View Full Version : Grieving Your Pet


Janice
05-21-2007, 11:47 PM
I lost my beloved cat, Foxy, a year and a half ago today. He was a white and silver Persian. He looked exactly like the cat in the Fancy Feast commercials.

He was almost 17 when he died. When he was alive, I always figured that I would take his loss hard. What surprised me was just how hard I've taken his death. I dream of him. I can cry on cue, just thinking of him. I miss him everyday. I used to be ashamed to admit that I grieve him as much as my family members, but I'm not ashamed anymore. He was a part of my family, and I loved him.

My intention of this thread is to discuss your feelings when you lost your pet. Did the intensity of your loss surprise you? I never expected it to be this painful. Never in a million years.

What has been your experience in dealing with the loss of your beloved pet?

Ireneparalegal
05-21-2007, 11:55 PM
I remember when you posted abt the loss of your cat. I can't believe a year and a half has passed that fast. My heart goes out to you. I know it was very hard for you to have to deal with.

I lost our beloved female Tuxedo cat Taz. She was gray with a white stripe down her chest. We only had her for two and a half years when she was hit by a car. The suffering she was enduring and hearing her cry as we drove her to the emergency pet hospital (20 minutes away) tore me apart. I never heard her cry. She had two litters of kittens in her young life.

When we were told at the hospital we had two choices:

Put her to sleep or

She could have surgery but there was no guarantee her life would be the same. She would most likely be paralyzed.

I couldn't bear her being that way. She was lively and carefree. As she was being put to sleep, she looked at me and my girls and I cried. I told her over and over I was sorry that she got hurt and I was sorry to put her to sleep. I cried endlessly that night. I cried for a whole week. I never realized the love of a pet could be so intense. It was the intensity of the love and the joy she brought to us. She was the perfect cat. Never caused problems.

I TRULY MISS HER. :( She died in December of 2002.

Family Ties Forever!
05-22-2007, 12:20 AM
I lost my beloved cat, Foxy, a year and a half ago today. He was a white and silver Persian. He looked exactly like the cat in the Fancy Feast commercials.

He was almost 17 when he died. When he was alive, I always figured that I would take his loss hard. What surprised me was just how hard I've taken his death. I dream of him. I can cry on cue, just thinking of him. I miss him everyday. I used to be ashamed to admit that I grieve him as much as my family members, but I'm not ashamed anymore. He was a part of my family, and I loved him.

My intention of this thread is to discuss your feelings when you lost your pet. Did the intensity of your loss surprise you? I never expected it to be this painful. Never in a million years.

What has been your experience in dealing with the loss of your beloved pet?

I'm sorry you lost your cat Janice. It's hard to lose a pet.

Mr. Television
05-22-2007, 12:33 AM
It will be 2 years this September that I lost my dog Coco and I still miss her even today. She used to sleep by my feet while I was on SO at night. I used to laugh when I would hear her snore. She was a great dog. She was mostly black with some white underneath. I had her for 11 years. She had been in failing health for some time and the vet had told me that he didn't hold out much hope. He had given me some medicine for her and during the summer of 2005 she actually looked like she was getting better but then all of a sudden she had a relapse and she was gone. :(

It's never easy losing a pet. My favorite dog of all of the pets I had was Lady Bell and she died almost 29 years ago. I still miss her. Since I was an only child until I was 12 it was just me and her all the time.

Their is nothing wrong with feeling sad about losing a pet. They are more then just animals. They are part of your family. They bring you so much joy when they are around you and they bring you heartache when they get sick. :(

AllIWantIsYourClutch
05-22-2007, 12:46 AM
The summer of 2003, my dog Bonnie was getting really sick and was diagnosed with diabetes. It was the saddest thing to watch...She was constantly drinking water and it was hard for her to go up and down the stairs. The vet, who happens to be one of my close friend's dad, gave us a bunch of insulin to give her, but she needed it several times a day and there was no one home during the day to give it to her, so we decided that we'd have to give her to someone who could take care of her. My mom found someone, but I was leaving for a week in West Virginia with my church the next day and they agreed not to take her to the lady's house until I got back.

So I got back a week later and she had died while I was gone. And my mom never told me when I talked to her on the phone during the week, which I can't decide if I'm upset about that or not. I don't think I could've handled being halfway across the country knowing my dog had died. Apparently she was just laying on the floor, not moving, so my parents took her to the vet. He let her board for a day or two and gave her medication, but she died in her sleep. And god bless this guy because he gave us so much medication and went out of his way to take care of her and he only ended up charging my parents like $125. My mom still thanks him for that whenever she sees him.

