This was on LRW last night. I think a lot of us agree that what Gail did was very selfish. To not only end her life but to go out of her way to hide it from her family so that they would never find out what happened to her. It was just luck that the ME from Alabama happened to be watching the segment and solve the case. Anyway I did notice in the update that they think Gayle flew to Alabama. Did they find any evidence of this...possibly under the name Jackie Stafford (which was the name she was registered under in the hotel where she committed suicide)? Does that mean they no longer believe the trucker who said he was with Gail for around 24 hours when he gave her a ride? I thought he was very believable, even noted that she had a lot of pill bottles in her purse and Gail died of a drug overdose.

This second thing bothers me every time I watch this segment because it just doesn't add up. The dj. First off that comment he makes about Gail just going to cease to exist...literally sitting on the couch. What does that mean? :confused: The whole story about Gail centered on the fact that she was very lonely and looking for a man. It seemed maybe she even had a thing for this dj as she called him regularly late at night. He made the comment that he couldn't even get Gail to go out and get a cup of coffee. I don't really buy that. Does that sound like someone who is looking for a man and even puts her profile in singles columns to turn down a date with someone whom she called and talked to regularly? Not a big issue in the story, just something that always bugged me. Any comments?

I haven't seen this segment in a long, long time, but if I remember correctly the update said she had checked into the hotel shortly after she went missing. I also thought the truck driver was very believable, but he has to be mistaken if Gail was already at the hotel in Alabama during the time he says he gave her a ride.

As far as Gail being reluctant to go out and meet her friend for coffee, maybe she went through phases where she was more depressed than other times. If she was taking an antidepressent, it's possible there were times that she just felt better about things and was able to/wanted to go out more. She would place a personal ad and be hopeful that maybe things would work out "this time," only to be rejected again. I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe this was an ongoing struggle for her and there were times when she was able to manage her depression. The entries they read from her diary were so bleak...like she had given up hope.

This was a sad story. I saw it last night for the first time.

I think this is just a sad case of clinical depression that has went out of control. For Gail to stage her dissapearance and then head to Alabama only to later kill herself is a bit, umm, illogical, and points to someone quite unstable. Perhaps she didn't want to disturb her family by committing suicide where someone she knew would find her, but she was quite selfish to run half-way across the country. It also appears that she tried to frame this "John" guy. This was quite bizarre. It is as if she wanted her family to believe she had been murdered. That is quite cold indeed.

I wonder now whether "John" existed at all. All of her friends and family said she was very secretive about him and this was very unusual.

My husband and I thought the part where the guy walks out of the interragation room and says "You're next" to the guy in line followed by like six other men was humorous.
This was clearly a case of deep depression. Yes, what she did was very selfish, but she was obviously in the deep depths of depression, when you don't think of anything but ending your pain.
I just watched this one last night and it troubled me. I was left more troubled when I heard the update. Very surprising. Very sad.

Just saw the case last night for the first time in a long time (thanks CD) and it happened in a town about 25 miles away from me. The trucker seemed legit and honest but if Gail did fly to Alabama and died a few days later than he just had to be mistaken.

A few little things I ran across while doing some research that you might find interesting.

Gail's father Platt died four years ago, but her mother Bette, sister Susan, and sons Tim and Ryan are still alive and well in Maine:

http://journal.maine.com/Obituaries/by_code.html?code=20050624000273A

And apparently, Platt was a boatmaker and inventor. Gail's son Ryan wrote a nice bio about his grandfather here:

http://gaboats.com/bio/

Yeah the trucker was mistaken. This was a year after her disappearance correct? Hey it happens. He's a trucker, he sees a million people all across the country. ONE of them I'm sure would look like Gail Delano along the way. He seemed genuine. He would have bet money on it being her and I guess the worst thing was that he would have lost money. :(

Yeah this story always bugged me. Gail had two sons. Two seemingly loving parents. Divorced twice yes, but like mentioned above she could have had a better life if she let it happen. Grandkids. Daughter in-laws. etc. Yes I know that is a poor substitute for a spouse but she was 34! That's young.

I don't remember this one.

Did she fly out of state to kill herself or did she fly out of state to meet a man, who may have rejected her, then she committed suicide?

What I'm trying to say is was her trip out of state planned specifically with suicide in mind?

Well there wasn't any man first off - it was a ruse on Gail's part to engineer her disappearance. Now whether she just wanted to disappear or just wanted to go off somewhere and end her life in private I really don't know.

I would say though given the amount of thought she put into her disappearance she probably never intended on coming back to her friends and family. So yeah as sad as it sounds I think Gail went to Alabama to end her life...

Hmm, while I do think what Gail did is selfish, I also think people here are underestimating how severe her depression really was. As someone who has suffered on and off with anxiety/depression issues I will say that sometimes that condition can get so out of control it can make you just completely hopeless to the point of almost being psychotic. Gail sounds like she may have had bi polar where she was either really really depressed or she was really happy and manic but always in the extreme in her emotions and never balanced. Depression if bad enough can make you that way where you literally cannot do anything but lay in bed just because you are so unmotivated to do anything.

Now granted Gail flying to a completely different area of the country to commit suicide is extreme. My guess is she planned on killing herself the whole time but did not want her family to know. So she came up with this huge rouse and without the Unsolved Mysteries segment her body probably would have never been identified. I think she just did not want her family to have to deal with the whole suicide thing and I think she wanted to be alone when she did it and not have her family have to deal with it.

However as I said, I think people are underestimating just how serious her mental/emotional illness was. I did not know her and I am not a psychiatrist but based on my own experiences and the info provided in the UM segment, I will say that depression is not something you just snap out of, especially when it is severe like in Gail's case. The treatments these days are overall significantly better than they would have been in the mid 80's when Gail killed herself. They did have medication just like now but the kinds and qualities of it were different. In the mid 80's, the only anti depressants there were, were the older Tricyclic antidepressants, in fact in 1986 when Gail disappeared and died, none of the current SSRI's were even on the market yet, Prozac came on the market in 1988. In the 80's it was quite common still to treat depression with barbituets and other tranquilizers which ironically enough fuel depression because they are depressants however you think they are working when you are on them but when the dose gets low in your body you feel worse.

I do feel bad for Gail and her extreme depression but what she did to her family and her sons is horrible! She obviously knew they would be beside themselves with worry and grief and wondering what happened to her. She had no way of knowing her lies would eventually be found out thanks to the UM broadcast and it just shows she was way more focused on herself than her children and her family. If she was intent on ending her life she didn't have to travel across country and she could have left a note trying to explain herself to her family. That would have been easier on them in the end than the worrying and wondering for years they experienced before finding her.

Another thing about the reenactment I've always been curious about. It does show Gail on the phone with someone for hours soon before she disappeared. It shows her sons at the house during that time also so I'm guessing they told UM they were witness to the phone call. The question is was Gail talking to a male friend or did she just pretend to make the call and stay on the line for hours?

However as I said, I think people are underestimating just how serious her mental/emotional illness was. I did not know her and I am not a psychiatrist but based on my own experiences and the info provided in the UM segment, I will say that depression is not something you just snap out of, especially when it is severe like in Gail's case. The treatments these days are overall significantly better than they would have been in the mid 80's when Gail killed herself. They did have medication just like now but the kinds and qualities of it were different. In the mid 80's, the only anti depressants there were, were the older Tricyclic antidepressants, in fact in 1986 when Gail disappeared and died, none of the current SSRI's were even on the market yet, Prozac came on the market in 1988. In the 80's it was quite common still to treat depression with barbituets and other tranquilizers which ironically enough fuel depression because they are depressants however you think they are working when you are on them but when the dose gets low in your body you feel worse.

I agree. Depression is an all-encompassing illness. It wasn't that she didn't love and care for her family--she was just so very, very sick. Her judgement, her decision-making process was completely warped as a direct result. I wouldn't be surprised if she honestly believed that everyone--including her sons--would be better off without her, and that life would go on just as it had, without her as a "burden." :( To normal, healthy people, yes, the act is selfish--but Gail was ill, and suicide was perfectly rational in her mind.

I've always felt very badly for Gail's family, but I feel the worst for Gail herself.


Another thing about the reenactment I've always been curious about. It does show Gail on the phone with someone for hours soon before she disappeared. It shows her sons at the house during that time also so I'm guessing they told UM they were witness to the phone call. The question is was Gail talking to a male friend or did she just pretend to make the call and stay on the line for hours?

That's a great question. If the latter possibility was the case, it's really unsettling. She had a relatively intricate plan to "disappear" as it was, but THAT would be very disturbing.


CD, I think this is the thread where you mention the DJ, Christian Roy, who was interviewed in the segment. I've never understood that relationship. Was this a man Gail just randomly called up one night while listening to the radio? He did mention something about her eventually asking if he'd like to meet her. It's always been a little vague and bizarre to me.

CD, I think this is the thread where you mention the DJ, Christian Roy, who was interviewed in the segment. I've never understood that relationship. Was this a man Gail just randomly called up one night while listening to the radio? He did mention something about her eventually asking if he'd like to meet her. It's always been a little vague and bizarre to me.

Yes I could never quite figure out their relationship. Gail was obviously looking for a man so it would make sense that if she called him regularly maybe she was interested in him but then later in the segment he mentions he couldn't even get Gail to go out and get a cup of coffee. What? He makes some contradictory comments imo.

I do feel bad for Gail and her extreme depression but what she did to her family and her sons is horrible! She obviously knew they would be beside themselves with worry and grief and wondering what happened to her. She had no way of knowing her lies would eventually be found out thanks to the UM broadcast and it just shows she was way more focused on herself than her children and her family. If she was intent on ending her life she didn't have to travel across country and she could have left a note trying to explain herself to her family. That would have been easier on them in the end than the worrying and wondering for years they experienced before finding her.

Another thing about the reenactment I've always been curious about. It does show Gail on the phone with someone for hours soon before she disappeared. It shows her sons at the house during that time also so I'm guessing they told UM they were witness to the phone call. The question is was Gail talking to a male friend or did she just pretend to make the call and stay on the line for hours?

The thing is, she might not have realized that. You think all wrong when you are severly depressed. Many people think that those people will be better off without them. She might have even thought that to just not have to deal with her anymore would be easy for them, as she probably thought she would just disappear and they would never know. Your thinking is not rational when you are in this state, at all. Anyway, I pray for comfort for her family. I don't think what she did was right at all, but when you have depression that bad it's a whole new ballgame.

I do agree with you atomicfizz. That is the point I was trying to make earlier. It seems to me, that in my opinion, Gail Delano's depression was so severe that she was really at the point where she felt her family and friends would be better off without her. I've read about these cases many times where the person that kills themselves just feels like things will never get better and that they are tired of being a burden to their family and friends. I mean no one is saying what she did was right but I will say if your depression is severe enough your thinking can at times be very irrational and erratic.

I just re-watched this segment and I echo the comments that were made by both Crystaldawn and MegTheEgg. What the heck was up with Gayle and the radio DJ?

Now I'm starting to wonder if the person Gayle was on the phone with was the DJ, who ultimately rebuffed her interest in him. This would explain some of his contradictory statements and could also give a motive for what finally pushed Gayle over the edge.

what town was she from? Every time I watch the case...I cant understand where in maine she is from cuz the segment is choppy.

what town was she from? Every time I watch the case...I cant understand where in maine she is from cuz the segment is choppy.

Wiscasset, ME. She "met her date" in nearby Brunswick, ME.

Rewatching this case and even though it's been several decades since it happened and the case is solved, I believe that the truck driver DID give her a ride. The details about her flying south were never revealed, so it wouldn't surprise me if she did fly down there under an assumed name, hitchhiked for unknown reasons, and then made her way to Mobile.

The location of the truck driver makes sense too, its not like he said he saw her in California. It was the state over from where she died.

Rewatching this case and even though it's been several decades since it happened and the case is solved, I believe that the truck driver DID give her a ride. The details about her flying south were never revealed, so it wouldn't surprise me if she did fly down there under an assumed name, hitchhiked for unknown reasons, and then made her way to Mobile.

The location of the truck driver makes sense too, its not like he said he saw her in California. It was the state over from where she died.



The truck driver was from South Carolina, but where he supposedly picked up Gail was never stated (Georgia lies between Alabama and South Carolina, by the way). In the update it was revealed that Gail checked into the hotel the same day she disappeared. She was found deceased three days later by police in the hotel room she rented. Just doesn't seem like much time or opportunity to hitchhike.

This second thing bothers me every time I watch this segment because it just doesn't add up. The dj. First off that comment he makes about Gail just going to cease to exist...literally sitting on the couch. What does that mean? :confused: The whole story about Gail centered on the fact that she was very lonely and looking for a man. It seemed maybe she even had a thing for this dj as she called him regularly late at night. He made the comment that he couldn't even get Gail to go out and get a cup of coffee. I don't really buy that. Does that sound like someone who is looking for a man and even puts her profile in singles columns to turn down a date with someone whom she called and talked to regularly? Not a big issue in the story, just something that always bugged me. Any comments?

To me, yes it fits perfectly into the character of someone like Gail. People who are chemically and emotionally disturbed often create elaborate fantasy lives inside their own mind. Remember this was in the days before internet chat so the main outlets for lonely people were personal ads, late-night talk radio and request-line DJs. I doubt this DJ had anything of a "personal" nature with Gail, any more than he did with dozens of other female callers who became infatuated with his voice filling their lonely hours.
As someone with personal experience, my guess is Gail probably suffered from agoraphobia and panic disorder (in the days before these disorders were much understood or treated). Which would have had a crippling effect on any attempted social life Gail might have sought. Seeing the pictures of Gail I was struck by how pale and frumpy she looked for 34. Obsessing over physical unattractiveness, real or imagined, is a common hindrance for these people. Again from personal experience, I know that sufferers create active fantasy lives for themselves, about romances and relationships they imagine would fulfill them.
In the 80s an anonymous, SAFE way for Gail to explore these fantasies were personal ads and phone calls with radio personalities (today chatrooms and instant messaging). She probably even answered ads and planned possible meetings, taking things to the last possible step, then succumbing to her fears once again and pulling back at the last moment (as she knew she would). Behavior that doesn't make sense to someone who hasn't lived with panic/agoraphobia, but makes perfect sense to one who has. The "fantasy" of an elusive romance which always ends in nothing is at least exciting in the moment for people as lonely as Gail.

To me, yes it fits perfectly into the character of someone like Gail. People who are chemically and emotionally disturbed often create elaborate fantasy lives inside their own mind. Remember this was in the days before internet chat so the main outlets for lonely people were personal ads, late-night talk radio and request-line DJs. I doubt this DJ had anything of a "personal" nature with Gail, any more than he did with dozens of other female callers who became infatuated with his voice filling their lonely hours.
As someone with personal experience, my guess is Gail probably suffered from agoraphobia and panic disorder (in the days before these disorders were much understood or treated). Which would have had a crippling effect on any attempted social life Gail might have sought. Seeing the pictures of Gail I was struck by how pale and frumpy she looked for 34. Obsessing over physical unattractiveness, real or imagined, is a common hindrance for these people. Again from personal experience, I know that sufferers create active fantasy lives for themselves, about romances and relationships they imagine would fulfill them.
In the 80s an anonymous, SAFE way for Gail to explore these fantasies were personal ads and phone calls with radio personalities (today chatrooms and instant messaging). She probably even answered ads and planned possible meetings, taking things to the last possible step, then succumbing to her fears once again and pulling back at the last moment (as she knew she would). Behavior that doesn't make sense to someone who hasn't lived with panic/agoraphobia, but makes perfect sense to one who has. The "fantasy" of an elusive romance which always ends in nothing is at least exciting in the moment for people as lonely as Gail.

Great post Lost Mountain! A lot to think about and some great observations. I agree that it seems as though Gail was brave and wanted to find someone in her own mind but when it came to actually getting out there and looking she was terrified which seemingly created a sort of prison for herself. Sad case.

Yes I could never quite figure out their relationship. Gail was obviously looking for a man so it would make sense that if she called him regularly maybe she was interested in him but then later in the segment he mentions he couldn't even get Gail to go out and get a cup of coffee. What? He makes some contradictory comments imo.

Yeah it's a puzzling one. He just sort of popped up out of nowhere in the segment. I'm guessing it was nothing more than a phone friendship, Gail calling in during his graveyard shift at the radio station during when music is played. I'm just assuming Gail was so lonely that she wanted to talk to someone and they became friends so to speak.

