I lost my dad when i was 17 he died really suddendly of a heart attack,i miss him like crazy it has been almost 9 years now and it still feels like yesterday.My life has not been the same since neither has my mothers or my brother and sisters,my brother Andrew drank alot after my father died and it has got even worst since,you see he still lives with my mother and hasnt been able to move on since.He drinks everyday and starts arguments when doing so.There is nothing we can do for him as he wont listen to anybodys points of view and help.I feel he will get worst and end up dead as he drinks 12 cans of strong beer a day.Can anybody please give me advice.

Have you tried doing an intervention?

Sorry to hear about the loss of your father, I feel lucky to still have both of my parents, as many of my friends have had at least one parent to die.

I'm very sorry for your loss. That's a hard loss for you, especially at such a young age. Your poor brother is grieving in his own way. It's doesn't excuse his behavior, but your family has suffered a devastating blow. He needs help. Perhaps your family needs grief support, held in a group setting with your mother and siblings there. It's a terribly sad story. Losing a parent is truly one of life's greatest sorrows. I know how you feel.

I lost my dad when i was 17 he died really suddendly of a heart attack,i miss him like crazy it has been almost 9 years now and it still feels like yesterday.My life has not been the same since neither has my mothers or my brother and sisters,my brother Andrew drank alot after my father died and it has got even worst since,you see he still lives with my mother and hasnt been able to move on since.He drinks everyday and starts arguments when doing so.There is nothing we can do for him as he wont listen to anybodys points of view and help.I feel he will get worst and end up dead as he drinks 12 cans of strong beer a day.Can anybody please give me advice.
I lost my mother when I was 6.

I can truly understand your loss and the ache that you feel in your heart.
It is understandable to see why your brother has turned to alcohol. It is a source of comfort, denial and a way to numb his feelings. Unfortunately, unless you do an intervention, there is nothing you can do. All the begging, pleading, crying, yelling, etc. won't do a damn thing. When you talk to an addict, you are not talking to the person you know and love. You are talking to a total different person. You might as well be talking to the wall. If he doesn't seek help, you can't force him to get help. But YOU and your family can try AA meetings or Al-Anon. They are a good source of talking with others who are going through what you are going through.

I would recommend perhaps some professional help for your brother? I'm really sorry about what's been happening.

I know a guy called Gary (who his friends call Paddy because of his surname being Ireland) whose mother died last November. He was still 18 at the time (he turned 19 in January) and his brothers were 21 and 14. I saw him in December, and he was still very upset and angry about it.

I saw a friend of mine, Edward, in April, and I asked him how Paddy was doing. Edward said he seemed to be trying to get on with his life, so I suppose he's handling it quite well now.

Thank you all for your comments! I guess he needs to go AA meeting or someone other than family to talk to.;)

I'm sorry for your loss :(

I lost my mom to hepatitis when I was 4

I lost my dad to cancer (when I was 16)..it happened very suddenly when we found out it was already in stage 3 malignant he was taken within a month and a half. It's been 7 years now the pain still of losing him still hasn't gone away.

I lost my dad to cancer (when I was 16)..it happened very suddenly when we found out it was already in stage 3 malignant he was taken within a month and a half. It's been 7 years now the pain still of losing him still hasn't gone away.
Oh my sweetie, I am sorry. I know how you feel. My father was diagnosed with liver cancer and we were told he had two years. Then, a few days later we were told it was too far advanced. He only had at least two months left. Unfortunately, he only lived less than 3 weeks. It will be 3 years since he passed. I miss him so bad, though I know he is with my mom, my brother and all the other family members who have passed. I am just glad for the short time we had with him so we could say our goodbyes, our last words and to tend to matters that needed to be tended to while he was alive. At least we had that. Too many people lose a loved one without any warning and don't ever get that chance.

lost my mom to cancer when i was 13.

I lost my father at 19 - he died of a massive heart attack after just turning 54. He smoked 2 1/2 packs of cigarettes a day and drank a 26 ouncer a night for years.
I know just how you feel - it's been 27 years the end of this month (June 28) and I miss him now more than ever. I hate that I'm forgetting the sound of his voice (we have no videos of him).
Our family came together after his death for a while, but fractured after my mother's death 11 years ago.

I agree that you need an intervention for your brother asap. He probably has never properly allowed himself to grieve, and he's been using the bottle to do it. That won't get him anywhere and will only cause a LOT more problems and even his own death.
Please see if you can't get him some help. Not just AA, but I would want to get him into a therapist who he can talk to. It can't bring his dad back, but it's amazing how through talking to the right person, he can face his problems, identify them and work on them rather than trying to drown them.

