"Better Living Through TV":

(Ed is wearing one of Trixie's dresses.)

Trixie: "Do you have to smkoe that cigar?"

Ed: "Please, it's the only link left to the old me."

"Opportuinty Knocks, But":

Alice: "It's a blow to your pride."

Ralph: "It's not my pride Alice. It's not my pride."

Alice: "You job is still the same."

Ralph: "Turst me Alice. When Ed becomes my boss, I will quit."

Alice: "Why?"

Ralph: "I have my pride."

"TV or Not TV":

Ralph: "You are taking that set over my dead body."

Ed: "I couldn't do that. What do you think I am, a mountain climber?"

"Teamwork Beats The Clock":

Ralph: "How can I get there as fast as you Alice?"

Ed: "Take off 90 pounds."

"Finders Keepers":

Ralph: "We will see hamburges, hot dogs, flapjacks, pizza pies..."

Ed: "And we will widen the front door."

Ralph: "Why would we do that?"

Ed: "With all that food, how are you going to get in and out?"

"Game Called On Account of Marriage":

Ralph: "What could I guy want that is down in the sewer that he needs $2 right away?"

Ed: "Today is pay day, and the guys have a dice going around down there. Well, you might as well call it a floating crap game."

"In 25 Words Or Less":

(The waiter makes crepe zuzzets [Franch pancakes], he starts a fire on his grill. Ralph sees it and puts the fire out with a fire extinguisher.)

Ralph: "It's a good thing I was here or the whole boat would have been on fire."

Alice: "Ralph, those were French pancakes."

Ralph: "I don't care what started the fire."

"In 25 Words Or Less":

Ralph: "Flakey Wakey's add to the taste..."

Ed: "But take away from your fat little waist."

"Ship Of Fools":

Ed: "I went to Europe once."

Man: "Did you enjoy it?"

Ed: "No, the Germans kept shooting at me."