THE PHIL SILVERS SHOW---- Season 5

Starring Phil Silvers, Allan Melvin and Harvey Lembeck. With Paul Ford as Colonel Hall.

1- "Out of the Army Now (1)."- The Army wants to transfer Ernie Bilko to Wichita, Kansas.

2- "Out of the Army Now (2)."- Bilko resorts to trickery and deceit, as usual, to be able to stay right where he is comfortable.

3- "Back In The Army Now."- Mad at Bilko, Colonel Hall floods Bilko with work.

4- "Not In The Army Now."- Bilko searches for his inner soul at a mountainside retreat; guest starring Bob Newhart as Doctor Robert Hartley.

5- "Forced Into The Army Again."- Bilko recalls to Henshaw, unsure about what to do with the rest of his life after realizing he is middle aged, his times of hardships and how he was forced into the Army by his parents.

6- "The Case."- Bilko sues a company who he claims to have been duped into buying a product from; an old jury-duty pal is on trial and asks Ernie to be his witness.

7- "Bilko's Great Aunt."- An ancestor's legacy is questioned when Bilko stumbles upon old accounts of the family business; it turns out that the "business" was a legit dry-cleaners.

8- "The World's Longest Furlow."- Bilko milks his furlow time; injuries plague the fort.

9- "The Fair."- Ernie suggests Fort Baxter holds a fair to the Colonel; his motive is to lure new recruits into a friendly atmosphere and suggest a "friendly" game of after-fair poker.

10- "Society Club."- The Colonel suggests recreation for bored Nell; she joins a snooty society club that she soons regret becoming a member of after their rejection of her best friend.

11- "Bilko's Golf Game."- Ernie aims to improve his golf game to win a tournament and a hefty five-thousand-dollar grand prize.

12- "The Maid."- Laziness prompts Bilko's men to hire a maid to do their chores without him or the Colonel finding out.

13- "The Younger They Start."- Doberman thinks Bilko has fallen for a gorgeous twenty-something.

14 and 15- "Fool Me Once..."- The only man who ever beat Bilko at darts seeks a rematch to once again humiliate the clumsy Sargeant.

16- "Bilko Remembered."- Out of character, Phil Silvers and Allan Melvin recall old episodes of SARGEANT BILKO.

17- "The Commercial."- Bilko's convincing smile earns him a job to do a commercial.

18- "When Cons Collide."- Mastermind Bilko runs into a rival from his old camp, Private Brennan, and takes him on in a game of poker to see who is the king of gambling once and for all.

19-21- "Downsizing."- Bilko's cousin is fired from his company who is going through serious downsizing; Bilko decides to let him room with the guys, a decision he soon regrets.

22- "Sargeant Bilko's Day Off."- Chaos ensues when Ernie takes a day off because of sickness.

23 and 24- "United We Divide."- Bilko makes his men pay up all the money they owe him up front; Nell adopts a new dog, who takes an immediate dislike to the Colonel.

SEASON SIX

STARRING PHIL SILVERS
ALLAN MELVIN
HARVEY LEMBECK
HERBIE FAYE
BILLY SANDS
MAURICE GOSFIELD
JOE E. ROSS
PAUL FORD
AND
HOPE SANSBURY AS MRS. HALL.

WITH JIM PERRY
NICK SAUNDERS
AND JOHN GILSON AS THE CHAPLAIN.

1- "The Chaplain's Decision."- The Chaplain calls on Bilko to help him make a decision on what to do with an investment.

2- "Colonel Hall's Parade."- The Colonel visits his ill uncle in the hospital; the platoon gets the wrong idea about who is the patient and pledge to give him a parade if he makes it out alive!

3- "Modern Minds."- Bilko and know-it-all Sgt. Ritzik face off in a battle of wits in TRIVIAL PURSUIT.

4- "The Defiant One."- Colonel Hall, firm in a belief, rejects an order from the General.

5- "Colonel Hall's Marital Missteps."- The Colonel's wife is angry at his behavior as of late; Bilko attempts reconciling the two lovebirds.

6- "Bilko's School of Knowledge."- Bilko opens up a school on the fort in order to educate the misinformed about the world around them.

7- "Bilko Loves Joanie."- Ernie proposes to Joanie, who needs time to think about it.

8- "Joanie Loves Bilko."- Once Joanie accepts, Bilko himself begins to ask himself questions about which direction he wants to go down in his love life.

9- "Nobody Loves Bilko."- Colonel Hall is enraged at dilapilated Bilko; Joanie thinks Bilko don't love him.

10- "The Mess Hall Gets Messy..."- A food fight ensues after madness on the fort has been occuring for the past week; everyone is short-tempered and on the verge of insanity.

11- "What Mine Eyes Have Not Seen."- Bilko is convinced he has spotted a UFO from the fort observatory.

12- "Ground Control to Sergeant Bilko."- Observatory security guards dismiss Bilko from the building, feeling he has disrupted the flow of things with his UFO notion.

13- "Nanu, Nan-o."- The supposed UFO is declared a non-UFO by the government.

14- "Blasphemy."- Everyone in the platoon has a similar dream; corrupted Roseville officials resign, inspiring Bilko to run for office.

15- "Bilko's School Days."- When Henshaw peeks into Bilko's bedroom while he is on vacation, he discovers pictures of his school days, prompting the Sergeant to recall old times upon his return.

16- "The Strict Ones."- Colonel Hall threatens to demote Bilko unless serious reform occurs.

17- "The Teacher."- Bilko remembers his teaching days after tutoring the Colonels' nephew.