Good luck.

I know how all of you must feel right now and i send all my love to all of you ... I lost my mother her death was due to natural causes and i was the one that found her body that night in the bed i'll never forget that night NEVER. In the past few years i lost alot more from 2004 -2007 In 2005 i lost my very best friend he killed himself. I lost my father to cancer when he found out he only had weeks to live brfore he pass away he told me to look out for my brother and i told him i would but in 2006 my brother pass away. At this time i just wanted to die.... all my family was gone now but i didnt give up so after my brother pass away last year. I needed a change in mylife so i moved to a new city to start a new life. Well when i was all moved in to my new house on March 7, 2007 my cat Hunter that i had for 12 years pass away on the same day that my brother pass away on last year. This lost hurt me big time i'm still feeling it today but i don't give up and i just keep going on for my family. I feel a part of all them in me always and they now live in me. I miss them so much somedays are good and bad. Right now in my life i just take it day by day trying to find My place in this world. I do a lot of volunteer work doing work for big brother, the homeless and help out at the soup kitchen. This helps me out alot i'm a very independent person and i love life.

Gee im sorry for all your loss's too.Its a small world you think that your the only one x

I lost my father at 19 - he died of a massive heart attack after just turning 54. He smoked 2 1/2 packs of cigarettes a day and drank a 26 ouncer a night for years.
I know just how you feel - it's been 27 years the end of this month (June 28) and I miss him now more than ever. I hate that I'm forgetting the sound of his voice (we have no videos of him).
Our family came together after his death for a while, but fractured after my mother's death 11 years ago.

I agree that you need an intervention for your brother asap. He probably has never properly allowed himself to grieve, and he's been using the bottle to do it. That won't get him anywhere and will only cause a LOT more problems and even his own death.
Please see if you can't get him some help. Not just AA, but I would want to get him into a therapist who he can talk to. It can't bring his dad back, but it's amazing how through talking to the right person, he can face his problems, identify them and work on them rather than trying to drown them.

Good luck.
Im missing the sound of his voice to we have a few videos but very hard to watch i just weep!!My brother is getting worst and takes no advice what so ever,hes very abussive.I miss my brother to.

I know how all of you must feel right now and i send all my love to all of you ... I lost my mother her death was due to natural causes and i was the one that found her body that night in the bed i'll never forget that night NEVER. In the past few years i lost alot more from 2004 -2007 In 2005 i lost my very best friend he killed himself. I lost my father to cancer when he found out he only had weeks to live brfore he pass away he told me to look out for my brother and i told him i would but in 2006 my brother pass away. At this time i just wanted to die.... all my family was gone now but i didnt give up so after my brother pass away last year. I needed a change in mylife so i moved to a new city to start a new life. Well when i was all moved in to my new house on March 7, 2007 my cat Hunter that i had for 12 years pass away on the same day that my brother pass away on last year. This lost hurt me big time i'm still feeling it today but i don't give up and i just keep going on for my family. I feel a part of all them in me always and they now live in me. I miss them so much somedays are good and bad. Right now in my life i just take it day by day trying to find My place in this world. I do a lot of volunteer work doing work for big brother, the homeless and help out at the soup kitchen. This helps me out alot i'm a very independent person and i love life.


This is unbelievable Chad. I don't know how you got through all of that. Incredible bad timing. And you're so young to deal with all that too. Man I have to hand it to you. It sounds though like what you're doing is exactly the right way to handle it. We could so easily withdraw and go into ourselves when having to deal with that. By going the opposite way and getting involved and volunteering, that's when you can really fulfill some of the emptiness.

My hat is tipped to you Sir. :wave:

Im missing the sound of his voice to we have a few videos but very hard to watch i just weep!!My brother is getting worst and takes no advice what so ever,hes very abussive.I miss my brother to.

Yeah, it's when the voice or smell fades. I don't have any clothes of my father's, but I've kept a few things from my mother. When I get really down and missing her I'll go upstairs for a "sniff". Sounds weird, but it helps. Hey - 11 years later and there are times things will hit me and I just dissolve into tears. It's o.k. to do that though. We need to. It's when you hold it in that you can really mess up. Unfortunately that's how he's dealing with this - and masking with alcohol. Big trouble.

Maybe that is the ideal way to approach him in an intervention. Tell him it's been your loss too, and that to you, not only have you lost a father, but the way he's been, you've lost a brother also.