(The NJ Devils beat the TB Lightning 5-3. The NY Rangers beat the Atlanta Thrashers 4-3 and the Buffalo Sabres beat the NY Islanders 4-1.)

(Ralph & Ed go on the subway after watching all three games at a bar.)

Ralph: "Boy, what a night. Our Islanders may have lost but our Devils and Rangers won."

Ed: "Yeah and I am glad that at least one team won tonight. I hated the fact that Buffalo won."

Ralph: "Yeah, me too. I wish that we will see either two of our teams face each other in the playoffs. That would be fun."

Ed: "Me too. I would love that too Ralph. Hey, if one of our teams wins the playoffs and we see it at a bar, why don't we take the subway home? I want to be in familiar territory when my home team wins if you know what I mean. Ha ha ha."

Ralph: "Yes, Norton, I do. I wonder if any person is going to pull a Don Imus and make a racist remark about any person who helps their team win in these playoffs."

Ed: "I hope not. I hated Don Imus from the start."

Ralph: "Me too. That BUM! Well, back to hockey. This Saturday night, there will be at least one playoff game. We have to see it."

Ed: "I can't Ralph. Trixie wants me to go with her to see a concert tonight."

Ralph: "Well, you are not going to go are you? Besides tonight, we only get to go out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday & Saturday."

Ed: "I can't Ralph. The last time I did that, Trixie hit me."

Ralph: "Tell her that you are the King of your Castle."

Ed: "I can't. She will CROWN me."

(The subway stops.)

Ralph (yells): "ALL RIGHT NORTON! OUT! GET OUT!"

Ed (yells): "THIS IS NOT OUR STOP!"

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GO THE REST OF THE WAY BY SEWER."

(Ed leaves.)

(The end.)

(Jackie Gleason comes on stage.)

Jackie: "Folks, I know that the Devils beat the Tampa Bay Lightening tonight and I know that some of you are unhappy about it, but I will say that the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! Good night."

(Crowd cheers.)

(The TB Lightning beat the NJ Devils 3-2. The NY Rangers beat the Atalnta Thrashers 2-1. The NY isalnders beat the Buffalo Sabres 3-2.)

(Ralph comes home happy.)

Alice: "Well, Ralph looks like you had a fun night out with Ed."

(Ed comes in.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say Alice?"

Ralph: "Alice, two teams from the NY Metro area have won tonight. Only the NJ Devils lost. The Rangers are now two games ahead of the Thrashers. We are guaranteed that one team will make the Stanley Cup."

Alice: "Well, how could you be so sure? There are other teams around in the NHL."

Ralph: "Alice, this is the first time in a long time that all three teams have made the playoffs. With three teams, we are bound to have one team go on to the Stanley Cup."

Ed: "I think that she's right Ralph. There are some prety tough teams."

Ralph: "Oooh, they are all cream puffs."

Ed: "Then, how come one of the cream puffs won tonight?"

Ralph: "It was a fluke. It will never happen again."

Ed: "That is what you said last year when the Devils and the Rangers lost."

Ralph: "Norton, are you asking for a fat lip? I am still recovering from that blow."

Ed: "Judging by the shape you are in, it is no surprise that you are still recovering."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

Ralph: "Now that he is gone, I am planning on going out on Monday night and watching some hockey."

Alice: "Ralph, you can't. We are going to my mother's."

Ralph: "Again? Must we always go to your mother's? Can't she come here. So waht if she is in another section of New York. It is not like she is in New Zealand. I am NOT GOING!"

Alice: "Ralph, you forgot again. She has cable."

Ralph (yells): "I DON'T CARE! I AM NOT GOING!"

Alice (yells): "YOU ARE!"

Ralph (yells): "I AM NOT!"

Alice (yells): "YOU ARE!"

Ralph (yells): "I AM NOT!"

Alice (yells): "YOU ARE NOT GOING!"

Ralph (yells): "I AM! I MEAN I AM NOT!"

(They continue arguing.)

(Jackie comes on stage.)

Jackie: "As usual, the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(The Buffalo Sabres beat the NY Islanders 3-2 & The TB Lightning beat the NJ Devils 3-2.)

