"Ralph Kramden Inc.":

Ralph: "Are you sure that that suitcase can hold $40,000,000. Why don't you cut pieces of paper into the shape of dollars bills and find out?"

(Ed opens up his case to reveal that he did just that.)

Ed: "Small details."

"Young Man With A Horn":

Ralph: "I am writing down a list of all my weak points."

Ed: "Oh, is that all the paper you are going to use?"

"Dial J For Janitor":

Ralph: "Why should I cut out bowling? It's my only relaxation. Besides, the exercise is good for me to keep down my weight."

Alice: "You don't need something to keep your weight down. You need something to hold it up."

"Letter To The Boss":

Ed: "I know what you should do your boss after he fires you."

Ralph: "What?"

Ed: "Write him another nasty letter."

"Letter To The Boss":

Ed: "I got a solution to open up that mailbox. Dynamite."

Ralph: "What is it?"

Ed: "That is waht I said. Dynamite."

"The People's Choice" & "Finger Man":

Ed: "My Uncle's place in New Jersey. Bullets will never find you there."

Ralph: "He won't."

Ed: "Of course not. I have been down there three Sundays in a row. I can't even find the place myself."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

Ralph: "Norton, do you like the furniture here?"

Ed: "Yeah."

Ralph (to Alice): "There you are."

Ed: "Of course. I don't live here."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

(Ralph tries to butter up Alice.)

Ralph: "Do you know how foolish I am going out every night when I have a beautiful wife at home?"

Ed: "At least I got a good excuse."

"Be It Ever So Humble":

(The gang is in the broken-down home.)

Ed: "How long is this lease for?"

Ralph: "The usual."

Ed: "How long is that?"

Ralph "99 years."

Ed: "99 years?"

Ralph: "Yes, 99 years. That's what America gets from Great Britian when they do that lend-lease stuff."

Ed: "Yeah, but this place isn't exactly Bermuda."