"A Woman's Work Is Never Done":

Ralph: "Stop saying 'okay.' Say: 'That will be very good sir.'"

Thelma: "Okay."

"Alice & The Blonde":

Ralph: "Oh, by the way, when Mrs. Weidmeyer comes in, it might be good if
you complimented her on how she decorated this place. You know, she might give you a tip on how to fix up our place."

Alice: "I could sure use her help. I just can't figure out what color pan
goes best under our ice box!"

"Hair-Raising Tale":

(One of Ralph's failed inventions that was revealed in this episode was Glow
in the Dark shoeshine polish.)

Ed: "Mr. Mitchell, would you like to try shoeshine polish that glows in the
dark?"

Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU SHUT UP?"

"Battle of The Sexes":

Ralph: "Don't make a sound while I take a shot. Don't even breathe."

Ed: "If I don't breathe, I will die."

Ralph: "That's okay. Just don't make any noise when you hit the floor."

"The Deciding Vote":

Ralph: "How about the time when we were playing softball and you got hit in
the head with a bat? Who was it that got you a cab and took you over to the
hospital? I did. Who came and saw you every day? I did. Who got you cigarettes and candy? I did."

Ed: "Who hit me in the head with a bat? You did."

"We Spy":

(Ralph & Ed greet the girls wearing Russian uniforms. They try telling the
girls the story about them being mistakes for spies in Russia.)

Ralph: "Honestly I am telling the truth. Where do you think we got these
clothes from?"

Alice (reading the label on Ralph's uniform): "'The Fat Man's Shop.'"

"Without Reservations":

(Everyone is in the broken-down hotel.)

Ralph: "After all, we don't have to finish this hotel until they get the highway built."

Trixie: "I think it would be easier if they built the hotel and we built the highway."

"Ralph Kramden Presents":

(Ralph has every Raccoon believing that he knows Jackie Gleason and will get
him to come to the Raccoon Dance.)

Ralph: "Do you remember the last time that the Grand High Exalted Mystic
Ruler bought everybody a round of beer?"

Alice: "Yeah, the time that you told them that you knew Rudy Valee."

"Two Tickets To The Fight":

Ralph: "Throw a punch at me and I will duck."

(Ed throws a punch and hits Ralph.)

Ed: "Hey, that's some ducking Ralph. I can never hit you the second time."