Episode #27
TV: Attached to "Double Anniversary."
VCR: Attached to "Stand-In For Murder."
DVD: Attached to "A Weighty Problem," "Lost Baby," & "Man In The Blue
Suit."

Alice comes home and since it was raining out, she puts her shoes in
the stove to let them dry. Trixie comes down and Alice says she went
out to buy curtains. Trixie says the only reason why she doesn't buy
any more curtains is that Ed kept on using them as towels. Ha! Trixie
leaves.

Ralph comes home and complains about the lunch that Alice made for
him. He said that not only was it inedible, there also wasn't enough
of it. Ralph: "What did you try to do, make Exhibit A in a murder
case?" Ralph says that the lunch was so bad that the lunchbox got
heartburn. Ha! Alice says she got the idea for Ralph's lunch from a
mystery chef. Ralph: "If he cooks that way, no wonder he wants to
keep his identity a secret." Ralph says that the human body is like a
machine and it needs fuel so Alice says that next time she will give
him a lump of coal. Ralph reveals what Fred has for lunch that is so
large it would qualify as lunch and dinner. Ralph wonders where all
his fat went. Alice says: "Up there in the brain, fathead."

Ralph orders that his dinner to be made. Alice is so mad that she
won't cook dinner. She goes upstairs to Trixie's. She leaves. Ralph
tries to cook dinner. He gets a can and opens it with a can opener
and reads the instructions: "Empty contents and add a can of water."
Ralph does that and after that he notices something strange about
those instructions. The crowd laughs as he does this. Ralph thinking
about what he did says that he's going nuts.

Ed Norton comes down. Ed says that Alice is mad. Ed says he is tired
of eating peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. Trixie doesn't make
them, Ed does. Ed notices that the oven is hot, so Ed opens it and
Ralph finds Alice's shoes in there. Ralph, as usual, jumps the gun.
Ed: "Maybe Alice didn't have enough money to buy food." Ralph calls
Alice down. Ed says that Ralph probably had a pair of socks for
lunch. Ralph says to Ed that if he sees a man in a white coat, that
he should run because it ain't the Good Humor Man. Ralph says woman
our on the way out so Ed says: "Which way did they go?"

Alice comes down. Ralph asks why were the shoes in the oven?
Alice: "What did you think it was, your dinner?" Ralph: "After today,
I won't be surprised. Why not? Tonight, we can have oven-baked
wedgies. Tomorrow, we can have slippers and Sunday we can have
roasted sneakers." Ed leaves. Alice explains why the shoes were in
the oven. Frank comes in and reveals that his and Ralph's lunches
were switched. Frank reveals that what Alice cooked was great. D'oh!
Ralph made a mistake. Frank leaves. Ralph apologies to Alice.

Episode #29
TV: Attached to "Checkup."
VCR: Attached to "A Promotion."
DVD: Attached to "Two Men On A Horse", "A Promotion" & "Checkup."

Alice is doing her makeup. Ralph comes out and complains that he
can't find his other black sock. Alice goes into the bedroom while
Ralph takes off the balck sock that is on his foot and there's
another black sock on it (he put the two black socks on one foot), so
he tells Alice about it. Ralph's fly in his pants are open. Ed comes
down and is ready to go to the racetrack with Alice and Ralph. He is
wearing a loud jacket that he claims is lucky. He won money when he
had it on at one time. According to him, the only time it brought him
bad luck was the time that he met Trixie. Ralph talks to Ed and walks
around the room to hid the fact that he is zippering the zipper in
his pants and the studio audience realizes this and laughs loudly.
Ralph: "There comes a time in a man's life where he will need a
jacket like that." Ralph has picked five sure winners. Ed says that
tehre is no such thing as a sure thing so he tells a story on how one
horse couldn't lose and ended up losing because his tail go tstuck in
the starting gate.

Alice comes out and Ralph argues with her and says: "The next time I
take you someplace, I will leave you home." Ha! Ralph asks Ed to give
him some money. He has a hot tip on one horse that he thinks is going
to win. He is betting $30 on one horse. Ed leaves. Alice wants to
know how did Ralph get the $30. He got the money from the rent
money. "This is no wild scheme", says Ralph. Ralph knows a bus driver
who's got a brother-in-law that knows an uncle and this uncle knows a
guy who drives a milk wagon and this milk wagon delivers milk to a
barber who cuts the horse's jockey's hair. Alice sarcastically
agrees. Ralph syas that this horse is a 90-1 shot and when Ralph
multiplies 90 times 30, he can't come up with the answer. Gee, that
isn't saying too much about Ralph's IQ. Ralph: "We can move into a
penthouse and have a nice view of Central Park if we win." Alice says
the opposite will happen if they lose.

When word gets out, a bunch of people ask Ralph to place bets for
them. Ed comes up and says that there is a policeman coming up to the
apartment (thinking that someone is being a bookie). Ralph and Ed
panic so Ralph says to put it under the ice box, but Ed says that
that won't work. A policeman knocks on the door. Ed: "Just a minute.
We are not ready." Ralph suggests putting the list in the faucet, but
Ed says that that won't work since the cop may want a drink. Ralph
and Norton panic, and Norton tells Ralph to eat the list that he
wrote the bets on. Alice tells the cop that the list will prove
Ralph's innocence and Ralph discovers that he didn't eat the list
after all. (He actually ate the money.) The cop is convinced and leaves.

All I can say is if Jackie really ate the money, I hope he didn't get sick.

Credit goes to Yahoo! Groups You're A Riot for these two episode reviews as well as the episode reviews that I just posted before I posted these two.