what would you do?

My grandmother (mom's mom) can hardly eat anything without having to throw up. When she feels like she is going to have a nervous stomach, she only eats toast. For the past 2 years, she has had a problem where she always feels ill and throws up for no reason. She doesn't tell anyone about it, and I found out about it by accident and told my mom and my aunt, who weren't supposed to know. When my aunt asked my grandmother about it, she said "It's not a big deal, I throw up sometimes but that's when I eat a lot and feel sick".

That's not true, at all. She can hardly eat without running to the bathroom and throwing up. I am concerned because she shouldn't have the problem and it could damage her throat. But worse, she doesn't want to tell her doctor about it. She told the doctor about it but she only said that she occasionally throws up, and they suggested that she goes and gets a test done, but she doesn't want to. She didn't tell her doctor the full story, about only eating bread and throwing up frequently.

I think that if she won't tell her doctor, one of us (me, aunt, mom) should call and tell. My grandmother will be angry, I'm sure, because she doesn't want the doctor to know. But I think one of us should call and tell.

What would you do in my situation, or in a similar one? has anyone been in a situation where you felt the need to tell about someone's problem that they do not want anyone to know about?

what would you do?

My grandmother (mom's mom) can hardly eat anything without having to throw up. When she feels like she is going to have a nervous stomach, she only eats toast. For the past 2 years, she has had a problem where she always feels ill and throws up for no reason. She doesn't tell anyone about it, and I found out about it by accident and told my mom and my aunt, who weren't supposed to know. When my aunt asked my grandmother about it, she said "It's not a big deal, I throw up sometimes but that's when I eat a lot and feel sick".

That's not true, at all. She can hardly eat without running to the bathroom and throwing up. I am concerned because she shouldn't have the problem and it could damage her throat. But worse, she doesn't want to tell her doctor about it. She told the doctor about it but she only said that she occasionally throws up, and they suggested that she goes and gets a test done, but she doesn't want to. She didn't tell her doctor the full story, about only eating bread and throwing up frequently.

I think that if she won't tell her doctor, one of us (me, aunt, mom) should call and tell. My grandmother will be angry, I'm sure, because she doesn't want the doctor to know. But I think one of us should call and tell.

What would you do in my situation, or in a similar one? has anyone been in a situation where you felt the need to tell about someone's problem that they do not want anyone to know about?


Unfortunately there is no way you can force your grandmother to get help if she refuses to see the doctor or get tests. It might be something that you need to sit down with your family in front of her and confront her. Just tell her that you are all extremely worried about her health and even if she doesn't think it is a big deal, she should get the tests done to ease the stress on your mom aunt and yourself.

The old "please do it for us grandma" might be your best avenue.

Good Luck I hope you can get her the help she needs

I think that either you, your mom or your aunt should inform your grandmother's doctor about what is going on.

Unfortunately there is no way you can force your grandmother to get help if she refuses to see the doctor or get tests. It might be something that you need to sit down with your family in front of her and confront her. Just tell her that you are all extremely worried about her health and even if she doesn't think it is a big deal, she should get the tests done to ease the stress on your mom aunt and yourself.

The old "please do it for us grandma" might be your best avenue.

Good Luck I hope you can get her the help she needs

She didn't tell any of us about her throwing up until I found out and told everyone. And my aunt knows that my grandmother throws up a lot more than she admits to, so even when she says she is okay, we know she is not. She was always the first one to tell my mom and my great aunt (her sister) to get their problems checked, so it almost pisses me off that she isn't going to get help.

I think if her doctor knew what was going on, she might be more willing to get tests done, if she knows that the doctor knows. Chances are, my aunt will call and tell.

The only thing that I can tell you is that, your mom and aunt should drag your grandmother to the doctors. I had a aunt who was sick for 2 years and she hid it from the rest of us until she was in so much pain that my cousin and grandma made her get into the car and took her to the hospital. And with in 2weeks she died from cancer, that she didn't know she had because she was to scared to go to the doctors.

So if I were you I would drag her to the doctors.

Try getting the worst case scenario into her head. Almost make her feel guilty for making you guys worry. Sounds cruel, but if it works, use it. That's a serious problem she has. It will ruin her throat/teeth/mouth, she'll get malnourished and dehydrated, and eventually she'll colapse and end up in the hospital anyway. Why not avoid the hospital and get help now?? I'll never understand how someone's fear of the doctor can outweigh the pain they are suffering.

My mom thinks that it's not my aunt's place (or mine) to make her get help if she doesn't want it, or to tell the doctor about her problem if she doesn't want them to know. I am going to talk to my aunt and convince her to make my grandmother go to the doctor, or to call and tell the doctor without telling my grandmother, so the issue is confronted at her next doctor appointment.

I think she doesn't want us to worry so she doesn't tell us what's going on, but it makes me worry A LOT MORE to find out on my own.

I agree with what everyone else said. Whatever you do try and get her to the doctor whether you have to confront her, make her feel guilty or drag her. My Mom hated doctors and she was sick. We kept telling her to go but she wouldn't listen. She died at home. I still feel guilty because I don't think we tried hard enough to get her to go. I think a lot of us were in denial about how sick she really was. I'd do things different today. Don't have any regrets. Do whatever has to be done.

My mom told me if I say anything to my grandmother, I will be in more trouble than I can possibly imagine. Well, I care about her health and I'm not listening to her.

I think it would be best for someone to either let your grandmother's doctor know, or, like others have suggested, just try, again, to talk her into it. You might have to try manipulating her, if she's dead set against it.

I hope whatever is wrong can be cleared up easily.