Brian Damage
03-13-2007, 10:48 AM
Sgt. Joe Friday & Ofc. Bill Gannon (“Dragnet”)
With his unflinching demeanor and shiny black slab of hair, Sgt. Joe Friday (Jack Webb) is the first man most think of when the '60s series “Dragnet” is mentioned. But Sgt. Friday’s deadpan delivery would echo in the deviant streets of Los Angeles if Ofc. Bill Gannon (Harry Morgan) wasn’t there to back up his senior partner with a curt nod of agreement. The dedicated officers of this seminal crime series had no time for convoluted back stories. Flibbertigibbet female witnesses were cut off quick with a single monotone request: “All we want are the facts, ma’am.” Cigarettes, coffee and solid legwork were all these partners needed to solve the crime, making L.A. just a little safer from murderers, robbers, sex perverts and hippies.
Brian Damage
03-13-2007, 10:49 AM
Lt. Columbo (“Columbo”)
Though Lt. Columbo (Peter Falk) is often lauded for his keen deductive skills, it’s actually the L.A.-based detective’s seriously annoying personality that deserves credit for his 100 percent arrest record. The feigned ignorance of all things upper-middle class, the go-nowhere stories about his alleged wife and dog, not to mention the reek of his ever-present cheap cigar. Eventually even the cleverest of killers confesses, lest he or she be subjected to yet another unannounced visit from the bothersome lieutenant with no known first name. “Ah?just one more thing?” is the catalyst for full allocution. As for Columbo’s ratty raincoat — you have to wonder if personal hygiene is a factor as well.
Brian Damage
03-13-2007, 10:49 AM
ITV Productions
DCI Jane Tennison (“Prime Suspect”)
No-nonsense DCI Jane Tennison (Helen Mirren) clawed her way through British law enforcement’s institutionalized sexism, and she didn’t always look pretty doing it. Eventually, her hard work and determination paid off, earning the respect of her male peers and proving herself worthy to head a murder squad. Like many a career gal before her, DCI Tennison’s ambition took its toll on her personal life. She afforded more attention to a serial killer than her live-in lover, and ruined more than one of his dinner parties by forgetting to either pick up the groceries or failing to show up entirely. Apparently women don’t know how to use a telephone either.
Brian Damage
03-13-2007, 10:49 AM
Det. Frank Pembleton (“Homicide: Life on the Street”)
Jesuit-educated, New York City-native Det. Frank Pembleton (Andre Braugher) is the thinking man’s homicide investigator. He pursues justice for each victim equally, whether child or junkie, rebuking investigators who lack his conviction. “We speak for the dead,” Det. Pembleton says, and what better place to do it than Baltimore aka “Charm City”? Det. Pembleton shines in “the box,” an interrogation room in which he can make anyone confess. Throughout the series, a loss of faith, a stroke and rookie partner Tim Bayliss (Kyle Secor), test Det. Pembleton’s resolve, and eventually he quits the force. Even then he’s not free from the endless whining of Bayliss, who forces Det. Pembleton to listen to his murder confession on “Homicide’s” final chapter.
Brian Damage
03-13-2007, 10:50 AM
Det. Robert Goren “Law & Order: Criminal Intent”
Some may argue that old-school Det. Lennie Briscoe (Jerry Orbach), with his endless bad jokes at the corpse’s expense, is greatest cop ever on the endless “Law & Order” franchise. Compared to the ultimate gumshoe, it’s easy to miss the nuances of Det. Robert Goren (Vincent D'Onofrio) of the Major Case Squad. It’s more than the obnoxious way Det. Goren uses his hulking frame to invade a suspect’s personal space, or that he’s apparently smarter than Encyclopedia Brown. Det. Goren’s brilliance is revealed in the quiet moments, when he untangles wind chimes behind a witness who is being questioned by his partner, Det. Eames (Kathryn Erbe). It’s the way he switches non sequiturs mid sentence. It’s how he often seems to be on the verge of a psychotic break. Det. Goren is truly a detective for the 21st century.