LESSONS, QUOTES, AND PHILOSOPHIES LEARNED FROM THE BRADY BUNCH

1. It's important to share and respect each other's privacy.

2. Never bet on anything, even if you win, you lose.

3. If you ever have to boss anybody around, never be mean.

4. Jessie James was "A MEAN DIRTY KILLER, A MEAN DIRTY KILLER, A MEAN DIRTY KILLER!"

5. If you're going to a drive in movie in a convertible, NEVER take an umbrella!

6. Never use a whole box of soap in your washing machine.

7. A safety monitor should stand for "Snitch Monitor."

8. Bobby once used Carol's new lipstick to color his skateboard.

9. Cindy not tattleling on others could be a wonder of the world.

10. Lepidoptera is the scientific name for butterfly.

Jack

DON'T PLAY BALL IN THE HOUSE

11. Act your age

12. Don't try to be somebody you're not

13. Find out in advance what restaurant your parents are going to.....and go someplace else!

14. To try to prevent sexism in the family and dissension among the kids when they get sick, use a male and female doctor! (Especially if the family is a mix of brothers and sisters.)

15. Girls have a right to everything that boys have....(except boys' club houses, mens' locker rooms........and beards!!)

16. Making promises just to get elected in a campaign is wrong.

17. Chocolate makes you break out.

18. Encourage family activities and participate in them like Square Dancing, Potato Sack Racing, and Building Houses with Cards!

19. If your kids get sick, make up one different meal for each kid! Give them anything from a bologna sandwich to a "feast fit for a king!"

20. The game Monopoly has a county hospital. Jan won it, and if you go there you are treated by women doctors and men nurses.

21. Frogs have fun at drive in movies by jumping out of boxes and into your food!

Jack

Cavet his Eruptor... um....

Cavet Emptor... Is that right.. I know it was this one.. :lol:

Cavet his Eruptor... um....

Cavet Emptor... Is that right.. I know it was this one.. :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

22. Cavet Emptor is Latin for "Let the Buyer Beware!"

23. Alice's book of Mexican recipes come in three degrees:
"Hot, Super Hot, and PASS THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER" (which automatically is guaranteed to make you a Mexican citizen!")

24. There are three things that Mr. Brady says he can't do:
A. Sing
B. Play a Musical Instrument
C. Juggle Oranges :lol:

25. Every call that Carol made to her friend Martha on the pay phone was a toll call. (But Mike let her use his den phone.)

Jack

Some things I learned from the Brady Bunch:

1. Glasses and braces are for loosers.
2. You can fill a station wagon with gas and buy sodas for 9 people for under $10.
3. You CAN mow astroturf.
4. Jan gave a new meaning to the word "popularity."
5. Only their hairdressers know for sure.
6. Bicycle repair is a tough job.
7. A tape recorder will always start at the right place when you push play.
8. You only need a few plates in the cupboard to feed a family of nine.
9. Every family has at least 8 burlap sacks available at all times.
10. Any teenager can restore a car in days.

Sometimes even when we lose, we win.

22. Television stars DON'T play in tepees and they DON'T get dirty!

23. Warren Mulaney is at the top of Greg's crumb, list, the bottom of Greg's crumb list, and he's every crumb in between!

24. According to Alice, if you get promoted at your job she thinks that that calls for an extra slice of bologna on your sandwich!

25. Peter's such a bad detective, he couldn't find an elephant in a bathtub!

26. Jan thinks she is about as graceful in ballet slippers as an elephant on ice skates.

27. According to wallflower Molly Weber, the most popular girl in she and Marcia's Senior Class isn't Patty Holbert, it's Sally Holbert!

Jack

28. You shouldn't put down a loser because you might be one yourself someday.

29. Greg invited Kathy Lawrence over to bug Marcia for Marcia asking Warren Mullaney over to bug him! (i.e "An unpoularity contest!" according to Alice)

30. The Calderons didn't approve of Greg and Peter's "X-rated behavior", but admired that they and the girls told the truth

31. Bobby was gonna be a basketball star on Kaplutus if he hadn't awakened from his dream!

32. Bobby and Peter hoped that all the rust wouldn't come off of Greg's lemon car, because it was the only thing holding the car together!