(Ralph is watching the games at the pool room. He is upset.)

Ed: "Ralph, don't tell me that both teams lost tonight."

Ralph: "They did Norton. Both by a score of 3-2. I am telling you right now that the Islanders and the Devils need to wake up and tie their respective series."

Ed: "Boy, yeah. I would hate to see even one of those teams lose."

Ralph: "Yeah, because if all three local hockey teams advance, two of them are going to play each other in the next round. Those teams would have to be the Rangers and the Islanders. If the Devils win both the first and second rounds, they would play the winner of that series and we would have another cross-town series and because of that, one of them is guaranteed to go to the playoffs."

Ed: "Not only do we have three teams in the playoffs, you got me all messed up."

Ralph: "I should have known that I should not explain these type of things to people that have a five-year-old mentality."

Ed: "Hey Ralph, considerating that both the Islanders and the Sabres play in the same state, wouldn't that be a like a subway series?"

Ralph: "Of course not Norton. Buffalo is in West New York."

Ed: "You mean the town West New York, New Jersey?"

Ralph: "No, you idiot. In western New York state. The islanders play on Long Island."

Ed: "Oh."

Ralph: "We need all three teams to advance."

(Harvey walks by.)

Harvey: "Hey Kramden! I heard you two jokers talking and I want to make a bet with you. If one of those teams lose in the first round, I get to fight you. If all three teams make it, I owe you $100."

Ed: "He will take it."

Harvey: "Good. But if one team loses, meet me in Kesley's Gym the following Friday. If you don't show up, i will come get you."

(Harvey leaves.)

Ed (yells): "A POX ON YOU AND YOUR ANCESTORS."

Ed: "Why did you have to make a bet with that guy for Ralph?"

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

Ralph: "'A pox on you and your ancestors'"

(Jackie Gleason comes out.)

Jackie: "As usual, the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The NY Rangers beat the Atlanta Thrashers 7-0.)

(Ralph, Ed & Freddie come home.)

Ralph: "Boy, what a game. Those Rangers realled THRASHED those Thrashers tonight. 7-0."

Ed: "I bet the Rangers are sitting pretty knowing that they have a 3 game to nothing lead."

Freddie: "All they have to do tomorrow is beat them again and they advance for the first time in a long time."

Ralph: "Yeah and I hope our Islanders and Devils win tomorrow too. They need those wins."

Freddie: "Yeah. I hope the Islanders win too. This is really big for New York and northern New Jersey."

Ed: "Yeah and if any one of those teams loses thier playoff rounds, Ralph is going to get beat up by Harvey."

Ralph: "Shut up Norton! If I have to fight Harvey, I will. I haven't told Alice yet though."

Ed: "She will get a clue when you stop coming home nights."

Fred: "Harvey?"

Ralph: "Oh, this guy that Norton made a bet with last night. He is real tall but I can take him in a few seconds."

Ed: "Ralph is a tough uy. He once took on three men single-handedly. They MURDERED him even though he outweighed each of them by 100 pounds."

Ralph: "Well, we should get ready for the party tonight so we can celebrate the fact that all our teams won. It will be a great night for New York and northern New Jersey."

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): 'KRAMDEN, WILL YOU SHUT UP DOWN THERE?"

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "MCGARRITY, ARE YOU STILL UPSET THAT THE CUBS AREN'T GOING TO WIN A WORLD SERIES THIS YEAR? ARE YOU STILL UPSET THAT ALL MY HOCKEY TEAMS ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS? ARE YOU?"

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "NO, I AM UPSET THAT YOU LIVE DOWNSTAIRS AND THE WHOLE BUILDING IS UPSET THAT YOU LIVE HERE AND WE ALL WANT TO GIVE YOU A GOING AWAY PARTY!"

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUP UP NORTON! MCGARRITY, YOU WILL GET YOURS."

Ralph (to Ed & Fred): "Well, like I said, tomorrow will be a great night for hockey."

(They all sing a song about hockey.)

(Jackie Gleason comes out on stage.)

