smile) Thanks Nat that's really nice of you
Blair: (gets off her bed and walks over the natalie puts her arm around her and smile) Natalie you're a gem is there anything we can do for you
Natalie: abut 5 bucks an hour should cover it
Jo: (stands up from her bed and the smile quickly faded) Your going to charge us 5 bucks an hour to babysit
Natalie: ( Looks Blair and then Jo) Each. Hey that's the American Way do you want a baby sitter tomorrow night
Blair: (looks at Jo with a concerned look) what do you think Jo can she be trusted
Jo: (also has a concerned look and then a tiny smile) Yeah let's give it a try
Blair: (smiles and breathes a sigh of releif Natalie and Tootie go back to there beds) Ok good I feel better now (turns to Natalie with another concern look on her face) wait you haven't had any convictions have you (Natalie gives her a look like she's crazy)
(Tuesday evening Blair is getting ready for her date and Natalie is reading a book. Jo enters the room)
Jo: Blair will you hurry up the guys are going to be here any minute
Blair: Ok I'm coming now Natalie here's the number of the resturant (hands Natalie a piece of paper) if anything should go wrong call me and I'll rush right home
Natalie: like if somebody bakes cookies with her (smiles) Blair I'm kidding
Blair: (has an angry look on her face) That's not funny natalie
Jo: (getting annoyed) Blair would you come on give Natalie a break I trust her you should trust her to
Blair: (smiling) your right I come on Jo we'd better go and meet the guys (Blair grapes her purse and walks towards the door)
Jo: (Jo follows her and just as she about to go out the door she says) Ok I'll be right there (Blair goes heads downstairs and Jo turns towards Natalie) now Natalie listen here's the number where will be
Natatlie: Jo just go and have a good time (Jo finally leaves Natalie turns towards the babies and looks down) your mommies are a little crazy but they mean well now how about a story (graps Noah's basket and puts it on Blairs Bed next to Anissa. Natalie takes a seat on Jo's bed)
Tootie: (Tooties enters the room) how's the baby sitting going
Natalie: great I was just about to tell them a story
Tootie: Oh really (sits down on the bed next to Natalie) tell them the one about the princess and the frog that's my favorite
Natalie: I know me to I love it at the end when…..
Tootie: (cuts her off) Natalie you don't want to spoil it for the kids (points to Noah and Anissa)
Natalie: Oh right (gives tootie a smile) now let's begin shall we once a upon a time… there lived ….. (tootie looks at Natalie with total fasanation in her eyes)
AT THE RESTURANT………
(Blair Jo and there dates are sitting down at the table waiting for the waitress)
Blair: (fumbles her hands and looks at Jo with worry in her eyes) I'm going to call home again
Jo: Blair you already called home 3 times Anissa is fine
Brian: Who's Anissa (looking over at Blair)
Blair: (smiling) Oh she's my daughter
Jo http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/frown.gifsmiling) and Noahs' my son
Steve: (smiles with confidence) Blair I know I'm a fantantis kisser but you can't have a baby from just a kiss
Brian: (looks at Steve with a confidenced smile) I must be even better then you because Jo and I have never kissed (blair and Jo look at each other and smile)
Waitress: (the waitress approched them with a note pad and a pencil) Hi good evening may I get your something to drink
Blair: yes I'll have an ice tea (the waitress writes it down on her pad)
Jo: (she looks up at Jo) coke (writes it down on her pad)
Steve: (the waitress looks up at Steve) I'llhave a diet coke (She writes
down on the pad)
Brian: (the waitress looks over at Brian) a glass of water with lemon (she writes it down on the pad)
Waitress: Ok I'll be right back to take your order (she leaves)
Jo: (with a tearful voice Jo takes out some pictures of Noah)I miss him so much (begins to look through the pictures)
Blair: (takes out some pictures of Anissa and looks at them) Ah Jo I know how you feel I miss Anissa to
Steve: (looks over to see the pictures) oh you got pictures can we see
Blair: (smiling she leans over to show Steve and Brian the pictures) Well sure…. See this is little Anissa when I gave her first bath,(flips to the next picture) oh and here she is getting a change (Steve and Brian look at each other with confusion)
Steve: (looks over at Jo) Jo can we see some pictures of Noah)
Jo: (smiling she leans forward) Oh sure here I am reading little Noah his favorite book (pauses) Auto Mechanics of the furture. (puts down the pictures and has a little tear in her eye) God I miss my little boy
Steve: (Steve and Brian look at each once again like there crazy) these are pictures of sacks of flour (points to the pictures)
Jo; (getting angry) How dare you call my son a sack of flour
Blair: (also getting angry) and don't you call my daughter a sack of flour either (Jo and Blair contine to look at there pictures. Steve and Brian just give each other looks)
Waitress: (the waitress comes and hands everybody there drinks) is everybody ready to order (she gets out her note pad and pencil looks over to see Blair and Jo looks at there pictures)
BACK AT EASTLAND IN THE LONGE…….