33. Mrs. Hinton advises everyone to listen to what her husband Ralph has to say.

Jack

Never drive and read an album cover on the freeway.

34. Thoroughbred frogs suck at jumping! Don't go to a pet store if you want a good jumping frog. Get them at a pond! Also, get ONE frog at the pond! Don't drain the pond dry, or you'll have trouble finding your best jumper!

35. Marcia HATES high school! SHE HATES IT, SHE HATES IT, SHE HATES IT!!

36. Swiss Steak and Spaghetti used to be two of Cindy's favorite foods before she "became a television star" and had to go on a special diet.

37. Thoroughfare is spelled "T-h-o-r-o-u-g-h-f-a-r-e."

Jack

"There are three things that Mr. Brady says he can't do:
A. Sing
B. Play a Musical Instrument
C. Juggle Oranges :lol: "

D. And golf: it took him years and years of practice just to be bad! :lol:

"25. Peter's such a bad detective, he couldn't find an elephant in a bathtub!"

But before he realized how bad he was, he refused to "get lost" because he was such a good detective (or so he thought), he'd probably find himself!

1. When showing football plays, X's are for offense, O's are for defense. (Did I get that right?:crazy: )

2. Humphrey Bogart talked like he had something stuck in his teeth.

3. In order to break a date, you just have to say, "Something suddenly came up."

Never make a bet with a sibling, you will always lose.

The girl is always the better driver.

If you think of your driving instructor in his underwear, you will be relaxed enough to pass the test.

Joining every single club in school is NOT how you become popular.

Never buy hair tonic from your brother before your graduation or your hair will turn orange.

Glasses will make you look positively goofy.

Braces will make you look like an electric can opener.

Hit sitcoms and cousins named Oliver never mix.

Hit sitcoms do not necessarily mean hit variety shows, dramas or cartoons.

Little witches named Endora look eerily like a little girl named Marcia Brady.

A surefire way of knowing you need your tonsils removed is sneezing a lot (?).

If you don't have a boyfriend, invent an imaginary one and no one will be the wiser.

The best way to get the boy of your dreams to like you is to learn everything there is to know about bugs.

Hey jack what’s up, I hope all is well, hey today on TV land I was watching the top 10 Brady bunch episodes, but I wanted to asked you something, paramount is planning to released the ultimate Brady bunch box sets and you had mentioned a couple of times about the major an miner adjustments that they have to fix when it comes to the editing and dialoged what do they have to fix up, I am just curious, and do you think that they will fix up all of the editing problems

Never drive and read an album cover on the freeway.
If TBB was on today it would be don't text and drive on the freeway.:D

38. Call the doctor at the first sign of a sneeze or upset stomach!

39. Doctors are "right there" to come over, make immediate house-calls, like they have nothing else to do!

40. When you win or lose a game, get promoted at a job, or get rewarded for just about anything........eat cake!!! LOL!

41. Hungarian Ghoulosh was made American when Zsa-Zsa Gabor became a citizen

42. A party is a sure cure for the blues

43. If you win a contest and have to go somewhere to claim your prize, it's important that you know how to drive!

44. Ranchero's is Spanish for "Flame Thrower."

Jack

45. Being an authority at school does not give one the same authority at home.

46. If you want your parents to live by "exact words," be prepared yourself to live by the same rules.

47. Eating popcorn isn't really eating if you're just after the prizes.

48. Bobby and Cindy may have little legs but they go awfully fast!

49. Haskell's Ice Cream Shop has 29 flavors.

50. Bobby's favorite desert is "Strawberry Tall Cake."

51. Peter had the most jobs of any Brady kid:

A. Bike repairman at Martinelli's Bike Shop
B. Counter-Man at Haskell's Ice Cream Shop
C. Pizza guy at the Leaning Tower of Pizza

Jack

After my first years of watching this show and its specials, I learned alot of important things that prevented me from making some the worst mistakes people always make.

