"$99,000 Answer":

Herb Norris: "What do you do for a living?"

Ralph: "I brive a dus."

Herb: "You brive a dus?"

Ralph: "A dus I brive."

"$99,000 Answer":

Herb: "What is your wife's name?"

Ralph: "Mrs. Kramden."

"On Stage":

Ralph: "Are you sure you can type faster than me?"

Ed: "With boxing gloves on."

"This Is Your Life Part 1":

Ralph: "14 years, I fractured myself just to take care of her. Now, I just saw Alice coming out of an Italian restuarant with another guy. That's loyalty for you."

Ed: "The least she could have done was take a bus."

"Hot Dog Stand":

Ralph: "If you don't give me the money, I am going to walk out the door. Are you going to give me the money?"

Alice: "No."

Ralph: "This is the last chance Alice. Are you going to give mt the money?"

Alice: "No."

Ralph: "The last time. Are you going to give me the money?"

Alice: "No."

(Ralph motions that he is going to leave, but comes back.)

Ralph: "You gotta give me the money."

"Stand-In For Murder Part 1":

Ralph: "How would you like to be the wife of a rich, brilliant, highly-respected business man?"

Ed: "I think she would rather stay with you Ralph."

"The Honeymoon Is Over":

(The makeup lady put lipstick on Ralph's lips.)

Makeup Lady: "Go like this."

(She makes kissing noises with her lips. So does Ralph.)

Ed: "Don't just sit there Ralph. Kiss me."

"The Honeymoon Is Over":

(Ralph is in the makeup chair. He has his eyes closed while the lady is putting eye shadow on.)

Ralph: "What is she doing Norton?"

Ed (stifiling laughter): "Nothing."

Ralph: "Then why are you laughing?"

Makeup Lady: "I am just putting blue eye shadow on."

Ralph: "Oh, that's good." (yells): "WAIT A MINUTE."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

Ralph: "Do you know what a fool I am Norton going out in the middle of the night while I have a beautiful wife at home?"

Ed: "At least I got a good excuse."