(Natalie is sitting on the couch while Anissa is sleeping next to her. Mrs. garrett enters the room)
Mrs. garrett: hi Natalie how's it the babysitting going
Natalie: Oh good Tootie's changing Noah's diaper now
Mrs. Garrett: (takes a seat on the couch) Oh I can't tell you how many times I got shot in the face when I had to change my sons (natalie giggles slightly and Mrs. Garrett also smiles) well I'm going to go and read a little before bed don't stay up to late (stands up from the couch and leaves the room)
Tootie: (tootie enters the room the room and quickly places noah down in Natalie arms) well here's little Noah all nice and changed good night (she turns to leave)
Natalie: (she starts to lift Noah up and down) ah Tootie (Tootie stops in her tracks) what's wrong here
Tootie: (she turns to Natalie with panic in her eyes) What do you mean
Natalie: he seems lighter
Tootie: (walks back to Natalie) Well you know how kids are today there going on diets younger and younger
Natalie: (starts to raise her voice) Tootie a sack of flour can't go on a diet (turns Noah over) wait a minute there's a tear back here
Tootie: (tootie sits down on the couch next to Natalie) Now Nat don't panic
Natalie: (She places Noah on the couch next to Anissa and stands up) Jo left me in charge of her baby (turns towards tootie) and you (points to Tootie) you, (pauses for a moment) you (says it very quickly) Tootie will you help me out here
Tootie: (also says it quickly) I ripped his butt when I changed the diaper and some of flour fell out
Natalie: (starts to breathe hard) oh my god (in a panic she starts making circles around the room) we have to get to the hospital quick get Mrs. Garrett to drive us
Tootie: (tooties stands up and walks over to Natalie puts her hands on her shoulders for support)Natalie get a hold of yourself it's just flour
Natalie: I know but when Jo finds out I'm going to need medical attention
Tootie: Nat I'm sure we can fix him up so Jo won't ever know
Natalie: (with a panic voice) I doubt it but I'm desperate
Tootie: come on nurse let's get scrubed up (she picks up Noah and carefully holds the tear together)
Natalie: right behind you doctor (she picks up Anissa and follows Tootie to the kitchen)
KITCHEN…….
(natalie places Anissa down in her basket on the counter)
Tootie: (she places Noah down on the counter and Natalie and her looks over at him) ok now Noah were going to fix you up good as new flour
Natalie: (Natalie goes over the caboard and takes out the canaster of flour. Since there isnt' much left she gives the rest to tootie. Tootie then pours it into a funnel cup and pours the flour into Noah she holds the rip together and puts down the funnel cup)
Tootie: stapler
Natalie: stapler (she picks up the stapler to hand tootie) Tootie your going to staple his butt
Tootie: Oh your right that proberly will hurt him
Natalie: (getting angry) yeah and Jo probelry will see the staples (pauses) how about tape
Tootie: no she'll see the tape to. (smiling as she gets an idea) Wait a minute hold him) (Natalie holds the tear together and tootie goes over to the other side of the counter and pulls something out of the drawer) invisable glue (she holds up the glue with a smile) it dries clear and Jo will never see it
Natalie: (smiling) Tootie you're a genious (Tootie walks back over to Natalie and they finish fixing up Noah)
BLAIR AND JO ENTER THE LONGE WITHOUT THERE DATES…….
Blair: I can't believe Brian got so upset when you requested to have your favorite song played
Jo: I know (she looks over at Blair) how can anybody not like the wheels on the bus go round and round
Blair: Well the important thing is were back home and we get to see our bundles of joy
Jo: yeah I know he's sleeping, but I just have to take a peek (Jo and Blair head towards the kitchen to go upstairs)
GIRLS BEDROOM……..
(natalie and tootie are playing a game of cards and Anissa and Noah are asleep in there baskets)
Natalie: (looks up from her cards when Blair and Jo walk in) hi how was your evening
Jo: (in an angry voice) I am never going out with Brian Walton again he is not the fatherly type (sees Noah and walks over to him) oh there's my little boy hi sport (she picks him up and holds him)
Blair: (Blair walks over to Anissa and picks her up) and here's my special angel hi sweetie
Tootie/Natalie: (both look at each other with worry in there eyes)
Tootie: (stands up quickly) Well I left my book down in the lunge
Natalie: (also stands up quickly) and I think I'll just go and take my shower now
Jo: (just as Tootie opens up the door. Jo puts down Noah) Hold it natalie (turns to Jo with panic on her face) (pulls something out of her pocket and walks over to Natalie) here's the money I owe you for tonight (hands Natalie the money. Natalie and Tootie both breathe a slient sigh of releif)
Blair: (puts Anissa down and graps her wallet from her purse) here's my money and a tip for doing such a wonderful job (hands Natalie 2 coins)
Natalie: (Natalie looks down at the coins and then back up at Blair) 50 cents wow I'm not sure I'll be safe with this much cash on me (she leaves the room)
OUT IN THE HALL…….
