"Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"):

Ralph: "You are the only man that can turn my stomach upside-down."

Ed: "There isn't a man in this city that is strong enough to do that."

"Young Man With A Horn":

Alice: "This morning, Ralph insisted on making the beds."

Trixie: "That is wonderful."

Alice: "What is wonderful is that he got me up at 5am so he can make them."

"Young At Heart":

Alice: "How can you be so icky?"

Ralph: "Icky?"

Alice: "You are a termite Ralph. Strickly out of the wood."

"Peacemaker":

Alice: "Ed is gone."

Ralph: "I know he is. I knew that since the first day I met him."

"Vacation At Fred's Landing":

Ralph: "Millions of people go to Fred's Landing too."

Alice: "Millions, huh? Name one."

Ralph: "All right. Fred."

"A Weighty Problem Part 1":

Ralph: "I am four pound underweight. It says so in the chart."

Alice: "You must have been looking at a chart for a hippo."

"You're In The Picture":

Alice: "Ralph, you cut yourself this morning and you are only now starting to bleed?"

Ed: "That's explainable. With the way he is built, it takes a long time for his blood to reach the surface."

"In Twenty-Five Words Or Less":

Ralph: "We have something more valuable than all of that put together."

Alice: "What?"

Ralph: "Our love. Now shut up."

"Ralph Goes Hollywood":

Ralph: "Don't you know an assgot when you see one?"

Ed: "You certainly are."

Now on for my skit:

(Ralph & Ed are in a mall. They are dressed up as Easter bunnies. The crowd laughs.)

Ralph: "Come on Norton. Let's hurry up. We don't want to be late for our job."

Ed: "Ralph, it is hot in this costume. I am beginning to sweat all ready."

Ralph: "Well, you don't hear me complaining. Remember, look at me. I'm bigger and I am proving to be more in shape than you."

(They arrive at their post. They take pictures with kids.)

Kid: "Gee, I never knew that Bugs Bunny was so fat."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (under his breath): "Shut up Norton or you will live permantently under ground."

(A fat kid sits on Ralph's lap.)

Ralph: "Oomph! Say carrots kid."

(The photographer takes their picture.)

(McGarritty walks by.)

McGarritty: "Hey is that you Kramden? Wait until I show all of the tenants how ridiculous Ralph looks like as a bunny."

(He shoots a picture of Ralph.)

Ralph (yells): "YOU ARE NOT SHOWING THAT PHOTO TO ANYBODY. GIVE ME THAT CAMERA."

Ed: "Ralph, don't worry. All you have to dois grow a beard and mustache. That way, no one will recogonize you in the picture."

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP NORTON! GIVE ME THAT CAMERA!"

(Ralph chaes McGarrity. Ed chases after Ralph as the kids look on with dissapointment. Ralph & Ed's boss see this and fire both of them.)

(At home, Ralph & Ed arrive with their disguises on.)

Alice: "How was the first day on the job Ralph & Ed?"

Ed: "We got fired."

Alice: "Why?"

Ed: "It is because Ralph decided it was a good idea to run after McGarrity after McGArrity took a picture of hima nd threatened to show the rest of the tenants how ridiculous Ralph looked. I will have to admit Ralph you look pretty funny with that get up on."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

Ed: "Happy Easter."

(Ed leaves.)

(Ralph is showing how upset he is.)

(Jackie Gleason comes out with the Easter Bunny get-up on. The audience is cheering him.)

Jackie: "Ooh, how sweet it is. Ladies and gentlemen, I just thought I would come out and say Happy Easter to all of you as well as Miami Beach has got the greastest audiences in the world. Good night!"

(The audience cheers.)