"Brother Ralph":

Alice: "Don't you trust me Ralph? You are my husband."

Ralph: "No. I'm your brother."

"Brother Ralph":

Ralph: "You don't know how to handle money."

Alice: "Of course not. I never got any practice."

"The Golfer":

Ralph: "I have got enough confidence in me for the both of us."

Alice: "You got enough of EVERYTHING in you for the both of us."

"Cottage For Sale Part 1":

Trixie: "Ed, would you stop talking about the sewer while we are trying to play cards?"

Ed: "All right. I will tell you after when we are eating supper."

"Jellybeans":

Ed: "I was in a contest once. You had to name all the states. I got gyped out of the first prize. I named 66 states. The guy that won only named 48."

Ralph: "You are a mental case."

"Jellybeans":

Alice: "Do you know how many dresses I have had in the last few years? One dress."

Ralph: "You had a brown, a blue, a red and a green dress."

Alice: "Uh huh! This is the dress and I have run out of dye."

"Nephew of The Bride":

Ed: "How old is Aunt Ethel?"

Ralph: "I don't know. 112 or something."

"Nephew of The Bride":

Ed: "If you want to get rid of Aunt Ethel, why don't you stick your head out the window and yell: 'Fire!'"

Ralph: "What about the rest of the people in the building? They will think it's on fire for real."

Ed: "Then you yell: 'Fire, Aunt Ethel.'"

"Life Upon The Wicked Stage":

Alice: "My whole family is talented and I have inherited a great deal of talent."

Ralph: "Pardon me. I apologize. Your whole family is talented. Especially your dad. To raise six kids without going to work requires a lot of talent."