(natalie and Tootie give each other a high five and smile at each other. Tootie heads downstairs to get her book and Natalie goes to take a shower)
FRIDAY MORNING DOWN IN THE CAFERTERIA………
Natalie: (natalie enters the room with a slight panic in her voice) Well today's the day I find out how Tootie's going to do it
Mrs. Garrett: (walks over to Natalie) are you nervous Natalie
Natalie: oh no not be this is just an assingment I don't have a care in the world (gives her a tiny smile Mrs. garrett smiles back)
Tootie: (Tootie enters the room) Natalie come on we better get going
Natalie: (walks over to Tootie) Tootie I've been thinking (Mrs. garrett walks towards the kitchen) if we don't' go to class then our elugies can't be read, so there for we won't die
Mrs. Garrett: (just as Mrs. Garrett about to the kitchen door she turns back towards the girls with angry in her eyes and voice) Oh yes you will
Natalie: What
Mrs. Garrett: (starts to walk towards Natalie and yells) you miss class and I'll do you in myself
Tootie: (swallows hard) coming Natalie
Natalie: Right behind you (Natalie and Tootie quickly leave)
Mrs. Garrett: (mrs. Garrett walks into the kitchen and Jo enters the room carrying her basket mrs. Garrett laughs remembering how Natalie was) Ha ha oh girls today's the last day of your assignment too
Jo: (puts her basket down on the counter and looks in on Noah) Yeah after today I'll no longer be a mother kids today they grow up so fast
Mrs. Garrett: (puts her hands on her shoulder for support) Oh I know Jo I know (smiling) but remember the good times you shared remember the memories. (the smile quickly fades) Remember you two broughted that flour from me and I'll need it back
Blair: (Blair enters the room carrying her basket) Ready Jo (with a tearful voice) I can't believe my little girl is leaving the nest
Mrs. Garrett: Oh Blair don't think of her as leaving the nest. Think of her as going on to do better and more meaninful things
Blair: (she looks at Mrs. Garrett with a smile) your right I can see her going off to college getting married having a little girl of her own
Jo: no I think Mrs. G means she needs flour for the cookies and pies (Mrs. garrett starts to laugh and jo and Blair leave)
NATALIE AND TOOTIE ENGLISH CLASS……..
Mr. Timinson: very nice Stacy. Ok Natalie your up (stacy walks back to her desk and natalie walks up front)
Natalie: (she looks at her classmates with sorrow) Friends, Family, classmates we are gathered here today to celerbrate the life on Dorothy Ramsey better know to her friends and loved ones as (pauses for a second) Tootie. Tootie passed away of old age last Saturday, (looks down to the floor and back up ) she would have been 36 here next birthday. (tootie begins to get angry) She was an aspring actress who never made it in show business. (tootie getting angrier) The last 10 years of her life, she spent them in the company of her loved one. Harold and Jake. (pauses for a moment) Yes how she loved her dogs (students begin to laugh)(tootie slams her hand down on the table in angry) we will always remember and love Tootie Ramsey (Natalie smiles and turns towards Mr. Timinson)
Mr. Timinson: thank you Natalie (looks over at tootie) Ah tootie do you have a comment
Tootie: (stands up and yells) yeah can I read her's now
Natalie: (tootie walks up to the front and passes Tootie on the way) I'll miss you tootie
Tootie: (in angry voice) nice knowing you sweetie (when Tootie gets to the front she turns to her classmates and looks at Natalie with angry in her eyes) alright let's cut to the chase. Natalie green was a mean rotten horriable person. (Natalies opens her eyes and mouth really wide) She needed to die and I say (tosses her hands up in the air) praise the lord (claps her hands together) let the good times roll. Amen
Natalie: (natalie stands up from her chair and walks towards the front) What the hell was that (yelling)
Tootie: (yelling right back) Well what about yours I was never so shocked in all my life
Mr. Timison: I know to die so young and in only the company of 2 dogs
Tootie: (turns towards Mr. Timinson) I was talking about not making in show business
Mr. Timinson: (looks down at his watch and then back up) Girls I think that will be all for today (everyone gets there books together and leaves)
OUT IN THE HALL………
Tootie: (natalie walks ahead of Tootie and Tootie catches up) Natalie is that how you really feel about my show business
Natalie: (stops walking and turns towards tootie) not really I guess I just get a little jealous sometimes