52. Have "House of Cards" contests to settle family disputes!

53. Giving your dog a bath won't stop an allergic reaction to him. But give him a bath anyway.

54. Within about 30 seconds (or less), you can determine whether or not someone is allergic to anything!

55. Make records of all the illnesses anyone in the family ever had on a chalkboard. If you have a pet, make a column for the vet as well!

56. When calling your kids all at once, call them from oldest to youngest!

57. If you have kids in the same room that are asleep, they will always wake up at EXACTLY the same time!

58. If you get a pay-phone in your house, make sure your have extra change when you make your calls or the operator may cut you off!

59. Pet stores may have a lot of white rabbits but not orange ones!

60. Carl Mahakian is a quitter!

Jack

Mrs.Next Door Neighbor Racist makes Archie Bunker look like a liberal...

You have already filled out the paperwork at the orphan mart, so we'll throw in the black and Asian kid because they are BEST FRIENDS with the white kid!!! (THREE MUSKETEERS!)

Find out what you do best and do your best with it


That'll do, Bob...

Singing is not for sissies; exhibit A...Deacon Jones

Always pull a Charlie Chan in the courtroom

Davy Jones may come to your rescue but his long haired, long faced producer will only shake his head and promise to send you his latest record

even though your Dad is gay, he can still sex up your Mom and keep that freaking smile on her face:lol: :lol: :lol:

No matter if it may affect the outcome of the House of Cards you must NEVER NEVER NEVER remove that pesky charm bracelet.

Give the housekeeper the cold shoulder when she falls out of line.

Too much custard makes too much Marcia!!!

If at first you don't succeed, TRY , TRY again!!!

Strawberries, when cooked, have no odor, (Robert Reed reference)!!!

Mike: "Reasoning. Calm, cool reasoning."
Craol: "Sometimes when we lose. We win."

2. You can fill a station wagon with gas and buy sodas for 9 people for under $10.

I watched the Grand Canyon episodes not long ago, and the grand total for that was $4.60! Do times change, or what?

Ancient relics found in Hawaii are not just toys for our amusement.

I watched the Grand Canyon episodes not long ago, and the grand total for that was $4.60! Do times change, or what?

I saw the Grand Canyon trilogy on my Season 3 DVD, and I remember the scene of Mike at the gas station with the station wagon, and somehow I recall him being quoted $6.50. I also remember that scene was cut from Nick(ed) at Nite and TVLand.

61. A perm and a 40-year old male do NOT mix.

61. A perm and a 40-year old male do NOT mix.

62. A wise man forgets his anger before he lies down to sleep.

63. Whatever goes up, sure as heck, comes down!

64. NEVER OPEN YOUR FRONT DOOR, without asking who it is!

65. You can't take a step forward, with both feet still on the ground.

66. The new Olympic record for messing up a kitchen is under two hours.

Jack

easy one for me Dont Play Ball in The House

there is no such thing as a jinx. and even when you are arrested you make one call and that is to your lawyer. Greg and Peters friend Gordy.

We women should take our purses everywhere we go. They may come in handy when we least expect it--like when we need to break out of jail. :lol:

62. A wise man forgets his anger before he lies down to sleep.

63. Whatever goes up, sure as heck, comes down!

64. NEVER OPEN YOUR FRONT DOOR, without asking who it is!

65. You can't take a step forward, with both feet still on the ground.

66. The new Olympic record for messing up a kitchen is under two hours.

Jack

67. Magic tricks can cure one's fear of the dark. Buy a disappearing cabinet or an instruction kit on building one. Just make sure your assistant reappears when they are supposed to and doesn't sneak out the secret door!

68. Don't use haylofts for snow to simulate skiing practice or you might get splinters.

Jack

Cindy doesn't need academic evaluation. I think everyone forgets what their favorite kind of sandwich is (note the sarcasm).