Hmm, while I do think what Gail did is selfish, I also think people here are underestimating how severe her depression really was. As someone who has suffered on and off with anxiety/depression issues I will say that sometimes that condition can get so out of control it can make you just completely hopeless to the point of almost being psychotic. Gail sounds like she may have had bi polar where she was either really really depressed or she was really happy and manic but always in the extreme in her emotions and never balanced. Depression if bad enough can make you that way where you literally cannot do anything but lay in bed just because you are so unmotivated to do anything.

Now granted Gail flying to a completely different area of the country to commit suicide is extreme. My guess is she planned on killing herself the whole time but did not want her family to know. So she came up with this huge rouse and without the Unsolved Mysteries segment her body probably would have never been identified. I think she just did not want her family to have to deal with the whole suicide thing and I think she wanted to be alone when she did it and not have her family have to deal with it.

However as I said, I think people are underestimating just how serious her mental/emotional illness was. I did not know her and I am not a psychiatrist but based on my own experiences and the info provided in the UM segment, I will say that depression is not something you just snap out of, especially when it is severe like in Gail's case. The treatments these days are overall significantly better than they would have been in the mid 80's when Gail killed herself. They did have medication just like now but the kinds and qualities of it were different. In the mid 80's, the only anti depressants there were, were the older Tricyclic antidepressants, in fact in 1986 when Gail disappeared and died, none of the current SSRI's were even on the market yet, Prozac came on the market in 1988. In the 80's it was quite common still to treat depression with barbituets and other tranquilizers which ironically enough fuel depression because they are depressants however you think they are working when you are on them but when the dose gets low in your body you feel worse.

Great post!

The fact that Gail was calling into a late night radio station just to talk to the DJ should speak volumes about her mindset at the time. She was obviously very lonely, also possibly shy, which added to her problem of not being able to find a mate. She was obviously suffering from depression, and the fact that she had two failed marriages didn't help matters.

I have also wondered whether or not there was a real "John" that she was talking to on the phone the night before she disappeared. At the time, everyone thought this "John" did exist and was probably responsible for her disappearance. With what we now know, I think it's more likely Gail made him up to spare her family from knowing she was going to commit suicide.

Such a sad case this was. Things like this happen too often in our society....Depression can make people do things you would never imagine that person would do. I echo the opinion that I dont think the truck driver actually gave Gail a ride but was a case of mistaken identity. When he mentioned the pill bottles some might think it was Gail, I dont want this to come out wrong or sound bad, but in my opinion I think women who hitchhike or get into strange truck drivers semi's would have a much higher chance of having some sort of medication on them.

The DJ in this case I think might of lied a bit cause he didnt want people, especially her family, to think that maybe he was the reason that she wanted to kill herself...just my opinion there. Either way it was a sad end to a life and even though I know depression does funky things to a person I still think it was a tad selfish to do it where her family didnt know so they had that extra worrying and wasnt able to start the healing process

I think the DJ was just someone she wanted to talk to.I think she had some sort of fantasy about him,and if she met him and it didn't work out,then she wouldn't have him as a friend to call anymore.It would have ruined the fantasy for her.
also I think the fact she called late at night may have indicted she wasn't sleeping well,another sign of depression.

Rewatching this case again, I have to say that at the beginning, I got the feeling that she left. She sounded depressed and I began to think that foul play was less and less likely.

I think the Truck Driver was, in his mind, telling the truth. He was just mistaken, and that is understandable.

Part of what I feel like is that maybe the blind date stood her up and that was the straw that broke the camel's back for her.

What I will never understand about this case, is why Gail Delano (unless she was completely insane) thought it would be less painful for her family to assume she'd been dragged off and possibly murdered by a killer or wandering the streets as a homeless person somewhere not knowing who she was, than to find out she committed suicide. There are ways she could have taken her own life, saying she was going out of town and having a car accident for example, where the speculation of suicide might still be there, but the family could always assume or tell themselves that she lost control of the car. Even a note explaining what she did and saying, you won't find me, may seem cruel, but not crueler than the speculation and not knowing.

I find it interesting, in the update, the way they show Gail hiding her keys and tossing her purse, it's so cold - like the way a killer would be in another segment, only the person Gail murdered was Gail. Gave me an interesting take on suicide - what it means to have murderer and victim in the same person. Thank God for unsolved mysteries - how else would this family have had any closure? Even with the show - it still seems like a miracle that the guy was watching and recognized her!

Just came across a newspaper article that was recently uploaded on Google. Several tidbits of info that I don't think has ever been reported on this board before:

http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=2457&dat=19881103&id=yKhJAAAAIBAJ&sjid=Ow4NAAAAIBAJ&pg=1366,793659

This may have already been discussed or answered but that place where her car was found and where she was supposed to meet this guy did anyone witness her going into the coffee place and waiting for this man? Maybe he just stood her up and she got really upset and that was the final straw. Since she was suffering from clinical depression maybe she went into a trance type thing due to him not showing up and then staged her own disappearance etc. maybe she didn't even realise what she was doing. I know in other UM cases they mention the condition known as the Fugue state where something in ones life becomes too much for them to handle and they aren't the person they were before- they don't remember anything- maybe that happened to her. Then again why would she dump her purse etc and seemingly be in a conscious state of mind to take her money and the secret $5 note in the hidden compartment of her purse? Any thoughts?

It's very sad that people around her didn't realize that Gail had some serious mental health issues. With some medication and some counseling, there might (and probably) have been a different result.

I think the reason why she staged everything the way she did was because of the shame she would bring to her family. Her children would think that she didn't love them enough to stay, and everyone in town would be whispering. I think she staged everything so people would think that poor Gail had met with foul play....everyone would feel sorry for her and her children. I'm certain her plan would have worked if UM had not profiled the story.

It's very sad that people around her didn't realize that Gail had some serious mental health issues. With some medication and some counseling, there might (and probably) have been a different result.

I agree totally. The previous history of depression and suicide ideations were definitely hard indicators that she needed a lot of help. It's sometimes hard for family and friends to see that, and I certainly don't blame anyone close to Gail for not "doing anything about it". I've never been one to say Gail was selfish or superficial. I think she was extremely ill and not at all thinking rationally when she made her plan and followed it through.

Was it mentioned or proven in the segment update that the man Gail was allegedly talking to over the phone was totally made up? I don't think they ever proved that the guy didn't exist, IIRC. I think it's totally possible that "John" did exist and he stood Gail up.

The boyfriend didn't even exist. It was something concocted by her. It was an elaborate hoax, so elaborate that she even pretended to have a 3 hour conversation with him when in reality, she was talking to a dial tone.


Ah ok thanks for the info- how did you find out it was an elaborate hoax she concocted? Did it mention it in the segment? I may have missed it

Was it mentioned or proven in the segment update that the man Gail was allegedly talking to over the phone was totally made up? I don't think they ever proved that the guy didn't exist, IIRC. I think it's totally possible that "John" did exist and he stood Gail up.


That's my question too!!! Was it proven?

"John" does not exist. Gale kept detailed records of the men who responded to her ads as well as always giving the first and last name of the men to her mother. Neither of those things happened in this instance. The only John in her date book was tracked down and had a rock-solid alibi and hadn't talked to Gale in months (if at all). That should clear up any doubts.

John was invented by Gale as someone to throw suspicion on, so that nobody would ever find out she committed suicide.

Right.

I admit I get a chill thinking about her pretending to have a two-and-a-half hour conversation with an imaginary man. :eek:

Knowing that Gail was in no way mentally stable, I still have a hard time buying into the fact that she would appear outwardly normal to her children, and then pretend to have a 2 and a half hour conversation with a dial tone. I just can't fathom how that could even be done. This guy "John" could have been an alias for someone who got cold feet or played a prank on Gail and stood her up. Wasn't she supposed to go on a date with "John" the day after the phone call? If so, this would explain why the first and last name may not have been recorded or given to her mother.

The previous history of depression and suicide ideations were definitely hard indicators that she needed a lot of help. It's sometimes hard for family and friends to see that, and I certainly don't blame anyone close to Gail for not "doing anything about it".

Taking that into account, when the sister came on the screen and said there was no way Gale would commit suicide and leave her sons to wonder where she was, I couldn't help but think the sister was a little dense.

I'm also not convinced that 'John' didn't exist. I was always under the impression that his standing her up was the straw that broke the camel's back. Perhaps she was at the bitter end and in a moment of bitter compulsion, she staged the whole scene and fled. The fact that she didn't have detailed notes on John doesn't necessarily mean he didn't exist. Maybe at that point she was in such deep depression she was becoming withdrawn and lazy in her note taking. I guess we'll never know.

Maybe the "John" standing her up pushed Delano to the breaking point. She was already suffering from depression. I also don't buy Gail talking to a dial tone for two and a half hours. Wouldn't her sons notice something like hearing a busy tone sound on the phone?

Maybe the "John" standing her up pushed Delano to the breaking point. She was already suffering from depression. I also don't buy Gail talking to a dial tone for two and a half hours. Wouldn't her sons notice something like hearing a busy tone sound on the phone?

Plus I'd imagine that it would be fairly difficult to keep going on and on in conversation for over two hours when there's nobody to talk to except yourself.

"John" is the most generic name in the world. She purposefully chose "John" for that reason, so that it couldn't be traced back to anybody.

Or perhaps if he does exist, mabye Gail stood *him* up?

I don't think there ever was a mystery man named John either. This case is just so tragically sad and I feel bad even discussing it as it is my sincerest hope that neither of Gail's boys ever wander onto this site and find us dissecting this case and in doing so it brings back a wealth of bad memories for them.

I've discussed this case a lot in the past and I still feel the same way then as I do now. It's almost as if we as a forum or community want to bring some logic to the illogical and unfathomable but in regards to this case, in order to understand it properly in my opinion you need to embrace the unfathomable because that is just the type of case this is. I think of Gail's family often and hope that time has helped lift this heavy burden from their hearts and I also hope that Gail has now found the peace that eluded her in life.

I don't think there ever was a mystery man named John either. This case is just so tragically sad and I feel bad even discussing it as it is my sincerest hope that neither of Gail's boys ever wander onto this site and find us dissecting this case and in doing so it brings back a wealth of bad memories for them.

I've discussed this case a lot in the past and I still feel the same way then as I do now. It's almost as if we as a forum or community want to bring some logic to the illogical and unfathomable but in regards to this case, in order to understand it properly in my opinion you need to embrace the unfathomable because that is just the type of case this is. I think of Gail's family often and hope that time has helped lift this heavy burden from their hearts and I also hope that Gail has now found the peace that eluded her in life.

^ This, all of it.

I see your points, but can't the same be said for most of the cases on here? I don't think the Hechts would love to stumble on here and find a bunch of comments about how they're allegedly a bunch of artsy-fartsy, hoity-toity snobs who couldn't bear the thought of their privileged son hanging around a homeless bum.

Yes, I think so--and that's an especially good example.

I think we're giving too much credit to Gail here. Depressed/mentally unstable, whatever you want to call it, just imagine trying to sit down and act like you are having a one way conversation for well over two hours! It's damn near impossible to even think about.

I think we're giving too much credit to Gail here. Depressed/mentally unstable, whatever you want to call it, just imagine trying to sit down and act like you are having a one way conversation for well over two hours! It's damn near impossible to even think about.

Possibly but it's hard to ignore there was some intricate planning in place in regards to her disappearance.

She tells her children that she is going to meet a man named "John" at a restaurant and possibly spend the day with him. Since she was likely aware that her children knew that she at times would stay out all night, she knew they wouldn't be concerned if she didn't come home that evening.

That gave her plenty of time to carry out and stage her disappearance. She discarded both her keys and her purse in a manner that would lead people to think she was abducted before boarding a plane to Alabama. Upon arriving in Alabama, Delano not only registered under an assumed name ("Jackie Stafford") at the hotel where she later took her own life but also according to some articles I've read, donned a wig and may have done something to make herself appear heavier than she actually was.

So I don't know if we are giving Gail DeLano too much credit here. I think given the lengths she went to concoct this elaborate disappearance, she may have factored in a phantom phone call (speaking only to a dial tone for two hours) the night before she vanished. One interesting point is I believe somewhere in the segment it is mentioned that Gail received a call (ostensibly from "John") the night before she vanished. This is interesting because most of us are assuming that she just picked up the phone and carried on an animated conversation with herself for two hours but again I believe it is mentioned during the segment that someone did call Gail that evening.

A few other points. Does anyone get the impression that aside from being depressed, that Gail DeLano may have also suffered from social anxiety disorder? The reason I ask is because that is essentially what the DJ describes her as suffering from. He basically states that he couldn't get Gail DeLano to leave her house period. I know the segment mentions that Gail DeLano was shy and introverted but some of the comments that the DJ makes, cause me to think that perhaps there might be more to that than just personality traits.

Finally, does anyone think it's a bit odd that DeLano would often stay out all night? I mean we're not talking about a single woman in her twenties without any responsibilities. She had two children and yet seemed to be engaging in behavior more in line with that of someone much younger. In fact and this is just my totally subjective read of the situation, the only time in my life where I intentionally stayed out all night was during the period of time directly following my mother's death and the reason I engaged in such behavior is I didn't want to go home and fall asleep because at the time, I was being traumatized by nightmares on a nightly basis.

I'm just saying the fact that DeLano given both her age and where she was at that point in her life, would stay out all night strikes me as a bit odd.

I was referencing giving Gail too much credit because of the ability to talk to no one for over 2 hours. If in fact the segment does say that she received a call, that makes this "John" guy seem more like a real date, IMO. She actually drove to the Howard Johnson, IIRC, so that would make it seem like there was an date planned with "John" there. If "John" was made up, why go tell your kids you're going to a Howard Johnson's to meet up, and actually go to that location to ditch your things? Why not just leave and committ suicide out of state like she wound up doing anyway? Just seems odd to me that she would go through the trouble to do that. Unless of course "John" was real and he did in fact stand her up which set her over the edge.

I know this has been touched on before in this thread, but as a straight woman, I'd like to clarify some things.

Insecurities are developed by constant internalization and self-reinforcement, and when they're of the type Gail fostered, they're almost never based on anything rational or true. If you absolutely believe you are undesirable, physically unattractive, or otherwise unappealing, no amount of men coming forward to take you out, tell you otherwise, or marry you is going to impact your feelings. You are not suddenly going to change your mind and think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread just because some guy you just met on a two-hour date last night told you so--in fact, his opinion is even LESS valid. He doesn't "know" you. He hasn't been around you long enough to recognize your "flaws". Holding such deep insecurities almost always go hand-in-hand with major depressive disorder--which is not a simple state (indeed, it's not a state at all--it's an illness) you can just snap out of with a new haircut and a compliment from a total stranger on the street.

At the risk of sounding snippy--and it's not at all my intent nor my feeling here--the vast majority of women do not hang on a man's every word or action. The notion that Gail should have magically snapped out of her mental illness and dumped all her deep-seated insecurities after going out with a couple of dudes is absurd and a little insulting.

I maintain she was a very, very ill woman. For this reason, it might be more than a little self-defeating to attempt to rationalize all her behaviors.

Maybe the "John" standing her up pushed Delano to the breaking point. She was already suffering from depression. I also don't buy Gail talking to a dial tone for two and a half hours. Wouldn't her sons notice something like hearing a busy tone sound on the phone?



Exactly! That was my impression all along that he stood her up and she had a meltdown :( depression makes people do terrible things!

Gail could have been suicidal all along, and she could have thought about how and where she was going to do it. "John", if real, standing her up could have been the tip of the iceberg. I don't blame "John" at all. Gail and Gail alone are responsible for her taking her own life.

Groans.

And it all just reinforces the fact she was a selfish woman who didn't think about anyone but her poor self.

It's very sad that Gail had to concoct an elaborate veil to cover her suicide. She must have been dealing with some incredible personal demons to do so, and it's impossible to fathom the pain her family had to go through until they learned the truth. Hopefully Gail has peace now and her family has been able to heal.

That said, people who are depressed and/or suffer with severe addiction tend to turn inward and ignore everyone else for two reasons: either because they are deeply involved in their problems and don't care enough to seek help because they don't feel they deserve it (or just don't know where to start), or they spend most of their time self-medicating just to get through the day. When you are depressed it takes all you have to just deal with your own needs, let alone trying to take care of others like spouses and children. I am speaking from personal experience because I have done the same thing. And yes, it's "selfish." I hurt many family and friends when I was dealing with my addiction and there is nothing I can do to ever fix that. People like me have to deal with that everyday of our lives. There are no winners in a situation like that. Gail was probably hurting just as much as her family was.