I think it was easier for me to handle her death than it was for my parents and my grandma because I didn't have to see her when she was at her worst. I think if I was here to see her practically not moving on the last few days she was alive, it would've been a lot harder on me.

bandito
05-22-2007, 07:08 AM
My Wife and I just lost our dog, he was 15yrs old. He was a big dog his hips were giving out, and he stopped eating. We took him to the Vet said he probably had a mass or tumor or something going on inside him. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do putting him down I never thought i would cry over an animal, but I balled like a little baby. You're right Janice, they are part of the family. Since then, we have a new German Shepard puppy, that has been keeping us really busy!

TripperFan
05-22-2007, 11:49 AM
I fully understand Janice (and owe you a few emails on the subject myself).

I still mourn my cat, Smokey who I had to put down 12 years ago in Sept. I mourn them all. And as bad as this might sound, sometimes more than human family members who've passed away. (Afterall, you never fight with your pet do you).

A friend of mine had to put her rotti down the week before last. She gave him 3 rounds of chemo and bought him 8 months. He was only 5 1/2 yrs old. I visited her last week after she got her new puppy (another friend of hers fostered it while Khan was battling the cancer). We both agreed that the pup will never replace Khan, nor should she, but that with owners like us, who's whole world is their animals, we should carry on the legacy of being great pet owners. We visited his grave (vets will make house calls to put down a beloved pet which hers did). He's buried under a beautiful pine tree on her 27 acres next to her dobermin.

It broke me up when I opened the weekend paper and there was a picture of Khan with a lovely memorial under it from her family. I'd never laugh or critize anyone for mourning the loss of a pet no matter how small. They touch our lives in such a totally pure way that how can we not? :(

TripperFan
05-22-2007, 11:54 AM
I remember when you posted abt the loss of your cat. I can't believe a year and a half has passed that fast. My heart goes out to you. I know it was very hard for you to have to deal with.

I lost our beloved female Tuxedo cat Taz. She was gray with a white stripe down her chest. We only had her for two and a half years when she was hit by a car. The suffering she was enduring and hearing her cry as we drove her to the emergency pet hospital (20 minutes away) tore me apart. I never heard her cry. She had two litters of kittens in her young life.

When we were told at the hospital we had two choices:

Put her to sleep or

She could have surgery but there was no guarantee her life would be the same. She would most likely be paralyzed.

I couldn't bear her being that way. She was lively and carefree. As she was being put to sleep, she looked at me and my girls and I cried. I told her over and over I was sorry that she got hurt and I was sorry to put her to sleep. I cried endlessly that night. I cried for a whole week. I never realized the love of a pet could be so intense. It was the intensity of the love and the joy she brought to us. She was the perfect cat. Never caused problems.

I TRULY MISS HER. :(

Irene, I'm so glad you and your girls where there when you put Taz down. As difficult as it is on us, I think its so important that we're there for them right to the end. I know when I had Smokes put down, he gave me a look as if to say "Its ok - I'm ready and want to go - I'll be waiting for you when it's your turn". I wanted to be the last thing he felt, heard, smelled and saw as he left this world and that's exactly what happened. At least it's peaceful and painless for them.

There will always be a special place in our hearts for all the ones who've passed before us. The pain never entirely goes away, just hopefully the happy memories will overshadow that pain.

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤
05-22-2007, 11:55 AM
Molly dying was the worst thing I have ever had to deal with. She was always sick, since we've had her, but I always had this hope that we'd find a cure and shed live a long life. The nite before she was going to be put down I have never cried so hard in my life. Not an hour went by where I wouldnt cry to the point of being sick and it was aweful. I left for my friends house the day she was supposed to be put down, so I was upset about that. When I got home 2 days later I found she was still alive, better. A week later though she had fallen and relapsed and that morning she died in my room :crying:. It was the worst nite, hearing her wheezing and gasping all nite and I couldnt even do anything about it. I feel so guilty that I didnt even attempt, but I couldnt handle it, it was way too much to take. After that I cried everyday for about a month and for about 6 months I cried at random times thinking about it. Its gotten better, but I still miss her, she was only 4 :(

AKA
05-22-2007, 12:05 PM
Last year, I had to put my dog, Max, down. It was a tough decision, made all the more painful by the fact that, for most of his nearly twelve years, he was as spry as a puppy. He didn't start to show the fact that he was hurting until about a month before we put him down. His illness snuck up and bit us all when we were least expecting it.

It was really hard to lose him. Max was loyal, my buddy, and a part of the family. He was always there to comfort me, whether I deserved it or not. And for some reason, I was his favorite person.

I remember his tail wagging so hard that it could generate electricity every time I'd come home from work, or when I'd wake up in the morning. When I moved away from home, I'd sometimes go weeks without visiting my parents. But Max never forgot me. Every time I'd walk through that door, he'd jump on me as soon as I sat down, wagging his tail and licking my face.

He was a great dog, and we were lucky to have had him for eleven years.