Tootie: jealous why
Natalie: tootie when you act people get to see you play different characters in life
Tootie: Well when you write don't the characters come to life for your readers
Natalie: I guess I never thought of it that way (pauses for a moment) I'm really sorry Tootie (smiles. Tootie smiles back and they hug)
Tootie: That's ok come on let's go to lunch
Natalie: So tell me was that eulogie you were working on all week
Tootie: No I got mad at what you said, so I made it up on the spot
Natalie: So what did you write
Tootie: Come on I'll tell you over lunch (Tootie puts her arm around natalie's shoulder and Natalie looks at her with a smile. They leave to go to lunch)
THE END
Season # 4
CAFATERIA TABLES…………
(BLAIR AND JO ARE SITTING DOWN AT A TABLE WITH 2 SACKS OF FLOUR JO'S READING AN AUTO MAGAZINE AND BLAIR IS LOOKING DOWN AT HER FLOUR NATALIE AND TOOTIE ENTER THE ROOM)
Tootie: (LOOKS DOWN TO SEE THE FLOUR) Hi guys what's with the sacks of flour
Blair: (LOOKS UP AT TOOTIE WITH AN ANGY FACE) Tootie please (LOOKS BACK DOWN AT THE FLOUR AND TAKES TO IT LIKE IT'S HER BABY) she didn't mean it honey, there, there
Natalie: (NATALIE AND TOOTIE LOOK AT EACH OTHER WITH A STRANGE LOOK) Ok come on Tootie we'd better get to class (NATALIE AND TOOTIE LEAVE)
Blair: (BLAIR LOOKS UP AND SEE'S THAT THEY HAVE GONE AND TURNS BACK TO THE FLOUR) there now that mean old lady is gone
Jo: Blair don't you think your taking this a bit far it's just a sack of flour
Blair: (GETTING MAD ONCE AGAIN) how dare you call my daughter a sack of flour
Jo: Well she is a sack of flour (GETS UP FROM HER CHAIR AND WALKS ACROSS THE ROOM)
Blair: Oh (GETS UP FROM HER CHAIR AND WALKS BEHIND JO. Jo turns around to face Blair) and I suppose your son is also a sack of flour
Jo: yeah (walks back over to the table to get her reading material)
Blair: (blair walks back to the table and picks up her flour and puts it over her shoulder) Come on Angel I don't want you to listen to that rotten talk (Jo gives her a look like maybe she's right)
Jo: (Jo takes a seat and pretends to tickle the flour Mrs. Garrett enters the room) Hey Mrs. G what's happening
Mrs. Garrett: Hi was the Blair I just saw cuddling a sack of flour
Jo: (smiling) Yeah crazy isn't she. (looks down at her flour and begins to act like Blair eariler) Oops you have a little drool on your face don't you sport (wipes the pretend drool with a cloth)
Mrs. Garrett: (looks at Jo with concern and takes a seat) apparently she's not the only one ah Jo is there something you want to talk
Jo: Oh ha ha (starts to laugh a little bit) this is my son Noah
Mrs. Garrett: (has a puzzled look on her face for a few seconds then a huge smile) Oh for your Living on your own class
Jo: Right will come on time for his feeding (picks up Noah and cuddles him in her arms)
Mrs. garrett: (mrs. garrett stands up and follows Jo) I got hand it to you Jo after I had my sons it took me months to get my figure back ( Jo looks at her and smiles) so tell me do you breast of bottle feed
GIRLS ROOM……..
(Blair's daughter is lying in her basket and Blair is reading her a story)
Blair: once a upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a beatuful queen Blair. (Jo walks in and Blair goes on with the story )Now Blair was the most, wonderful, goregous, (Jo gives her a look like she can't believe this) sensational girl in all the land one day she was walking through the forest and meant up with her princes. The man she was going to marry (Jo quickly walks up to Blair's daughter leans in and says.
Jo: kermit the frog
Blair: (looks up at Jo and gives her look) funny! There, there now you go to sleep honey. (rubs her head until the goes to sleep)
Jo; (Jo smiles at Blair and puts her son down in his basket) Your really taking this project serisouly aren't you
Blair: (gets up from the bed and walks over to Jo) Well of course it gives us a chance to see what it's going to be like when we do become mothers
Jo: Blair a baby cries, sleeps, wets, and poops. A sack of flour (pauses) nothing
Blair: (Blair sighs for a second and then has a puzzled look on her face) Oh what's that honey
Jo: don't tell me you can here Anissa crying
Blair: (looks down at Noah and picks him up) No it's Noah, Jo he wants you to hold him come on Jo he needs his mommy
Jo: Oh please Blair (getting annoyed)
Blair: Jo look at him just look into his eyes
Jo: (smiles just a little bit and looks down at Noah) well they do have a tinkle to them. (Blair hands her Noah and they both sit down on the bed to admire him)
LOUNGE…….