Seeking help is a good thing, but it's VERY overwhelming and scary in the beginning.

You have the right to your opinion, Wiseguy. But as someone who has dealt with depression and addiction, I find your words appalling and disgusting. Bad attitudes like yours are the reason mental illness still has such a stigma attached to it. We may be selfish in some ways but we do not set out to purposely behave that way. We do not hurt our loved ones and friends because we take delight in doing so.

Why you seem so bitter about Gail escapes me. All I can say is that her final thoughts were probably very irrational and there will be no understanding. Maybe she was trying to make it look like she was abducted to save her family the horror of knowing she just wanted to take her own life. Suicide still has a stigma, too. Nobody will ever know. I don't see how you can think that Gail was a bad person and a bad mother. She probably did the best she could with what she had to work with, at a time when people were still mum about mental illness. It's only been in the past 20+ years or so that we've began to encourage those who suffer from addiction and depression, rather than judge them as crazy and worthless.

Would you have the courage to repeat your words if you had to stand face to face with one of Gail's children, or even Gail herself? How do you think that would make them feel?

You can discuss her case without judging her. What you have said goes beyond normal debate. You are being flat out mean. I pray that you never have to go through a situation like that because it's not the least bit fun for anyone. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. On the other hand, if you do, maybe you'll understand and have a little more compassion.

We have got to encourage people who suffer and reach out to them. Judging them is the worst thing you can do.

Meg is right- there is no rationalizing her actions. Depression and addiction are very irrational.

Gail Delano was a HUMAN BEING. She was not perfect. And guess what Wiseguy: Neither are you.

What I'd be interested in knowing is if Gail went off her meds, which I suspect she probably did. Gail can't be blamed for having mental illness, but she can be blamed if she stopped taking her medication. It seems like people with mental illnesses voluntarily stopping taking their meds is a relatively high occurrence.

People very often cease taking medication once their symptoms subside, regardless of the ailment. Suppose someone has a bacterial infection. Although his or her physician may instruct the individual to take every single appropriate dose in the bottle or pack, many people stop as soon as they don't experience a runny nose, itchy skin, or a sore throat anymore. I know I've certainly done it before. On at least one occasion, I've had an ear infection come roaring back because I failed to take the full course of antibiotics prescribed for me.

It's often the same deal with mental illness. You feel better, and you rationalize that you don't need your medication anymore. Frequently with mental illness, however, medication is prescribed for relatively long periods of time as opposed to a two-week supply. The stigma of mental illness doesn't make it particularly easy for patients who must regularly take medication and be reminded that they're "not normal", "sick", and "unlike" others every time it's time to take another dose--not to mention many medications produce unpleasant side effects in many people: grogginess, nausea, "jitters". Imagine having to choose between not feeling very well at all nearly all the time or "going off" your medication. Occasionally, the individual cannot afford the medication at all, as is the case with many elders.

While I don't at all doubt your experiences with people who haven't been taking their medication were frightening, it is important to note that the vast majority of people with mental illnesses (without substance abuse comorbidity) are not violent, and are in fact far more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators.

By the way, did anyone else hate that trucker in the segment? Guy irritated the hell out of me. "She had that northern accent pretty bad", way to display your intolerance of us northerners on national television fella. I think this was someone who was craving their 15 minutes of fame, he just wanted to go on t.v. and talk about how he supposedly gave this down-on-their-luck person $20 so he could look like a saint out of the whole ordeal. I don't think he ever met Gail and I don't buy the crap he was selling.

I think he honestly thought Gail was the woman he picked up. I personally didn't sense that his "northern accent" comment conveyed any intolerance toward northerners. I've had people in the Midwest and Mid-Atlantic make similar comments about my own (southern) accent to my face, and the vast majority of the time I think they were just trying to convey that the way I speak was unusual for the area and it interested them.

It's very sad that Gail had to concoct an elaborate veil to cover her suicide. She must have been dealing with some incredible personal demons to do so, and it's impossible to fathom the pain her family had to go through until they learned the truth. Hopefully Gail has peace now and her family has been able to heal.

That said, people who are depressed and/or suffer with severe addiction tend to turn inward and ignore everyone else for two reasons: either because they are deeply involved in their problems and don't care enough to seek help because they don't feel they deserve it (or just don't know where to start), or they spend most of their time self-medicating just to get through the day. When you are depressed it takes all you have to just deal with your own needs, let alone trying to take care of others like spouses and children. I am speaking from personal experience because I have done the same thing. And yes, it's "selfish." I hurt many family and friends when I was dealing with my addiction and there is nothing I can do to ever fix that. People like me have to deal with that everyday of our lives. There are no winners in a situation like that. Gail was probably hurting just as much as her family was.

Seeking help is a good thing, but it's VERY overwhelming and scary in the beginning.

You have the right to your opinion, Wiseguy. But as someone who has dealt with depression and addiction, I find your words appalling and disgusting. Bad attitudes like yours are the reason mental illness still has such a stigma attached to it. We may be selfish in some ways but we do not set out to purposely behave that way. We do not hurt our loved ones and friends because we take delight in doing so.

Why you seem so bitter about Gail escapes me. All I can say is that her final thoughts were probably very irrational and there will be no understanding. Maybe she was trying to make it look like she was abducted to save her family the horror of knowing she just wanted to take her own life. Suicide still has a stigma, too. Nobody will ever know. I don't see how you can think that Gail was a bad person and a bad mother. She probably did the best she could with what she had to work with, at a time when people were still mum about mental illness. It's only been in the past 20+ years or so that we've began to encourage those who suffer from addiction and depression, rather than judge them as crazy and worthless.

Would you have the courage to repeat your words if you had to stand face to face with one of Gail's children, or even Gail herself? How do you think that would make them feel?

You can discuss her case without judging her. What you have said goes beyond normal debate. You are being flat out mean. I pray that you never have to go through a situation like that because it's not the least bit fun for anyone. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. On the other hand, if you do, maybe you'll understand and have a little more compassion.

We have got to encourage people who suffer and reach out to them. Judging them is the worst thing you can do.

Meg is right- there is no rationalizing her actions. Depression and addiction are very irrational.

Gail Delano was a HUMAN BEING. She was not perfect. And guess what Wiseguy: Neither are you.



*******APPLAUSE!********** WELL SAID ALLIERAIN :D

I know this has been touched on before in this thread, but as a straight woman, I'd like to clarify some things.

Insecurities are developed by constant internalization and self-reinforcement, and when they're of the type Gail fostered, they're almost never based on anything rational or true. If you absolutely believe you are undesirable, physically unattractive, or otherwise unappealing, no amount of men coming forward to take you out, tell you otherwise, or marry you is going to impact your feelings. You are not suddenly going to change your mind and think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread just because some guy you just met on a two-hour date last night told you so--in fact, his opinion is even LESS valid. He doesn't "know" you. He hasn't been around you long enough to recognize your "flaws". Holding such deep insecurities almost always go hand-in-hand with major depressive disorder--which is not a simple state (indeed, it's not a state at all--it's an illness) you can just snap out of with a new haircut and a compliment from a total stranger on the street.

At the risk of sounding snippy--and it's not at all my intent nor my feeling here--the vast majority of women do not hang on a man's every word or action. The notion that Gail should have magically snapped out of her mental illness and dumped all her deep-seated insecurities after going out with a couple of dudes is absurd and a little insulting.

I maintain she was a very, very ill woman. For this reason, it might be more than a little self-defeating to attempt to rationalize all her behaviors.

This really reminded me of a quote I like from Dr. Phil, he's said this several times: "It takes a thousand "Atta boy"s to overcome one "You're worthless and no good."

Granted that's in the context of parents and their kids, but I think it's very relevant to people's self-esteem in general in many situations. Sadly, the truth is, we remember anything negative that others have said or even implied about us. And it can take a lot of good things and time to help override that. Even still, it doesn't magically erase the bad things from our memories. Way too often, people expect that you'll "just snap out of it", and it's not that simple.

I think lots of us have had moments of feeling that way (myself included). It's just that Gail's was just far more severe and made her act irrationally. To the outside observer, it seems selfish to leave her sons and her family, but her thought process wasn't what most of ours is.

Maybe she viewed her failed marriages as "proof" (in her mind) that no man would be interested in her. Like you said, maybe she rationalized that once they got to know her, flaws and all, they'd bail on her as her two ex-husbands (and maybe other guys she'd just dated since) had done. If so, then she'd have been stuck between being terrified of getting into a new relationship, but equally hated being alone too, so there was no easy answer.

I do wonder about the DJ. It actually makes some sense that she may have had a crush on the guy and wanted to meet/be in some kind of relationship with him, but when he actually suggested meeting up just for coffee, she backed out. However, it was mentioned that she often stayed out all night (which would seem inconsistent with that). Maybe she was on medication, so her moods could've fluctuated a bit depending on the situation?

One other point I'm curious about is that, I wonder what kind of relationship she had with her sons? Was she close to them? Were they rebellious and gave her trouble, which might've contributed to her feeling "alone" even more? From the little bits I could tell from the segment (though they weren't interviewed), they seemed pretty close to one another. Maybe it's not relevant to her death, but if she was close to her parents and her sons, then she did have some kind of support system. Maybe none of them knew the deep extent of how she was feeling until after the fact?

*******APPLAUSE!********** WELL SAID ALLIERAIN :D

I second this.

This is by far one of the most heartbreaking segments that ever aired on UM, and one of the best representations of how wretched and emotionally crippling clinical depression really is.

So many of the above commenters are on point with their observations about Gail's shattered emotional state and how her illness caused her to go some really extreme lengths to end her own life.

A few observations:

a) What really stood out to me about Gail's suicide was how she staged her own disappearance. Not only did she leave her car in a public place where it could be recovered, but she also ditched her keys and her purse. In a way, she was erasing her own identity. The fact that she checked into the Alabama hotel room under a false name and while wearing a disguise also lends credence to this. I think at that point, Gail felt that she ceased to exist, and wanted to end her life peacefully in a place (and under an assumed name) where she'd never be found.

b) Gail parked her car outside the restaurant in Brunswick, ME and flew to Mobile, AL to commit suicide. Mobile is approximately 1,600 miles from Brunswick, and it's downright mystifying that she traveled that far just to end her own life. I've read about countless suicide cases over the years and this is the first case I've heard of where the victim actually flew thousands of miles just to commit suicide. That to me suggests that Gail felt incredibly guilty about what she was doing and didn't just want to end her life. She wanted to travel to a place where she knew nobody and nobody knew her so she could disappear off the face of the Earth. That's truly heartbreaking.

c) By staging her "disappearance" at the restaurant, Gail also seemed to be plotting her own murder. If you think about it, since Gail was flying out of town, she could've easily ditched her car at the airport and went on her way. Instead, she intentionally concocted her own fake abduction, complete with a shadowy suitor named "John", to spare her family the pain of her pending suicide.

As others have (correctly) pointed out, Gail kept detailed records of a every man that she met through the personal ads, first and last name. The mystery man "John", whom she was supposed to meet at the restaurant the day she disappeared, conveniently had no surname. It's because he didn't exist. I think Gail concocted "John" out of thin air to create a puzzle that her family and the authorities would never be able to solve.

Suppose Gail was in fact abducted and murdered. If the only possible suspect the police had was a Caucasian man named John, they'd have absolutely nothing to follow and would have little chance of ever finding Gail's body or her murderer. It seems to me that that's exactly what Gail wanted. She wanted her boys to think she was abducted and wanted the police to search for a kidnapper who didn't actually exist so that nobody would ever discover the heart-shattering truth of her fate.

While her boys would obviously be devastated that their mother was abducted and killed, Gail probably figured they'd have a better chance of making peace with her murder than her suicide. It seems irrational, but it really speaks to how low Gail felt about herself.

c) I like others was surprised that a single mother with two young children was prone to being out at all hours of the night. But I doubt she was getting into any trouble. People who suffer from severe depression often live very shadowy and solitary lives and usually don't have the best sleep schedules. My best guess is that Gail would go out for long drives at night, keeping to herself, in order to be alone with her thoughts. A young woman driving alone through darkened, empty streets at night sounds quite dangerous, but for a depressed person this can be very therapeutic. They're not bothering anybody and nobody is bothering them.

d) The late-night DJ was probably just a distant friend who cared about Gail and wanted the best for her. As others have pointed out, in the pre-Internet 1980s, late-night, call-in radio shows and newspaper personal ads were the outlets for many lonely people to connect with the world. She was probably a regular caller who the DJ was sympathetic towards.

e) As to who was at the other end of the mystery phone call right before Gail disappeared, that's anyone's guess. To me, it's a loose thread that UM left dangling because even in the 1980s, the source of the call would've been easy to trace simply by examining Gail's phone-bill.

Also keep in mind that UM would often "stage" real-life events for clarity and cinematic purposes. While the viewer is left with the impression that Gail sat in the living room talking on the phone while her children sat right next to her watching TV, in real life she could've taken the "call" in another room or simply reported the call to her kids the next morning.

In any event, I doubt very much that Gail would stage an entire, hours-long conversation with a dial tone while her children were sitting right next to her. That would suggest a much more severe mental illness (like schizophrenia) that's way beyond Gail's clinical depression. There's no indication that Gail was that cognitively far gone.

f) At the end of the day, this was a classic case of a severely depressed woman who felt that she had no place in the world and who felt that her family and friends would be better off without her. She likely staged her own "abduction" in order to alleviate her intense guilt about what she was about to do. But even when faced with the reality of leaving her two boys without their mother, Gail probably felt that this was the only way out, and that by taking her own life she'd be ending her pain forever.

Others have questioned why Gail would feel so eternally love-lorn when so many potential suitors were questioned by police. This of course suggests that there were plenty of men who were interested in Gail (in addition to the late-night DJ), so why would Gail spurn them all and live in a state of perpetual heartbreak?

I think it's because severely depressed people often view themselves as a burden to EVERYBODY, and don't feel they'd be of value to anybody in a long-term relationship. Gail may have gone on several dates, courted a few men, and maybe had a few sexual encounters, all of which would've given her a confidence-boosting thrill. However, at the end of the day, her depression would always return, and Gail would be back to feeling worthless and incapable of a true, loving relationship, even if the men she dated had nothing but the best intentions for her.

It's also important to remember that no matter how much Gail seemed to fantasize about her Prince Charming (as evidenced by her journal entries that were quoted in the segment), severely depressed people often seek out valueless, go-nowhere relationships in order to spare themselves from the heartbreak that they see as inevitable. I'm not surprised that Gail went on so many dates, but I doubt she had any long-term intentions with any of them. I think she was too far gone emotionally to be in a relationship mindset.

My heart goes to out to her family and friends. Even after all these years, they may still be haunted by the memories of this lonely woman who went to such lengths to cover up her own suicide. I just hope they didn't blame themselves for Gail's depression or her suicide. And I certainly hope Gail is in a better place.

Didn't the segment also state that Gail destroyed all of her money and THEN flew to Alabama and checked into a hotel? How do you pay for a plane ticket and a hotel with no money? Unless she used a credit card ?

Didn't the segment also state that Gail destroyed all of her money and THEN flew to Alabama and checked into a hotel? How do you pay for a plane ticket and a hotel with no money? Unless she used a credit card ?

I believe the segment said that she ditched her purse. I don't think they mentioned her destroying the money. She could have used cash.

I believe the segment said that she ditched her purse. I don't think they mentioned her destroying the money. She could have used cash.

In addition, I believe the segment also mentioned that Gail usually kept a $20 bill secretly stashed under other stuff in her purse for emergencies, but it was missing when the purse was found. When I first watched this case, this detail was the biggest red flag that Gail staged her own disappearance since it's unlikely a thief would have found that money.

i cant seem to find the video for this episode so i am missing some details. but was just reading some of the replies and wondered was it ever confirmed she was actually on a flight? or are they literally just going off a napkin? why would she carry a napkin off the plane if she didnt want anyone to connect it to her. that is giving a link. unless that is what she wanted deep down, a little clue so there is hope she would be found. i know it is older days and there wasnt so much focus on airports and security there, but wouldnt she need a passport or ID ? i just dont seem to understand, unless i am missing something, how they found out she was definitely on a plane?
How far was it to drive from maine to alabama back in those days, she could have easily hitchiked with a truck driver, she didnt check into the hotel til after 11pm.
Also that is really odd she wore a wig. maybe she wore it from the time she left home.
Also it says she checked into the motel and asked for 2 nights and then was found 3 days later. how far away was the truck driver sighting? maybe she checked in and then went hitchiking to meet someone.
I find it highly odd she had a fake conversation for hours. i think she was talking to the DJ or there actually was a guy, even if she had no intention of ever meeting up with him. i just dont see how she could of faked her way through a 3 hour conversation.
I wish i could rewatch this segment as i am missing alot of details. couldnt they have checked her phone records of the night before and seen that there was a phone call that long?

*******APPLAUSE!********** WELL SAID ALLIERAIN

I second this.

I agree. Bravo! Mental health issues are very serious and very real. Obviously it doesn't even occur to some people to be embarrassed for their remarks.

Was it ever confirmed she was actually on a flight?

I can't remember. I know she registered at the hotel under an alias. Not sure if she used cash to pay for it or what.

I know it is older days and there wasnt so much focus on airports and security there, but wouldnt she need a passport or ID?

She wouldn't have needed a passport. I can't remember if airlines made you show your driver's license for ID purposed or not back in the 80s. Anyone recall?

How far was it to drive from maine to alabama back in those days?

I'm not sure which two cities she was in in those two states, but currently a trip by car from Maine to Alabama is roughly 24 hours long, according to google maps. If there have been new expressways built since then, a trip by road would have taken even longer back in 1986.

I lost my notes on which of my CDs has which segment on it, so I can't find this segment right now.

About that faked (?) phone call.... How was that portrayed? Were there people in the room with her the whole time, or was she in a different room and occasionally someone walked by and saw that she was still on the phone?

Back in the 80s, (at least with the Michigan Bell telephone company) if you left a phone off the receiver for very long, you would first have a dial tone, then after a few minutes, there was a recording saying to hang up the phone and try your call again, and after that this horrible sounding buzzing/beeping noise was played very loudly to alert anyone in the room with the phone that the receiver was off the hook.

I can't remember how long that grating buzzing noise would play and if the line would eventually just go silent or what.

If she was faking a phone call with people in the room, they would definitely hear that sound. And it was played so loudly that you wouldn't want to hold it up to your ear either. That makes me wonder if she had disconnected the phone from the wall where it couldn't be seen by a casual observer, or if she actually was having a phone conversation for that whole time.

Felt so sorry for Gail's parents and her sons especially the way they found out and the length of time it took. Gail sitting there with her sons and lying to them about meeting a new man; you just have to wonder what would drive a mother to do such a thing as to lie to her family like that.

Ironic that the truck driver that gave her a ride his name was John and that the apparent last man she went out on a date with was also called John.

Ironic that the truck driver that gave her a ride his name was John and that the apparent last man she went out on a date with was also called John.
Hmmm I never caught that and this has to be one of the most iconic missing persons segments.

I had never seen this segment until recently. While I was watching, I figured she was either abducted or ran off intentionally, but I was definitely expecting an update either way. I wasn't prepared for the fact that she staged everything then flew all the way to Alabama to kill herself.

I feel bad for all involved in this story, especially her family. "Not knowing" is a disease in and of itself. I won't get too specific but when you want and need the answers to something so bad but do not have them, it will eat you alive. I imagine her family was a wreck just wanting to know where she was and if anything happened to her.

I also feel for Gail. I don't believe it was mentioned (other than stating that she had prescription medication) but was she depressed or seeing any kind of doctor for depression?

I don't believe it was mentioned (other than stating that she had prescription medication) but was she depressed or seeing any kind of doctor for depression?
Yes, she had seen a doctor for depression (and had been diagnosed). I don't remember if she was on medication or not. I don't condone what she did, but I definitely pity her, too. Somewhere in her mind, she thought that doing this would be easier on her family.

I know many people have mentioned how horrible it is that she staged her disappearance, but honestly, is it really that much worse than having your family find your body after committing suicide? I think that is just as bad or even worse to traumatize your loved ones with the discovery. Whatever the case, Gail was a depressed woman and not well at the time she made this decision. I wish she had gotten the help she so desperately needed.

I used to think that Gail was incredibly selfish and horrible for doing what she did.

Since that time, however, I have been dealing with a very close loved one who battles with crippling depression and anxiety. This person has often talked about "running away" to kill themselves. They have talked of "just vanishing." When trying to reason with the person, I am confronted with the same broken record: "I know you care, but I don't."

I think THIS is the same type of mindset that Gail was in. Part of me thinks that she was trying to lessen the load on her kids in that they may remember her as a fun, youthful mother instead of lying on a cold slab in the morgue. Sometimes, it's easier to live in denial as a family member than to confront the truth (Jason Grateful Doe rings a bell here....) Maybe she hoped that her children would choose to believe that she ran away to start over.

I know a lot of us wonder why Gail would choose to kill herself and leave a family that clearly loved her. Obviously, it didn't make much sense. Unfortunately, you can't reason with depression.

Random Observation: I am now roughly the same age Gail was when she disappeared. That's mind-boggling to me.

I used to think that Gail was incredibly selfish and horrible for doing what she did.

Since that time, however, I have been dealing with a very close loved one who battles with crippling depression and anxiety. This person has often talked about "running away" to kill themselves. They have talked of "just vanishing." When trying to reason with the person, I am confronted with the same broken record: "I know you care, but I don't."

I think THIS is the same type of mindset that Gail was in. Part of me thinks that she was trying to lessen the load on her kids in that they may remember her as a fun, youthful mother instead of lying on a cold slab in the morgue. Sometimes, it's easier to live in denial as a family member than to confront the truth (Jason Grateful Doe rings a bell here....) Maybe she hoped that her children would choose to believe that she ran away to start over.

I know a lot of us wonder why Gail would choose to kill herself and leave a family that clearly loved her. Obviously, it didn't make much sense. Unfortunately, you can't reason with depression.

Random Observation: I am now roughly the same age Gail was when she disappeared. That's mind-boggling to me.
I agree with your post. I often thought that she was selfish and I always remember how emotional her mom was and felt so sorry for her. I also thought UM did a good job of sympathizing with the situation after the update. I agree about depression and anxiety. Who knows what was in her mind when that happened but it must have been very difficult for her and I hope she rests Peacefully ....as well I hope her family is ok.

I know many people have mentioned how horrible it is that she staged her disappearance, but honestly, is it really that much worse than having your family find your body after committing suicide? I think that is just as bad or even worse to traumatize your loved ones with the discovery.

Good point. I mean when all is said and done, the person will still be dead in the end.

I'm still not 100% convinced that she made up this man who she was going to meet at the Howard Johnson's.

I'm still not 100% convinced that she made up this man who she was going to meet at the Howard Johnson's.

Really? It seems like that was the crux of the entire ordeal.

I agree. Depression is an all-encompassing illness. It wasn't that she didn't love and care for her family--she was just so very, very sick. Her judgement, her decision-making process was completely warped as a direct result. I wouldn't be surprised if she honestly believed that everyone--including her sons--would be better off without her, and that life would go on just as it had, without her as a "burden." :( To normal, healthy people, yes, the act is selfish--but Gail was ill, and suicide was perfectly rational in her mind.

I've always felt very badly for Gail's family, but I feel the worst for Gail herself.




That's a great question. If the latter possibility was the case, it's really unsettling. She had a relatively intricate plan to "disappear" as it was, but THAT would be very disturbing.


CD, I think this is the thread where you mention the DJ, Christian Roy, who was interviewed in the segment. I've never understood that relationship. Was this a man Gail just randomly called up one night while listening to the radio? He did mention something about her eventually asking if he'd like to meet her. It's always been a little vague and bizarre to me.

I was a very good friend of Gail Delano. She actually lived on Westport Island, not in Wiscasset.
Gail used to stay up all night, listening to WIGY radio station and as all women think, thought this D.J. Might have been hot. She checked him out, and trust me, the reason Christian couldn't get Gail to go out for a cup of coffee was because he was EXTREMELY not what she was looking for. Not pleasing enough to the eye.
She would not even get up in the morning to get her kids off to school, God forbid she should have to act like a functioning adult and get out of bed!
A psycologist suggested she get a job, it would be good for her psychologically. Her excuse was she didn't have the money to look for one. She thought he was totally rediculous when he suggested she bicycle to find a job than, thought he was being totally out there and stopped seeing him. I knew when he suggested the bicycle thing she had given him every reason as to why she couldn't go out and get a job and he was exasperated and knew she really needed to apply herself and not think her only way to happiness was by becoming someone's' kept wife. But that is what she always looked for, someone to take care of her.
As it was her parents bought her house and she lived off the state, she did nothing to help herself get better, except look for new men.
And I personally don't think she stayed on the phone for two and a half hours without someone on the other end of the line. I believe she kept a suitcase in her trunk, just in case the guy she was meeting was hot, and I do believe she met this "John" there, but something didn't click. Perhaps he wasn't hot enough for her. With that conclusion, I also believe that is when her bi polar episode kicked in way low, and she got depressed, took her suitcase and grabbed a ride with someone there headed south. She hated Maine! I also believe as someone else stated, she wasn't thinking about how hurt all those she left behind would be, just thought they would be better off without her any longer.
She left her keys on her tire,, so nobody would have to break into it as she loved her car more than one could imagine! How she got the plane ticket, if she did, is beyond me, as her parents never said if that was found out. Her sister and mother went to Mobile, where she was buried to pay their condolences.
When I first met Gail she was full of life and a fun person to know. She would spend an hour on the phone with me on a daily basis, so for her to talk to somebody she wants to meet for over an hour, I don't believe, was another cover up. I believe he was the last ray of Sunshine and when she met him, the darkness set in for the last time.

To the person that thought the trucker must have been mistaken. After reading all of this I come to the conclusion she hitch hiked her way to Alabama as there was never any airline confirming her ticket/seat on any flight. I've also read where within a few days of her disappearance, she got the motel room. (I used to know all this, as we were good friends for years and I was part of,the original investigation. But 29 years kind of confuses the memory). If she didn't get the room in Mobile, that very first day, he could have helped her get to Mobile, he could have picked the real Gail up.

I was a very good friend of Gail Delano. She actually lived on Westport Island, not in Wiscasset.
Gail used to stay up all night, listening to WIGY radio station and as all women think, thought this D.J. Might have been hot. She checked him out, and trust me, the reason Christian couldn't get Gail to go out for a cup of coffee was because he was EXTREMELY not what she was looking for. Not pleasing enough to the eye.
She would not even get up in the morning to get her kids off to school, God forbid she should have to act like a functioning adult and get out of bed!
A psycologist suggested she get a job, it would be good for her psychologically. Her excuse was she didn't have the money to look for one. She thought he was totally rediculous when he suggested she bicycle to find a job than, thought he was being totally out there and stopped seeing him. I knew when he suggested the bicycle thing she had given him every reason as to why she couldn't go out and get a job and he was exasperated and knew she really needed to apply herself and not think her only way to happiness was by becoming someone's' kept wife. But that is what she always looked for, someone to take care of her.
As it was her parents bought her house and she lived off the state, she did nothing to help herself get better, except look for new men.
And I personally don't think she stayed on the phone for two and a half hours without someone on the other end of the line. I believe she kept a suitcase in her trunk, just in case the guy she was meeting was hot, and I do believe she met this "John" there, but something didn't click. Perhaps he wasn't hot enough for her. With that conclusion, I also believe that is when her bi polar episode kicked in way low, and she got depressed, took her suitcase and grabbed a ride with someone there headed south. She hated Maine! I also believe as someone else stated, she wasn't thinking about how hurt all those she left behind would be, just thought they would be better off without her any longer.
She left her keys on her tire,, so nobody would have to break into it as she loved her car more than one could imagine! How she got the plane ticket, if she did, is beyond me, as her parents never said if that was found out. Her sister and mother went to Mobile, where she was buried to pay their condolences.
When I first met Gail she was full of life and a fun person to know. She would spend an hour on the phone with me on a daily basis, so for her to talk to somebody she wants to meet for over an hour, I don't believe, was another cover up. I believe he was the last ray of Sunshine and when she met him, the darkness set in for the last time.

WOW. Thanks so much for posting.

First off, I am very sorry for your loss. It sounds as if you and Gail were friends for quite a while before she passed away. You make it sound like she had a long battle with depression?

Also, the discussion of wanting to be a "kept woman" is something that UM did not really address. I didn't know that her parents had purchased her home for her, although for some reason I assumed Gail was from an affluent family. She didn't want to get out into the work force and was hoping that someone would provide for her financially?

In any case, I appreciate your comments. Gail's story was always really sad to me. Do you know how her children are doing?

Just saw the case last night for the first time in a long time (thanks CD) and it happened in a town about 25 miles away from me. The trucker seemed legit and honest but if Gail did fly to Alabama and died a few days later than he just had to be mistaken.
I don't believe he was mistaken. I believe she hitched her way to Mobile (it only takes 24 hours to get from Brunswick to Mobile, and the airline napkin could have come from anywhere. No airline ever confirmed a ticket/seat for her). I think he had the real lady with him. Just my belief.
She and I were friends for years. She digressed quickly!

WOW. Thanks so much for posting.

First off, I am very sorry for your loss. It sounds as if you and Gail were friends for quite a while before she passed away. You make it sound like she had a long battle with depression?

Also, the discussion of wanting to be a "kept woman" is something that UM did not really address. I didn't know that her parents had purchased her home for her, although for some reason I assumed Gail was from an affluent family. She didn't want to get out into the work force and was hoping that someone would provide for her financially?

In any case, I appreciate your comments. Gail's story was always really sad to me. Do you know how her children are doing?
Her oldest has always had his own problems, but is doing well. Her youngest is doing very well and happily married:)
And yes, she had depression, but back in the 80's I don't think it was common, or even diagnosed as depression. I remember her mom saying to me, after the fact, that "she had something where there was a chemical imbalance, and if they'd only known. Cause they had a medication that could have balanced that out". Now I'm not sure if her mom got that info from the autopsy results, or the doctor that performed it. But you see, even she wasn't given a diagnosis, just a simple explanation of why Gail was "imbalanced":(.

Thanks for posting, pegasus. I'm sorry for your loss; Gail's story was very saddening to me. We appreciate you coming to the board to share with us.

Her oldest has always had his own problems, but is doing well. Her youngest is doing very well and happily married:)
And yes, she had depression, but back in the 80's I don't think it was common, or even diagnosed as depression. I remember her mom saying to me, after the fact, that "she had something where there was a chemical imbalance, and if they'd only known. Cause they had a medication that could have balanced that out". Now I'm not sure if her mom got that info from the autopsy results, or the doctor that performed it. But you see, even she wasn't given a diagnosis, just a simple explanation of why Gail was "imbalanced":(.Thank you for this update. It is a tragedy what happened, and I'm sorry for your and their loss.

However, it is very good to hear that her kids are doing well.

Glad to hear that Gail's kids are doing well.

Thanks so much for posting pegasus_48. Its always nice when friends of relatives post and give us more information about the person and the case. I will ask if you don't mind, in all your dealings with Gail, did you ever think she was suicidal? I'm just curious if the family and close friends ever had that fear when she went missing or they did truly think she met with foul play. Thanks!

I was a very good friend of Gail Delano. She actually lived on Westport Island, not in Wiscasset.
Gail used to stay up all night, listening to WIGY radio station and as all women think, thought this D.J. Might have been hot. She checked him out, and trust me, the reason Christian couldn't get Gail to go out for a cup of coffee was because he was EXTREMELY not what she was looking for. Not pleasing enough to the eye.
She would not even get up in the morning to get her kids off to school, God forbid she should have to act like a functioning adult and get out of bed!
A psycologist suggested she get a job, it would be good for her psychologically. Her excuse was she didn't have the money to look for one. She thought he was totally rediculous when he suggested she bicycle to find a job than, thought he was being totally out there and stopped seeing him. I knew when he suggested the bicycle thing she had given him every reason as to why she couldn't go out and get a job and he was exasperated and knew she really needed to apply herself and not think her only way to happiness was by becoming someone's' kept wife. But that is what she always looked for, someone to take care of her.
As it was her parents bought her house and she lived off the state, she did nothing to help herself get better, except look for new men.
And I personally don't think she stayed on the phone for two and a half hours without someone on the other end of the line. I believe she kept a suitcase in her trunk, just in case the guy she was meeting was hot, and I do believe she met this "John" there, but something didn't click. Perhaps he wasn't hot enough for her. With that conclusion, I also believe that is when her bi polar episode kicked in way low, and she got depressed, took her suitcase and grabbed a ride with someone there headed south. She hated Maine! I also believe as someone else stated, she wasn't thinking about how hurt all those she left behind would be, just thought they would be better off without her any longer.
She left her keys on her tire,, so nobody would have to break into it as she loved her car more than one could imagine! How she got the plane ticket, if she did, is beyond me, as her parents never said if that was found out. Her sister and mother went to Mobile, where she was buried to pay their condolences.
When I first met Gail she was full of life and a fun person to know. She would spend an hour on the phone with me on a daily basis, so for her to talk to somebody she wants to meet for over an hour, I don't believe, was another cover up. I believe he was the last ray of Sunshine and when she met him, the darkness set in for the last time.

I think this is probably one of the most informative posts on the entire history of this forum.

pegasus, I hope you don't mind me asking a few questions:

-The segment stated that Gale was twice divorced. By chance, do you know what happened with her 2 marriages?

-do you know what her sons reactions to her disappearance were, and who took care of them?

Thanks! Gale's case appeared on the very first regular episode of UM and is definitely a memorable one.

Wow, loved that informative post! Gail's assumption that a man would save her from a depressed existence is actually (and unfortunately) common. I knew a few friends like that (not as severe as Gail) but they are only in their mid-late 20s so who knows down the road. Gail's therapist was correct in his suggestions and its terribly unfortunate she didn't take his advice.

Thank you pegasus_48 for taking the time to post here and share a lot of insight that the UM segment and newspaper articles I've read on the case did not.

I want to first say how I feel bad for her friends and family, sons especially, and I have empathy for her struggles with mental illness. The stigmas connected with mental illness were certainly worse in the past then they are now, but we still have a long way to go.

I personally thought Brandon Marshall's ESPN interview about BPD right before the 2011 NFL season was pretty eye opening, and since that time, he and his wife have done a lot to bring awareness to the issue in our society.

Since we have almost complete resolution in this case, I have two hopes- that the family have found peace with the situation and that Gail is now in a better place.

That being said...


...she really needed to apply herself and not think her only way to happiness was by becoming someone's' kept wife. But that is what she always looked for, someone to take care of her.
As it was her parents bought her house and she lived off the state, she did nothing to help herself get better, except look for new men.
...I believe she kept a suitcase in her trunk, just in case the guy she was meeting was hot, and I do believe she met this "John" there, but something didn't click. Perhaps he wasn't hot enough for her.

... my first reaction to reading this was "Ugh!"

I now have a much better understanding of why she was unable to find someone. Before we had pegasus's information, there was much speculation here that she simply had set high (possibly unrealistic) standards for the type of man she was willing to date. But now it seems to me that even if she did meet a "hot enough" guy, the chances of him continuing a relationship with her given her situation and motives are not extremely likely.

I'm a few years younger than she was, but I can say those are very unattractive personality characteristics to find in someone I'd be starting to date. (I've met more than a few.) Don't misunderstand, I love to show a date a great time, and a little further down the road spoil my significant other. But going on a first/second date where these kinds of expectations are already put on the table is a quick way to ensure there won't be a third. Personality is important (to me anyway) and if the potential guy wasn't really interested in her personality, but strictly other things, then I'm guessing he would have been looking for someone younger & without kids.

Unfortunately, it seems like her social mindset exacerbated her mental problems. I really wish she'd have listened to her counselor.

Um, let's keep in mind this is one person's view of what Gail was like. To say "she lived off the state" is gross and out of context. For some reason we lose our equilibrium when a single woman with children has an active sex life. Notice the Victorian language of that poster: a "kept wife," she did "nothing to help herself get better, except look for new men." What the hell does that mean? Why she killed herself has little to do with how often or whether she bedded men.

Um, let's keep in mind this is one person's view of what Gail was like. To say "she lived off the state" is gross and out of context. For some reason we lose our equilibrium when a single woman with children has an active sex life. Notice the Victorian language of that poster: a "kept wife," she did "nothing to help herself get better, except look for new men." What the hell does that mean? Why she killed herself has little to do with how often or whether she bedded men.

It's upsetting to see how many people still believe that people who are chronically depressed can simply "snap out of it" if only they made different life choices. It's called mental illness for a reason. Yes the choices we make in life ultimately do affect the quality of the life we lead but the idea that Gail's problems would've dissipated if only she got out of bed in the morning and got herself a job or had more realistic expectations regarding the men she dated is ludicrous.

I'll end it here because I don't see any point in going any further or overstating the obvious but I'll put it this way: for some people getting out of bed in the morning is an accomplishment in enough of itself.

Um, the person knew Gale for many years and was their friend. I didn't at all have a problem with what they posted, and I don't think they were trying to put her down. Nowadays, I think the vast majority of people wouldn't have a problem with a single woman with kids having a sex life. The comment means exactly what it says.

Sure. I don't doubt her intentions either, but the post presented a woman obsessed with men because she "lived off the state." I'm perfectly happy to question friends and relatives' versions of events.

And it's Gail's fault that she stopped seeing the psychiatrist for no good reason. Ain't nobody to blame but Gail for that one.

Stopping visits to a psychiatrist isn't a matter of "blame."

Sorry, but you don't control how long we discuss things on this forum.


I really dislike flame wars and I loathe to start one here but I do feel it's appropriate to say that over the past several years I've found our repartee to have become increasingly unpleasant in nature. At first I was willing to write it off as two forum members having divergent opinions on a number of the cases but I'm not willing to do that any longer. In fact I find 99.9% of our conversations to be of the consistently unpleasant nature. Furthermore, it's probably the main reason why I no longer post on these forums as much as I did around five-six years ago. I still love the show of course but it's gotten to the point where I really can't tolerate the unpleasant nature of our repartee. It borders on and sometimes exceeds what I would designate as flat out rudeness. I guess what I'm saying is that you just cost this forum a long standing member. I'm out.

If someone doesn't want to post on here no problem if they leave. Its not necessary however to announce it publicly as retirement posts don't usually go over too well here. This forum is busier than ever so clearly a lot of people enjoy posting on here an debating and discussing cases.

Lets keep it to discussing the Gail Delano segment.

The friend was not insulting Gail. I am a big advocate for the understanding of mental illness and I greatly sympathize with those struggling. However, sick or well we are all responsible for our actions and choices. If youre an alcoholic/drug addict and get behind the wheel of a car and kill someone, even though you have a disease you ultimately knew right from wrong so you are responsible. If youre in kidney failure (as I know someone who is ) its your responsibility to get to yourself to dialysis.

I can greatly understand the frustration of someone who will not help themselves so Gail's friends post is actually spot on. Also, if Gail is able to go on all these dates and stay up late talking on the phone to some DJ ect then she actually had more than enough energy to just "get out of bed." I am not saying Gail wasnt depressed or didnt have mental health issues. I am saying she made choices. No therapist or pill alone will cure anything without your active participation. Simply ask anyone who is recovering from addiction or mental health issues. Gail was looking for immediate gradification and happiness from a man rather than build it from within herself first. She did not take the therapists advice to do this rather she had excuses to herself.

Again, I am not blaming Gail or downplaying mental illness at all. I think anyone who was or is struggling with mental illness is incredibly brave. Gail had support, she had a therapist and she had the tools to help her overcome this battle however she chose not to help herself. Her belief that a man would save her from her misery might very well be what triggered her to kill herself after a new man did not work out as she had hoped. If Gail had decided to take more active steps in creating happiness within herself with the support of her therapist/family/friends then she probably would never have felt desperate enough to kill herself over a romantic let down.

I really dislike flame wars and I loathe to start one here but I do feel it's appropriate to say that over the past several years I've found our repartee to have become increasingly unpleasant in nature. At first I was willing to write it off as two forum members having divergent opinions on a number of the cases but I'm not willing to do that any longer. In fact I find 99.9% of our conversations to be of the consistently unpleasant nature. Furthermore, it's probably the main reason why I no longer post on these forums as much as I did around five-six years ago. I still love the show of course but it's gotten to the point where I really can't tolerate the unpleasant nature of our repartee. It borders on and sometimes exceeds what I would designate as flat out rudeness. I guess what I'm saying is that you just cost this forum a long standing member. I'm out.

Well, I certainly wouldn't want you to go, but that's your choice. If you are reading this, I'll give you some advice: that "IGNORE" function has worked wonders for me. A ton of threads have now become tolerable again.

I think people are trying to over simplify things with regards to Gail. Which is sad. I think it's sad and disgusting that people actually want to "blame" people who suffer from depression for their choices. It's a lot more complex than that.

Well, I certainly wouldn't want you to go, but that's your choice. If you are reading this, I'll give you some advice: that "IGNORE" function has worked wonders for me. A ton of threads have now become tolerable again.

I think people are trying to over simplify things with regards to Gail. Which is sad. I think it's sad and disgusting that people actually want to "blame" people who suffer from depression for their choices. It's a lot more complex than that.

Wait, there's an ignore button!? omg, thank you!! I never knew that. That will be quite a relief!


I personally wasn't trying to blame her or over simply things. I just meant I can understand her friends frustration with her choices or not trying to help herself. We are not even 100 percent sure what exactly Gail suffered from, maybe her depression was a symptom of another major mental illness. I just meant that as someone who has dealt with friends who refuse to help themselves, it is can be incredibly draining and frustrating. So I can understand where a friend or family member would feel that way. Suicide is incredibly tragic and the fact that she thought her life so worthless is very sad.

Wait, there's an ignore button!? omg, thank you!! I never knew that. That will be quite a relief!

Click the username of the poster you want to ignore, and at their profile page there will be a button/link that says "add user to ignore list". It's worked wonders for me.

And I didn't think you were the one blaming Gail, FWIW.

I've had plenty of online dates. Sometimes the date and I have no chemistry, even when he looks like Jake Gyllenhaal.

I've had plenty of online dates. Sometimes the date and I have no chemistry, even when he looks like Jake Gyllenhaal.


True. Maybe Gail just simply had a type. I have a type of guy I'm attracted to physically, that doesn't mean all guys outside of that "type" are ugly or unattractive. It just means they aren't my type physically. So, maybe it was the same for Gail in the case of the DJ.

I didn't know about that ignore button either. Does it actually work that way? Probably come in handy for some of us. Thanks.

I've had plenty of online dates. Sometimes the date and I have no chemistry, even when he looks like Jake Gyllenhaal.
Yes. I recently had the worst date of my life with someone I met online. Was he terrible looking? Not at all. He was awkward, made terrible jokes, was over an hour late, misleading about how far he was when calling that he was late, presumptuous(thinking there was automatically another set of dates and we were going to be long term. Huge NO)...

Long story short, we didn't click one bit. I'm not saying the DJ was anything like this guy, but I think personality or lack of chemistry might have done it, too. Looks may not have been the only reason Gail wasn't interested.

Well I think in Gail's case it was more looks due to she had been talking to the DJ on the phone for sometime. I think what the friend meant was that she eventually had come to realize what he looked like (maybe someone showed her his picture) and then she wasn't interested in it going any further. Again, that is not to say Gail is shallow maybe he just wasn't her type physically which happens, doesn't mean the DJ was ugly, just not her type physically.

Also, Gail had her own issues so who knows how that played into it too. Most healthy stable people want a healthy stable partner and Gail was far from that at that stage in her life.

Well I think in Gail's case it was more looks due to she had been talking to the DJ on the phone for sometime. I think what the friend meant was that she eventually had come to realize what he looked like (maybe someone showed her his picture) and then she wasn't interested in it going any further. Again, that is not to say Gail is shallow maybe he just wasn't her type physically which happens, doesn't mean the DJ was ugly, just not her type physically.
This, too. You're right they had talked on the phone, I'd forgotten. I agree that this isn't shallow. Someone can just not be "your type." Judging from her personal ad, she was looking for a certain type of man and like most people, had her own preferences. And in this case, they weren't met.

This, too. You're right they had talked on the phone, I'd forgotten. I agree that this isn't shallow. Someone can just not be "your type." Judging from her personal ad, she was looking for a certain type of man and like most people, had her own preferences. And in this case, they weren't met.

Off topic but after watching Catfish a few times, online dating seems terrifying lol. Yeah, I mean I really hate when people say someone is shallow if a person is not their type. Some men like tall,short,brunette or blonde, different body,ethnicity ect. Call me a feminist but I feel when women have a particular type of man they prefer physically they are more quickly labeled shallow. I'm not saying someone should rule out everyone based on looks but people are allowed to have a physical preference. Anyways, since Gail had a lot of issues she was battling, that probably played into her inability to keep love or to find it. Especially how she was emotionally toward the end I dont think it would be possible for her to be in a healthy lasting relationship (without her getting better first)

Off topic but after watching Catfish a few times, online dating seems terrifying lol. Yeah, I mean I really hate when people say someone is shallow if a person is not their type. Some men like tall,short,brunette or blonde, different body,ethnicity ect. Call me a feminist but I feel when women have a particular type of man they prefer physically they are more quickly labeled shallow. I'm not saying someone should rule out everyone based on looks but people are allowed to have a physical preference. Anyways, since Gail had a lot of issues she was battling, that probably played into her inability to keep love or to find it. Especially how she was emotionally toward the end I dont think it would be possible for her to be in a healthy lasting relationship (without her getting better first)
Great post! Women definitely get labeled shallow for voicing their opinions about "type" and it bothers me a lot. Everyone should be allowed their personal preference without being called "picky" or "judgmental." On a side note, online dating just isn't for me. I've given up after trying for a couple of months. Too many times I've talked to someone on there who seems good and then they reveal themselves at the last minute (thankfully before an actual meetup lol), and the whole thing bothers me. You really DON'T know the person on the other side of the computer/phone and how much they may be misrepresenting themselves or misleading you.

Back to Gail, I agree that even if the DJ had met her type, her depression would still have been a major hindrance. He could have treated her like gold and that wouldn't have been enough. She needed serious therapy and a lot of it. It's tragic that she was so deep into depression that she thought killing herself was the best option. I wish she could have gotten the help she needed. Perhaps she thought finding the right man would help her feel better and that's what she seemed to focus on (personal ads, searching, etc.) rather than getting the help she so desperately needed because the antidepressants and therapy she had sought didn't work for her. Just a sad case all around.

Off topic but after watching Catfish a few times, online dating seems terrifying lol. Yeah, I mean I really hate when people say someone is shallow if a person is not their type. Some men like tall,short,brunette or blonde, different body,ethnicity ect. Call me a feminist but I feel when women have a particular type of man they prefer physically they are more quickly labeled shallow. I'm not saying someone should rule out everyone based on looks but people are allowed to have a physical preference. Anyways, since Gail had a lot of issues she was battling, that probably played into her inability to keep love or to find it. Especially how she was emotionally toward the end I dont think it would be possible for her to be in a healthy lasting relationship (without her getting better first)

Well hey, if you have the same type as the celebrity you bear a resemblance to, I think I may have a shot. After all, she married someone who I definitely bear a resemblance to.

that's right, Billy Bob Thornton. :happyface

Well hey, if you have the same type as the celebrity you bear a resemblance to, I think I may have a shot. After all, she married someone who I definitely bear a resemblance to.

that's right, Billy Bob Thornton. :happyface


LMAO! Funny. well, only if we can wear matching viles of blood around our necks :lol: :lol:

I really dislike flame wars and I loathe to start one here but I do feel it's appropriate to say that over the past several years I've found our repartee to have become increasingly unpleasant in nature. At first I was willing to write it off as two forum members having divergent opinions on a number of the cases but I'm not willing to do that any longer. In fact I find 99.9% of our conversations to be of the consistently unpleasant nature. Furthermore, it's probably the main reason why I no longer post on these forums as much as I did around five-six years ago. I still love the show of course but it's gotten to the point where I really can't tolerate the unpleasant nature of our repartee. It borders on and sometimes exceeds what I would designate as flat out rudeness. I guess what I'm saying is that you just cost this forum a long standing member. I'm out.


Just saw this. I really hope you decide to come back. I've always enjoyed your posts.

Call me a feminist but I feel when women have a particular type of man they prefer physically they are more quickly labeled shallow.

Why would "feminist" be an insult? Admit and be proud of it!

Just saw this. I really hope you decide to come back. I've always enjoyed your posts.