It's been 14 months, and I still miss him. I think about him everyday.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v294/akawalrus/max2.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v294/akawalrus/max.jpg

TripperFan
05-22-2007, 12:17 PM
awwww - what a cute "Yoda" lookin' guy.

Ireneparalegal
05-22-2007, 01:26 PM
Irene, I'm so glad you and your girls where there when you put Taz down. As difficult as it is on us, I think its so important that we're there for them right to the end. I know when I had Smokes put down, he gave me a look as if to say "Its ok - I'm ready and want to go - I'll be waiting for you when it's your turn". I wanted to be the last thing he felt, heard, smelled and saw as he left this world and that's exactly what happened. At least it's peaceful and painless for them.

There will always be a special place in our hearts for all the ones who've passed before us. The pain never entirely goes away, just hopefully the happy memories will overshadow that pain.
Just like people, I feel it is important to be there (if possible) til the end. Life gives us good times and bad times, and dealing with life means having to deal with stuff we hoped we didn't have to endure or face. You are right, the way Taz looked at us it was as if "Don't worry, don't cry." It has been 4 years since her death but when I see a cat that looks like Taz, my heart aches and I wish I could get another cat just like her.

MonarC
05-22-2007, 01:40 PM
I lost my cat puzzle almost 10 years ago. I had him for 11 years. It was so hard dealing with that loss. My heart goes out to you.

AB
05-22-2007, 02:08 PM
I lost my long-haired cat Bubha a few years ago. I got her when she was just a tiny kitten and she lived for 17 years. They told me she was a boy when I got her so thats how she ended up with a boys name. Everytime I would sit down, she would jump in my lap to get her head scratched. I miss her so much. We got another cat a year or so ago and he has a totally different personality. I've grown to love him, but he sure doesn't take Bubha's place in my heart. I think its really hard on you when you lose a pet, its kind of like losing a member of the family.

TripperFan
05-22-2007, 03:55 PM
Just like people, I feel it is important to be there (if possible) til the end. Life gives us good times and bad times, and dealing with life means having to deal with stuff we hoped we didn't have to endure or face. You are right, the way Taz looked at us it was as if "Don't worry, don't cry." It has been 4 years since her death but when I see a cat that looks like Taz, my heart aches and I wish I could get another cat just like her.

I have a "Tuxy" myself - named Gizmo. He's a rescue. I'm sure he's AC/DC. He's the only cat I've ever seen to actually "sashay". He walks on the balls of his feet and his tail is very "swishy". It's adorable. He did finally prove his "manhood" though when my Himmy went into heat. Still, he prefers my brown tabby male though. I swear those two are velcroed together. They love to cuddle up together and will even sit on each other. :crazy:

(sorry - little off topic, but guess we could use a lighter moment)

Nighthawk76
05-22-2007, 09:18 PM
It will be a month this Saturday since my dog passed away and I still miss him terribly. :(

Georgia's on my Mind
05-22-2007, 09:25 PM
i know it sounds harsh and cruel but i dont greive over any animal/person...
i have a weird sense of greiving....i dont do it...
its not intentional
i think my body just doesnt want to deal with the tremendous pain

Janice
05-22-2007, 11:43 PM
i know it sounds harsh and cruel but i dont greive over any animal/person...
i have a weird sense of greiving....i dont do it...
its not intentional
i think my body just doesnt want to deal with the tremendous pain
I think that's probably what it is, a coping mechanism of sorts. Try to keep in mind that it's never a good idea to suppress your feelings. They have their way of coming to the surface anyway, one way or the other.

Janice
05-22-2007, 11:55 PM
I admire anyone who has the courage to put their own feelings aside to be there in their pet's final moments, when they're being put down. However, I couldn't do it. I simply could not. They would have had to escort me off the premises. One of my best friends took Foxy to the vet for us. My husband isn't in the best of health, and I had too many other recent losses in my family to be able to handle such a traumatizing ordeal. I used to feel real guilty about that, as if I had let him down, but...Foxy knew and loved me, and he'd be the first to give me a pass. I know he would understand.

The stories posted here are so sad, and so full of love. I tore up reading them. In a sense, it's reassuring to me to know that I'm not alone. Others have faced this and have the same feelings about losing a pet. We got two more cats since Foxy's passing...one the very next day. They are a joy, and I love their little hearts, but it's true that you can't replace an animal, just like with people. I also don't think I'll ever love another animal in the same way that I loved Foxy. That's a once-in-a-lifetime love.

I Love John Ritter
05-23-2007, 12:20 AM
I've never had a pet before until I got my cat about two and a half years ago. She is the cutest thing but unfortunately she is kind of mean, and she doesn't like me. Even though she doesn't like me, I've really grown to love her and I can't imagine what it's going to feel like when she is gone one day.