(natalie and tootie enter the lounge from the back door each of them are carrying school books. Tootie takes a seat on the couch and Natalie puts her books down on the table)
Natalie: so tootie how are you going to do it
Tootie: natalie please this is going to take plenty of time and condersation. This is something that can be done in 10 minutes (begins to work on some homework. Natalie takes a seat on the couch next to her)
Natalie: really I wrote your's in 5 minutes
Tootie: (looks up at Natalie) you wrote my elougucy in 5 minutes (pauses for a moment and starts to get angry) so what did I die of
Natalie: (decied to act childish) You'll just have to wait and find out oN Friday
Tootie: (in a rude way) I'm looking forward to it (goes back to her homework)
LATER THAT EVENING IN THE KITCHEN GETTING READY FOR DINNER
(Natalie and Tootie are chopping some veggies. And Blair is working on the salad Jo enters the room)
Jo: Blair the babies are sleeping just fine
Blair: Oh good I was worried about little Anissa
Natalie: (totally surprised and shocked) Babies what babies
Mrs. Garrett: oh you didn't know Blair and Jo became mothers today
Tootie: (just as shocked as Natalie) excuse me
Mrs. Garrett: Right Jo had a baby boy Noah and Blair had a baby girl Anissa
Natalie: (Natalie and Tootie are still confused but then after a few seconds Natalie gets it) Oh those sacks of flour are suppose to be your babies
Jo: (looks at Natalie with angry) Natalie don't refer to our babies are flour
Natalie: (raises her voice) is that any way for a new mother to talk
Jo: (quickly changes her tone) no proberly not sorry
Tootie: (everyone contines to work) wow motherhood's really changed you Jo
Jo: (looks up at Tootie and starts to raise her voice just a little bit) Motherhood has not changed me I'm stil the same old Jo (goes back to working on the garlic bread and starts to sing) hush little baby don't say a word mama's gonnea by your mockingbird
(Everyone looks at each other with strange looks)
Mrs. garrett: (Mrs. garrett enters the room) Natalie tootie would you mind setting the tables
Tootie: (Natalie and Tootie go into the cafateria. The table clothes are folded up on the counter Natalie and Tootie each take some and start putting them down on the table) what a great assignement that must be
Natalie: I know they have the beginning of life we have the end of life (looks up at Tootie and walks over to her) and speaking of that have you given it any more thought on how your going to do my elugey
Tootie: (goes over to counter to get the silveware) natalie please You'll find out on Friday (natalie follows her to get the glasses. Tootie turns to Natalie with a smile on her face) but I do have some pretty good ideas
Natalie: I don't care about the idea's how are you going to kill me off
(mrs. Garrett enters the room and see's the girls just standing around and talking)
Mrs. Garrett: Girls these tables won't set them selves less talk more working
Natalie: (points to Tootie and starts to pout like a baby) but mrs. Garrett Tootie won't say how she's going to kill me
Tootie: Well I'm not asking her how' she's going to do me in
Mrs. Garrett: (has a shocked look on her face) I had no idea you two were fighting, but this is no way to solve your problems
Natalie: Mrs. Garrett what are you talking about were not fighting
Mrs. Garrett: Your not
Tootie/Natalie: No
Tootie: Maybe we'd better explain Natalie and I have to write each other elugies for English
Mrs. Garrett: Oh that's what you meant by killing each other off
Natalie: Right and tootie won't tell me how she's going to do mine (still angry. Natalie and Tootie go back to setting the tables)
Mrs. garrett: (follow Natalie to a table) Well Natalie would you really want to know how your going to die
Natalie: (yells at the top of her voice) YES. (moves her hands as she saying it in different directions) Let's say 50 years from on one summer day I'm crossing the street and get hit by a bus (pauses for a moment) if I no now what's going to happen then I'll just avoid going out side during the summer
Mrs. garrett: (tootie and Mrs. Garrett look at each other. Mrs. garrett has a tiny smile on her face and turns back towards Natalie) but Natalie aren't you always talking about the fates
Tootie: (walks over to Natalie and Mrs. Garrett) She's right Natalie if a bus is meant to hit you it will hit you
Natalie: (takes a seat) That's it I'm never going outside again
Mrs. Garrett: (takes a seat next to her and puts her hand on her shoulder for support) Oh natalie you can't stay inside the rest of your life
Tootie: right and besides (takes a seat) a bus could come crashing through the wall (Mrs. garrett gives her a smuck look and Natalie has a look of panic on her face)
(Jo enters the room with a pan of garlice bread and Blair enters the room with a tray and the salad and pasta)
Jo: Fresh hot garlic bread
Mrs. Garrett: (natalie and tootie finish up the tables and Mrs. Garrett walks over to the Jo and smells the bread) Mmm smells good
Blair: And here is the salad along with the pasta ala Blair
Jo: (looks at Blair) I think I'm gonnea be sick
(Blair and Jo get the food ready and students begin to come in for dinner)
Mrs. Garrett: Will come on girls time to start serving
AFTER DINNER UP IN THE GIRLS ROOM……
(Natalie is working on her homework and Tootie is reading a book)
Blair: (Jo is sitting on the bed chaning Noah's diaper and Blair enters the room) how's Noah doing
Jo: Ah dry as a bone these new pampers really great
Blair: (takes a seat on her bed and picks up Anissa) I know aren't they and I love the baby powered sprinkled into each one makes Anissa smell fresh as a daisy
Natalie: yeah just think Blair the next time you want a dozen roses have Steve give you a dozen diapers
Blair: (looks up at Natalie and gives her a smile. She turns back to Anissa and the smile quickly fades) Oh no Steve (looks back up at her friends) I have a date with him tomorrow night (looks at Jo with a smile) Jo would you mind watching Anissa
