"Oh My Aching Back":

Ralph (yelling in pain): "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA!"

(Alice comes out.)

Alice: "What was that?"

Ralph: "I was just yawning."

Alice: "Yawning? It sounded like feeding time at the zoo."

"A Matter of Record":

Ralph: "How could you be so stupid Norton? Why would you want to go? You know the ending as well as I do."

Ed: "You call me stupid? You call me stupid? It just so happens that it makes no difference to me what the ending of the play is. I will just wait until it gets real close to the end of the show and I will get up and walk out."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

G.F.: "I am going to put you in a state of hypnosis."

Ed: "Promise you won't hurt me?"

"Letter To The Boss":

Ralph: "Today, I'm fired. Tomorrow, I'm forgotten. They probably wouldn't remember what I looked like."

Ed: "That's okay. You go down there tomorrow and apply for another job."

"Letter To The Boss":

Ralph: "We will just have to live on our expenses."

Alice: "Swell! That will take care of tonight. But, what are we going to do in the morning?"

"Finders Keepers":

Ralph: "We will sell hamburgers, hot dogs, flapjacks, pizza pies..."

Ed: "And we will widen the front door."

Ralph: "Why would we do that?"

Ed: "With all that food, how are you going to get in and out?"

"A Dog's Life":

Ralph: "Gee, I remember when I used to weigh 165. Did you see me when
I weighed 165?"

Ed: "No Ralph. I never did see your baby pictures."

"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

Ed: "I got a solution on how we should remove the dresser. The drawers are probably filled with junk."

Ralph: "That's not a bad idea."

(Ed takes the drawers and puts them on top of the dresser.)

Ralph: "Okay, let's go."

"Hair To A Fortune":

Ed: "Here is another bottle. 'Oliveoil.'"

Ralph: "'Oliveoil?'" (yells): "THAT IS OLIVE OIL."

"Hair To A Fortune":

Ed: "Here's on bottle. H2O."

Ralph: "H2O. Oh, that is pronounced ho."