All from "The Worry Wart."

#1:

Ed: "The worst thing they can possibly do to you send you to the Federal pen."

Ralph (coming out of the bedroom, yells): "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SAY STUFF LIKE THAT FOR?"

#2:

Ed (reading the Income Tax book): "Did you get any income from rents,
mortgages, annuities or chattels?"

Ralph: "Chattels? What's a chattel?"

Ed: "I guess it means did you make any money selling livestock."

#3:

Ralph: "Penalty For Failure To Report Income" (reading the book): "'All persons are required under this title to pay an estimated tax or tax or are required by this title or by regulations made under authority thereof, to make a return, other than a return required under the authority of section 6015 or section 6016, keep any records or supply any other information and anyone who willfully fails to pay such estimated tax or tax, make such a return or keep such records or supply such information.'"

Ed: "Boy, Ralph it sounds like you are in trouble."

Ralph: "In trouble?! I don't even know what I am talking about."

All from "Income Tax":

#1:

(Ralph reads some Income Tax info.)

Alice: "An idiot can figure that out."

Ralph: "Don't worry. I'll get it."

#2:

Ed: "I just got a new gift for Trixie. You know a gift that proves that I still love her."

Ralph: "What did you get her?"

Ed: "A new broom."

#3:

Alice: "Do you know that the milkman says that the price of milk is
going down?"

Ralph: "That's what both of you say, but anyone check with the cow?"

All from "Flushing Ho":

#1:

Ralph: "I have to eat to drive a bus. That is my business. Driving a
bus."

Alice: "If you eat any more, than you won't be able to get in a bus."

#2:

(Ralph & Ed try to help each other with their taxes.)

Ralph: "I took depreciation off the furniture."

Ed: "Every 30 cents helps."

#3

Ralph (reading): "'Take 4% of the amount on line 4, column B above or tax shown on line 6 7C or 8 page 3, less the amount if any on line 9 page 3, or if tax table is used, then tax an item 7 on page 1 or %2 of taxable income line 5 page 3, if alternative taxes are plickable (sp?) line 20 scheduledy or twice line 20, in case of a joint return.' Go ahead and help me with that."

Alice: "You got any idea of the answer?"

Ralph: "I don't even know what the question is."

Credit goes to Yahoo! Groups You're A Riot!

:lol: