'Transformers'

Yes, yes, we know: "'Transformers' was my childhood favorite! I owned all the action figures! I used to sing the theme song on my way to kindergarten!" Trust us, we've been there. What Generation X childhood was complete without a shelf full of Aerialbots? But have you seen "Transformers" recently? Or even in the past 10 years? Grown-up fans can find the series disappointing: nothing but slow car chases, bland explosions and the ear-piercing voice of Starscream. In this millennia-long war, characters never seemed to die, they just disappeared -- and the visual artistry that we once admired now looks a little jolty. Plus, the soundtrack: the constant guitar riffs squealing in the background, no matter what was happening. It was enough, in 1984, to root for the Autobots just because Optimus Prime sounded like John Wayne -- but why, exactly, were the Autobots good and the Decepticons evil? Today we expect more of our action heroes. Let's just hope that Michael Bay can transform "Transformers" and truly make them "more than meets the eye."