"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

(Ralph picks up a burnt jacket.)

Ralph: "Is this your idea of a joke Norton?"

Ed: "No, that is my idea of a burn."

"Opportunity Knocks, But":

Butler: "Mr. Marshall will be here shortly. He is in the library."

Ed: "The library?"

(Ed looks at watch.)

Ed: "He ought to be here soon. The library closes at 9."

"Mama Loves Mambo":

Mrs. Manicotti: "But Mr. Kramden, it is fun."

(She does the mambo.)

Ralph: "And you, at your age, ought to be ashmaed of yourself.)

"Hot Dog Stand":

(Alice won't hand over to Ralph the money.)

Ralph: "Will you let me have it? Will you let me have it?"

Alice (mockingly): "Will you let me have it? Will you let me have it?"

Ralph (making a fist): "Boy, I would love to let you have it."

"Teamwork Beats The Clock":

Ralph: "As usual, I am carrying the whole laod on my shoulders."

Alice: "You are carrying the laod all right but it is not on your shoulders."

"Finders Keepers":

(Ralph & Ed are in the automat across the street from the Cornelius Vanderbilt Statue.)

Ralph (reading the clues): "'Cornelisu will be watching you...'"

Ed: "Wait a minute."

(Ed walks away, goes through the revolving door, and then he comes back.)

Ralph: "Now, what did you just do?"

Ed: "Okay, Corny is watching us."

"King Of The Castle":

Ralph: "Watch how it should be done. It is all in the form."

(Ralph does some body movements and then bowls.)

Ed: "Lucky shot. You managed to knock down one pin."

"King Of The Castle":

Alice: "I thought you were leaving forever."

Ralph: "I wouldn't give you the satisfaction."

"Two For The Money":

Ralph: "Happy is the worst horse. I saw them take the bandages off the horse."

Ed: "Yeah, Happy had a bad headache." Ha!

Man: "If he had bandages on his legs, why didn't he stretch them?"

Ed: "Happy didn't have to do that. They put Olive Oil on his legs before they put the bandages on."