3 Major Things on my Mind

College: I don’t know what to do anymore. On one hand I just wanna stay home and go to a two year college or MV because I don’t know how much I can handle on my own yet. Right now I just feel so dependent on parents still and I’m worried if I leave to go anywhere I’ll flip and have to come back. But then again who knows how much I’ll mature in a year. Then on the other hand, I feel like if I stay here I’ll be trapped. None of my friends are staying here and I’ll feel so isolated and alone in an area with no opportunities. I know even if I do go to a community college or 2 year college near here first, I’ll transfer eventually…but I don’t know how much I’ll be suffering those first two years. It’s like you weigh the pros and cons of each side and, to me, both are weighing the same.

Family:I feel so lost in my family. I feel like I’m the oddball. I don’t want to grow up being like either of my parents. I love them, but I’d just be so upset to become them. They are not who I want to be. It’s like, they’re two extremes. My mom’s far too laid back and doesn’t care about anything while my dad is far too uptight and bitches about everything. I couldn’t take to live like either. I feel like right now I’m somewhere in the middle, but who knows if I drift to one personality or the other. They say you always grow up to be your parents, and that scares me.

Future and who I am: And one last thing that’s bothering me, I’m so disappointed in myself. I feel that in all 3 years of highschool I’ve accomplished nothing and that, next year as a senior, it’ll be too late. I’ve always told myself things will be better when I’m older, or I’ll do that next year. I’m so afraid to do things and it results in me being a nobody. I’m not a part of any school functions, I don’t do sports, I don’t do drama, I don’t sing, I don’t write or get involved in anything, yet I know I’m supposed to. I feel like an absolutely hopeless person who, if I stay like this, will get nowhere in life. I’m terrified of not becoming someone. I’m terribly jealous of anyone who is. It hurts that I’m sitting here day after day and getting nowhere.

Well, I felt the same way about school. I felt like I had to go to a 4 year school because everyone else was, and I thought it would look like I was dumb if I went to a 2 year. Dumb thing to think. I moved 2 hours away and I hated it so much! I'm a momma's/daddy's girl and I missed home. I also missed the familiarity of the city. Though I hated it, it really wasn't all that bad having a little (and in a dorm, I do mean little) place of...well, half your own. And if you meet some friends, it's even better.

As far as the schoolwork load goes...I personally thought freshman year was a lot like HS. It wasn't that much more work. I took a summer class at my local community college and it wasn't all that different than the college ones. At least I didn't think so.

Regardless of how much you don't think you can handle it, I'm willing to bet you would be fine out on your own and would love the freedom that it would offer. I was really unsure last year too but I love being on my own so much. A four year college is going to give you a lot more opportunities than a community college would. If you're away from home you're going to have the chance to figure out so much more just who you are as a person without all of the influences from family. And just because you weren't involved in things in high school doesn't you mean you can't be involved in tons of things in college. College has way more to offer than just classes. Cheer up!!!

It is easy to think you are totally dependent. It's probably because you have been used to living at home all your life, and now you are making a leap into adulthood of the responsibility.

When I was younger and out of high school, I pictured myself quite apprehensive about moving out. My sister and I moved out and lived together for about five years before I moved out on my own. Within time you will most-likely get used to being a little more independent. If you are quite close with your family, then you will depend on them for certain things, and that is quite normal.

Hang in there. You will get used to things. :)

I had pretty much the same feelsing as others here. I was raised by my dad. I was a total dady's girl. When it came time for college I was awarded a full 4 year scholarship to a college in Texas. That seemed so far away. I was so afraid of leaving my home and all the friends I knew. I did it though. It turned out to be a wonderful experience.

Have you ever thought about starting at a two year college? Then if you feel up to it you could always transfer to a four year university later.

I had pretty much the same feelsing as others here. I was raised by my dad. I was a total dady's girl. When it came time for college I was awarded a full 4 year scholarship to a college in Texas. That seemed so far away. I was so afraid of leaving my home and all the friends I knew. I did it though. It turned out to be a wonderful experience.

Have you ever thought about starting at a two year college? Then if you feel up to it you could always transfer to a four year university later.
Thanks for the responses, it helps reading other people's opinions :)

Yeah, I have thought about that. It seems like a good idea...for me to go only semi-far now, and go to nyc or albany later on. I feel that I need a big city to get far in what I'm interested in. I can't stay near here.

yeah for the college thing...i think you should try maybe staying at a 4 year one :nod: it could be a good experience. it's up to you, though.

:hug: Yer gonna be okay. I totally understand about being unsure of independence and I think all of us can relate at times. It's just about finding what you like in life and using that as a motivation to succeed. Even if you don't think so everybody has that one special talent. One of my favorite sayings is "nobody can do everything but everybody can do something" Oh and about community/local colleges, (if you are considering them) they aren't as bad as they sound. My brother goes to a college barely 40 min away from our house and he is very happy there and has many levels of independence, plus its saving him money for law school.

Best of luck to you and hang in there. :wave:

Future and who I am: And one last thing that’s bothering me, I’m so disappointed in myself. I feel that in all 3 years of highschool I’ve accomplished nothing and that, next year as a senior, it’ll be too late. I’ve always told myself things will be better when I’m older, or I’ll do that next year. I’m so afraid to do things and it results in me being a nobody. I’m not a part of any school functions, I don’t do sports, I don’t do drama, I don’t sing, I don’t write or get involved in anything, yet I know I’m supposed to. I feel like an absolutely hopeless person who, if I stay like this, will get nowhere in life. I’m terrified of not becoming someone. I’m terribly jealous of anyone who is. It hurts that I’m sitting here day after day and getting nowhere.

Ugh, reading this made me cry because I'm in the exact same situation. I'm a complete social misfit. I don't know how to function correctly in school. I come home and cry everyday because I hate it so much. My biggest fear is to end high school and be known as the quiet girl because that is not who I want to be.

As for the college thing, you should probably try to move away. I probably won't even go to college because without my parents I'd just kill myself.

Ugh, reading this made me cry because I'm in the exact same situation. I'm a complete social misfit. I don't know how to function correctly in school. I come home and cry everyday because I hate it so much. My biggest fear is to end high school and be known as the quiet girl because that is not who I want to be.

As for the college thing, you should probably try to move away. I probably won't even go to college because without my parents I'd just kill myself.
I'm sorry Lauren. I know, it's an awful feeling. You see all of these kids getting awards for all these things they do and yet you're just sitting there in the background, getting no attention or recognition. I'm so jealous of those people because they're exactly who I want to be, and I'm not. I feel like I'm contributing nothing to this world and that I'm not living life to the fullest and that everyone else is better than me because they are. -_-

Thanks guys. The thing is, the things I'm interested in, like writing and improv and things like that, I feel as though there's nothing for me with that in my area. Central New York. There's nothing here. That's why I want to go to a college in a larger city. I feel that I have so much more opportunities in a bigger city and really there arn't any near here. The closest is Syracuse and...I dunno...Maybe I'll try a 2 year college an hour or less away and then transfer to a college in New York or Albany Junior year. I'd feel like I wouldn't be getting anywhere if I stayed here.

Too much crap for complaint department
Yes well I just added an entry on the complaint thread..

So much trash and garbage in the world now,its hard not adding an entry there!!

I suppose I could post another thread like this one but I like to keep everything in 1 place,it looks neater and cleaner....

I dunno... If I did post a seperate thread,Todd or Stevie could just merge it if they wanted to :)