Episode #30
TV: Attached to "Dinner Guest."
VCR: Attached to "Songs & Witty Sayings."
DVD: Attached to "Songs & Witty Sayings" & "Income Tax."

This is one of my favorite 15 minute sketches. If you haven't seen
this episode yet, it does look funny on paper, doesn't it?

Trixie comes down to the Kramden apartment at 3am. Trixie reveals
that their apartment was painted today, though it was technically
yesterday since it is 3am. The paint smells awful. So she wonders is
her and Ed could come own and stay for the night. Alice obliges. Ed
Norton comes down and says thanks. He and Trixie go to get the cot.

Alice wakes up Ralph. Ralph thinks it's time to go to work, but Alice
tells him it's 3am. Ralph: "Why did you get me up at this time for?"
Alice: "The Nortons had their apartment painted today." Ralph: "Did
the news flash come across the radio?" Alice explains the the paint
smells awful in their house. Ralph: "Boy, that's a hot one. Norton
works in the sewer all day and he can't stand the smell of paint."
Hey everyone has a smell that they can and can't stand. Ralph has to
sleep in th kitchen with Ed. Ralph and Alice would wind up saying the
exact things to each other in this arguement in "Battle of The
Sexes."

Ed Norton comes down with the folding cot. Ed: "I hope I didn't
disturb your sleep." Ralph: "No, you didn't disturb my sleep. I get
up every morning at 3am to make sure I get a seat on the subway going
to work." The same sentences that Ralph and Ed just spoke would be
said again in "Battle of The Sexes."

Alice & Trixie go into the bedroom. Ed: "Hey Alice, if Trixie puts
her cold feet on your back, va va va voom." Ed sets up the cot that
he claims that he put up and took down 100 times. As he is etting it
up, you can see two of the front legs are not standing up straight.
Gee, I wonder what will happen when both men lie down on the cot?
Ralph lies down and because of the two front legs are not straight,
the cot collapses. Ralph: "I thought you put this up and took it down
100 times." Ed: "I do and the same thing always happens." Ed lies
down without taking his hat off. Gee, I didn't know that sleeping at
night with a hat like that was normal.

Ed gets Ralph up to get a cigarette and then a match. Ralph is trying
his best to not get angry. When Ed drops the match and Ralph feels
it, Ralph yells: "YEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Ralph,
gets up, does everything to make the pain go away. Alice and Trixie
come out. Ralph (to Alice): "You satisfied? You satisfied? Turning
this joint into a YMCA?" Ralph reveals that Ed Norton used him for an
ashtray because Ed wanted to smoke.

Ralph says the smell of paint never bothered him so it shouldn't
bother the Nortons. Ralph says to Ed: "Take your Erector set (the
cot) and get out of here." Alice says to Ralph that he will wake up
the neighbors because of his yelling. Ralph: "I hope they have to
have their apartments painted too. We will grab a brush and have a
ball." Gee, Ralph is sure being nice. Alice says that the Nortons are
going upstairs over her dead body. Ralph: "Don't tempt me." Ralph
insults Ed. So Trixie says: "Ed, are you going to stand there an let
this meathaead talk to you like that." Ed: "Of course not. Ralph, I
am mad at you." Ed says that without an angry tone in his voice which
makes it funny.

The Nortons leave angry at Ralph. Ralph says that Ed was never a
freind to him. Ralph says Ed always imposed on him, but when he
realizes that Ralph has always imposed on Ed, Ralph feels remoresful.
Ralph tries to go upstairs to get Ed and apologize. Ed comes in and
says: "I forgive you pal." Ralph says that they can spend the night
here after all. Ralph and Alice kiss and embrace.

Episode #31
TV: Attached to "Alice Plays Cupid."
VCR: Attached to "The Adoption."
DVD: Attached to "A Little Man Who Wasn't There" & "Goodnight Sweet Prince."

Before I begin this review, I will write this minor point. On
honeymooners.net, it says both "Ralph's Diet" & "Norton Moves In"
aired live on the same date when in fact they weren't.

As the name implies, Ralph is on a diet. (A storyline device that
would repeat itself later on in the series.) Mrs. Manicotti comes
down and says that her husband's birthday is today and she wants to
hide the food until he gets home. She invites Ralph and Alice to come
but Alice decines. She thinks with all the food there, it would be
too tempting for Ralph. Mrs. Manicotti leaves the food in the Kramden
apartment and leaves. Alice puts the cake and turkey (the food Mrs.
Manicotti brought down) into a drawer, but before she closes it, she
puts her finger into the cake and licks it off her finger.

Ralph comes home and says the diet is off. Ralph also says that there
wasn't enough lunch for him. Alice: "You had enough food for you to
last five days." Ralph: "Is that so? Well, I would like to live for
six or seven days." Alice says the doctor told Ralph to go on a diet.
Ralph makes this excuse: "I drive a bus all day. I got to have
something that will stick to my ribs." Gee, what an excuse Ralph has.
Alice: "Look at the stomach." Ralph: "That is not my stomach. It
happens to be a very low chest."

Alice gives Ralph some juice that has the nourishment of a lot of
food, including steak. Ralph tries it and thinks that the people who
made the juice left out the steak. Ralph wants to go to the fridge
but Alice won't let him. Ralph then thinks that since he hasn't eaten
that much, maybe he lost enough weight all day. He gets on the scale.
Ralph: "I don't need the diet anymore. I lost a pound."
Alice: "Ralph, when you lose a pound, it's like Bayoone losing a
mosquito." What does Alice mean when she says this?

Ralph then tries to get his mind of food by reading a newspaper.
Within five seconds of reading it, he stops and syas: "I'm starving."
Ralph turns on the radio to hear a baseball game. The announcer for
the game promotes some food which of course causes Ralph to break the
radio. Ha!

Ed Norton comes down. So Alice tells him to make sure Ralph doesn't
eat. Ed (with a banana in his mouth): "What's cooking?" Ralph says
it's nothing. Ralph asks Ed for the banana as Ed is eating it. Ed
doesn't give him the banana. Ralph then asks why didn't Ed respond to
him. Ed: "I don't like to talk with my mouth full." Ed tries to help
Ralph by if he says that he doesn't like meatballs among some other
foods. Ed leaves saying he made himself hungry.

Ralph tries to leave in hopes of getting some food. Ralph spots the
cake and turkey in the drawer and immediately starts his feast.
Ralph: "Heaven! Heaven! Heaven! This is living." Alice and Mrs.
Manicotti come down and see the damage that Ralph did to the food.
Alice says to Mrs. Manicotti that she can go down to the store and
get another cake and turkey and that Ralph will pay for it. Ralph
says that he's sorry and that he will start a new diet tomorrow.
Yeah, sure he will. Alice forgives him and they embrace.