"A Dog's Life":

Ed: "How about we call the food: 'Kramden's Delicious Marshall'?"

Ralph: "Marshall?"

Ed: "Well, we don't know what this food is. We might as well call it Marshall."

"A Dog's Life":

(Ralph brings some food to Mr. Marshall in his lunch box.)

Ralph: "I got in here (lunchbox) a million dollars."

Ed: "Then you must have had a good day on the bus."

"Young Man With A Horn":

Alice: "All right Ralph. You haven't touched the cornette in years."

Ralph: "I want to keep it."

Ed: "He has a point Alice. He hasn't seen his toes in years and he wants to keep them."

"Two Tickets To The Fight":

Ralph: "At least my relatives don't drop by unexpected."

Alice: "No, they come as steady as clockwork. Three times a week."

"Two Tickets To The Fight":

Ralph (yells): "I'M NOT MISSING THE BEST FIGHT OF THE YEAR."

Alice (yells): "LISTEN HERE. YOU TRY AND WALK OUT THAT DOOR AND YOU
WILL BE IN THE BEST FIGHT OF THE YEAR."

"Finders Keepers":

Ralph: "I will get the $300 Alice. I will get the $300 if I have to sell everything in this house."

Alice: "Fine. But what are you going to do about the other $280?"

"The Honeymoon Is Over":

(Alice is dresssed up as a young lady.)

Alice: "Who is going to look at me Ralph. I'm an old woman."

Ralph: "Who would look at an old woman? An old man."

"Curse of The Kramdens":

Ralph: "I didn't know that Jackie Gleason was irish."

Ed: "Yeah. His family came during the potato famine. In fact, they may have caused it."

"Ralph Kramden Presents":

Ralph: "Do you have anyone to call to them that you are not coming back?"

Ed: "Who do I have to call? All I have to do is write a note and drop it in the nearest manhole."