View Full Version : Help me find Cliffy's Buffalo Theory Beer quote?


mol the doll
06-12-2006, 05:55 PM
Help! The following quote is attributed to Cliffy on many Internet sites,
but I've been unable to locate it in any episode. Does anyone know
which Season/Episode it comes from? Thanks!

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is
good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the
whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest
brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers

chipsaugratin
07-07-2006, 04:06 PM
I have seen every episode, a lot more than once, and I am 100% sure Cliff NEVER said this. It is an internet hoax that has been around for years, because it sounds vaguely like something Cliff might have said. The only thing that would convince me otherwise would be DVD evidence to the contrary.

SpunkiiMonkii7078
07-08-2006, 12:55 AM
Oh! I just saw the episode where Cliff said that the other day! I don't know the name of the episode or anything, I'm sorry. I just remember seeing that part. I do know that I saw the episode on TV Land last week or the week before. And I think TV Land is currently airing the 3rd season? I am about 99.9% positive that the episode Cliff says that in is in season 3. I'm sorry I don't know the episode title.

Jessica

chipsaugratin
07-10-2006, 08:33 AM
I have the 3rd season on DVD. I have Seasons 1 through 8 on DVD and I know for a fact that this quote is not in any 3rd season episode or any of those episodes. If you believe you saw it, what were some of the other details of the episode? What was the plot? Who were the guest stars, if any? What (if any) was Norm's entrance joke? I am firmly convinced that I am right about this, and if I am wrong, in the words of Dr. Simon Finch-Royce, "I promise take my own life in the most disgusting manner possible."

SpunkiiMonkii7078
07-12-2006, 12:31 AM
I have the 3rd season on DVD. I have Seasons 1 through 8 on DVD and I know for a fact that this quote is not in any 3rd season episode or any of those episodes. If you believe you saw it, what were some of the other details of the episode? What was the plot? Who were the guest stars, if any? What (if any) was Norm's entrance joke? I am firmly convinced that I am right about this, and if I am wrong, in the words of Dr. Simon Finch-Royce, "I promise take my own life in the most disgusting manner possible."

Hm. Well. I saw the episode a few weeks ago, so I don't remmeber the plot or anything because I've watched so many episodes since then. I just remember the quote because I was laughing histarically at it. LOL. I feel bad because I don't remember. Um. I know it's a season 3 episode. It just has to be. Why don't I look up all the season 3 episodes I've watched lately? Yeah. I'm going to do that right now. LOL. Okay I saw the episode on TV Land and these are the episodes on TV Land I saw lately: Diane's Allergy, A Ditch In Time, Whodunit, King Of The Hill, and Teacher's Pet. I feel really bad I don't remember anything about the episode and I can't help you more but I hope someone else can find it.

Jessica

chipsaugratin
07-13-2006, 08:36 AM
When I first saw a print-out of that alleged Buffalo Beer Theory quote about 4 or 5 years ago, I was certain right away that it was phony, but I had no immediate way to confirm this since Cheers was no longer syndicated in my area. Since the DVDs began being released in 2003, I paid particular attention to see if this quote was in one of those episodes. In addition to all previous viewings of every episode on TV, I have now watched seasons 1 through 7 at least 3 times each on DVD, and I am currently going through season 8 for a 2nd time. That monologue is simply not there and I remain convinced that it is an internet hoax. Now, when the final 3 seasons are eventually released, 1 way or another we will have a definitive answer. Until then, DVD evidence will be required to change my mind. However, a more detailed episode description might cause me to question my conviction.

chipsaugratin
02-20-2007, 01:18 PM
So you have had 7 and 1/2 months - have an answer yet?

the legend
03-28-2007, 10:16 PM
hello, people. I tried to find out what there´s going on with this beer theory in the internet, because i haven´t the dvd´s. I searched nearly full 20 hours and that´s what i found out or not.

1.
the first mysterious thing is that nearly everybody quotes this theory with the beginning words :
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory
to his buddy Norm. and here's how he explained it :
- as a result we can force that the most people just copied this text

2.
No one of this people ever tell us about the episode, the title, the season where the beer theory is declared.
- as a result we can force that nobody ever knewed where the theory took place

3.
I searched for an answer in more than 40 episode AND trivia guides about cheers but the beer theory is never mentioned in a word. the word "buffalo" is although never mentioned.
- the result: that the beer theory is never mentioned in the guide isn´t a proof for it´s non-exsistence but it doesn´t make the whole story more truely.

4.
Isn´t it doubtful that everybody quotes the beer theory of cliff but never a reaction from norm or another person in the bar about the theory was quoted? (norm - ally (bad joke:D )there was a reaction to the crazy cliff-declarations..)

5.
:eek: But there was one little thing i found: somebody(i know that´s nobody) says that DIANE was involved in this beer-theory-talk.
- But he couldn´t remember anything else....

6.
Maybe the beer theory was mentioned on one of the cross-over episodes (wings, frasier, St. Elsewhere? or in the unaired military-spot or something), where norm and cliff had a guest appearence. But it´s although a theory
:D

So, i think I need the dvd´s with all episodes.
BYE :wave:

Yooch
03-28-2007, 11:03 PM
Help! The following quote is attributed to Cliffy on many Internet sites,
but I've been unable to locate it in any episode. Does anyone know
which Season/Episode it comes from? Thanks!

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is
good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the
whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest
brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers

I know none of the particulars of this quote, such as what season or even which episode. Its spurious origin notwithstanding--it is very funny, and "classic" Cliff Clavin.

chipsaugratin
03-29-2007, 09:03 AM
1 problem - it is not from Cheers. I am old enough to have seen every episode first run on the network, and I am 100% certain this exchange never occurred. I have seasons 1-8 on DVD and it aint't there.. Perhaps I will be proven wrong once seasons 9-11 are released (if ever) but I strongly doubt it. And, frankly, it doesn't sound very much like Cliff, its too long and not that funny.
Now, if want you to see Cliff explain why you should drink ice cold beer on a cold winter day, check out "Coach Returns To Action," from Season 1. THAT is classic Cheers and classic Cliff.

mol the doll
04-20-2007, 09:51 PM
OK, Chips wins as the best Cheers expert ever.

Thanks for all the help, everybody. I officially give up on this.

chipsaugratin
08-25-2008, 11:56 AM
It looks like I must apologize, not because I think I am wrong (I still think I am right) but because it is apparent that there is no way to indisputably prove 1 way or another the existence of the "Buffalo Beer Theory " quote. I saw on the season 8 DVD how dialogue and jokes can get completely edited out of "Cheers." Having read the posts regarding the season 9 and 10 DVDs which have been edited, and assuming season 11 will also be edited somehow, that means that if the quote was in the original broadcast, there is no assurance that it will make the DVD. So, even assuming there is no DVD evidence contrary to my belief, I can no longer assume it confirms my memory.

Ergo, the quote may in fact exist, and CBS Home Video/Paramount has made it impossible to settle the question.

Pesk
10-29-2008, 03:49 PM
I'm sure I've heard the buffalo theory before. As I recall, cliff was going off on a tangent, the scene ended with the audience laughing and clapping, and there was no follow-up comment from norm or anyone else.

I have every episode of cheers from season 6 onwards recorded straight off the tv onto blank video, so the episodes I watch are unedited. If I come across the episode with the scene in it, I'll let you all know. :)