"Goodbye Aunt Ethel Part 2":

(Aunt Ethel and Fred are alone in the kitchen. A record is being
played.)

(Ed comes in.)

Ed: "Howdy folks. I heard the phonograph playing. I thought you would
like some of my records better. Here is a good one."

(Ed puts it on.)

(Loud big band music plays. Ed dances to it.)

(Ralph comes out and takes Ed's record off.)

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT!"

"The Hypnotist Part 1":

(Ed is hypnotized. He sees Ralph.)

Ed: "Look out. There's a whale in the sewer. It's Moby Dick."

Ralph: "If he wasn't under a spell, I would fracture his skull."

"Ralph's Big Mouth" (aka "Mind Your Own Business"):

Trixie: "Ed, that's very encouraging that you sold to your last
costumer. Maybe after talking to all those people, you found the
right thing to say. Did you remember what you said to that last
costumer?"

Ed: "Sure I do. I said: 'Mama, you just got to buy this iron.'"

"My Fair Landlord":

Ralph (yelling out the window to Mr. Olson): "YOU TAKE IT UP WITH THE
LANDLORD AND TELL HIM THIS. IF THERE AREN'T ANY IMPROVMENTS MADE
AROUND HERE, I'M LEAVING."

Mr. Olson (from downstairs, yells): "GO AHEAD AND LEAVE! THAT WILL BE
AN IMPROVEMENT RIGHT THERE!"

"Alice & The Blonde":

Ralph: "It just so happens that the Raccoon Lodge is going through a
financial crisis. And I'm the Treasurer Alice, I'm responsible. If I
don't get some money into that treasury you know what might happen?
The Bensonhurst chapter of the Raccoon Lodge may no longer be! Do you
know what that means?"

Alice: "Yeah, real estate values in Bensonhurst will go up 100%."

"Oh My Aching Back":

Ralph: "This is serious, Norton! Not only that my back hurts, but,
I'm half hot and I'm half cold! My head is red hot and my feet are
ice cold! Do you know what it is to have a hot head and cold feet?"

Norton: "I get that way any August day in the sewer during high tide."

"Movies Are Better Than Ever":

(Ed just won himself a TV using a movie theater ticket that Ralph got
for him.)

Ed: "It's just like the guys said: 'A lesser man would have said: 'I
bought the ticket. The set belongs to me.''"

Ralph: "I bought the ticket. The set belongs to me."

"In Twenty-Five Words Or Less":

Ed: "Why don't you name the dog Ralph? This way, not only can people
call him, dogs can call him too. Oh Ralph! Ralph! Ralph! Ralph!"

(Ed barks like a dog and scares Ralph.)

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT!"

"Nephew of The Bride":

(Ralph tries to open the window to get Aunt Ethel's milk.)

Ethel: "Pull harder."

Ralph: "If I pull any harder, I will lift the building off the
ground."