Jackie: "Let's introduce the cast. First, the guy who played Fred, Mr. George Petrie."

(George walks on stage and shakes Jackie's hand.)

Jackie: "Art Carney."

(Art walks on stage and shakes Gleason's hand.)

Jackie: "GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!"

(The end.)

(The NJ Devils beat the TB Devil Rays 3-0. The Buffalo Sabres win the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals 4 games to 1 by beating the NY Islanders 4-3.)

(Ralph is in the kitchen looking nervous. Ed comes in.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say Ralphie boy? I know you are scared of fighting Harvey. But, look on the bright side. You can beat him by wearing him out by running around him."

Ralph: "Those NY Islanders. They had to lose 4-3. I am happy the Devils won by beating Tampa Bay. But, I am nervous about fighting Harvey."

Ed: "Well, I would be nervous as that Islanders coach. He might lose his job."

Ralph: "How can you think like that when I am in the predictament that I am in? Those NY Islanders let me down. They got beat by the Buffalo Sabres. Now it's up to the Rangers to beat Buffalo."

Ed: "Well, I guess I have to go home. Dinner is ready."

(Freddie Muller comes in.)

Fred: "Ralph, guess what happened to Harvey? He got into trouble with the law. He now has to go to jail for two years."

Ralph (yells): "I GOT A REPRIEVE! I AM GOING TO LIVE! I AM NOT GOING TO DIE!"

Ed: "You mean never?"

Ralph: "Fred, I go to tell you this story about why I am so happy. But, I will tell you later. Boy, now I am wishing that those NJ Devils beat Tampa this Sunday. Let's all go out and get some ice cream."

Ed: "I love that. I am always like a kid when I eat ice cream."

Ralph: "You still are."

(They leave.)

(Jackie Gleason comes on stage.)

Jackie: "As usual, the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! How sweet it is. Good night!"

(Audinece cheers.)

(The NJ Devils won the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals 4 games to 2 by beating the TB Lightning 3-2.)

(Ralph & Ed come home.)

Ralph & Ed (singing loudly off-key): "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! WE ARRRRRE THE CHAMPIONS! NO TIME FOR LOSSSSSERS BECAUSE WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS...OF THE WORLD!"

Ralph: "What a game Norton. Those Devils really beat those Lightning. Let me tell you."

Ed: "Yeah. What a surprise. I thought the Devils would lose."

Ralph: "No, they didn't pally. They are no going to have to face those BUMS, the Buffalo Sabres. That is the team that knocked out the NY Islanders."

Ed: "And almost caused you to get killed by Harvey."

Ralph: "This I think will be the Devils or the Rangers to win. I would love to see those two deck it out in the third round. That way, we are guaranteed to have one team go to the Stanley Cup."

Ed: "Why can't we have both teams vie for the Cup in the fourth round?"

Ralph: "Becaue Norton, the NHL Stanley Cup tournamnet is divised so that the last two teams consists of a team that is from the west and one is from the east."

Ed: "Well, the Devils play on the East side and the Rangers play on the west side, don't they?"

Ralph: "Norton, you are a mental case. I think you should go to Bellevue."

Ed: "I hope those Buffalo Sabres get what's coming to them. They deserve to lose after they knocked out the Islanders. We could have had a NY Isalnders vs NJ Devils series in the second round."

Ralph: "Yeah, we could've, but we didn't. Now, we have to watch that game later this week. I think it's on Vs."

Ed: "Vs who?"

Ralph: "Vs the cable network."

Ed: "Who's going to take on the cable network and what is the cable network?"

Ralph: "You dope. Vs is the name of the cable channel. It used to go by some other name that I can't think of."

Ed: "What a funny name."

Ralph: "You can say that again."

Ed: "What a funny name."

Ralph: "Oh will you stop it? Just make sure you are ready to watch the game with me."

(They both sing a song about the NJ Devils.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage.)

Jackie: "Friends, I know that Tampa Bay is in this state. We are about 4 to 5 hours away from Tampa Bay, but I am NJ Devils fan, so excuse me."

(Audience laughs.)

Jackie: "As usual, the Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!