Tootie: (puts down her book) I thought you and and Jo were doubling dating with Steve and his roommate
Jo: Oh that's right! No problem will ask Mrs. garrett to babysit for us
Blair: No we can't she has her brige game on Tuesday nights (Jo and Blair look at each other and Natalie and Tootie look at each other)
Tootie: (jumps off her bed) ah Natalie is that the phone I hear ringing
Natalie: I didn't hear the phone ring
Tootie: (leans down to Natalie) You want to baby sit tomorrow night
Natalie: (stands up from her bed) tootie I'm surprised at you. Blair and Jo need our help and I'm willing to set in
Jo: (looks at Natalie with a smile) Thanks Nat that's really nice of you
Blair: (gets off her bed and walks over the natalie puts her arm around her and smile) Natalie you're a gem is there anything we can do for you
Natalie: abut 5 bucks an hour should cover it
Jo: (stands up from her bed and the smile quickly faded) Your going to charge us 5 bucks an hour to babysit
Natalie: ( Looks Blair and then Jo) Each. Hey that's the American Way do you want a baby sitter tomorrow night
Blair: (looks at Jo with a concerned look) what do you think Jo can she be trusted
Jo: (also has a concerned look and then a tiny smile) Yeah let's give it a try
Blair: (smiles and breathes a sigh of releif Natalie and Tootie go back to there beds) Ok good I feel better now (turns to Natalie with another concern look on her face) wait you haven't had any convictions have you (Natalie gives her a look like she's crazy)
(Tuesday evening Blair is getting ready for her date and Natalie is reading a book. Jo enters the room)
Jo: Blair will you hurry up the guys are going to be here any minute
Blair: Ok I'm coming now Natalie here's the number of the resturant (hands Natalie a piece of paper) if anything should go wrong call me and I'll rush right home
Natalie: like if somebody bakes cookies with her (smiles) Blair I'm kidding
Blair: (has an angry look on her face) That's not funny natalie
Jo: (getting annoyed) Blair would you come on give Natalie a break I trust her you should trust her to
Blair: (smiling) your right I come on Jo we'd better go and meet the guys (Blair grapes her purse and walks towards the door)
Jo: (Jo follows her and just as she about to go out the door she says) Ok I'll be right there (Blair goes heads downstairs and Jo turns towards Natalie) now Natalie listen here's the number where will be
Natatlie: Jo just go and have a good time (Jo finally leaves Natalie turns towards the babies and looks down) your mommies are a little crazy but they mean well now how about a story (graps Noah's basket and puts it on Blairs Bed next to Anissa. Natalie takes a seat on Jo's bed)
Tootie: (Tooties enters the room) how's the baby sitting going
Natalie: great I was just about to tell them a story
Tootie: Oh really (sits down on the bed next to Natalie) tell them the one about the princess and the frog that's my favorite
Natalie: I know me to I love it at the end when…..
Tootie: (cuts her off) Natalie you don't want to spoil it for the kids (points to Noah and Anissa)
Natalie: Oh right (gives tootie a smile) now let's begin shall we once a upon a time… there lived ….. (tootie looks at Natalie with total fasanation in her eyes)
AT THE RESTURANT………
(Blair Jo and there dates are sitting down at the table waiting for the waitress)
Blair: (fumbles her hands and looks at Jo with worry in her eyes) I'm going to call home again
Jo: Blair you already called home 3 times Anissa is fine
Brian: Who's Anissa (looking over at Blair)
Blair: (smiling) Oh she's my daughter
Jo http://www.sitcomsonline.com/ubb/frown.gifsmiling) and Noahs' my son
Steve: (smiles with confidence) Blair I know I'm a fantantis kisser but you can't have a baby from just a kiss
Brian: (looks at Steve with a confidenced smile) I must be even better then you because Jo and I have never kissed (blair and Jo look at each other and smile)
Waitress: (the waitress approched them with a note pad and a pencil) Hi good evening may I get your something to drink
Blair: yes I'll have an ice tea (the waitress writes it down on her pad)
Jo: (she looks up at Jo) coke (writes it down on her pad)
Steve: (the waitress looks up at Steve) I'llhave a diet coke (She writes
down on the pad)
Brian: (the waitress looks over at Brian) a glass of water with lemon (she writes it down on the pad)
Waitress: Ok I'll be right back to take your order (she leaves)
Jo: (with a tearful voice Jo takes out some pictures of Noah)I miss him so much (begins to look through the pictures)
Blair: (takes out some pictures of Anissa and looks at them) Ah Jo I know how you feel I miss Anissa to
Steve: (looks over to see the pictures) oh you got pictures can we see
Blair: (smiling she leans over to show Steve and Brian the pictures) Well sure…. See this is little Anissa when I gave her first bath,(flips to the next picture) oh and here she is getting a change (Steve and Brian look at each other with confusion)
Steve: (looks over at Jo) Jo can we see some pictures of Noah)
Jo: (smiling she leans forward) Oh sure here I am reading little Noah his favorite book (pauses) Auto Mechanics of the furture. (puts down the pictures and has a little tear in her eye) God I miss my little boy
Steve: (Steve and Brian look at each once again like there crazy) these are pictures of sacks of flour (points to the pictures)
Jo; (getting angry) How dare you call my son a sack of flour
Blair: (also getting angry) and don't you call my daughter a sack of flour either (Jo and Blair contine to look at there pictures. Steve and Brian just give each other looks)
Waitress: (the waitress comes and hands everybody there drinks) is everybody ready to order (she gets out her note pad and pencil looks over to see Blair and Jo looks at there pictures)
BACK AT EASTLAND IN THE LONGE…….
