a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, \"I think I\'ll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?\"

a.. Who was the first person to say \"See that chicken there....I\'m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it\'s butt.\"

a.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

a.. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

a.. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

a.. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

a.. If the professor on Gilligan\'s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can\'t he fix a hole in a boat?

a.. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don\'t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

a.. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

a.. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They\'re both dogs!

a.. What do you call male ballerinas?

a.. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

a.. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,why
didn\'t he just buy dinner?

a.. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

a.. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

a.. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

a.. Isn\'t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

a.. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?

a.. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

a.. Why do they call it an asteroid when it\'s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it\'s in your ass?

a.. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog\'s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can\'t wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

a.. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Harvey

My freezer has a light.

My freezer has a light.

Could you dim it, so I can be partly right?

Harvey

Could you dim it, so I can be partly right?

Harvey
lol....I'll just keep the door shut.

a.. Isn\'t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

:lol:

So true, especially with the high price they charge for admission!! Mickey Mouse is the Anti-Christ in our household!!:D

I've got one that I've always remembered--

Why do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways?

yayyyy more.


a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, \"I think I\'ll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?\"
a cow's milk is consumed by its offspring; it wouldn't take long to figure out that it's consumable and can be retrieved by milking it.

a.. Who was the first person to say \"See that chicken there....I\'m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it\'s butt.\"
people know that birds are edible, and that includes their offspring, even before it's hatched.

a.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
one may use it for an experiment for something; you don't have to eat it.

a.. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
freezers are much smaller and adding such facilities wouldn't be necessary; however some freezers do have lights.

a.. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
songs and lyrics are generally written to express an emotion; apathy is an emotion, and can be expressed.

a.. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
if the circumstances are right, yes.

a.. If the professor on Gilligan\'s Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can\'t he fix a hole in a boat?
that show is not supposed to be realistic.

a.. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don\'t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
because that would be disgusting.

a.. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
they don't necessarily have to look at "all" of you.

a.. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They\'re both dogs!
goofy is supposed to have a human-like manner, while pluto is more of a pet.

a.. What do you call male ballerinas?
ballet dancers.

a.. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
if they have ever seen in their lives (and went blind later) they may have visual dreams, but otherwise they only dream of sounds.

a.. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,why
didn\'t he just buy dinner?
because the roadrunner wasn't on the menu.

a.. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
the word quizzical doesn't even refer to the word quiz, so there goes that question.

a.. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
the adjective of a noun can refer to what the noun is meant for.

a.. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
no.

a.. Isn\'t Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
no, because that mouse doesn't exist.

a.. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?
one of them copied the melody of the other.

a.. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
yes, under general circumstances they get the same quality of nutrients from it. toddlers are normally illerate, and they get the same nutrients out of it as a literate one would.

a.. Why do they call it an asteroid when it\'s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it\'s in your ass?
"as" isn't a prefix, nor does it refer to the word ass, and "hemor" isn't the same prefix as "hemi", let alone if it even is one.

a.. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog\'s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can\'t wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?
because there's nothing in his face when he has his head out the window.

a.. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
no.