"Two Men On A Horse Part 1":

Alice: "I'll go get a flashlight for you."

Ralph: "I don't need one."

(Ralph leaves and falls down the stairs. Alice comes by the door. He
comes back.)

Ralph: "Well, don't just stand there. Get me a flashlight."

"Letter To The Boss":

(Ralph thinks that he has been fired. He lists all the jobs that are
listed in the paper.)

Alice: "What is wrong with those jobs?"

Ralph: "Nothing except they are listed under: 'Help Wanted: Women!'"

"Cottage For Sale Part 2":

Trixie: "My Ed has got more brains in his little finger than Ralph has got in his whole head."

Ralph: "He's still an idiot."

"Funny Money":

Ralph: "Junk? Junk Junk? Just watch yourself Alice. This furniture was a wedding present from my grandfather."

Alice: "Yeah, to your grandmother."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

(Ralph and Ed arrive in the Kramdens apartment. Ralph thinks that Alice is asleep in the bedroom.)

Ralph (whispering): "Shhh! Alice is asleep."

Ed: "What's that Ralph?"

Ralph (whispering): "I said that Alice is asleep."

Ed: "I can't hear you."

Alice (from bedroom): "He said: 'Shhh! Alice is asleep.'"

"The Babysitter":

Ralph: "That phone is for you-you-you."

(Phone rings. Alice answers it.)

Alice: "Hello?..." (poking Ralph with the receiver): "It's for you-you-you."

"Kramden's Curse":

Man: "Carry Mr. Kramden to the train station."

(The men try to pick up Ralph but to no avail.)

Ed: "I think it would be easier if you went to the train station, picked it up, and carried it back here."

"On Stage":

Ralph: "As a matter of fact, Mr. Faversham said I have something that
is on satge and goes out into the audience."

Alice (patting his stomach): "You certainly have."

"Sees All, Knows All":

Ralph: "Norton, I am not going to die."

Ed: "You mean never?"