(Natalie is sitting on the couch while Anissa is sleeping next to her. Mrs. garrett enters the room)
Mrs. garrett: hi Natalie how's it the babysitting going
Natalie: Oh good Tootie's changing Noah's diaper now
Mrs. Garrett: (takes a seat on the couch) Oh I can't tell you how many times I got shot in the face when I had to change my sons (natalie giggles slightly and Mrs. Garrett also smiles) well I'm going to go and read a little before bed don't stay up to late (stands up from the couch and leaves the room)
Tootie: (tootie enters the room the room and quickly places noah down in Natalie arms) well here's little Noah all nice and changed good night (she turns to leave)
Natalie: (she starts to lift Noah up and down) ah Tootie (Tootie stops in her tracks) what's wrong here
Tootie: (she turns to Natalie with panic in her eyes) What do you mean
Natalie: he seems lighter
Tootie: (walks back to Natalie) Well you know how kids are today there going on diets younger and younger
Natalie: (starts to raise her voice) Tootie a sack of flour can't go on a diet (turns Noah over) wait a minute there's a tear back here
Tootie: (tootie sits down on the couch next to Natalie) Now Nat don't panic
Natalie: (She places Noah on the couch next to Anissa and stands up) Jo left me in charge of her baby (turns towards tootie) and you (points to Tootie) you, (pauses for a moment) you (says it very quickly) Tootie will you help me out here
Tootie: (also says it quickly) I ripped his butt when I changed the diaper and some of flour fell out
Natalie: (starts to breathe hard) oh my god (in a panic she starts making circles around the room) we have to get to the hospital quick get Mrs. Garrett to drive us
Tootie: (tooties stands up and walks over to Natalie puts her hands on her shoulders for support)Natalie get a hold of yourself it's just flour
Natalie: I know but when Jo finds out I'm going to need medical attention
Tootie: Nat I'm sure we can fix him up so Jo won't ever know
Natalie: (with a panic voice) I doubt it but I'm desperate
Tootie: come on nurse let's get scrubed up (she picks up Noah and carefully holds the tear together)
Natalie: right behind you doctor (she picks up Anissa and follows Tootie to the kitchen)
KITCHEN…….
(natalie places Anissa down in her basket on the counter)
Tootie: (she places Noah down on the counter and Natalie and her looks over at him) ok now Noah were going to fix you up good as new flour
Natalie: (Natalie goes over the caboard and takes out the canaster of flour. Since there isnt' much left she gives the rest to tootie. Tootie then pours it into a funnel cup and pours the flour into Noah she holds the rip together and puts down the funnel cup)
Tootie: stapler
Natalie: stapler (she picks up the stapler to hand tootie) Tootie your going to staple his butt
Tootie: Oh your right that proberly will hurt him
Natalie: (getting angry) yeah and Jo probelry will see the staples (pauses) how about tape
Tootie: no she'll see the tape to. (smiling as she gets an idea) Wait a minute hold him) (Natalie holds the tear together and tootie goes over to the other side of the counter and pulls something out of the drawer) invisable glue (she holds up the glue with a smile) it dries clear and Jo will never see it
Natalie: (smiling) Tootie you're a genious (Tootie walks back over to Natalie and they finish fixing up Noah)
BLAIR AND JO ENTER THE LONGE WITHOUT THERE DATES…….
Blair: I can't believe Brian got so upset when you requested to have your favorite song played
Jo: I know (she looks over at Blair) how can anybody not like the wheels on the bus go round and round
Blair: Well the important thing is were back home and we get to see our bundles of joy
Jo: yeah I know he's sleeping, but I just have to take a peek (Jo and Blair head towards the kitchen to go upstairs)
GIRLS BEDROOM……..
(natalie and tootie are playing a game of cards and Anissa and Noah are asleep in there baskets)
Natalie: (looks up from her cards when Blair and Jo walk in) hi how was your evening
Jo: (in an angry voice) I am never going out with Brian Walton again he is not the fatherly type (sees Noah and walks over to him) oh there's my little boy hi sport (she picks him up and holds him)
Blair: (Blair walks over to Anissa and picks her up) and here's my special angel hi sweetie
Tootie/Natalie: (both look at each other with worry in there eyes)
Tootie: (stands up quickly) Well I left my book down in the lunge
Natalie: (also stands up quickly) and I think I'll just go and take my shower now
Jo: (just as Tootie opens up the door. Jo puts down Noah) Hold it natalie (turns to Jo with panic on her face) (pulls something out of her pocket and walks over to Natalie) here's the money I owe you for tonight (hands Natalie the money. Natalie and Tootie both breathe a slient sigh of releif)
Blair: (puts Anissa down and graps her wallet from her purse) here's my money and a tip for doing such a wonderful job (hands Natalie 2 coins)
Natalie: (Natalie looks down at the coins and then back up at Blair) 50 cents wow I'm not sure I'll be safe with this much cash on me (she leaves the room)
OUT IN THE HALL…….
