"Ralph Kramden, Hero At Large" (aka "Trapped"):

Ralph: "You are the only man that can turn my stomach upside-down."

Ed: "There isn't a man in this city that is trong enough to do that."

"Brother Ralph":

Alice: "Don't you trust me Ralph? You are my husband."

Ralph: "No, I'm your brother."

"Finders Keepers":

Ralph: "it's a good thing that you weren't married to Alex Graham
Bell or he would have never invented the phone."

Alice: "It makes no difference to me. We don't have one."

Ralph: "With your voice, we don't need one."

"Finders Keepers":

Ralph: "We will sell hamburgers, hot dogs, flapjacks, pizza pies..."

Ed: "And we will widen the front door."

Ralph: "Why would we do that?"

Ed: "With all that food, how are you going to get in and out?"

"Two Tickets To The Fight":

Ed: "Are you sick?"

Ralph: "Yeah, I'm sick."

(Ralph winks to say to Ed that he isn't. Ed doesn't buy it.)

Ed: "You ain't kidding. You even got a twitch in your eye."

"Sleepy Time Gal":

Ralph: "This furniture is good for me."

Alice: "Sure. But just because you are a Raccoon doesn't mean that I
have to live in a hole in the ground."

"TV or Not TV":

(Ralph is outside in the hall with the TV antenna.)

Ralph (yells): "IS THE RECEPTION ON THE TV GOOD NOW?"

(Ed looks.)

Ed (yells): "THAT'S PERFECT RALPH!"

(Ed closes and slams the door. He changes the channel to The Captain
Video and His Video Rangers Show. He puts on his Captain Video Space
Helmet while Ralph bangs on the door.)

Ralph (yells): "NORTON! LET ME IN NORTON!"

Ed (yells): "OFFICAL SPACE HELMET ON, CAPTAIN VIDEO."

"We Spy":

(Ralph & Ed have been captured.)

Ralph: "What are we going to do?"

Ed: "I hope they don't brainwash us. I hate to come out of this thing
stupid."

"Out of Sight, Out of Mind":

Doctor: "This is an aptitude test Mr. Kramden. You are supposed to
take an object and fit it in its respective hole."

Ed: "Can three people play?"