Literally just watched the GD segment. I agree, please don't leave

When I first met Gail she was full of life and a fun person to know. She would spend an hour on the phone with me on a daily basis

Were you around when UM came to town to film the segment or/and asked for an interview?

I've had plenty of online dates. Sometimes the date and I have no chemistry, even when he looks like Jake Gyllenhaal.

This is true.. I remember one date I had we went to a place and he got mad I was ignoring him and watching a football game (he scheduled the date not me I figured he'd like sports but he didnt). He was attractive but we had no chemistry and really nothing in common.

I understand how Gail feels. She was just 4 years older than me (maybe it's just me but she looked older to me.. it seems as if nowadays people look younger than their age and back then people looked far older than their age and im not saying I look younger btw lol) ANYWAYS.. It can get lonely and it just gets to a point where you dont know what you are doing wrong. Gail had too many demons she was fighting inside and the fact that she couldnt find "the one" just made matters worse

Interesting that the last man she apparently had a date with "John" was also the name of the truck driver who spotted Gail Delano's missing poster and gave her a ride.

I have not seen this UM on the show and have only read a few paged on this thread and wanted to share a life experience that I think could explain another angle to Gails thinking.

Maybe its different here in England but here goes.

My partners father was caught having an affair after getting the mistress pregnant. His wife told him to leave and that it was over. The father who had told his two sons that he had heavily insured his life so that his kids would not need to worry if he died, later attempted suicide.

Although he was found in time by one of his sons (my partners brother) he was taken to hospital and survived for 3 days. Unfortunately he was an older man (60+ he lied about his age) and he had a heart attack in the hospital and couldn't be saved.

One of the life insurance paid out immediately as his cause of death was labeled as heart attack, this was only a smaller policy so did not amount to much.
The second refused to pay as they claimed it was suicide that caused his demise and they didn't pay out for self inflicted death. Still to this day the company refuse to pay out any money to the children.

Could it be that Gail wanted to make it appear she had been murdered so that her children could receive life insurance money. That is if she even had life insurance. I haven't been able to find out if she did. It's just it looks like she planned this thoroughly, making up a person that would be the last person to see her alive, leaving her car, changing her name, going to different state.

What do you guys think would be worse on a child?

Knowing your mother killed herself?
or
Believing she was murdered and not closure?

Would it not be easier to kill yourself with out been found out than to stage this whole deal?

Just a little thought that I have mulled over while my insomnia is at its worse. Sorry if its been touched upon or if it's totally unrealistic!

Do they pay out if your body is not located after a certain period of time?

I believe Gail did think about other people, she decided it would not be appropriate for her sons to stumble upon her body after she committed suicide. Is that the right thing to do? Not in my opinion. However I've recently seeked help for Depression, Anxiety and OCD and its only when I did so I realised how irrasional my thoughts where. I would think that my family hated me and didnt want me around. Perhaps Gail thought the same. I do have a certain amount of understanding and sympathy for Gail. But I do not believe her actions were the right thing to do.

I also find it very sad how desperate she was to find a man. Her children should have been enough to live for.

I also find it very sad how desperate she was to find a man. Her children should have been enough to live for.

Sex and companionship matter just as much though.

I think someone who is depressed to that extent...they are always looking for the next thing that they think they don't have to fill that void. They struggle to see the things that they do have as a positive and dwell on the negative because they think the negative aspect is the cause for all their problems.

For her at that time it was a husband. And once that gets old they move on to the next thing. If she didn't find the right mate in a matter of a few months she could have been back to square one.

That's why so many need to drugs to cope. The best way to treat this is by a doctor or a professional that can talk to the person to help them understand because it is an illness. blowing someone off or blaming them because you don't understand them or ignoring them makes it worse.

I see your point. Leaving it for an unsuspecting housekeeper wasn't all that much better though. Plus, the hotel may have had to put the room out of order and replace the bed, all of which would have come with considerable costs. The costs and implications of Gail's suicide for many people were enormous.



Her problem wasn't that she couldn't find a man, she couldn't find one that was to her liking: that is, one that was very attractive and could take care of her so she wouldn't have to work. Gail reminds me a lot of Dottie Caylor. Her expectations were very high, in fact, she set the bar so high that it was unattainable for 99.9% of the men out there.



Agreed, thank you. I've mentioned in the past she should have just sucked it up, but no, she had to do what she did and leave her children essentially orphans because she couldn't live the extravagant lifestyle she wanted.

Agree with all this.

WOULD they have replaced the bed, though? Let's be honest. I'm sure people die in hotels all the time (natural causes or suicide). Unless the bed is stained with blood, would they change it? I'm just debating this in my head. Random thought, I know.

I maintain that Gail ran away to kill herself precisely because she didn't want her kids to find her. While it's horrible to burden that on a stranger, it would be an easier pill to swallow (horrible pun not intended) than to burden it on your children, who would undoubtedly blame themselves for what she had done.

Depression is a beast. Unfortunately, none of us can know precisely what was in Gail's head at the time all this happened. I have thought about the life insurance angle as well. There ARE policies out there that will pay out in the event of a suicide, mine being one of them. I think it's more rare than not, but it's out there.

I totally agree with amandab's comment about Gail looking older than her age. She and I are now the same age and I don't believe I would photograph as "old" as she appeared. Maybe it's the style of clothing that's popular today? I have no idea. But I've often pondered that, too. Gail was so young. Yet another reason why her story is sad.

Its hard to fathom what she was thinking. Having known some depressed individuals I've learned that many times nothing can "fix" them. If they don't treat themselves or just try to fill their void with a personal relationship then it usually will fail. Even after treatment sometimes there is nothing one can do.

I'm definitely against suicide. With that said I cannot judge a person for being hopeless and dying heartbroken like that. The Same as I would not just anyone else that did not share my same moral values. That's just not right IMO and a root cause of many of the problems we face in the world. I wish there is something that can be done to help people more. The first thing we have to realize is depression is a real disease of the brain that cannot be overlooked. You cannot just simply say well this person should not have done this because they had a kid or a good job or a nice car etc.

Gail sounds to me like she was a horrible parent. Not being at home with your kids and sleeping around town and not being there to get them up and see them off to school is pretty lame. And then she did the ultimate horrible act by leaving them without parents. I just hope they were put with people that gave them the attention and care they deserved because it's pretty obvious they didn't get that from Gail, she was too busy satisfying her own wants and desires.

Did you go out on dates with Gail? Your last few posts sound like ones written by a spurned lover.

Did you go out on dates with Gail? Your last few posts sound like ones written by a spurned lover.

Considering I was 6 at the time she died, nope, sure didn't.

Well, your insistence on calling her a horrible parent and implying she was a slattern and dreadful person in the face of evidence that she was depressive is creepy. You're saying NYAH NYAH I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

Hey, did anyone see that the Patriots lost to the Broncos last weekend? The Broncos quarterback was from Montana...

...in other words,

https://komincents.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/nothing_to_see_here.jpg

Hey, did anyone see that the Patriots lost to the Broncos last weekend? The Broncos quarterback was from Montana...

...in other words,

https://komincents.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/nothing_to_see_here.jpg
Not to stay off topic but the Eagles beat them too lol. And they suck!

I wanted to emphasize that Gail's love life was not the only contributing factor in her depression. From everything I've heard, she HATED Maine. I don't hate Maine, but I can understand how the lousy weather (cold for 8 months of the year) can dampen a person's spirits.

I had never noticed this until recently, but the segment showed one of the missing persons flyers on Gail, and it speculated that she may have traveled to the southern section of the U.S. (which of course she did, and good thinking on their part, btw). And although it was UM that broke the case, it was also a good idea for them to pepper truck stops and such throughout the U.S. in an attempt to find her. They were on the right track.

I can't help but think a relocation to the South, say Alabama, might have worked wonders for Gail. Of course, no place is perfect and the south has its own set of problems, but I think in this case it might have been a good idea.

Sometimes a person just needs a change of pace. A break from the routine.

The way she flat out lied to her sons about where she was going was just so incredibly wrong.

I guess I've always been somewhat interested in a "mystery within a mystery" about this case: how did Gail get to Alabama? Her car was abandoned in Maine at a restaurant. She obviously had to have gotten a ride to an airport or hitched a ride to Alabama.

I guess I've always been somewhat interested in a "mystery within a mystery" about this case: how did Gail get to Alabama? Her car was abandoned in Maine at a restaurant. She obviously had to have gotten a ride to an airport or hitched a ride to Alabama.

Didn't she fly there? I always assumed she got a cab and paid with cash.

Good question LooksLikeCRicci!! You'd think there'd be some sort of paper trail wouldn't you? She must have had a large supply of cash to get where she was going other than what was found when her abandoned purse was located. She could have hitchhiked, flew, rented a car, taken a greyhound bus or even a train. She used an alias to check into the hotel in Alabama, she must have used the same alias to pay for her ticket, train, car, etc.? Jacqui Stafford was the name she used, did she just make this up or hear it somewhere or knew someone with that name? She could have at least arranged for someone to look after her children or left or mailed a note as to their care and disposal of her belongings/home. she definitely left a lot undone and loose ends, very tragic and sad!

Good question LooksLikeCRicci!! You'd think there'd be some sort of paper trail wouldn't you? She must have had a large supply of cash to get where she was going other than what was found when her abandoned purse was located. She could have hitchhiked, flew, rented a car, taken a greyhound bus or even a train. She used an alias to check into the hotel in Alabama, she must have used the same alias to pay for her ticket, train, car, etc.? Jacqui Stafford was the name she used, did she just make this up or hear it somewhere or knew someone with that name? She could have at least arranged for someone to look after her children or left or mailed a note as to their care and disposal of her belongings/home. she definitely left a lot undone and loose ends, very tragic and sad!

There wasn't any money found in her purse. Even the $5 dollars in emergency money she kept hidden in a secret compartment was missing.

Something that I've noticed when rewatching the segment:

They make a big deal about her car keys being found in the same parking spot where her car was left at the Howard Johnson's. The police towed the car, and a few days later a bus boy found the keys sitting right in the open where her car was originally parked. Where did they come from? Did the cops honestly just miss them? Always found that part kind of strange.

Something that I've noticed when rewatching the segment:

They make a big deal about her car keys being found in the same parking spot where her car was left at the Howard Johnson's. The police towed the car, and a few days later a bus boy found the keys sitting right in the open where her car was originally parked. Where did they come from? Did the cops honestly just miss them? Always found that part kind of strange.

That's a fair point. I'm not sure how they missed them. Maybe someone REALLY wanted that parking spot after they towed the vehicle and ran in right after they got the car out. :lol: :lol:

Something that I've noticed when rewatching the segment:

They make a big deal about her car keys being found in the same parking spot where her car was left at the Howard Johnson's. The police towed the car, and a few days later a bus boy found the keys sitting right in the open where her car was originally parked. Where did they come from? Did the cops honestly just miss them? Always found that part kind of strange.

I often wondered if she concealed them on the vehicle (such as placing them on the tire) and they rolled off when the car was towed.

To me, it is more suggestive of her mindset at the time. Se left the car and the keys as if to say "take it. I don't need it anymore."

If it was not for these forums and this show and other shows i would be like gale Delano I am almost that age still no girlfriend or wife it especially hard when i get in those moods

So... I just rewatched this one. I’m sure it’s been discussed before, but someone humor me: I know it’s believed that she faked a 2.5 hour phone conversation with “John,” but can we be sure that she didn’t actually have a date with John and get stood up? I half-heartedly thought that may have been the straw that broke the camels back...

I reached the same conclusion.

So... I just rewatched this one. I’m sure it’s been discussed before, but someone humor me: I know it’s believed that she faked a 2.5 hour phone conversation with “John,” but can we be sure that she didn’t actually have a date with John and get stood up? I half-heartedly thought that may have been the straw that broke the camels back...

I find this way more likely than faking a 2.5 hour phone call.

I find this way more likely than faking a 2.5 hour phone call.


I agree. Couldn't this be ascertained by looking at her phone bill? I believe phone companies provided printouts of phone calls made. If she never dialed out, no call would be recorded. If she did call somebody (John or someone else), the phone number and duration of the call would be on file with the phone company or on Gail's personal copy of the bill.

If she did call somebody (John or someone else), the phone number and duration of the call would be on file with the phone company or on Gail's personal copy of the bill.

I think you hit the nail on the head here with "or someone else." I wonder if the John date was just a ruse. I don't doubt she was talking to someone for two and a half hours on the phone, but I think it was probably a friend or acquaintance. Sadly, I think Gail's depression was pretty severe at that point and it's likely she was already planning to kill herself. While sometimes suicide can be a little bit more spontaneous, I think Gail was planning this for a while.

The saddest thing is that I think she planned her suicide to make it easier on her kids, yet going missing only to learn the truth in the end probably made it worse. I just always felt really bad for her. She seemed like a nice lady who just was stuck in a rut without the joy she sought.

These stories are hard to write, and newspapers can't spend resources on them, but I'd love to read one about suicide survivors. How are Delano's kids? How did the suicide change them?

Now that I'm close to Gail's age I can say this, she was a very old looking 34 year old.

Now that I'm close to Gail's age I can say this, she was a very old looking 34 year old.

I think it was the fashion at the time...

I think it's more than that. I've made a game out of trying to guess the ages of people in the early seasons and I'm consistently off by a decade or two. I almost wonder if it was exposure to leaded gasoline exhaust or constant cigarette smoke or DDT or something else in the environment.

I watch a lot of 1980s television like St. Elsewhere, Miami Vice, etc. One topic that comes up rather frequently is how younger people of the past looked much more mature than they actually were. The farther you go back, the more extreme it gets. Recent studies have suggested that adolescence now extends to age twenty-five (or beyond for some). This is gauged by the development of an individual's frontal lobe. Juxtapose these ideas with the idea that thousands of years ago we married our daughters off as pre-teens and thirty was a ripe-old age in our ancient history.

Correlation is not causation?
-Cigarette smoking was near ubiquitous in the 80's: hospitals, airplanes, etc.

-The U.S. government heavily marketed milk and dairy to 80's and 90's kids. Now we know that the milk was laced with bovine somatotropin, a growth hormone, since 1994.

-People had to mature sooner when life wasn't permeated with abundant cheap energy across the economic spectrum. Not to mention the life-improving technologies that cheap hydrocarbons enabled.

-Mediated reality has become a serious addiction among first world nations. My personal opinion: Technology makes children of men. The portable pocket pc (smart phone) has severely stunted sociological and emotional growth. If ever a 21st century, perverted Lockian definition of "property" needed to be applied, it does so here. They literally can't function with out them.

I'm not suggesting that these are actual causes, but just some thoughts that have sprung to mind about this topic.

One final thought: I was born in 1982 and identify the 80s as my childhood. Most people my age identify the 90s as their childhood. I have heard this referred to as Xillenial. Simply put, everybody's different, but every generation is different, too.

So... I just rewatched this one. I’m sure it’s been discussed before, but someone humor me: I know it’s believed that she faked a 2.5 hour phone conversation with “John,” but can we be sure that she didn’t actually have a date with John and get stood up? I half-heartedly thought that may have been the straw that broke the camels back...

That's a possibility but the lengths she went to commit suicide though? I'm certain that had to be pre-planned.

Also I'm confused a bit, the trucker John who said he rode with Gail, it seemed as though that this was dismissed in the update. They said she drove to the restaurant, discarded her belongings and flew to Alabama.

Most of what John said seemed to be on the mark I thought.

I think it was the fashion at the time...

Fashion was more conservative back then, which did indeed make some people seem older. For Gail Delano, we only got to see a few pictures in the UM segment. Also, I remember one or two of them being grainy. Maybe she looked closer to 35 in person than in the pictures.

Ok. So if you looked old as the hills in the 1980s, you were actually young, you just looked old. Got it. Suddenly I’m questioning if Aunt Bee was over 18

Fashion was more conservative back then, which did indeed make some people seem older. For Gail Delano, we only got to see a few pictures in the UM segment. Also, I remember one or two of them being grainy. Maybe she looked closer to 35 in person than in the pictures.

Comparable to Mary Ann Perez. She was only 36 when she disappeared...

https://unsolved.com/wp-content/uploads/existing/mis_mary_ann_perez1.jpg

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/unsolvedmysteries/images/3/38/Gail_DeLano.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/340?cb=20170122012853

Both Mary Ann and Gail got married and already started having babies while in their teens. During those times, that may not have been considered uncommon. But kids are going to age you no matter how old you are. So maybe they're to blame?