(natalie and Tootie give each other a high five and smile at each other. Tootie heads downstairs to get her book and Natalie goes to take a shower)
FRIDAY MORNING DOWN IN THE CAFERTERIA………
Natalie: (natalie enters the room with a slight panic in her voice) Well today's the day I find out how Tootie's going to do it
Mrs. Garrett: (walks over to Natalie) are you nervous Natalie
Natalie: oh no not be this is just an assingment I don't have a care in the world (gives her a tiny smile Mrs. garrett smiles back)
Tootie: (Tootie enters the room) Natalie come on we better get going
Natalie: (walks over to Tootie) Tootie I've been thinking (Mrs. garrett walks towards the kitchen) if we don't' go to class then our elugies can't be read, so there for we won't die
Mrs. Garrett: (just as Mrs. Garrett about to the kitchen door she turns back towards the girls with angry in her eyes and voice) Oh yes you will
Natalie: What
Mrs. Garrett: (starts to walk towards Natalie and yells) you miss class and I'll do you in myself
Tootie: (swallows hard) coming Natalie
Natalie: Right behind you (Natalie and Tootie quickly leave)
Mrs. Garrett: (mrs. Garrett walks into the kitchen and Jo enters the room carrying her basket mrs. Garrett laughs remembering how Natalie was) Ha ha oh girls today's the last day of your assignment too
Jo: (puts her basket down on the counter and looks in on Noah) Yeah after today I'll no longer be a mother kids today they grow up so fast
Mrs. Garrett: (puts her hands on her shoulder for support) Oh I know Jo I know (smiling) but remember the good times you shared remember the memories. (the smile quickly fades) Remember you two broughted that flour from me and I'll need it back
Blair: (Blair enters the room carrying her basket) Ready Jo (with a tearful voice) I can't believe my little girl is leaving the nest
Mrs. Garrett: Oh Blair don't think of her as leaving the nest. Think of her as going on to do better and more meaninful things
Blair: (she looks at Mrs. Garrett with a smile) your right I can see her going off to college getting married having a little girl of her own
Jo: no I think Mrs. G means she needs flour for the cookies and pies (Mrs. garrett starts to laugh and jo and Blair leave)
NATALIE AND TOOTIE ENGLISH CLASS……..
Mr. Timinson: very nice Stacy. Ok Natalie your up (stacy walks back to her desk and natalie walks up front)
Natalie: (she looks at her classmates with sorrow) Friends, Family, classmates we are gathered here today to celerbrate the life on Dorothy Ramsey better know to her friends and loved ones as (pauses for a second) Tootie. Tootie passed away of old age last Saturday, (looks down to the floor and back up ) she would have been 36 here next birthday. (tootie begins to get angry) She was an aspring actress who never made it in show business. (tootie getting angrier) The last 10 years of her life, she spent them in the company of her loved one. Harold and Jake. (pauses for a moment) Yes how she loved her dogs (students begin to laugh)(tootie slams her hand down on the table in angry) we will always remember and love Tootie Ramsey (Natalie smiles and turns towards Mr. Timinson)
Mr. Timinson: thank you Natalie (looks over at tootie) Ah tootie do you have a comment
Tootie: (stands up and yells) yeah can I read her's now
Natalie: (tootie walks up to the front and passes Tootie on the way) I'll miss you tootie
Tootie: (in angry voice) nice knowing you sweetie (when Tootie gets to the front she turns to her classmates and looks at Natalie with angry in her eyes) alright let's cut to the chase. Natalie green was a mean rotten horriable person. (Natalies opens her eyes and mouth really wide) She needed to die and I say (tosses her hands up in the air) praise the lord (claps her hands together) let the good times roll. Amen
Natalie: (natalie stands up from her chair and walks towards the front) What the hell was that (yelling)
Tootie: (yelling right back) Well what about yours I was never so shocked in all my life
Mr. Timison: I know to die so young and in only the company of 2 dogs
Tootie: (turns towards Mr. Timinson) I was talking about not making in show business
Mr. Timinson: (looks down at his watch and then back up) Girls I think that will be all for today (everyone gets there books together and leaves)
OUT IN THE HALL………
Tootie: (natalie walks ahead of Tootie and Tootie catches up) Natalie is that how you really feel about my show business
Natalie: (stops walking and turns towards tootie) not really I guess I just get a little jealous sometimes
Tootie: jealous why
Natalie: tootie when you act people get to see you play different characters in life
Tootie: Well when you write don't the characters come to life for your readers
Natalie: I guess I never thought of it that way (pauses for a moment) I'm really sorry Tootie (smiles. Tootie smiles back and they hug)
Tootie: That's ok come on let's go to lunch
Natalie: So tell me was that eulogie you were working on all week
Tootie: No I got mad at what you said, so I made it up on the spot
Natalie: So what did you write
Tootie: Come on I'll tell you over lunch (Tootie puts her arm around natalie's shoulder and Natalie looks at her with a smile. They leave to go to lunch)
THE END