18- "Nell's Second Honeymoon."- Nell wants her husband to be more whimsical and exciting.

19- "The Unfathomable Truth."- Bilko baffles the Colonel when he is behaving well for once, and he wonders if it is too good to be true.


20- "All in Bilko's Family."- Sergeant Bilko's parents visit him for the first time in years and he hopes he has lived up to their expectations.

21- "Fit, Fat, and Fifty-Two."- Bilko strives to lose weight so he can fit into his original Army uniform.

22- "One Singular Sensation."- Bilko stages a play for his platoon to perform in order to win a bet that his men could outperform Company B.

23- "The Lasting Impression."- When Bilko first meets his steady girl's parents, his smoothtalking ways are reduced to nothing but one moronic stutter after another.

24- "Big Bet."- Bilko loses money supposed to be going to charity in a poker game than schemes to make it back in a Bilko first: by being a contestant on a game show!


25 and 26- "The Colonel's Wife and All Of His Men Couldn't Put The Colonel Back Together Again."- The Colonel gets a concussion when workers accidentally hit him with a block of wood while his home is under construction.

Season Seven

1- "I Married Joan?"- After a night of drinking, Bilko is convinced he has eloped with his girlfriend, who was also a little tipsy that night as well!

2- "Ernie the Critic."- The Fort tries to excite the men of the platoons by installing a daily Fort Baxter Newspaper covering both Fort and World news; Ernie is appointed film critic, which the editor soon regrets when he goes overboard and starts critiquing everything that's wrong with the paper.

3- "And The Colonel Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest..."- The Colonel's Wife worries about her husbands behavior as of late, fearing the onset of insanity.

4- "Bilko vs. Bilko."- Another conman in Bilko's family enters the Army and gets transferred to Bilko's platoon after his swindling gets him in trouble.

5- "Things That Shuffle In The Dark (1)."- An all-night gambling fest puts Bilko in jeopardy and in need of an explanation as to why he also gambled with platoon money when he ran out of money of his own; a blackout puts a halt to activity on the Fort.

6- "Things That Go Shuffle In The Dark (2)."- Bilko has forty-eight hours to return the money to the Colonel, or he will be demoted to Private.


7- "Things That Go Shuffle In The Dark (3)."- Bilko swindles his way to meet his goal just in time for the deadline.

8- "Army Blues."- Bilko yearns for his childhood days again before the Army called him to duty after taking a look at an old scrapbook from his high school.

9- "Colors."- Ceremonial preceedings for an important General's visit are squandered away thanks to Bilko's unorganized mannerisms. He revamps his lifestyle in an efficient, boring manner, not right for him.

10- "The Colonel, His Wife, His Wallet, and Their Bilko."- A skiing vacation's mishaps plague the Colonel, who was begged by Bilko to come with him on his vacation. His motive: to get the Colonel so easy-going that he'd offer to pay both bills! When Colonel Hall gets wind of this, it's finally up to HIM to turn the tables on Bilko!

11- "Bilko's Family History."- Sergeant Bilko discovers that an uncle who has been dead for 10 years invented a product that would've become a household name if he hadn't died so abruptly.

12- "All's Bilko Needs Is Love."- Ernie and Joan pretend to be fun-loving hippies in order to get through to a teen who's father wouldn't grant them a patent for Bilko's uncle's invention.

13 and 14- "The Inventor."- Bilko is finally granted a patent however the product is not quite as big as it was 15 years ago.

15- "Meet the Family."- Joan's mother (Eleanor Audley) makes a surprise visit to the newlyweds Ernie and Joan.

16- "The Budget."- Bilko complains to the Colonel about how hot his room is and how he wants him to install a fan; however, the Col. tells Bilko he must scrape the money together for the fan HIMSELF.

17- "Car Wash."- Fast-talking Bilko meets his match at a car wash in the form of a wise-cracking attendent (Don Rickles).

18- "Off Base."- Bilko takes in a ballgame with the boys, without telling the Colonel.

19- "Mrs. Hall and the Misunderstanding."- Mrs. Hall's black eye causes controversy around Fort Baxter, because the men think it was hubby who belted her, while it turns out she did it to herself!

20- "Don't Go Talkin' 'Bout My Lover."- Talk that marital problems are plaguing Bilko filter around Fort Baxter.

21- "Fool Me Once, Shame on You..."- An April Fools' Day joke is pulled on Bilko, who in turn plays a joke on his men.

22- "Summoned."- Bilko is summoned to appear before court by a crotchety old man who says Bilko's car almost ran him over.

23- "You Gotta Have Bob Hope..."- Bilko schemes to get Bob Hope to appear at the Fort after telling the men (in order to rake in big money) that the actor would appear at his talent show.

24- "The Show Must Go On."- Car troubles and lightning storms make Bilko late for his own talent show, causing chaos to erupt.

25- "Your Grand Vacation."- Bilko appears on YOUR GRAND VACATION, a new game show which gives away vacations to hard-working men around the country.

26- "Kids."- Ernie's nephew visits Fort Baxter asks Henshaw where he came from; Joan's niece is also in town, but causes mischief with Ernie's nephew instead of doing her homework like she was told to.

27- "The Math Tutor."- Joan and Ernie try to help her niece with a troubling math problem once she finally sits down and starts doing her homework; but while they're scratching their heads trying to figure out the problem, Ernie's nephew comes to sneak Joan's niece out of the Fort and they sneak across town to cause more disturbances around the community.

28- "The Longest Day."- Nothing goes right for the Colonel on one miserable Spring day.

end of season 7.