I think it is the combination of many things. Unhealthy lifestyles (less exercise, lots of fatty foods, smoking, etc.), fashion that made people look older (haircuts and a lot of god-awful 80s designs), taking better care of skin, and the media of the day (pictures, videos, etc.).

I look at pictures of some of my relatives and in many cases they look way older than they were. Part of that I believe is that picture and video quality weren't as good, so naturally people look a little older because the photos look more dated. I think there is more of an emphasis now on looking younger and more fit for many people. There is a big increase in taking better care of our skin through the use of sunscreen and other products, so people don't look as aged. People are living healthier now in many ways (even though obesity is up) so I think that has a lot to do with it.

As for Gail specifically, she suffered from depression. That is a two-fold gut punch. First of all, the stress of living with depression gets you down and that stress can have physical effects which make you look and feel older. In many cases, it also takes away the desire to do healthy things like exercise and take care of yourself, and that can start a downward spiral. Gail looked older to me and I contribute it to a combination of the time and of her situation.

Both Mary Ann and Gail got married and already started having babies while in their teens. During those times, that may not have been considered uncommon. But kids are going to age you no matter how old you are. So maybe they're to blame?

In some ways kids keep you young, but it so many other ways, yes -- they make you feel prematurely old. :lol: I do agree that as a young single mother, it's likely that doing so much to provide for her kids probably did suck the life out of her emotionally. She was still a young woman but obviously a very lonely one.

She was still a young woman but obviously a very lonely one.

Her journal entry that's read during the segment made it sound like she was 34 going on 70. Just the fact that she was so desperate to find someone before it was "too late," yet she was only 34. Just adds another layer of sadness that must not have helped her depression. She still had so many years left.

Honestly one of the saddest stories to air on UM in my opinion. I can't begin to imagine the pain she was in. Hopefully her family has been able to deal with Gail's decisions as best as possible.

Her journal entry that's read during the segment made it sound like she was 34 going on 70. Just the fact that she was so desperate to find someone before it was "too late," yet she was only 34. Just adds another layer of sadness that must not have helped her depression. She still had so many years left.

Honestly one of the saddest stories to air on UM in my opinion. I can't begin to imagine the pain she was in. Hopefully her family has been able to deal with Gail's decisions as best as possible.

^^^ Both of these x 100.

Just a horribly sad story. Like dynoguy said, she was only 34. Many people are just getting married or thinking about having kids at that point now days. That is so young. It's too bad she couldn't have gotten some counseling and/or medication to deal with her depression (I'm assuming she didn't). Her kids were older too, so it wasn't like having two little kids would be a deterrent to dating her. I feel like this would be different today, as there is so much less of a stigma with mental health. Even though we have a long way to go on mental health care, it is so much more common place that it's more likely people will seek help now or have access to resources.

I guess the only good part is she is free of her demons. I too hope her family has found peace from this. :(

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/238613232/tim-a-monfort

One of her sons passed in 2021, reading between the lines in the obituary can't help but wonder if he went the same way.

Wow, Gail's mom is still with us. Looking to be around 100 if close in age to her husband.

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/238613232/tim-a-monfort

One of her sons passed in 2021, reading between the lines in the obituary can't help but wonder if he went the same way.

I read the obituary - what males you think he died the same way as his mom?

I read the obituary - what males you think he died the same way as his mom?

Didn't think he could make friends, no service per his request being the big one though.

Didn't think he could make friends, no service per his request being the big one though.

To add to the speculation, and of course that's all it is, there's another glaring sign:

If he died from sickness, there is usually mention of that in an obituary, or at least a request for donations to a charity related to the disease. No mention of sickness + young age + family mental illness history + the other points mentioned by EighthStreet = a very strong chance of suicide.

Granted, in many cases of suicide, you often see requests for donations to mental health charities, but perhaps both him and/or his family just didn't want to advertise any hints toward suicide in the obit. He sounded like a private person, so likely didn't want to call any added attention to himself.

Again, all speculation, but having read thousands of obituaries over decades for my job, I have lots of experience with this and can pick up on what's being said based on what's not being said!

I wonder now whether "John" existed at all. All of her friends and family said she was very secretive about him and this was very unusual.

I don't believe he existed at all. Either Gail made him and their date up to hide her real plans for that day, or he was a sad figment of an imagination that had become warped by loneliness and depression.

1. The Unsolved Wiki, while not definitive, does say her son killed himself.

2. I always find it....odd that people create and or post still shots from Unsolved Mysteries on that online obit site.

3. I just saw this segment the other day and had a realization -- in the update they said that the police thought she got on a plane the day she abandoned her car and flew to Alabama. So I guess that trucker guy was another one of those mistaken Unsolved Mysteries eyewitnesses then huh?

So I guess that trucker guy was another one of those mistaken Unsolved Mysteries eyewitnesses then huh?

Apparently, that happens a lot with witnesses on this show? Like the lady who swore she saw Dede Rosenthal on two separate occasions at a biker bar, even though her maintenance man later told the authorities he buried her body two days after killing her.

I just read the entire 11 page thread and found the discussion about Gail's state of mental health to be very helpful in understanding her state of mind at the time of her suicide.

One of the ongoing debates in the thread has been the supposed 2.5 hour call with John before she disappeared. It's been suggested that she couldn't have talked into the phone that long without getting a blaring dial tone. But in those days if you simply unplugged the cord from the phone, the phone would be dead and you could certainly pretend to be talking on it with no one the wiser.

"John" brought up 2 unanswered questions: was Gail truly on the phone pretending for 2.5 hours or was she talking to someone real? Did Gail really met John, it didn't go well, and that was the final push to take her life or did he ever exist at all? I don't think we can ever definitively answer those questions.

My own theory after seeing the segment as it aired, and dozens of times since, and reading the discussion, is that Gail was so incapacitated by depression that her actions were hard for anyone else to fully understand. I think she invented the final John guy and had planned to take her own life for some time. I believe she was thinking about her family and not wanting her children to discover her body or know what she did. In her mind, it was easier if they never knew what happened and assumed she was a murder victim. If not for Unsolved Mysteries, that's exactly what would have happened.

In terms of the truck driver, John, I think we all recognize after all these years of watching the show that witnesses have confirmation bias. They want to help and sincerely think they saw the victim, but in reality they did not.

Thank you to the posters in the thread who shared their own experiences with mental illness. It was very helpful.

I just read the entire 11 page thread and found the discussion about Gail's state of mental health to be very helpful in understanding her state of mind at the time of her suicide.

One of the ongoing debates in the thread has been the supposed 2.5 hour call with John before she disappeared. It's been suggested that she couldn't have talked into the phone that long without getting a blaring dial tone. But in those days if you simply unplugged the cord from the phone, the phone would be dead and you could certainly pretend to be talking on it with no one the wiser.

"John" brought up 2 unanswered questions: was Gail truly on the phone pretending for 2.5 hours or was she talking to someone real? Did Gail really met John, it didn't go well, and that was the final push to take her life or did he ever exist at all? I don't think we can ever definitively answer those questions.

My own theory after seeing the segment as it aired, and dozens of times since, and reading the discussion, is that Gail was so incapacitated by depression that her actions were hard for anyone else to fully understand. I think she invented the final John guy and had planned to take her own life for some time. I believe she was thinking about her family and not wanting her children to discover her body or know what she did. In her mind, it was easier if they never knew what happened and assumed she was a murder victim. If not for Unsolved Mysteries, that's exactly what would have happened.

In terms of the truck driver, John, I think we all recognize after all these years of watching the show that witnesses have confirmation bias. They want to help and sincerely think they saw the victim, but in reality they did not.

Thank you to the posters in the thread who shared their own experiences with mental illness. It was very helpful.


So you think she was just pretending to be on the phone with someone the night before her disappearance? Her sons said she was talking to someone. And seemed excited about it.

I always thought she may have genuinely had a date that night but got stood up, and when she did that was kind of the last straw that caused her to go off and do what she did.

But I guess its possible she may have made him up. Imagine if she did have a date who stood her up and caused her to do that though, I bet he feels pretty awful if she did. May be why no one ever admitted to being her date that night.

This woman was so self absorbed. I can't even watch the segment anymore due to it making me so frustrated.

So you think she was just pretending to be on the phone with someone the night before her disappearance? Her sons said she was talking to someone. And seemed excited about it.

I do think she was pretending, we only have so much information from the re-enactment, which may/may not been accurate. She could have taken the phone into the other room and paused the act for a while and her sons assumed "John" was talking. Personally, I think the phone call was a set up for her cover story of a date the next day. But she didn't need to do that either. Ultimately, there really isn't evidence for either theory, it's just speculation.

Imagining that Gail was chatting with no one on the phone is just so heartbreaking. I'd like to think that, at the very least, she was on one of those "love lines" that was popular back in the day (but, on the other hand, if she had been, the charges would have appeared on her phone bill).

I read the obituary - what males you think he died the same way as his mom?

COVID was also in full force still in Sept 2021. Could be he wanted to protect people from getting sick. He very well could have died from COVID.

COVID was also in full force still in Sept 2021. Could be he wanted to protect people from getting sick. He very well could have died from COVID.

There are a lot of................let's say, died suddenly cases these days. It used to generally be a code word for suicide. Now, not so much anymore. Because since 2021 there have been people dying suddenly who were perfectly healthy. I will leave it at this, that it isn't COVID that has ever killed anyone suddenly. My first thought reading his obituary is suicide, or the fact that he is dying in the same manner that many otherwise healthy people are dying these days in their 40s and 50s.

I know a depressed and suicidal person is not going to think clearly, but I do have to say, Gail was 34, had two kids and had a lot of life to live. This wasn't a woman pushing 40 who never had the blessing of having children. She had them, she was probably just not great with men. That could change though, but to end your life over it sounds way premature and yes, selfish. And the manner where it was done leaving her parents and kids to suffer? Ouch.

I know a depressed and suicidal person is not going to think clearly, but I do have to say, Gail was 34, had two kids and had a lot of life to live. This wasn't a woman pushing 40 who never had the blessing of having children. She had them, she was probably just not great with men. That could change though, but to end your life over it sounds way premature and yes, selfish. And the manner where it was done leaving her parents and kids to suffer? Ouch.

"Just not great with men"? Riiiiiight.

Ending your life is "premature" and "selfish"?

Do you know anything about depression?

"Just not great with men"? Riiiiiight.

Ending your life is "premature" and "selfish"?

Do you know anything about depression?

She was divorced twice. By the age of 34. There has to be an honest assessment of yourself that you are at fault for some of this. That being said, she had two children out of it, there was certainly something to live for. And 34 years old is miles away from the end of your life. You can make positive changes and your third marriage can last 50 years. I can't imagine it did anything good for her sons. I know plenty about depression, but there is a sure fire way to ensure you will NEVER get better, and that is suicide. There is depression and there is suicide. Two very different things and she did not have to leave her sons behind like that. And to top it all off make them think their mother was possibly murdered............or even still alive! The pain her family must have endured I can't imagine.

Severely depressed people often think that they’re a burden on their loved ones and that said loved ones would be “better off” without them.

For that reason (and because I’ve had those feelings myself a few times), I tend to cut Gail a lot of slack for her actions. She probably could have been helped with treatment, but I don’t think that such treatment was easy to find in small-town Maine in the mid-1980s.

How could Gail, in the midst of crushing depression, have the mental faculties to have a 2.5 hour imaginary phone conversation?

Has anyone here been able to do that? Anyone?

Anyone?

If Gail made up John, I dare say she had more than just depression going on. Probably hallucinations or delusions. She “made him up” well enough to actually feel better and happy for a while, but depressed people are usually incapable of that.

People who are feeling “better” from depression sometimes kill themselves after some event that, while upsetting, is not devastating. I always thought John was real, stood her up, and she became determined to kill herself and not let anything or anyone stop her.

Or that maybe he dumped her and the “I’m going out with John” was a ruse to make her get away. Either way I believe he was real.

Or that maybe he dumped her and the “I’m going out with John” was a ruse to make her get away. Either way I believe he was real.

I agree. Maybe that phone call was a breakup call?

I know a depressed and suicidal person is not going to think clearly, but I do have to say, Gail was 34, had two kids and had a lot of life to live. This wasn't a woman pushing 40 who never had the blessing of having children. ....

Dude.

Self-absorption may be a symptom of depression, but excessive self-absorption can also lead to depression. Who knows which came first for Gail, but for the sake of her children, I choose to be pissed off at the "me me me" aspect of her personality. Not sorry. If you don't like how I feel about it, that's fine. You have your thoughts, I have mine. Neither are correct; they're just feelings.

Dude.

Hey man, it isn't wrong. The damage of suicide is always forgotten by the loved ones remaining. They become the victims. Gail did not have to do what she did. And certainly not in the manner she did. I feel similar about Alex Cooper. Only he didn't kill himself. But he left his family based on a crime he was never charged with from his past. Nor was he ever going to be charged with it. You can't tell me the truth isn't better than his option. Just like Gail being there for her sons is better than her being dead!

Hey man, it isn't wrong. The damage of suicide is always forgotten by the loved ones remaining. They become the victims. Gail did not have to do what she did. And certainly not in the manner she did. I feel similar about Alex Cooper. Only he didn't kill himself. But he left his family based on a crime he was never charged with from his past. Nor was he ever going to be charged with it. You can't tell me the truth isn't better than his option. Just like Gail being there for her sons is better than her being dead!

My comment was actually directed at the suggestion that suicide might be understandable if she was a pitiful old childless middle aged woman, haha

Depression can hit you at any age. But it always strikes me that she was just 34 years old and somehow felt she was this over the hill spinster who was in danger of being alone forever. She wasn’t exactly ready to collect social security or move in to a retirement home.

Depression can hit you at any age. But it always strikes me that she was just 34 years old and somehow felt she was this over the hill spinster who was in danger of being alone forever. She wasn’t exactly ready to collect social security or move in to a retirement home.

My thought too. Some women get married and have their first kid at 34. She at least had that and the prospect of maybe having grandkids even in her 40s.

My comment was actually directed at the suggestion that suicide might be understandable if she was a pitiful old childless middle aged woman, haha

Oh I see, haha, no, obviously not that either. Never understandable to do that. There is always victims you leave behind.

I always liked the Gail DeLano segment - the location, scary music, the hotel restaurant, the mystery of it all.

Suicide is both intelligible and not intelligible. Has anyone talked to a person who survived suicide? The depression and the sense of helplessness are so great that you are unreachable. Thoughts of children, spouses, lovers -- gone. A suicide is as much a victim as the children, spouses, and lovers left behind. It's an illness.

Have some compassion, for god's sake.

She was divorced twice. By the age of 34. There has to be an honest assessment of yourself that you are at fault for some of this. That being said, she had two children out of it, there was certainly something to live for. And 34 years old is miles away from the end of your life. You can make positive changes and your third marriage can last 50 years. I can't imagine it did anything good for her sons. I know plenty about depression, but there is a sure fire way to ensure you will NEVER get better, and that is suicide. There is depression and there is suicide. Two very different things and she did not have to leave her sons behind like that. And to top it all off make them think their mother was possibly murdered............or even still alive! The pain her family must have endured I can't imagine.

The point is, no, you imagine that nothing is worth living for. It doesn't take much imagination to put yourself in this person's mind.

The point is, no, you imagine that nothing is worth living for. It doesn't take much imagination to put yourself in this person's mind.

Right now Gail is no longer a victim. Her family is and will be forever. That's the ripple effect with suicide, it leaves behind victims. I have plenty of compassion for a person who is depressed, but I draw the line at suicide. That is not a selfless thing to do. How do you ever get better if you are dead? She had responsibilities, she had sons, she still had parents. And to top it off the manner in how Gail did it was just selfish. Intentionally overdosing on drugs with a note left behind is tragic, but at least your family can start grieving, as bad as that is. But not knowing what happened to her only to find out she purposely left it vague and open ended? Nah.

Right now Gail is no longer a victim. Her family is and will be forever. That's the ripple effect with suicide, it leaves behind victims. I have plenty of compassion for a person who is depressed, but I draw the line at suicide. That is not a selfless thing to do. How do you ever get better if you are dead? She had responsibilities, she had sons, she still had parents. And to top it off the manner in how Gail did it was just selfish. Intentionally overdosing on drugs with a note left behind is tragic, but at least your family can start grieving, as bad as that is. But not knowing what happened to her only to find out she purposely left it vague and open ended? Nah.

We're not going to agree. You think it's selfish, most clinicians will tell you it's an illness. So we'll leave it here.

Right now Gail is no longer a victim. Her family is and will be forever. That's the ripple effect with suicide, it leaves behind victims. I have plenty of compassion for a person who is depressed, but I draw the line at suicide. That is not a selfless thing to do. How do you ever get better if you are dead? She had responsibilities, she had sons, she still had parents. And to top it off the manner in how Gail did it was just selfish. Intentionally overdosing on drugs with a note left behind is tragic, but at least your family can start grieving, as bad as that is. But not knowing what happened to her only to find out she purposely left it vague and open ended? Nah.

You don't know the meaning of the word compassion. Shame on you.

You don't know the meaning of the word compassion. Shame on you.

Who Gail left behind is who we all should have had compassion for. She did the worst possible thing she could have done and even then didn't even leave a note to at least give her family the chance of closure. Sorry, I don't think the woman was a good mother or person.

We're not going to agree. You think it's selfish, most clinicians will tell you it's an illness. So we'll leave it here.

In Canada there is something called MAID. It stands for Medical Assistance In Dying. The way this is being pushed on people is actually quite horrific, and these are doctors doing this. So take that any way you'd like as to how they draft it as being an illness. There is still a choice to be made, you act as if someone going through hard times can't still make a choice.

Who Gail left behind is who we all should have had compassion for. She did the worst possible thing she could have done and even then didn't even leave a note to at least give her family the chance of closure. Sorry, I don't think the woman was a good mother or person.

In Canada there is something called MAID. It stands for Medical Assistance In Dying. The way this is being pushed on people is actually quite horrific, and these are doctors doing this. So take that any way you'd like as to how they draft it as being an illness. There is still a choice to be made, you act as if someone going through hard times can't still make a choice.


People going through hard times do not make sane, rational choices. Especially if they’re in a deep depression like Gail. I don’t know why this is so difficult for you to understand.

Reading this thread made me think of poor Anthony Bourdain. Too depressed to realize how many people loved him. Too depressed to see he was a decent guy. That was why he killed himself.

I also thought of poor Ian Curtis. Who knows what he could have done had he not killed himself. But, he was taking meds for his epilepsy, which were pretty much a shot in the dark back then. His mental health suffered greatly and, again, when he killed himself, he was not in his right mind.

So, it’s not like Gail was fine and just decided to kill herself anyway. She was incapable of doing the *right* thing when it mattered most. Do I think it was a waste? Yes. Doesn’t mean I don’t understand nor have compassion for her. Also doesn’t mean I can’t have compassion for her surviving family as well. Sad situation all the way around.

As for the Canadians and their MAID, that’s what happens when the government gives out a “free” service; they ration it. Health care included. Shame, really. You all get taxed up the wazoo and they (government of Canada) would still rather see you dead than have you drain the system. Tsk tsk tsk.

But really, that’s neither here nor there when it comes to understanding what Gail was going through.

People going through hard times do not make sane, rational choices. Especially if they’re in a deep depression like Gail. I don’t know why this is so difficult for you to understand.

Reading this thread made me think of poor Anthony Bourdain. Too depressed to realize how many people loved him. Too depressed to see he was a decent guy. That was why he killed himself.

I also thought of poor Ian Curtis. Who knows what he could have done had he not killed himself. But, he was taking meds for his epilepsy, which were pretty much a shot in the dark back then. His mental health suffered greatly and, again, when he killed himself, he was not in his right mind.

So, it’s not like Gail was fine and just decided to kill herself anyway. She was incapable of doing the *right* thing when it mattered most. Do I think it was a waste? Yes. Doesn’t mean I don’t understand nor have compassion for her. Also doesn’t mean I can’t have compassion for her surviving family as well. Sad situation all the way around.

As for the Canadians and their MAID, that’s what happens when the government gives out a “free” service; they ration it. Health care included. Shame, really. You all get taxed up the wazoo and they (government of Canada) would still rather see you dead than have you drain the system. Tsk tsk tsk.

But really, that’s neither here nor there when it comes to understanding what Gail was going through.

Booming post.

Do we actually know how Gail ended up Wiscasset, Maine? Everything I can find indicates that she was originally from Long Island, NY, which would explain why she wasn't too enthralled by social opportunities in rural Maine. Were one of her ex-husbands from Maine and she moved there with him and was trapped when they divorced? Couldn't take the kids out of state? What was going on?

This case always intrigued me because I sympathized with Gail. My first job out of college was in Rockland, Maine. My dating options were sparse and it was really hard to meet anyone. Mainers are also not known for their willingness to accept outsiders (which may have also created issues for Gail). Once I realized that staying meant risking a life of solitude, I packed up and left. It's sad that Gail either or couldn't make the same decision.

I agree. There is no way I would commit suicide and leave my children like that. She was very selfish, the police not identifying her for two years. I can't imagine what her family went through. She also said she wouldn't date men who were overweight, and not handsome. If she had expanded her search to ordinary men she might have found the happiness she wanted. (If a man said he didn't want to date a fat, ugly woman he would be run out of the country). Anyway, there was her children to consider.

I agree. There is no way I would commit suicide and leave my children like that. She was very selfish, the police not identifying her for two years. I can't imagine what her family went through. She also said she wouldn't date men who were overweight, and not handsome. If she had expanded her search to ordinary men she might have found the happiness she wanted. (If a man said he didn't want to date a fat, ugly woman he would be run out of the country). Anyway, there was her children to consider.

Thank you for the sparkling insights. I especially appreciate how you plugged your eyes and ignored every person in this thread explaining how depression is illness. Wondering why a person with depression won't consider her children is like asking an amputee to consider running for their health.

Thank you. I haven't plugged my eyes on anything. I have dealt with severe depression all my life and have pulled myself up many times. I had my children to think of and and the rest of my family and I could not do that to them. At least I didn't run around with every man in town and leave my children to be raised by my parents. These are my children and I would protect them with all I have. There is help out there and you have to help yourself some of the time. I'm living proof.

I agree 100%.

Thank you. I haven't plugged my eyes on anything. I have dealt with severe depression all my life and have pulled myself up many times. I had my children to think of and and the rest of my family and I could not do that to them. At least I didn't run around with every man in town and leave my children to be raised by my parents. These are my children and I would protect them with all I have. There is help out there and you have to help yourself some of the time. I'm living proof.

I'm quite happy you have the will to stay alive. The point of the kind of depression that leads to suicide is the degree to which it acts like a curtain: when it comes down you think of nothing and no one else. But you keep on acting as if you have empathy.

"Run around" -- LOL. What are you, a 19th century schoolmarm?

I'm still not 100% convinced that she made up this man who she was going to meet at the Howard Johnson's.

I'm not either. I think John either stood her up, or he did show up, but made up some stupid excuse on why he couldn't stay. Either way, for Gail, it was just the final straw as it just proved to her how unlovable and pathetic she was. In her mind, the pain was just too great to continue on. However, she didn't want to traumatize her sons and family, so she decided to make it look like a kidnapping.

My guess is she got to the nearest airport and took the first flight out, which was for Mobile. Back then, you could do cash and didn't need an ID. We know the rest.

As a person who suffers from clinical depression and anxiety, the folks blaming her don't get it. You're trying to put logic where there is no logic. We essentially have a neurotransmitter deficiency where things are essentially amplified. It's like you're in a deep, dark well, and no matter how hard you climb, it's always 1 step forward and two steps back without proper medication and professional help. Until you can experience that, you won't ever get it.

So... I just rewatched this one. I’m sure it’s been discussed before, but someone humor me: I know it’s believed that she faked a 2.5 hour phone conversation with “John,” but can we be sure that she didn’t actually have a date with John and get stood up? I half-heartedly thought that may have been the straw that broke the camels back...

I don't think she faked the call. Something happened w/ John, i.e. they didn't click when they met, he stood her up, whatever. Her date with John somehow was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I think if it was a faked call, UM would have said that. Even back in the 80s, you could check a person's phone line for in and out calls. I'm guessing the police figured out the deal w/ John and/or the call.

I'm re-watching UM from the beginning and am still early in Season 1. I just re-watched the Gail Delano segment for the first time in years and found the following interesting:

-UM never touches on the validity of the phone call, which is odd because the phone call itself is pretty mysterious. Did she fake it? Was she actually talking to a real guy, but he was one who she didn't click with so she re-invented him as "John?"

-The very start of the segment has music that is almost happy-sounding; I nearly thought it was a lost loves story. Turned out to be one of the darker cases in early UM, though.

-As another poster recently mentioned, was it ever explained why she was living in Maine? They quoted her letters saying "Maine always brings out the worst in me." I can't think of a worse place for a single person on the dating scene than a rural area, so I'm curious why she was there and if she had considered moving.

-I had forgotten about the part with the radio DJ. She seemed so desperate for someone to talk to.

Thank you. I haven't plugged my eyes on anything. I have dealt with severe depression all my life and have pulled myself up many times. I had my children to think of and and the rest of my family and I could not do that to them. At least I didn't run around with every man in town and leave my children to be raised by my parents. These are my children and I would protect them with all I have. There is help out there and you have to help yourself some of the time. I'm living proof.

Agreed. I see a divide here on this thread and if I were to guess the thing that separates one post from the other it is the ones who have children. Just a hunch here, but the ones who sympathize with Gail seem to be the ones without children and the ones who think she was selfish seem to be the ones who do have children, me included. Because you have so much more to think about than yourself at this point, it is literally your job to raise your children, you signed up for it. It doesn't look like her suicide helped her sons that much. One of them died in 2021 and I don't know much about him but that doesn't sound like a very uplifting obituary even reading it. Who knows the kind of impact his mom's suicide had on him but can you imagine living your whole life knowing that your own mother would rather die than to be living with you? How do people not think of the astronomical impact this has on children/family? That's why you never do what Gail did. The ripple effect is too big.



As for the Canadians and their MAID, that’s what happens when the government gives out a “free” service; they ration it. Health care included. Shame, really. You all get taxed up the wazoo and they (government of Canada) would still rather see you dead than have you drain the system. Tsk tsk tsk.

But really, that’s neither here nor there when it comes to understanding what Gail was going through.

In 2024 if Gail was living in Canada there would have been doctors encouraging her to commit suicide. That should tell us everything we need to know about our society today, but she'd have a lot of bad advice today and wouldn't be better off with the people around her. Still should have embraced her sons more and had an "Us vs. the world" mentality.

I've a Canadian friend who just two days ago praised MAID because it provides greater availability of treatment for suicidality among those whose affliction is treatable. He also said MAID dignifies the epidemic levels of elderly suicide.

As for children vs. children...we keep circling around this, but suicide is a part of depression. A curtain comes down which keeps you from even thinking about your children.

I've a Canadian friend who just two days ago praised MAID because it provides greater availability of treatment for suicidality among those whose affliction is treatable. He also said MAID dignifies the epidemic levels of elderly suicide.

As for children vs. children...we keep circling around this, but suicide is a part of depression. A curtain comes down which keeps you from even thinking about your children.

That friend is crazy. MAID is the 6th leading cause of death in Canada. A good friend of ours had her mother die - she was in her 80s - and she wasn't even informed that they did this to her. None of the family was. What kind of evil doctor would agree to kill an elderly woman who doesn't want to inform her family about it (she was close to them but she knew they wouldn't agree with what she did). Anyway.............

One thing that will guarantee you never get out of depression is to kill yourself. You lose your hope right there. And the trickle down effect that Gail and so many others cause because of this is traumatizing. You act as if they do not have a choice but to off themselves. There is always hope and always a choice. Gail did not make the right one.

That friend is crazy. MAID is the 6th leading cause of death in Canada. A good friend of ours had her mother die - she was in her 80s - and she wasn't even informed that they did this to her. None of the family was. What kind of evil doctor would agree to kill an elderly woman who doesn't want to inform her family about it (she was close to them but she knew they wouldn't agree with what she did). Anyway.............

A woman who concludes she has reached the end of her life and wants to die but her family won't let her? I'd say she talked to the right doctor. You yourself admit the family wouldn't agree. It's her body, her fate. If she's of sound mind, it's her decision.

A woman who concludes she has reached the end of her life and wants to die but her family won't let her? I'd say she talked to the right doctor. You yourself admit the family wouldn't agree. It's her body, her fate. If she's of sound mind, it's her decision.

I think I said it earlier in this thread and I will say it again but there are times when I can almost guarantee a poster doesn't have children just by the things they say.

Believe me, this friend of ours I am talking about, it had a huge impact on her and her family. Her children never said goodbye to their grandmother. She never said goodbye to her mother. And you are left with that hanging over you for probably a very long time. You have a really warped sense of the sanctity of life there dude. It's creepy.

As if children guaranteed empathy. I can tell by your posts.

The "sanctity of life" (what a phrase...) also means knowing when you're old and your life sucks so badly you want to end it as a sentient human being.

In 2024 if Gail was living in Canada there would have been doctors encouraging her to commit suicide. That should tell us everything we need to know about our society today, but she'd have a lot of bad advice today and wouldn't be better off with the people around her. Still should have embraced her sons more and had an "Us vs. the world" mentality.

Actually, no. It doesn't tell "us" everything "we" need to know. It tells ME everything I need to know about Canadian society. And it should tell YOU everything YOU need to know about your people; much higher price is put on money than on human life.

If Gail had been living in Canada, she probably wouldn't have hung on for as long as she did. And not because of MAID either. I know a lot of Maine isn't anything to brag about, but even I know one could do a lot worse.

And you still think Gail should have made a more logical decision, given the mental state she was in. Nope. Not gonna get it. Thick as a brick. Typical Canadian. :rolleyes:

If this thread has taught us anything, it's that it's acceptable to be a selfish, self-absorbed, depressed woman, and that it's perfectly forgivable to ditch your children and leave them without a mother because, hey, depression and she couldn't find the slim man of her dreams to make all her problems go away.

(Yes, people in her mindset aren't thinking rationally. It doesn't mean that I can't be angry at the situation.)

I just want to know if John was a real guy who stood her up or not.

If this thread has taught us anything, it's that it's acceptable to be a selfish, self-absorbed, depressed woman, and that it's perfectly forgivable to ditch your children and leave them without a mother because, hey, depression and she couldn't find the slim man of her dreams to make all her problems go away.

(Yes, people in her mindset aren't thinking rationally. It doesn't mean that I can't be angry at the situation.)

This thread also demonstrates that some posters will deliberately misread posts for the sake of looking tough.

As if children guaranteed empathy. I can tell by your posts.

The "sanctity of life" (what a phrase...) also means knowing when you're old and your life sucks so badly you want to end it as a sentient human being.

It means you aren't able to just think about yourself if you have children.

Actually, no. It doesn't tell "us" everything "we" need to know. It tells ME everything I need to know about Canadian society. And it should tell YOU everything YOU need to know about your people; much higher price is put on money than on human life.

If Gail had been living in Canada, she probably wouldn't have hung on for as long as she did. And not because of MAID either. I know a lot of Maine isn't anything to brag about, but even I know one could do a lot worse.

And you still think Gail should have made a more logical decision, given the mental state she was in. Nope. Not gonna get it. Thick as a brick. Typical Canadian. :rolleyes:

I think you are trying to convince me of something I already agree with you on. There are a couple of posters on here you probably should be responding to instead of me. I am not the one who agrees with suicide.

If this thread has taught us anything, it's that it's acceptable to be a selfish, self-absorbed, depressed woman, and that it's perfectly forgivable to ditch your children and leave them without a mother because, hey, depression and she couldn't find the slim man of her dreams to make all her problems go away.

(Yes, people in her mindset aren't thinking rationally. It doesn't mean that I can't be angry at the situation.)

Seems that way doesn't it?

It means you aren't able to just think about yourself if you have children.

My best friends, relatives, and nieces know what I think, thanks.

My best friends, relatives, and nieces know what I think, thanks.

And even though they aren't your offspring they would be devastated if you decided to end your life.

And even though they aren't your offspring they would be devastated if you decided to end your life.

Please don't presume to speak for them and me. Were I to kill myself they would know and understand but also grieve. Because life is more complex than your answers suggest.

Please don't presume tonspraknfor them and me. Were In to kill myself they would know and understand but also grieve. Because life is more complex than your answers suggest.

Admins, let's close this down. It's becoming less and less about the segment while more and more about sanctimony.

thinwhiteduke: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available. And/or 911.